by Cao Xueqin
"I've truly not had a hearty laugh the last few days," old lady Chia smiled, "but thanks to the funny things she recounted just now, I've managed to get in somewhat better spirits in here. So I'll have another cup of wine." Then having drunk her wine, "Pao-yü," she went on to say, "come and present a cup to your sister-in-law!"
Lady Feng gave a smile. "There's no use for him to give me any wine," she ventured. "(I'll drink out of your cup,) so as to bring upon myself your longevity, venerable ancestor."
While uttering this response, she raised dowager lady Chia's cup to her lips, and drained the remaining half of the contents; after which, she handed the cup to a waiting-maid, who took one from those which had been rinsed with tepid water, and brought it to her. But in due course, the cups from the various tables were cleared, and clean ones, washed in warm water, were substituted; and when fresh wine had been served round, (lady Feng and the maid) resumed their seats.
"Venerable lady," a singing-girl put in, "you don't like the stories we tell; but may we thrum a song for you?"
"You two," remarked old lady Chia, "had better play a duet of the 'Chiang Chün ling' song: 'the general's command.'"
Hearing her wishes, the two girls promptly tuned their cords, to suit the pitch of the song, and struck up on their guitars.
"What watch of the night is it?" old lady Chia at this point inquired.
"It's the third watch," the matrons replied with alacrity.
"No wonder it has got so chilly and damp!" old lady Chia added.
Extra clothes were accordingly soon fetched by the servants and maids.
Madame Wang speedily rose to her feet and forced a smile. "Venerable senior," she said, "wouldn't it be prudent for you to move on to the stove couch in the winter apartments? It would be as well. These two relatives are no strangers. And if we entertain them, it will he all right."
"Well, in that case," dowager lady Chia smilingly rejoined, "why shouldn't the whole company adjourn inside? Wouldn't it be warmer for us all?"
"I'm afraid there isn't enough sitting room for every one of us," Madame Wang explained.
"I've got a plan," old lady Chia added. "We can now dispense with these tables. All we need are two or three, placed side by side; we can then sit in a group, and by bundling together it will be both sociable as well as warm."
"Yes, this will be nice!" one and all cried.
Assenting, they forthwith rose from table. The married women hastened to remove the debandade of the banquet. Then placing three large tables lengthways side by side in the inner rooms, they went on to properly arrange the fruits and viands, some of which had been replenished, others changed.
"You must none of you stand on any ceremonies!" dowager lady Chia observed. "If you just listen while I allot you your places, and sit down accordingly, it will be all right!"
Continuing, she motioned to Mrs. Hsüeh and 'sister-in-law' Li to take the upper seats on the side of honour, and, making herself comfortable on the west, she bade the three cousins Pao-ch'in, Tai-yü and Hsian-yün sit close to her on the left and on the right. "Pao-yü," she proceeded "you must go next to your mother." So presently she put Pao-yü, and Pao-ch'ai and the rest of the young ladies between Mesdames Hsing and Wang. On the west, she placed, in proper gradation, dame Lou, along with Chia Lan, and Mrs. Yu and Li Wan, with Chia Lan, (number two,) between them. While she assigned a chair to Chia Jung's wife among the lower seats, put crosswise. "Brother Chen," old lady Chia cried, "take your cousins and be off! I'm also going to sleep in a little time."
Chia Chen and his associates speedily expressed their obedience, and made, in a body, their appearance inside again to listen to any injunctions she might have to give them.
"Bundle yourself away at once!" shouted dowager lady Chia. "You needn't come in. We've just sat down, and you'll make us get up again. Go and rest; be quick! To-morrow, there are to be some more grand doings!" Chia Chen assented with alacrity. "But Jung Erh should remain to replenish the cups," he smiled; "it's only fair that he should."
"Quite so!" answered old lady Chia laughingly. "I forgot all about him."
"Yes!" acquiesced Chia Chen. Then twisting himself round, he led Chia Lien and his companions out of the apartment.
(Chia Chen and Chia Lien) were, of course, both pleased at being able to get away. So bidding the servants see Chia Tsung and Chia Huang to their respective homes, (Chia Chen) arranged with Chia Lien to go in pursuit of pleasure and in quest of fun. But we will now leave them to their own devices without another word.
