Diana climbed up, careful to not look down. When she approached the top, she walked along the edge of the bowl, careful to avoid any ice patches and tumble to the unforgiving rock, or worse, plummet off the cliff and to her death. Soon, she stepped into the rock basin, the tall graceful arch standing peacefully on its other side. She turned off her headlamp.
And there, in the moonlight, on the same ledge where they’d once nestled together, sat someone. A jolt of nervousness went through her. He would think she was crazy for doing this, for stalking him at his place and trying to find him when he probably didn’t want to be found. She walked carefully toward the figure, trying not to trip on the sloped rock. Then she halted.
There were two figures on that ledge, but they were snuggled so close that they’d looked like one.
Diana felt a stab to her gut. Tears threatened as she stood there waiting for her eyes to tell her it was only one person, not two. But they didn’t. He was there. And he’d brought someone with him.
Leave. Go.
Diana turned, wondering how the hell she was going to get back. And when she did, she ran right into someone. She uttered a tiny cry of alarm and looked up.
Asher stared down at her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Asher stood there, bundled in his cold-weather gear, his thick hair pulled back and hiding under a sweater cap. Even in the darkness, she could see his probing eyes on her.
“Hi,” she said tentatively, relief flooding her. He was alone!
“What are you doing here?” Asher asked her. “Did you hike up here by yourself?”
She couldn’t tell if he seemed impressed, or annoyed. “I did.”
“Why?”
“To find you,” she said quietly.
The dark eyes still watched her. “How’d you know I was here?”
“I went looking for you at your shop, and J.T. said he didn’t know where you were. I took a wild guess.”
“A wild guess?” he said, sounding dumbfounded. “How did you even remember how to get here?”
“I have no idea,” she admitted. “I have a headlamp and a decent sense of direction.” She paused. “Am I invading your private time?”
A pause. “No.”
Asher gazed down at her, his expression as serious as when she’d last seen him, as if torn between wanting to pull her into his arms and wanting to protect himself.
“You were right,” she said. “It would have been a mistake to marry him.”
Asher gave no response, only watching her, probably waiting for her to say more. Her little speech, the one she’d practiced, had disappeared from her memory and left no trace. All she knew was how good it felt to see him, to be near him.
Diana unzipped her jacket and reached into her inner pocket, pulling out some notebook paper that she’d folded neatly. She handed it to him.
He took it. “What’s this?”
“Just read it,” she said, her voice breaking as tears filled her eyes.
Asher glanced at it again before he motioned for her to follow him down into the bowl, closer to the arch, where they sat down on Asher’s down sleeping bag and pad. Asher opened the sheets of paper with her handwritten scrawls on them, and turned on his headlamp.
He read a few lines before turning to her. “What is all this?”
“It’s a wish list. Of all the things I want in life if there were no barriers of any kind.”
Asher studied the list again, his eyes tracking back and forth as he read down the first page and then flipped to the second, and then the third. When he got to the last thing, the final wish she’d penned in her semi-drunken but honest stupor, he stared at it, for far longer than any of the others. He turned off his lamp and refolded the papers, but held onto them.
“I love you, Ash,” she blurted out. When Asher raised his eyebrows, she went on. “Don’t freak out, okay? You don’t owe me anything. I just wanted to—”
“Diana—”
“Just hear me out, Ash. Please. I’m realizing I don’t want everything I thought I wanted. If I hadn’t met you, I’d have married Matthew for all the wrong reasons. Now, I don’t know if I even want to get married. And if I do, I don’t want the traditional stuff. I want to see the world. And when I have kids—however I manage to have them—I want to take them with me when I travel abroad instead of being stuck in Junction all my life. I want to go on some new adventures, and I was hoping that maybe you’d want to come with—”
“Diana.”
Diana went silent at Asher’s interruption, suddenly feeling foolish. She’d said too much.
“You don’t have to say all this. I love you, too.”
Diana’s heart jumped. “You do?”
He nodded. Before she could throw her arms around him, Asher grabbed her and kissed her, crushing his lips to hers. Diana forgot the cold and her worry and everything else, feeling only the taste of Asher and the feel of his hands buried in her hair.
“Fuck,” he muttered, leaning his forehead against hers. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, sweetie.”
He gazed at her. “And you know what? I’ll marry you tomorrow if it’s what you want.”
“Ash…”
“I’m serious. As long as you don’t need that picket fence, I’ll take you down to that courthouse and marry you tomorrow. Or the day after, since tomorrow’s a holiday.”
Diana giggled, tears running down her face. “I don’t care about getting married. I do care about the kid thing, but I’d rather put that off for now, while I figure things out. I thought I knew what my life was going to be… now I don’t. All I know is I want to be with you, to find out if what we experienced was as real as it felt.”
Asher grabbed her hands. “It was real. I knew it the moment we sat on that ledge, under the stars.” He pointed to where the couple sat. “I knew then that I wanted to spend my life with you. And it freaked me out, big time. But I’m not scared anymore. I talked to my brother at Christmas, about what happened with my ex. He said I was an idiot to hold that against her for so long. He said she’s never even left Utah, and that she and Mikey are always jealous when one of them even talks to a member of the other sex. They don’t trust each other because they’re both cheats. She was like that with me, too, always suspecting me, when she was the cheater. And I realized, that could’ve been me, living that shit life with her. She did me a huge fucking favor by doing what she did.”
“I hope you don’t think I’m like that,” she said, remembering her jealous reaction to Kira and the other woman, who, looking back, Ash was just talking to in his normal friendly way. “I was feeling vulnerable and scared.”
