by R. R. Banks
"Did you call him again?" she asked, doing nothing to conceal the judgment in her voice.
There's no point in trying to deny it. She knew that I had called Micah more than a dozen times every day for the last two days. He hasn't answered any of them.
"I just don't understand," I said.
"We tried to explain it to you," she said. "We told you that everything was going to be different after you had been home for a while."
"But he said…"
"And I'm sure he said that to plenty of people before."
I shook my head. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to let myself even think for a second that everything that he had said to me had been a lie, no matter what my mother or my older sister was trying to tell me.
"It doesn't make any sense," I said.
"Of course, it does. He had fun with you while he could and now it's over. The romance and drama of it was fun while it lasted, but after a few days it passed, and you don't amuse him anymore. You just have to face it, Charlotte. He doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You need to stop trying. Stop throwing yourself at him. It's not going to change anything and it's just going to make you look more pathetic."
I looked up at my sister.
"Thank you so much for that," I said. "I really appreciate all the love and support that you're showing me."
Miranda sighed and sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around me.
"Sarcasm has never really been a good color on you, Charlotte. But I'm sorry anyway. I really don't mean to be hurting your feelings. I care so much about you and I just want to see you be happy. I want you to know what it's like to have what I have. A husband. A home. Children. A real life. That man isn't going to give it to you, so you need to just put him behind you and move on."
"I'll try," I said.
Miranda hopped up and offered me her hand.
"Come on," she said. "There's no time like the present. We have a Christmas party to get ready for and nothing helps to soothe a broken heart like getting festive."
I tried to laugh. She looked as excited as a small child that it was Christmas season and I knew that she was looking forward to my parents' party. The party was always a time for her to show off a new outfit, or how perfectly her children were dressed, or the new piece of jewelry that her husband had gotten for her. This year, it was an opportunity for her to talk about being pregnant and to rub the very tiny burgeoning belly that still was at the phase where it looked like she had just eaten a little bit too much. I wasn't looking forward to the party as much. I wanted to be excited for Christmas. I wanted to be happy that my father seemed to be recovering. But my heart was aching for Micah and I couldn't make it stop. My mother and my sisters had told me that I was being ridiculous thinking that I ever could have had anything with him. They said that it was crazy for me to even think that things could have worked out between us. We were from two different worlds and no matter how much I didn't want it to, that mattered.
I struggled to believe that. I thought about the days that had passed when I lost my memory. I didn't know who I was then or anything that had happened to me in the past. I didn't know who my family was or who Micah was. And yet I had felt such a strong connection to him. I felt such a powerful pull to him, as if something inside of me was reaching out to him for recognition and for safety. Again, I thought about how my life seemed to have orbited his. I had been so attracted to him even before I started dating Daniel, and then while we were together I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about him or wanting to find ways to be close to him. I wish that there was something that could have been different. Just a single moment. Maybe if he had turned around one day and said something to me when he saw me rather than just walking away. Maybe if I'd have been brave enough to actually try to be a part of the popular crowd rather than just staying on the outer edge all the time. Maybe if I had taken one of the opportunities to say something to him. Maybe if I hadn't let my shyness and insecurity shape everything about myself and how I saw the world around me. Maybe even if I had just chased after Micah that afternoon, followed him just long enough to say thank you for protecting me from Daniel. Maybe then life would have been different.
Miranda walked out of the room and I followed her, knowing in the back of my mind that nothing she had said had changed my thoughts or my heart. I was going to push my way through the Christmas party. I was going to smile like they expected me to. I was going to greet our guests and try to be as festive and happy as I possibly could be. But as soon as it was over I was going back to the mountain. I was going home to Micah.
I could hear the party in full swing below me as I put the finishing touch on my hair and gave my lips a final swipe of red lipstick. I wanted to look perfect. Not for the party, but so that when I left I could go straight to Micah. I heard my mother call up to me and I told her that I was on my way. I slipped into my high heels as I walked out of the room, feeling happier and more excited than I had in days. As soon as I got to the middle of the staircase, however, all of that disappeared. Daniel was standing at the bottom of the steps looking up at me. My mother was standing to one side of him, a smile on her face. I knew that this has been planned. I knew that this was not a surprise to her. She knew that he was coming, and she didn't tell me. The guests had started to trickle toward the entryway, but I didn't care. I took another few steps toward him, glaring directly into Daniels eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I was invited."
I felt like I was right back in the cabin. I felt like this was the conversation that we had already had, and it is all starting over again. My mind was swimming. I was furious, but I was also afraid. I didn't understand how this could be happening again.
"I didn't invite you. I don't want you here."
"Charlotte, don't act this way," my mother said. "There are guests here."
She was still grinning, almost maniacally, as if somehow, she can make it so the people around her didn't hear her scolding me as long as she was smiling.
"I don't care that they're our guests here, mother. I do care that he's here. I made it very clear that I didn't want to see him again. How dare you invite him here and not tell me?"
"I don't need to get permission from you to invite anyone to my own house," she said.
