He refused to look at her, so Faye kept talking. “I don't know what's bothering you if you don't tell me. I'm not a mind reader. Let me in, so I can help. Maybe I can do something . . . whatever it is.”
He turned to look at her and finally sighed. Faye looked into his eyes that were suspiciously red and watery and felt her own eyes water. “What's wrong, Colin?”
He sat up, took a deep breath, and said hoarsely, “I want an Emma.”
“Huh?” Faye was confused.
Colin clenched his fists, beyond frustrated with the whole situation. “I want to have children with you, Faye. Do you want that?”
With a heavy heart, Faye realized where the conversation was going and felt stupid she hadn't realized sooner. “Yes,” she answered quietly, “I want that, Colin, just as much as you do.”
She felt her bottom lip tremble as he replied, “But I can't give you that. We can't have a little mini you or mini me. If we do that, the youngest boy is going to wind up just like me.”
“We could have girls only,” Faye said hesitantly.
“You know you can't just pick and choose what you want to have, Faye. That's not how it works. And my family is full of boys. It was a miracle Caterina was even born.”
Faye clutched a pillow to her chest for comfort.
“You'd be better off with Justin,” Colin muttered. “He could give you children.”
Faye felt bile rise up in her throat. “What?” Her voice was shrill. “Where the hell did that come from?”
She looked at him, aghast, as he refused to make eye contact with her.
“You three looked like a happy little family earlier,” he spat venomously. “You'd be happier with him.”
Faye couldn't help but stare at him with her mouth hanging open. Then she felt the sudden rise of hysteria. She burst out laughing and lunged across the bed. She grabbed Colin for a hug, refusing to let go when he tried to pry away from her with an angry growl.
“What about this situation is funny?”
“Oh, you silly jealous goose,” murmured Faye, sliding into his lap and holding him close. “You really think I'd be happier with your brother? I mean, the very idea makes me want to throw up, Colin. That's just weird. I love you, you dummy. Not your brother. And you know what? If we have a boy, we will get through it. Maybe the witch will be dead by then. Who knows?”
Against his better judgement, Colin grasped her hips, tugged her closer, and leaned his head on her shoulder. “I just want you all to myself,” he grumbled.
“You big baby.” She giggled, relieved.
He only held her tighter in response and said, “So I guess I better get used to the idea of my brother living with us.”
“Nope,” answered Faye. “He and Emma are going to move to their own place about two weeks from now.”
“Good,” snorted Colin. “I don't like sharing.”
Faye only slapped his chest, annoyed. “Wow,” she muttered as she started to get up.
He tugged her back and laid them. They faced each other, her small body caged by his larger one. “No, I want to hold you.”
“Oh, so now you feel like showing me some love and affection? What about the last several days?”
Colin closed his eyes and smiled sheepishly before turning serious again. “I won't have children until we find a way to break the curse,” he said softly.
“We'll see about that,” said Faye matter-of-factly.
“I won't put my son through what I had to go through, Faye. Please don't ask me to.”
Faye's resolve faltered at the determined look in his eyes. He really meant what he said. Didn't he realize that she would never turn their son out the way his family had done him? They could get through anything. Together, they were invincible. They would find a way.
They had to.
CHAPTER thirty-six
The late evening sun shone down on the top of Faye's curly head, making her hair appear like spun gold. It was early spring. Colin watched as she climbed up several boulders to stand on the top with her arms spread out wide. She had a huge grin on her face. Her hiking boots were muddy, and her jeans had stains on them, but she had never looked more perfect. Her hair was windblown. There was a streak of brown dirt on her face, but her eyes shone brighter than the sun, and her smile made Colin's heart twist in his chest.
“I'm the queen of the world!” she shrieked, laughing when it echoed off of the mountains.
After so many cold months indoors, both Colin and Faye were anxious to get out of the cabin to do something. So Hatcher's Pass it was as soon as the first clear day appeared. Not many others had ventured out yet. It was still frigidly cold out. There were no other humans in sight other than their little group.
With a running jump, Colin vaulted up beside her. He was full of laughter, and Justin just shook his head at them. He tossed Emma to Colin's waiting arms when she demanded to get up. He then climbed up himself with a huge grin stretching his lips wide. He sat down, hang his legs over the edge of the rock, laid back, and closed his eyes.
Heidi and Reggie sat several yards away on a large blanket. Heidi was taking pictures of everybody while Reggie attempted to nap.
Emma giggled and clambered on top of Justin, snuggling into his neck and sighing happily.
Colin looked around at his family and swore if his heart swelled another inch, it would burst right out of his chest. A few minutes later, Justin and Emma climbed down and headed back to the picnic blanket. Faye laughed as Emma tackled Reggie, startling the man. He grabbed her tightly and began to tickle her while she shrieked for help.
Justin proceeded to aggravate Heidi, digging back into the picnic basket in search of more food.
Colin turned his attention back to Faye to find her already watching him with a smile.
Giggling mischievously, she grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the other side of the boulder where no one could see them. Then she turned and practically jumped him, her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms around his neck. He laughed at her then, his eyes so golden in the sunlight they actually glowed.
