by Amy Andrews
Which was a lie. He got in at two forty-six, his arm coming around her as he spooned into her and kissed her neck and she’d wanted nothing more than to turn in his embrace and get lost in him. The same as this morning when she’d woken. They hadn’t had sex since just before the fire and she wanted him so fiercely. But more than that, she’d wanted to disappear inside him for a while. Hold him for a bit longer. Create a send-off to be remembered.
But it had felt dishonest when she knew her intention was to leave—when the flight was booked and her bag was packed—and she hadn’t told him yet. If, after she told him, he wanted to take her back to bed and make her call his name all damn day, she’d be totally up for that but she owed him the truth first.
“How was it?” she asked, seeing the faint lines of tiredness etched around his eyes. It couldn’t have been good to have been out till past two.
He grimaced. “A bit of a mess.”
“Fatalities?”
“Two.”
Ugh. Viv shuddered. How dreadful for the victims and their families. How awful for first responders. She slid her hand across the couch and touched his fingertips. “Sorry.”
He shrugged as he linked his fingers through hers. “All part of the job.”
Yeah. But still, seeing that kind of stuff couldn’t be easy. “You want me to cook you some breakfast?”
“Nah.” He smiled and shook his head. “What I want is to get dressed and go into Bozeman with you. We can have the day there and I’ve booked us into that hotel where we first met. I’ve even managed to score the same room. And I want to make you come at precisely midnight so you can hear and see metaphorical fireworks as you scream in the new year.”
He was grinning like crazy now and Viv’s heart squeezed painfully as she dropped her gaze to the laptop, her hair falling forward a little. God, that sounded so good. But…she was expected in Houston. She had a job to do, damn it, and the company relied on her.
This thing between them had always had a shelf life. It was just a little shorter than they’d both expected.
“Okay.” He turned his head to the side and peered around the curtain of her hair to her downcast face, his grin replaced with a playful smile. “That seems less than enthusiastic. We can go to any hotel. I don’t mind which one I make you scream in.”
Viv would have laughed had the lump in her throat allowed for any kind of vocalization. But then he went quiet and his hand slackened in hers and she lifted her head to find him staring at her bag near the front door. “Are you going somewhere?”
Viv swallowed hard against the lump and nodded as she turned her attention to him. Damn it, this was supposed to be easy. Not feel like the entire state of Montana was sitting on her chest. “Houston.”
He didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at the bag as his fingers slid from hers. “Right,” he said eventually and stood, walking to the fire, his hands on his hips, his back to her, flame silhouetting him in a fuzzy orange outline.
“When did you decide this?”
“I didn’t decide.” Which wasn’t exactly true but this was her job. “Delish is sending me there.”
“I see.”
Viv’s heart thudded painfully in her chest. He was obviously not happy. Hell, she wasn’t exactly thrilled about leaving Reuben either. Whether she liked it or not she hadn’t managed to keep this in the box she’d stuffed it into.
Which was why she didn’t do this kind of thing. Damn it—why hadn’t she just left their attraction well enough alone?
“Look…” She stood too and crossed to him, slipping her hands around his waist and pressing her cheek to his shoulder blade. The heat of the fire warmed her arms. “I know we were supposed to spend longer together but, it was always going to end, right? And I’ll be back in a few months, when the store is fitted out again. Maybe we could…pick up where we left off.”
Which was dumb in the extreme but she wasn’t sure she could be in any kind of easy proximity to Reuben and not want to pick up again.
He unhooked her arms and turned, setting her away from him, his face a grim mask, the angle of his jaw blanching white through the cover of his whiskers. “You want to resume fucking, Vivian?”
Viv blinked at his deliberately crude language. He was pissed, she could see that but damn it—that was what they’d been doing. “I thought you liked the fucking.”
She was pretty pissed, too.
He snorted and shook his head, muttering, “Goddamn it,” under his breath as he shoved his hand through his hair and paced to the other side of the room.
She glared at his shoulder blades as he stared into the kitchen, his back to her again. “I thought that’s what we were doing, Reuben. Fucking.”
For the longest time he didn’t say anything and then his shoulders and frame lost their painfully erect form and he turned. “It was. And I swear I wasn’t going to say anything to you, I swear I was going to let you leave but damn it…I’m in love with you.”
All the air in Vivian’s lungs evaporated and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. No. No, no, no. Reuben was in love with her? In love with her. God…that was such a big leap… Sure, they’d grown close but…love?
She remembered Gaylene saying that Reuben had fallen for her and how she’d rejected the very notion.
“You swore to me you wouldn’t do that.”
“I know, I know.” He rubbed his whiskers, looking tired and defeated. “And I’m sorry. But, it just happened.” He shrugged. “I wish I could stop it or take it back but I can’t. I—” He slapped his chest. “Love you, Vivian Catherine Dawson. And whether you love me back or not it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference.”
God…his words reached right inside her and squeezed. This couldn’t be happening. They made rules. She had to be in Houston.
“Reuben.” She took a step toward him but he held up his hand in a stopping motion and she halted. “I can’t…”
“It’s okay.” He gave a half laugh. “I know. But I hope you understand that I can’t just fall back into this—” He gestured between them. “I’ve never been in love before but I don’t think the way to get over you is to keep sleeping with you.”