"Fine," I said. "But you could at least show me the respect of not having him here when I have told you that I don't want to see him. I have told you again and again that our relationship is over."
"Charlotte, please," Daniel said. "Don't be mad at your mother. I asked her if I could come here. I needed to see you again. And I thought that this party would be the perfect opportunity because I have come here for a very special reason. I've come here to bare my soul to you, to look you in the eye and tell you but there is nothing in this world that is as precious to me as you, and that I can't imagine another day of my life without you."
"Daniel, stop."
Daniel reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. I couldn't believe that this was happening. I gripped the banister beside me, trying to keep myself calm, trying to keep myself under control.
"Charlotte Dabney, I have loved you for so long and I want to keep loving you. Will you marry me?"
Gasps rose up through the crowd as if the guests had the same bizarre filter as my mother and hadn't heard the confrontation between Daniel and me. Instead, they had only heard the proposal and were somehow wrapped up in what they saw as the romance of it all.
"Daniel, I didn't come back here for you. I came back here to take care of my father."
"To take care of me?" my father asked.
"She doesn't really mean that," my mother said hastily, patting my father on the back, trying to guide him back into the living room with the rest of the guests. "She just means that she's happy that she's home so that you can spend more time with you."
I narrowed my eyes at my mother.
"That's not what I mean. I mean that my mother c
alled me and told me that my father was extremely ill, and the doctors didn't know if he was going to survive because of his weakened heart. She told me that I needed to come home so that I could help take care of him and be here with him because it might be his last few weeks."
"Violet, is this true?" my father asked.
In that moment I realized that I had never once mentioned this to my father. I had tried to keep it from him because I thought that talking about his illness would only be more difficult for him.
"You have been sick," my mother said.
"I had the flu," my father said. "That's all. I was already nearly recovered by the time that she got here. The doctors didn't say anything to me about my heart or about this weakening me in any way."
"What's going on?" I asked.
I saw my mother and Daniel exchange glances and realization settled over me. They had done this on purpose. She had lured me back to her so that she could offer me up to Daniel.
"I don't know how to make this any more clear for either one of you," I said, no longer afraid. "I want nothing to do with Daniel. I want nothing to do with a man who is cruel and abusive and manipulative and neglectful. What I do want is the man who I love with everything in me. And who loves me in return."
"Who is she talking about?" Daniel demanded.
"You didn't tell him?" I asked, then turned to look at Daniel. "When I left you in the cabin the week of Thanksgiving I was rescued from the storm by the most amazing man I have ever met. And it turns out I met him before I thought I did. His name is Micah Davis and we've known him since high school. He rescued me and took care of me."
"He kidnapped her," my mother insisted. "He took her and kept her in his lodge and didn't let her call home and didn't let her try to get help."
"That's not true," I said. "None of you looked for me. None of you cared that I was missing."
"We didn't think it was possible that you could be in the hands of such a dangerous man."
"There's nothing dangerous about Micah. He is more successful and powerful than any of you. And he did that for himself. He didn't just grab onto the coattails of his father and ride them to a life of complacency. He created himself into the man he is today and there is no other man in this world who I could ever imagine spending a single day with."
I started back up the stairs to my room, wanting to change my clothes and pack my bags. I didn't care anymore what anyone thought. I was nearly to the top of the stairs when I heard Daniel’s voice calling up to me.
"You're throwing your life away if you walk away from me and go back to him."
I paused and turned around slowly to look at him.
"No, Daniel. That's what I would be doing if I stayed with you. If I survived at all."
There was a car following me as I got onto the access road that led up a mountain to Micah's House.
It was too close.
It wasn't just on the same road as me, it was following me.
I tried to go a little faster. I tried to ignore it. But it was still there.
I looked in my rearview mirror as the car behind me crept even closer and realized that it was Daniel behind the wheel. He was glaring at me and even at that distance, I could see that his eyes were dark and emotionless, as if there was nothing behind them but hatred. He pulled up closer behind until I couldn't even see the front of his car. I worried that he was going to ram me, and I pressed down on the gas a little more. I didn't want to go too fast. I knew from personal experience just how treacherous this road could be, and I knew that it got more dangerous, narrower and curvier, the higher it went on the mountain.
Going faster could just put me in more danger. Going faster would mean that I wouldn't be able to control the car if he did get close enough to hit me. But going faster could also mean that I could get away from him. It could also mean that I might have the opportunity to find my way to Micah's house and into the safety of the lodge and his arms before Daniel could get to me.
All of the fear that I had pushed away since I had been standing on the steps in my parents’ house, looking down at him, suddenly surged back. He knew now that he was never going to get his way. He knew now that I had moved on with my life that he wasn't going to be able to manipulate his way back. For all of those years he had been the center of my life, whether I wanted him to be or not. He knew that he had strategically and carefully manipulated me until I had nothing else, until I was fully isolated from everything and everyone so there was nothing else to keep me distracted from him. He knew that, in all that time that we were apart, I had almost nothing and that made it easier for him to convince me to take him back. That wasn't the way that it was anymore. I had Micah now. I had a life. And I wasn't going to give it up for him.