Faye clung to him like a monkey. She was ecstatic to hear him laugh. She pulled away, enough to see his face, and palmed his cheeks with her cold hands. “Are you happy?” she asked suddenly.
His eyes clouded with confusion. “Happy?” he echoed.
“Yeah.”
He set her down, his hands grabbing hers and holding them captive. “Faye, you have given me everything,” he said, bewildered. “Why wouldn't I be happy?”
Faye floundered for words. She had simply expected a 'yes' or 'no' from him.
He brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Thanks to you, Faye,” he continued, “I'm not wild anymore. I have a beautiful woman sharing a bed with me every night. And I have a family again. Don't you get it? That's all you!”
Faye felt her eyes sting with tears. “So you're happy, right?”
Colin laughed and shook his head at her. “That's what I've been telling you for the past five minutes.” He raised one eyebrow at her. “Yes, I'm happy.”
She grinned. “Good.”
***
Hours later, Faye pulled in her driveway, shaking her head exasperatedly at the figure sitting on her front porch, buck-ass naked. Colin's chuckles filled the car. She pulled into the garage and got out of the car leisurely. “Nikolai,” she yelled and waited for Colin to shut the garage door behind the car. “Nice to see you!”
“Faye,” he called, his voice shaking from the cold. “Would you kindly unlock the door please?”
He had commandeered a blanket that had been covering her plants on the porch and had it clutched around his waist in a white-knuckled grip. His skin was beginning to take on an unhealthily bluish hue. Faye planted her hands on her hips. “Why didn't you bring clothes again?”
Nikolai gritted his teeth at the amusement on both Colin and Faye's faces. “Fayeee,” he whined.
Faye tapped her foot, pretending to consider, as Colin
wrapped his arms around her, grinning smugly at Nikolai who narrowed his eyes at the pair.
“You've really got to stop showing up on my front step butt naked,” she reprimanded, smiling at him.
“Can we please discuss this inside where my balls can thaw out?” pleaded Nikolai, his teeth chattering.
Faye relented, letting him inside and watching as he practically sprinted to her old room where he had left clothes on several previous occasions. He had a bad habit of traveling in his fur and then changing on arrival. As economic as his plan was, if Faye or Colin weren't home, he risked freezing to death while waiting for them to return.
Faye was shedding her coat and stepping out of her muddy boots when he wandered back into the living room, still shivering in just sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt. “Colin, could you stoke up the fire so our guest won't catch pneumonia to go along with his raging case of idiocy?”
Nikolai looked affronted but made no comment as Colin slapped him on the back good-naturedly on his way to the fireplace. Faye moved to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and turned the supper on to heat up. She had about a quart of leftover beef stew that should feed all of them. She could stretch it with a skillet of bread and a dessert.
“Sit,” she ordered Nikolai, pointing to the couch in front of the crackling fire Colin had started.
“Don't order me around,” he grumbled, but he still sat down anyway.
She quickly wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and nodded to Colin who came out of the bedroom with a pair of socks in his hand. He tossed it at Nikolai. Silence invaded the cabin for several minutes as Faye moved in and out of the kitchen, setting the table.
“I have good news,” Nikolai announced suddenly.
Faye and Colin turned to him expectantly.
“I can feel my balls again.”
“That is not news I needed to know,” muttered Faye disgustedly.
Colin sat down on the armchair across Nikolai, and the two began to converse as Faye looked on happily. Their family was a bit strange, but it worked despite Nikolai's unorthodox methods. He regularly showed up for supper and had even stayed the night several times.
He was lonely. Faye could see it in his eyes. His humor was a sort of band-aid he slapped over everything, but Faye wasn't stupid. He craved warmth and companionship. Faye and Colin were both happy to extend their family to include him.
After supper, they lounged in the living room for talk and laughter .
Nikolai then turned seriously to Colin. “I got them,” he said quietly.
Faye looked between the two, confused. Colin appeared confused too for a moment before understanding sparked in his eyes. “Really?” he asked.
Nikolai smiled, pulling a small packet of papers out of his shirt and handing it to Colin.
“What is it, babe?” asked Faye.
Colin hurriedly sifted through the papers before lunging at Nikolai and tackling him to the floor, laughing joyously.
“What on earth?” Faye chuckled.
Colin jumped up, grabbed the papers, and shoved them into her hands excitedly. “Look,” he demanded.
Faye pulled out a driver's license and a passport with Colin's name at the top, along with several other miscellaneous odds and ends. “How on earth did you get these?” she gasped and stared at Nikolai who was fussing with his hair that Colin had ruffled. A fake ID was one thing, but these papers were another whole level of intense.
Nikolai looked smug. “I have my ways,” he grinned, sprawling out on the couch again.
“Do you know what this means?” questioned Colin, grabbing Faye's arms excitedly. “I can drive now, and I can access my bank accounts again.”
“Bank accounts,” gasped Faye. “What?”
Colin whooped, picked Faye up, and spun her around.
Nikolai watched them in amusement. “Your Wolfie is a self-made millionaire,” he informed. “He hasn't told you?”
“No.” Faye felt dizzy.