"I was just thinking," meanwhile dowager lady Chia laughed, "that it would be well, although you people are numerous enough to enjoy yourselves, to have a couple of great-grandchildren present at this banquet, so Jung Erh now makes the full complement. But Jung Erh sit near your wife, for she and you will then make the pair complete."
The wife of a domestic thereupon presented a play-bill.
"We, ladies," old lady Chia demurred, "are now chatting in high glee, and are about to start a romp. Those young folks have, also, been sitting up so far into the night that they must be quite cold, so let the plays alone. Tell them then to have a rest. Yet call our own girls to come and sing a couple of plays on this stage. They too will thus have a chance of watching us a bit."
After lending an ear to her, the married women assented and quitted the room. And immediately finding some servant to go to the garden of Broad Vista and summon the girls, they betook themselves, at the same time, as far as the second gate and called a few pages to wait on them.
The pages went with hurried step to the rooms reserved for the players, and taking with them the various grown-up members of the company, they only left the more youthful behind. Then fetching, in a little time, Wen Kuan and a few other girls, twelve in all, from among the novices in the Pear Fragrance court, they egressed by the corner gate leading out of the covered passage. The matrons took soft bundles in their arms, as their strength was not equal to carrying boxes. And under the conviction that their old mistress would prefer plays of three or five acts, they had put together the necessary theatrical costumes.
After Wen Kuan and the rest of the girls had been introduced into the room by the matrons, they paid their obeisance, and, dropping their arms against their sides, they stood reverentially.
"In this propitious first moon," old lady Chia smiled, "won't your teacher let you come out for a stroll? What are you singing now? The eight acts of the 'Eight worthies' recently sung here were so noisy, that they made my head ache; so you'd better let us have something more quiet. You must however bear in mind that Mrs. Hsüeh and Mrs. Li are both people, who give theatricals, and have heard I don't know how many fine plays. The young ladies here have seen better plays than our own girls; and they have heard more beautiful songs than they. These actresses, you see here now, formed once, despite their youth, part of a company belonging to renowned families, fond of plays; and though mere children, they excel any troupe composed of grown-up persons. So whatever we do, don't let us say anything disparaging about them. But we must now have something new. Tell Fang Kuan to sing us the 'Hsün Meng' ballad; and let only flutes and Pandean pipes be used. The other instruments can be dispensed with."
"Your venerable ladyship is quite right," Wen Kuan smiled. "Our acting couldn't, certainly, suit the taste of such people as Mrs. Hsüeh, Mrs. Li and the young ladies. Nevertheless, let them merely heed our enunciation, and listen to our voices; that's all."
"Well said!" dowager lady Chia laughed.
'Sister-in-law' Li and Mrs. Hsüeh were filled with delight. "What a sharp girl!" they remarked smilingly. "But do you also try to imitate our old lady by pulling our leg?"
"They're intended to afford us some ready-at-hand recreation," old lady Chia smiled. "Besides, they don't go out to earn money. That's how it is they are not so much up to the times." At the close of this remark, she also desired K'uei Kuan to sing the play: 'Hui Ming sends a letter.' "You needn't," she added, "make your face up. Just sing
this couple of plays so as to merely let both those ladies hear a kind of parody of them. But if you spare yourselves the least exertion, I shall be unhappy."
When they heard this, Wen Kuan and her companions left the apartment and promptly apparelled themselves and mounted the stage. First in order, was sung the 'Hsün Meng;' next, '(Hui Ming) sends a letter;' during which, everybody observed such perfect silence that not so much as the caw of a crow fell on the ear.
"I've verily seen several hundreds of companies," Mrs. Hsüeh smiled, "but never have I come across any that confined themselves to flutes."