Though as I glanced back through the rearview mirror at him again, the fear coursed through me and I realized that he didn't want me to give up my life for him. He wanted to take it from me.
The closer that we got to Micah's House, the more I thought about Daniel and his motivations. I didn't understand why he would be following me, but then it occurred to me that it wasn't just me he wanted to get to. He would probably be satisfied with destroying me, but if he could also take down the man who had led to his humiliation, he would gladly do that as well. I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't lead him directly to Micah, knowing how much danger I would be putting the man I loved in.
I watch the road in front of me carefully, looking out for the specific milestones that I wanted to find. Finally, I saw them, and I knew that just up ahead would be the tree. I didn't know if the team had been working on it and had cleared more of it away. I hoped that they hadn't. I needed there to still be part of the tree there. I came around the bend and my heart lifted slightly when I saw that the majority of the mass of tree was still laying across the road. The section that had been removed to allow clear passage didn't seem any bigger, which was perfect. I pressed on the gas so that I shot ahead and into the passage. As soon as I did, I took my foot off the gas and turned the wheel so that my car slid around to come across the road. It was an incredibly risky move. If I had done it wrong I would have gone tumbling down the mountain. When the car finally settled, and I realized that it had worked out exactly as I had intended it to, I let out a breath and quickly fought my way out of my seat belt. I scrambled out of the car and started up the ridge.
The way that my car was positioned now meant that Daniel wouldn't be able to get through and up the access road. If he wanted to chase me, he was going to have to do it on foot. I could hear the explosive sound of Daniel slamming his car door, but I was already most of the way up the ridge. There was another incredibly loud sound and then a sharper sound beside me. I screamed as I realized that he had just shot at me. I forced myself up the rocks faster, trying to remember the way that Micah had led me. I wasn't wearing the right clothes. I hadn't taken the time to put on all of the layers that I should have. But I was wearing boots and they gripped just enough to get me up and over and soon I was running through the trees. I looked down as I ran, trying to find footsteps that would guide me up to the lodge. The cold temperatures had ensured that the snow hasn't melted, and I was able to find a track that it only been partially obliterated by animals. I followed it, pushing myself through the snow drift as fast as I possibly could. I could hear Daniel chasing behind me, he occasionally screamed my name and there was a tone in it, something new and terrifying, that shot through my heart and made it difficult to breathe.
I followed the footsteps for several hundred yards, and then I veered off. If I had continued to follow those footsteps it would have led directly to the lodge, and directly to Micah. I didn't know where I was going as I continued to run through the trees, but I knew that I was putting distance between myself and the house. That was putting distance between Daniel and the house. I would figure something out, but all I cared about was that I could keep that gun away from Micah.
"You're never going to get away from me, Charlotte" Daniel shoute
d from behind me. "You've tried your whole life to get away from me and you never have. You never will."
I heard another shot and I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. I glanced over my shoulder and couldn't see him, and realized that meant that he couldn't see me. He was taunting me, trying to get me to say something so that he would be able to find my location. If I could stay quiet and continue to the trees there was a possibility that I could lose him and then backtrack and find my way to the lodge again. I knew that the air up here was frigidly cold, but I didn't feel it. There was too much adrenaline and fire in my blood, pumping through my body, for me to feel anything but the urge to run.
I took a sharp turn and quickly realized that it was the wrong move. Daniel was yards ahead of me and he turned just in time to see me before I ducked behind a tree. Another bullet whizzed past me and I shot out from behind the tree, continuing to run.
A sudden thought occurred to me and I took a moment to try to orient myself. I remembered the day that I had spent out on the property with Micah and the emergency shelter that he had shown me. This is one of the most important features of the house that he had designed, he told me. He had made sure that that shelter was designed to withstand virtually anything. It would keep him safe from any type of severe weather, earthquakes, even a wildfire. It had enough supplies in it to support him and Scout for over a month. The most important thing about it, however, was that it had a thick heat and pressure resistant door on the outside and a tunnel that led to the lodge on the inside. If I could get to that emergency shelter and get inside, I would be able to lock the door and prevent Daniel from getting to me. Then I could go through the tunnel to the lodge. Even if the door to the tunnel was locked, I knew that there was an emergency phone down there and I would be able to call Micah.
I felt confident that I had figured out the way to get to the shelter and I ran as hard as I could. My legs had begun to burn, and I felt that my muscles were beginning to give out on me. I was having trouble drawing enough air into my lungs and my head was starting to swim. It felt like I was crying, but my tears were freezing on my cheeks. Suddenly I felt something hard hit me in the back of the head and I cried out as I fell forward onto my hands and knees. I looked to the side and saw a small rock sitting in the snow. I turned over and looked up just in time to see Daniel appear over me. He had been holding the gun to his side but now he lifted it up and pointed it directly at me. There was a maniacal smile on his face and I barely even recognized him. I wondered how many times I had fed into this. How many times had I contributed to the monster that was growing inside him. The sound of Micah's voice reverberated through my mind.
