Diana hung up, relieved that Matthew was willing to work on things. This was the man she loved, the one who cared and who tried and who was willing to say he was sorry. If only her ex-husband had been that way.
And Matthew had been shopping. For ideas!
When Diana got home, she dropped off her things and went to Matthew’s house. They went to bed for the night and had sex without any hitches or problems. It only lasted about four minutes, but it was enough and she spent the rest of the night snuggled in Matthew’s arms. And not thinking about Mr. Rabbit.
Or Mr. Bronzed God.
Chapter Five
Manuel stared down at his feet.
“Manuel, look at me.” Manuel looked up, his big dark eyes hesitant to make eye contact with her. “I know it’s been hard with your dad getting laid off. It could take him a long time to find another job, and things might be difficult until then. But you still need to do your homework.”
His shoulders slumped as he looked down again. “I don’t like it. It’s not important. Getting good grades won’t help my dad, or my mom or my sisters.”
Diana nodded. “I know it seems pointless. But it isn’t. If you get bad grades, your dad and mom will worry. They’ll fear that if you do badly in school, you won’t be able to get a good job someday and that you could wind up suffering like they’re suffering. And that just gives them one more thing to worry about.”
“I want to help them.”
“When you’re a little older, you can get a part-time job and help. Until then, do your homework and learn. Because down the road, that hard work could get you a good job with good pay.”
Manuel fiddled with his hands. “I just… I put it off until nighttime. And then I’m too tired.”
“Do it right after school. Even on the bus, if you can. Get it over with. Then, you have all afternoon and evening to have fun or to help your family around the house. I’m sure they would love your help.”
He nodded.
Diana glanced at the time. “Our time is up, Manuel. You can go to third period now.”
Manuel stood and picked up his backpack. “Thank you, Doctor Fiorelli,” he mumbled.
“You’re welcome, Manuel. Have a good day.”
Later that afternoon, the kids gone for the day, Diana packed up to leave. It was only the third week of school and already she was up to her ears in kids with problems. Not just run-of-the-mill middle school problems, but real problems. It was like everyone in Grand Junction was struggling, and their kids were bearing the brunt of it.
And it wasn’t just the kids. Diana had experienced two bad bouts of endometriosis pain in the last couple of weeks, enough to warrant stronger meds and staying at home curled up on the couch. Matthew had been supportive and the boys sweet. Matthew had told them she had “lady pain.” He never told them the truth about endo or what it was, believing that such information wasn’t appropriate for boys to know, especially at that age. Diana didn’t agree, preferring that boys have at least a rudimentary understanding of what girls faced instead of seeing girl problems as weird or icky, but Matthew was their father and it was his decision.
To make matters worse, Matthew hadn’t yet followed through on his promise to do something about his problems in the bedroom. She’d only asked about it once, not wanting to nag or pressure him. He said he was “thinking about it.” Diana knew that Matthew could “think about” something for months at a time, dissecting and analyzing it but never really taking action. She’d always loved his analytical engineer side, but she didn’t like the part where analysis turned to paralysis. And they hadn’t had sex since the night she’d returned from Red Rim Valley.
She drove home, to the place she’d bought once she got hired at the school district. It was a little brick bungalow with a porch and a decent-sized lot. Inside, the wood floors were old but in good shape, the windows were large, and she adored the crown moldings. She’d decorated in browns with red accents, including a large piece of abstract art in vivid shades of red that hung over her couch.
She peeled off her suit, glad to get out of it. She hated wearing a suit, but it made people take her seriously. She poured herself a glass of locally-made pinot noir and sat down to check her phone notifications. One caught her eye.
Asher Wilde wants to be friends with you on Facebook.
Diana’s stomach did a tiny flip. When she opened Facebook, there he was in all his gorgeous, bronzed glory. He wore that roguish smile, his sunglasses holding back his thick mass of hair. How did he find her, anyway? Probably through Mel. And before she could wonder if it was a wise idea, she accepted his request.
She went to his page, knowing full well it would be full of snarky humor, pics of him and his buddies drinking beer, or pics of him with whatever girl had most recently charmed him. But as she scrolled down, she saw that she was dead wrong.
The first post she came across was an article on trail safety, and how bikers needed to obey proper trail etiquette and respect hikers, something Diana strongly believed in. Most mountain bikers abided by the rules, but there were always the jerks who felt like they owned the trails, and there were more of them in Red Rim at this time of year, when the weather favored mountain biking.
Diana continued scrolling. Asher had organized a volunteer-run benefit where kids from anywhere in the Red Rim area could bring their bikes in for free routine maintenance, as long as they were willing to help do the work. The pictures showed kids at his shop, and Asher, J.T., and other men working on the kids’ bikes and teaching them bike maintenance. Yet another post had a pic of three boys and one girl on mountain bikes. Asher’s comment said that he’d taken them out for a lesson and the girl ended up kicking the boys’ butts.
Diana couldn’t help but smile. Asher’s statement that he loved kids wasn’t bullshit. He put in real time to help and teach them. Sure, he’d posted a couple of pics of him and his friends drinking beers… but there was no inappropriate humor. And no ladies.