"There are some," dowager lady Chia answered. "In fact, in that play acted just now called: 'Love in the western tower at Ch'u Ch'iang,' there's a good deal sung by young actors in unison with the flutes. But lengthy unison pieces of this description are indeed few. This too, however, is purely a matter of taste; there's nothing out of the way about it. When I was of her age," resuming, she pointed at Hsiang-yün, "her grandfather kept a troupe of young actresses. There was among them one, who played the lute so efficiently that she performed the part when the lute is heard in the 'Hsi Hsiang Chi,' the piece on the lute in the 'Yü Ts'an Chi,' and that in the supplementary 'P'i Pa Chi,' on the Mongol flageolet with the eighteen notes, in every way as if she had been placed in the real circumstances herself. Yea, far better than this!"
"This is still rarer a thing!" the inmates exclaimed.
Old lady Chia then shortly called the married women, and bade them tell Wen Kúan and the other girls to use both wind and string instruments and render the piece; 'At the feast of lanterns, the moon is round.'
The women servants received her orders and went to execute them. Chia Jung and his wife meanwhile passed the wine round.
When lady Feng saw dowager lady Chia in most exuberant spirits, she smiled. "Won't it be nice," she said, "to avail ourselves of the presence of the singing girls to pass plum blossom round and have the game of forfeits: 'Spring-happy eyebrow-corners-go-up,' eh?"
"That's a fine game of forfeits!" Old lady Chia cried, with a smile. "It just suits the time of the year."
Orders were therefore given at once to fetch a forfeit drum, varnished black, and ornamented with designs executed with copper tacks. When brought, it was handed to the singing girls to put on the table and rap on it. A twig of red plum blossom was then obtained. "The one in whose hand it is when the drum stops," dowager lady Chia laughingly proposed, "will have to drink a cup of wine, and to say something or other as well."
"I'll tell you what," lady Feng interposed with a smile. "Who of us can pit herself against you, dear ancestor, who have ever ready at hand whatever you want to say? With the little use we are in this line, won't there be an absolute lack of fun in our contributions? My idea is that it would be nicer were something said that could be appreciated both by the refined as well as the unrefined. So won't it be preferable that the person, in whose hands the twig remains, when the drum stops, should crack some joke or other?"
Every one, who heard her, was fully aware what a good hand she had always been at witty things, and how she, more than any other, had an inexhaustible supply of novel and amusing rules of forfeits, ever stocked in her mind, so her suggestion not only gratified the various inmates of the family seated at the banquet, but even filled the whole posse of servants, both old and young, who stood in attendance below, with intense delight. The young waiting-maids rushed with eagerness in search of the young ladies and told them to come and listen to their lady Secunda, who was on the point again of saying funny things. A whole crowd of servant-girls anxiously pressed inside and crammed the room. In a little time, the theatricals were brought to a close, and the music was stopped. Dowager lady Chia had some soup, fine cakes and fruits handed to Wen Kuan and her companions to regale themselves with, and then gave orders to sound the drum. The singing-girls were both experts, so now they beat fast; and now slow. Either slow like the dripping of the remnants of water in a clepsydra. Or quick, as when beans are being sown. Or with the velocity of the pace of a scared horse, or that of the flash of a swift lightning. The sound of the drum came to a standstill abruptly. The twig of plum blossom had just reached old lady Chia, when by a strange coincidence, the rattle ceased. Every one blurted out into a boisterous fit of laughter. Chia Jung hastily approached and filled a cup. "It's only natural," they laughingly cried, "that you venerable senior, should be the first to get exhilarated; for then, thanks to you, we shall also come in for some measure of good cheer."
"To gulp down this wine is an easy job," dowager lady smiled, "but to crack jokes is somewhat difficult."
"Your jokes, dear ancestor, are even wittier than those of lady Feng," the party shouted, "so favour us with one, and let's have a laugh!"