“God. Reuben…I never wanted this to happen, I never asked you to fall in love with me.” In fact, quite the opposite.
“It’s fine, Vivian. You’re right. You were very clear. I’m not blaming you. I just…can’t do this when you come back in three months. I just can’t.”
She nodded. At least he’d be back in Bozeman by then which would lessen their chances of running into each other. The lump in Vivian’s throat expanded a little more and her chest ached. “Okay.”
She understood but it didn’t stop her wanting to go to him, to hug him and tell him she was sorry. It wasn’t fair to him she knew, but she yearned to feel his arms around her one more time.
“I’m sorry.” She must have looked like she was about to move toward him again and he shook his head pre-emptively, his eyes begging her to stay where she was.
“It’s okay. Just…” He tipped his chin at her bag. “You’re obviously all packed—let’s not drag it out, okay?”
Vivian bit into her bottom lip and sucked in a ragged breath. He was right, everything was ready to just walk out the door. So why didn’t she want to walk out the door?
“Sure.”
There was an awkward pause. “I’m going to take a shower,” he announced. “I guess I might see you around in a few months.”
“Yeah.” Viv nodded.
And then with one last look that gutted her to her core, Reuben strode out of the room.
*
Viv had never been so pleased to see an airport in her entire life. It had been a long day aimlessly wandering around Bozeman, all the time trying not to think about Reuben and his declaration and how her head was telling her to go to Houston but her heart wasn’t sure.
She’d been telling the damn useless thing all day that she’d be back in Marietta in a few months a
nd if it still felt the same way after that time then Viv would reassess the clash of feelings roaring around inside.
But in the meantime she had to go to Houston. The company needed her and she’d never let them down. She wasn’t just going to ditch her career because a guy she happened to like—like—a whole hell of a lot, had told her he loved her.
It was almost time for the flight to board and she was waiting impatiently at the gate. Once it took off, there was nothing more she could do—her fate was sealed. If only her lips and mouth and throat weren’t so dry and her heartbeat wasn’t so loud in her ears as the red electronic digits on the clock stared her down.
Why did it feel like a ticking bomb?
Delving into the bottom of her large holdall for some gum she knew she’d stashed there at some stage, her hand knocked something solid and she pulled it out.
The music box.
Her heart swelled at the sheer beauty of it all over again. Flipping it over she turned the winder at the bottom then righted it, seating it in the palm of her hand, watching the ice-skating couple spin around and around.
And she was back at Miracle Lake with Reuben.
A tear fell from one eye then the other. A choke rose in her throat. Oh crap…this gift. He’d been in love with her when he’d bought it, hadn’t he? It had been bought and given out of love. She could feel the love now, as the couple spun around. The love with which he had bought it and the love within herself that was welling and welling and expanding and taking over everything in her chest, causing pressure everywhere and tears to flow freely now.
She was in love with Reuben Price.
Why hadn’t she seen that? The love in the giving. And her love in the receiving.
God…this complicated everything so much but somehow, it just didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now but being with Reuben.
Contemplating upending her whole life for some guy she liked hadn’t made any sense. But for a guy she loved?
Yeah. Nothing had ever made more sense.
Standing on wobbly legs, she yanked out her cell with her spare hand as she headed for the nearest exit sign. Fast-dialing Reuben, it went straight to his voicemail. Damn it. “Reuben? Reuben? Where are you. I’m coming back, okay? Just hold on, I’m coming back. Ring me when you get this okay?”
Viv started to jog because she had some groveling to do and a confession to make and she wanted that done and over so she could kick the new year off right.
*
Thirty minutes later, Viv alighted from her taxi and was striding into the lobby of that Bozeman hotel where she and Reuben had first met because he still wasn’t answering his phone and her gut was telling her to look here. He had, after all, booked a room for tonight. She wasn’t sure she’d want to torture herself like that but maybe, if he’d wanted to get away from Marietta and be by himself, it’d be a worthwhile option?
If he wasn’t here, she’d get a taxi to Marietta but her gut had told her to try here first.
And, as she stood in the doorway to the bar, her gaze searching for his dirty-blond hair, she spotted him sitting at the bar nursing a beer—just like that first time. Hell, even Mike was here.
Thank you, gut.
Relief hit her with a wave of light-headedness and she sagged against the doorframe. Okay. Deep breath. Now came the groveling. But first…she needed the restroom.
Five minutes later she entered the bar making a beeline for Reuben who didn’t look like he’d moved a muscle. He was still cradling his beer, staring into its depths like the answers to life, the universe and everything lurked in the amber fluid. A few people she knew from Marietta waved at her and when Mike spotted her he smiled.
“Hey, Mike,” she said as she approached, easing into the stool beside Reuben who turned and blinked at her, a frown scrunching his brow, looking at her as if she was a mirage or a figment of his imagination.
He looked like hell, his hair messy from some serious finger-combing, those tired lines from this morning a little deeper, his mouth pinched. But even looking like hell, he looked like the best thing Viv had ever seen and her heart just about burst out of her chest.