Colin set her down, his smile so big it threatened to split his face wide open.
“I think I need a moment,” said Faye shakily, sinking down in the armchair and staring at Colin's identity in her hands.
She held up the passport. “What's this for?”
Colin grinned again, looking down at her and then sinking to his knees in front of her.
“That, my love, is for our honeymoon.”
Faye felt her jaw drop as she froze. Did he really say 'honeymoon'? Or were her ears playing tricks on her? Nikolai took one look at her face and burst out laughing, beating the couch with his fist. Colin proceeded to look through the rest of his papers, a small grin still gracing his face. Faye gulped. She tried to speak but no words would come out. She looked like a fish taken out of water.
Colin sat down on the floor, laid the papers out, and looked at each of them carefully, perusing them for any errors or inconsistencies. His new existence relied on the papers being as accurate as possible.
“Honeymoon?” Faye finally managed to ask, her voice sounding incredibly weak to her own ears. Her entire body was tense as she waited for his answer.
“Of course,” answered Colin confidently, looking up at her. “For after we get married. That's how humans do it.”
Nikolai had tears rolling down his face, his laughter resembling a hyena baying. Colin looked at him confused for a moment before shaking his head at the man's hysteria.
“Married?” Faye was proud that her voice was a bit more stable now.
“Yes,” said Colin, “but I have to do this thing called 'proposing' first. So get ready. I'm going to make it special.”
Nikolai was positively howling, falling over on the sofa and clutching his stomach. Colin looked at him, irritated. “Nik, shut up,” he growled. “You're giving me a headache.”
“Oh, for the love of everything holy,” muttered Faye, getting up and striding to the kitchen. Her legs could barely hold her; they were trembling so much.
Marriage
That was the real-deal, make-it-forever kind of thing to her. She only planned to marry once if she could help it. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she hadn't ever thought about it before. And why not? Colin was hers and she was his. So why on earth was the next plausible step, according to humans, as Colin so eloquently said, scaring the living daylights out of her?
Colin stacked the papers, sliding them back in the envelope before looking at Nikolai. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked confusedly.
***
Several hours later, Colin crawled cautiously into bed next to Faye, sliding his large body under the blue sheets and sinking into the soft bed. His back popped when he lay down, and he winced at the noise. Faye lay with her back to him, and her steady breathing told him she was asleep. He reached out and touched her hair, sliding his hand through the silky blonde strands.
“I'm sorry,” he whispered, “I messed everything up again.”
He frowned, frustrated with his inabilities and his flaws. He continued to talk to her back in whispers, slowly moving closer to her until he was cuddling her small warm body to his, his arm draped over her middle and his nose resting in her hair. He closed his eyes.
“It's so different than it was back when I first went feral,” he said quietly and gruffly. “I want to marry you, Faye. I know humans normally marry first before intercourse, and I want to do that. I want to honor you like that.”
He paused for a moment, his voice troubled. “But I don't know. I guess if you want to marry me, I should have asked. That’s what Nik said. I shouldn’t have just said that.”
He pressed a kiss to the back of her head and got surprised when she rolled over and reached up to tangle her hands in his hair. Her eyes were hazy with sleep. “Did I wake you?” he asked.
She shrugged and smiled sleepily. “Glad you did,” she said, snuggling into him further.
He took a deep breath. “Did you hear what I said?”
She nodded against his chest an
d his grip tightened on her. “You didn't mess anything up,” she said softly. “I was just surprised. Marriage is a big deal to me. It's important, especially since my mother left my dad so long ago. I want to only marry once and stay with that man for the rest of my life.
“I meant it, Faye,” he said earnestly. “I want to marry you. And have children with you. And live with you beside me forever.”
She looked up at him. “I'd love that.” She smiled softly.
“But we don't have to wait until marriage, for, you know, that,” she blushed, her nose wrinkling up.
He shrugged. “I've waited this long to have intercourse; I can wait a little while longer.”
Faye's eyes flew wide open in shock. “Wait,” she blinked rapidly, sitting up. “You're a virgin?”
He laced his hands behind his head. “Yes,” he answered. “Why?”
Faye giggled. “You're like the oldest virgin on earth, you-500-year-old man.”
“I am not that old.” Colin raised one eyebrow at her in disdain.
Faye couldn't stop laughing. “Hollywood could write a great movie about you.” She shook her head, turning and pulling her legs under her in a criss-cross.
She was wide-awake now. She picked at the comforter, pulling it tight around her waist. “So I've been wondering about this 'forever' stuff,” she mused quietly. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
“Shifters only mate with the chosen one,” answered Colin, his eyes drifting close. “Once Promises meet and mate, their lives are tied together for eternity. You will live as long as I do.”
“But then,” began Faye, confused. “What about your mom?”
“She is a shifter,” said Colin. “You aren't and never will be. Our future children will be shifters because the shifter gene is stronger than the human gene.”
“Got it.”
Faye lay down beside him again and absently tugged on his arm hairs as she thought about the information, her eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling. His hand grasped hers, pulling it away from his arm, and she turned to look at him, startled.
Under An Alaskan Moon: A Shifter Romance Page 15