Her phone rang. Matthew. Diana shut down Facebook.
Diana took a breath to calm herself and avoid saying what she really wanted to say. Twelve-year-old Harrington, skinny and pale, sat in the chair, nervously bouncing his legs while he looked down at the floor. His black eye and bruised face glared at her, just like his broken arm had last time. He swore he’d just gotten into a fight with his sister and that she’s stronger than she looks, but Diana knew better. Harrington’s little sister, strong or not, was too small (and too gentle) to inflict this kind of damage. No, these injuries, just like last time, had come from a larger source: Harrington’s asshole father.
“Our time’s up, Harrington. You can go back to fifth period now.”
“Thank you, Doctor Fiorelli,” he mumbled, still not making eye contact with her.
She stood up and opened the door for him. As he approached, she blocked his way out for just a moment. “Remember, Harrington. Anytime you need to talk about anything bothering you, I’m here.”
He nodded and shuffled out.
Diana shook her head. A few too many broken bones for a 12-year-old. Now, a face full of bruises. A teacher had referred him to Diana, Diana tested him, and Harrington showed signs of emotional trauma. She would have to file a mandatory report. It was the law, and a law she supported one hundred percent. But not that much would come from it. If Harrington was in that much denial, his family would be far worse.
Anger boiled up inside her. Harrington’s father was an abuser. She sensed it the moment she laid eyes on him, the moment he tried to intimidate her when she gently asked about Harrington’s withdrawn behavior.
Her phone rang, startling her. She snatched it and answered. “Hello?”
“Diana?” It was Matthew.
“Oh, hey sweetie.”
“What’s wrong?”
“For the love of Judas Priest. Who ever said it was okay to beat your own child?”
“Uh oh. Another kid with broken bones? You haven’t had one of those in a while.”
“Yes. Another one. Black eye. Big-ass bruise on his face. Claims his tiny little sister, who’s ‘stronger than she looks,’ did it to him. Bullshit. I know it’s that dickhead father of his. He’s come in here before and tried to scare me, but I let that asshole know I won’t take his shit.”
“Okay, let’s calm down…”
Diana paced her office. “Oh, I’ll be calm alright. I’ll be good and calm when I file that mandatory report. It’ll create a stink because Daddy will know I filed it, but I dare that prick to challenge me again.”
“He’d be sorry if he did. You’re only five-three, and even at six feet tall I wouldn’t mess with you.”
Diana knew Matthew was using humor to get her to cool her jets, something he often did when she got fired up. This time, it worked. “Ohhh, thanks for letting me vent. It pisses me off so much when I see these kids being hurt.”
“It happens all the time. He’ll be okay.”
Diana halted her pacing. “He’ll be okay? His own father is pounding his face in, Matthew. He’s still developing and could sustain brain damage. And even if he doesn’t, the emotional damage from that kind of abuse is significant.”
“Kids are resilient, baby. I got past what my parents did to me…”
“Well, first of all, your father didn’t punch you hard enough to send you to the school nurse or break your arms. And even your upbringing has taken its emotional toll on you—”
“It’s not that big a deal, Diana,” he said defensively. “I got over it. Sitting around whining about it doesn’t change anything.”
“You mean to a shrink like me?”
“Let’s not fight. I just called to see how you were doing and if you wanted to come over. The boys would love to see you, especially if you cook. Although I’m happy to order pizza…”
“I’d love to, sweetie, but I’m tired and my pain is bad this week. I think it’s getting worse.”
“Did you go to the doctor?”
“No. She’s just going to tell me I need to take the Pill or get a hysterectomy. You know the problems I’ve had with the first, and the second is out of the question…”
“That’s your call. But maybe you should at least consider any measure, no matter how drastic, if it ends your pain.”
Diana’s anger flared. “How can you say that? Cutting out my reproductive organs doesn’t even guarantee that the pain ends, Matthew! Not to mention that I could never have kids!”
“Okay… sorry. I take it back. I just hate seeing you in pain, that’s all. I want to see you, and give you a hug and kiss.”
Diana’s anger began to fade. “Okay, I’ll come over.”
After spending the evening with Matthew and the boys, Diana finally got home, her pain not much better than before. The drugs had dulled it a little, but Matt and Cole were especially unruly that night and Matthew’s solution was to yell at them. By the time she got to the dishes, she had a headache on top of her churning abdomen. She was glad to finally get home to her quiet house.
She sat down to check Facebook, and found that she had a message. From Asher.
Hey Venus,
How’s Junction life? How’s your new batch of angsty middle school students? Things are good here. Had a couple of events at the shop that ended up being successful. But I’ve been busy as shit now that it’s September and every mountain biker and tourist has invaded Red Rim.
Anyway, the weekend after next we’re heading to West Fork to camp and ride all weekend. Me, Annie, Diego, J.T., and maybe a friend of mine. You up for it? It’s only forty minutes from Junction and it would be great to see you and check out your skillzzz. :)
Let me know.
Ash
Diana shook her head, but she couldn’t help but laugh. Asher still called her Venus. He knew she had an actual name, right? Starting with D and ending in A?