“Would you say,” she continued talking to Mike, “it’s okay for me to take this guy back to my hotel room and do dirty, unspeakable things to his body without fear of him chopping me into little pieces and poking them down the drain hole in the bathtub?”
Mike laughed. “Sure. There are still those rumors about his—” He crooked his little finger like he’d done last time.
“Oh, no.” Viv grinned. “I can categorically state they are untrue. Pass it around.”
“Will do,” Mike said and tapped his hand to his forehead in a quick salute.
“Vivian?” Reuben was still frowning, clearly not amused. “What are you doing?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Was I not clear?”
“Vivian.”
Oh crap…he was still pissed. Fair enough. She slid her hand onto his arm and the muscles beneath bunched under her palm as he tensed. She tried not to be discouraged.
“I love you.”
If she thought he’d just melt at her confession, she’d been wrong. If anything he stiffened more and his voice was as cool as the wind blowing off Copper Mountain. “You do, huh?”
“Yes.” She smiled tentatively. “I do. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. But my whole life has been about my career and Delish and I had everything set out and I wasn’t bargaining on you. I wasn’t bargaining on anybody. So I didn’t know how to compute what was happening when all I’ve had to think about forever is my next job.”
Viv drew in a husky breath, wishing her mouth wasn’t so dry as she steamed ahead.
“And then I was sitting in Bozeman airport and my flight was about to be called and I was feeling so damn conflicted about leaving and I’ve never felt conflicted about leaving and I reached into my bag and I pulled out the music box and I wound it up and watched those ice skaters going around and I was back on Miracle Lake and then I was crying and I couldn’t stop because I realized I fell in love with you that day and I’d been blind to it and I was so dumb and I hurt you and I never wanted to do that but I hurt me more for being so blind and dumb and I don’t want to be either anymore.”
He didn’t say anything for a beat or two then a small smile quirked his lips. “Well…that music box was definitely worth every dime.”
Viv laughed at the understatement and his understated delivery and his smile got bigger and the weight started to lift from her shoulders.
“So…what does this mean?” he asked. “What about Houston? Your job?”
“I don’t know how it’s going to work,” Viv admitted. She hadn’t thought that far. “I just know I love you and I don’t want to go to Houston tonight. I’ll work something out with Harriet but right now, I just want to be with you. If you still want to be with me. If I haven’t blown it too much or—”
“Oh my, God, Vivian,” he interrupted and then he kissed her. Once. Twice. Three times. His hands clamped on her face, holding her in place and he tasted like beer and hope and she fell a little harder as he muttered, “I love you,” against her mouth, “and I want to be with you,” and he kissed her again.
Somebody cleared their throat nearby and they broke apart slightly to find Mike leaning on the bar toward them. “I believe you two already know this establishment has rooms for hire right?”
Reuben chuckled and it was so light and warm and delicious, Vivian wanted to lean in and taste it on his mouth. “Already ahead of you, buddy.”
Mike nodded. “Then may I suggest if you don’t want to be on the prayer chain at church on Sunday you’d best avail yourself of it.”
“Brilliant idea,” Reuben said as he slipped off the chair. “See you next year, man,” he said, then laughed at his own joke.
Mike departed and Viv delved into the front pocket of her jeans, removing her scrunched-up underwear and sliding them into Reuben’s palm as he offered her his hand.
He stilled, staring at her for a beat or two. “Are they what I think they are?”
“If you’re thinking my panties, then yes.”
He growled a little under his breath and heat flared everywhere. “Life’s never going to be dull with you is it?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” He kissed her hard and quick. “I can’t wait.”
Then he tugged on her hand and she followed him out of the bar into a whole new year and a whole new life.
Epilogue
March the following year…
Compared to Delish’s first opening day, its re-opening day was an outstanding success. It seemed like the whole of Marietta had come out to rejoice and celebrate. Everyone walked through the door at some point during the day from the mayor all the way through to Sage, which left Robbie, Mackenzie and Viv run off their feet.
Not that any of them cared. They were ecstatic to have customers and the day zipped by with alarming speed. Before any of them knew it, Robbie was flipping over the closed sign.
She sighed as she turned and leaned heavily back against the door. “That was insane,” she said with a laugh.
Mackenzie nodded. “I think if I have to fix another hot chocolate I might just turn into a marshmallow.”
Viv knew how she felt. Delish never usually did hot chocolates outside of December but everyone had been asking after them and there was no way Viv wanted to disappoint anybody on their first day. And besides, with yesterday’s snowfall—hopefully the last for the season—it was still cold enough to appreciate a nice warm beverage.
A knock to the door almost had Robbie hitting the ceiling. “Holy cow,” she muttered as she turned to discover it was Reuben. Shaking her head at him she opened the door. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack, Reuben Price?”
Reuben grinned at Robbie as he took his hat off. “No, ma’am. Apologies.”
Robbie huffed out a breath. “Just as well you’re pretty to look at.”
Viv had to agree. Even after months and months of looking at the man, she still couldn’t get enough of all his big, broad, rangy hotness. Made her pleased every damn day she hadn’t got on that plane to Houston.