"I've nothing out of the way to evoke laughter with," old lady Chia smilingly answered. "Yet all that remains for me to do is to thicken the skin of my antiquated phiz and come out with some joke. In a certain family," she consequently went on to narrate, "there were ten sons; these married ten wives. The tenth of these wives was, however, so intelligent, sharp, quick of mind, and glib of tongue, that her father and mother-in-law loved her best of all, and maintained from morning to night that the other nine were not filial. These nine felt much aggrieved and they accordingly took counsel together. 'We nine,' they said, 'are filial enough at heart; the only thing is that that shrew has the gift of the gab. That's why our father and mother-in-law think her so perfect. But to whom can we go and confide our grievance?' One of them was struck with an idea. 'Let's go to-morrow,' she proposed, 'to the temple of the King of Hell and burn incense. We can then tell the King our grudge and ask him how it was that, when he bade us receive life and become human beings, he only conferred a glib tongue on that vixen and that we were only allotted such blunt mouths?' The eight listened to her plan, and were quite enraptured with it. 'This proposal is faultless!' they assented. On the next day, they sped in a body to the temple of the God of Hell, and after burning incense, the nine sisters-in-law slept under the altar, on which their offerings were laid. Their nine spirits waited with the special purpose of seeing the carriage of the King of Hell arrive; but they waited and waited, and yet he did not come. They were just giving way to despair when they espied Sun Hsing-che, (the god of monkeys), advancing on a rolling cloud. He espied the nine spirits, and felt inclined to take a golden rod and beat them. The nine spirits were plunged in terror. Hastily they fell on their knees, and pleaded for mercy."
"'What are you up to?' Sun Hsing-che inquired."
"The nine women, with alacrity, told him all."
"After Sun Hsing-che had listened to their confidences, he stamped his foot and heaved a sigh. 'Is that the case?' he asked. 'Well, it's lucky enough you came across me, for had you waited for the God of Hell, he wouldn't have known anything about it.'"
"At these assurances, the nine women gave way to entreaties. 'Great saint,' they pleaded, 'if you were to display some commiseration, we would be all right.'"
"Sun Hsing-che smiled. 'There's no difficulty in the way,' he observed. 'On the day on which you ten sisters-in-law came to life, I was, as luck would have it, on a visit to the King of Hell's place. So I (saw) him do something on the ground, and the junior sister-of-law of yours lap it up. But if you now wish to become smart and sharp-tongued, the remedy lies in water. If I too were therefore to do something, and you to drink it, the desired effect will be attained.'"
At the close of her story, the company roared with laughter.
"Splendid!" shouted lady Feng. "But luckily we're all slow of tongue and dull of intellect, otherwise, we too must have had the water of monkeys to drink."
"Who among us here," Mrs. Yu and dame Lou smilingly remarked, addressing themselves to Li Wan, "has tasted any monkey's water. So don't sham ignorance of things!"
"A joke must hit the point to be amusing," Mrs. Hsüeh ventured.
But while she spoke, (the girls) began again to beat the drum. The young maids were keen to hear lad
y Feng's jokes. They therefore explained to the singing girls, in a confidential tone, that a cough would be the given signal (for them to desist). In no time (the blossom) was handed round on both sides. As soon as it came to lady Feng, the young maids purposely gave a cough. The singing-girl at once stopped short. "Now we've caught her!" shouted the party laughingly; "drink your wine, be quick! And mind you tell something nice! But don't make us laugh so heartily as to get stomachaches."
Lady Feng was lost in thought. Presently, she began with a smile. "A certain household," she said, "was celebrating the first moon festival. The entire family was enjoying the sight of the lanterns, and drinking their wine. In real truth unusual excitement prevailed. There were great grandmothers, grandmothers, daughters-in-law, grandsons' wives, great grandsons, granddaughters, granddaughters-in-law, aunts' granddaughters, cousins' granddaughters; and ai-yo-yo, there was verily such a bustle and confusion!"
While minding her story, they laughed. "Listen to all this mean mouth says!" they cried. "We wonder what other ramifications she won't introduce!"
"If you want to bully me," Mrs. Yu smiled, "I'll tear that mouth of yours to pieces."
Lady Feng rose to her feet and clapped her hands.
"One does all one can to rack one's brain," she smiled, "and here you combine to do your utmost to confuse me! Well, if it is so, I won't go on."
"Proceed with your story," old lady Chia exclaimed with a smile. "What comes afterwards?"
Lady Feng thought for a while. "Well, after that," she continued laughingly, "they all sat together and crammed the whole room. They primed themselves with wine throughout the hours of night and then they broke up."
The various inmates noticed in what a serious and sedate manner she narrated her story, and none ventured to pass any further remarks, but waited anxiously for her to go on, when they became aware that she coldly and drily came to a stop.