Oh, how she wanted to go. It was the perfect time of year for riding Colorado’s Western Slope. It was no longer blazing hot, but the snow hadn’t come yet. Once it came, there was still biking to be had, but it was unpredictable and potentially treacherous, and Diana and her friends would be mostly relegated to hiking until the weather improved in springtime. Not to mention that the group she normally rode with would be out of town that weekend for a race in California…
Was it weird? Her going to ride with some guy when she had a boyfriend? No. She would be riding with everyone, not just Asher. And she’d made it clear she wasn’t interested in more than friendship. Sure, he was a player and it was possible that he found her refusal to be nothing more than an obstacle to overcome, but he would find her impervious to such bullshit. Plus, he was fun and he cared about helping kids and his community. Not to mention camping! It wouldn’t be long before it got too cold to camp.
Yes, of course she would go.
Matthew blinked a couple of times, staring at her, his expression unreadable.
“You don’t mind if I go, do you?” she said.
“Yes, I do mind.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s my weekend without the kids, for one thing—”
“I know, but I’ll see you on Sunday night—” He rolled his eyes. “Why are you rolling your eyes at me, Matthew?”
“Because. Why do you want to go camping with these people? I don’t know them, they don’t know me. I don’t know who these guys are—”
“They’re the same guys, and girl, I rode with in Red Rim.”
“What if one of them hits on you?”
“One of them kind of did! I made it clear I’m not interested and he backed off. What do you think? That I’m just some hapless victim around the players of the world and they’ll cast a spell on me to lure me away?”
He got a sullen look. “It’s not that. It’s just… I don’t think it’s appropriate. It makes you seem single. And you’re not. We can’t do that kind of thing when we’re married—”
“Why not?” she cried. “Yes, it’s not appropriate to do everything without your spouse, but married people don’t have to be joined at the hip, Matthew. And you could come, but you don’t camp and you don’t bike.”
“It makes more sense when it’s a girls’ weekend—”
“Why does it have to be all girls? Men and women can be friends, too—”
“Not where I come from, Diana. Men and women don’t hang out together without their spouses.”
“Not when they come from some hyper-religious family, they don’t!” she said, gesturing wildly with her arms. “Not when they’re taught that merely being in the same room with the other sex will magically seduce them into committing immediate adultery!” Matthew rolled his eyes again. “Yes, exactly! Eye roll, because it’s ridiculous.”
“Why do you have to go that weekend? Why not when I have the boys, at least?”
“That’s the weekend they’re going. I’m not asking them to change weekends for my sake. My riding buddies are gone that weekend and I want to get in as much riding as I can before winter comes. You know riding is my therapy, Matthew!”
Matthew let out a sigh. “It’s just… I finally saw a shrink. About… you know. Maybe I’m just feeling insecure or something.”
Diana smiled, her defensiveness draining away. “That’s amazing, Matthew! I’m so happy for you. It’s hard to face all that, so of course you’d feel weird.” Encouraged by Matthew finally taking a step forward, she had a thought. “How about this? How about I just go for the day? That way, I get to ride with my friends, but I’m not gone all weekend. Then we can spend Sunday together.”
“I wish you wouldn’t go at all, but I can live with that.”
“Good.”
The next day, Diana sat down to write Asher back. Matthew’s reaction to her desire to go to West Fork was ridiculous, but she was willing to compromise this time. Their relationship had been a little shaky, and she needed to show Matthew that she loved him and would be there for him, especially if he was finally getting help. If things went well in his therapy, she
would feel more secure in moving toward a future with him, especially if he was shopping for rings like he’d insinuated.
Besides, she’d left one important thing undone. Asher and the rest of them didn’t know about Matthew, unless Mel told them. She needed to be honest and make her boundaries clear, but she wanted to do so without embarrassing Asher or appearing like she’d assumed he was interested in her. She knew he wasn’t, not in any real way. At most, Asher was looking for his next lay. And more likely, he was just being a flirt. Men like Asher took to flirting like most men took to breathing.
Finally, after deciding what she would say, she wrote him back.
Hi Asher!
Good to hear from you! I saw the events you held for kids on Facebook, and I have to say I am so impressed. We need someone like you in Junction, big time.
So, West Fork. I would LOVE to go, but I can only go on Saturday, just for the day. My boyfriend doesn’t have his kids that weekend and I need to spend some quality time with him. Let me know where and when to meet you guys.
Look forward to it!
Sincerely,
Diana
There. She did it. That would put the kibosh on any Venus-inspired flirtations. Assuming she even heard back from him.
But she did hear back, and quickly. Asher said that sounded great, and he looked forward to seeing her.
Chapter Six
With her bike on its rack and her gear packed for the day, Diana took off toward West Fork. West Fork had steep hills and tons of biking trails, but was just far enough from home that she didn’t get there any more often than she did Red Rim. Not when the local trails were so convenient. The place offered great riding, though, and riding that felt natural to her because it lacked the slickrock that pervaded Red Rim Valley.
Wild Inside Page 4