Asher nodded. “I know you were. We both were. Sorry I reacted that way…”
“It’s okay.” Then a thought came to her. “Ash, you don’t really think I look down on you for running a bike shop, do you? Because that couldn’t be further from the truth. I love what you do and I couldn’t care less about education—”
“I know. That was just more ex baggage. She was a med student. So was Mikey. I let that get to me because… I’m a smart guy, but I’m not a school guy. And that’s a bad thing when you have Mormon parents.”
Diana nodded. She knew the type, even without being Mormon. She caressed his face. “You’re perfect the way you are, Ash. My life changed for the better the moment I met you.”
“So did mine, Venus.” He smiled. “And I want kids, Diana. But I have to be honest… the thought of being a parent scares the piss out of me. I know I’ll come around, but that’s the truth.”
“That’s okay. Let’s just be like normal people and take it slow. You visit me, I’ll visit you, and we’ll see what happens.”
Asher nodded. “I can do that.” He got a little gleam in his eye as he arched an eyebrow. “So. Anal sex, huh?”
Diana laughed, her face growing hot with embarrassment. “Give me that list back.”
He shook his head. “Nope. I’m keeping it. And I’m
going to make sure we do everything on it. Especially that one.”
She smacked him on the chest and he laughed, that hearty laugh only Asher was capable of, the one that conveyed a complete and utter joy and love of life. She threw her arms around him and he hugged her tight. She inhaled his smell, letting his body heat warm her in the sub-freezing air. Asher kissed her again, this time with more need. But soon, the cold crept to her extremities and she shivered.
“You cold?” Asher ran his hand over her leg.
“Kind of. How can you sleep in these temperatures? Or on this freezing cold rock?”
“With a good down bag and a decent pad, I do alright.”
They stared up at the stars again, glimmering in the winter air as both breathed fog into the quiet night. How beautiful the sky. How vast the universe and all its mysteries. Days ago, Diana never would’ve thought that she’d be sitting with Asher in his special place—their special place—on the eve of a new year. On the eve of their new life together.
Asher finally glanced at his watch.
“What time is it?” Diana said.
“Just after ten. What do you say we get off this rock and go celebrate?”
Diana grinned. “Are we going to the brewery?”
“Yep. But we have to make one quick stop first.”
“Where’s that?”
“My house.” He looked her up and down. “I want you naked.”
Diana smiled at that. They packed up and hiked back to their cars in the moonlight, Asher holding her hand and guiding her past any slippery spots on the trail. As she followed his truck back to Red Rim, she took in the vast scenery, lit up by the bright moonlight. She teared up in wonder. She didn’t know what the next year would bring. She only knew that she was excited to find out.
Once inside the warmth of Asher’s home, Asher set down his keys and grabbed her, kissing her with such ferocity that it took her breath away. How she’d missed his passion for life. How she’d missed him.
“Take off those clothes, Venus,” her murmured in her ear. “I want that wet pussy.”
“Yes,” she breathed.
Stripped down to nothing, Diana let Asher have his way with her right there on his couch, his rough eagerness only arousing her more. She loved that zeal—it was him all the way—and he was showing her how much he cared, in the way he needed to and in the way she loved.
Later, they arrived hand in hand at the brewery to celebrate New Year’s Eve. When Mel spotted them heading toward the bar, she got excited and began jumping up and down.
“You made up!” she said. “You made up, and D can’t punish me for telling you she was single again because it all worked out and you made up!”
Diana laughed, seeing that Mel had already begun her New Year’s celebration hours before. They joined J.T., Annie, Diego, and the rest of their friends and drank to celebrate a new year. And a new life.
At the stroke of midnight, Asher pulled her into his arms and gave her a big kiss. “Happy New Year, Venus.”
“Happy New Year, Ash.” Diana had a sudden thought. “Where did you decide to go for your off-season trip? I’ve been wondering for months.”
“Nicaragua. Do a little surfing.”
“You surf?”
“I’ve been known to, when I travel anywhere with a beach and waves…”
Diana smiled. “How long will you be gone?”
“A few weeks.”
“You’ll send me pics, right?”
He shook his head.
Diana’s smile faded. “Why not?”
“Because you’re coming with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Diana stood up from her desk and stretched. She felt tired that day.
But that was hardly surprising. She’d been swamped with work in the weeks since she and Asher returned from Nicaragua. It was as if every child developed some problem and every parent had some concern during the three weeks she was gone.
Not that she minded. Helping them, however she could, was what she loved to do.
A few of the kids had made strides. David Turnbull had become quite the carpenter’s apprentice. He got in far less trouble now, his parents mostly quit griping about his grades, and even his narrow-minded father seemed a little impressed with his new skills. And the report on Harrison’s abusive father had resulted in a formal investigation; not much had come from it yet, but Harrison had come to school with no breaks or bruises since. It wasn’t a solution, but it was a start.
Everyone commented on Diana’s tan, which was toasty brown after three weeks of sun, surfing, and hiking with Asher. It was early spring now and everyone but her was pasty white and praying for warm weather.
Their trip to Nicaragua was amazing. Diana loved being there, meeting the local people and perfecting her Spanish. Grand Junction had a decent number of Spanish speakers, so practicing the language came in handy. Asher had surfed his heart out; Diana did her best, but it was so much harder than it looked! They ate and swam and hiked the volanoes and talked about the future. Asher mentioned kids a few times, like he was warming up to the idea of fatherhood, but Diana didn’t press. Right now, she just wanted to connect with her own values, like Dr. Herrera had suggested. One thing she knew for sure after spending time in Central America was that she wanted to travel more. She wanted to go everywhere, especially before she and Asher had kids and things got more challenging.
They hadn’t yet talked about where they would live. They’d been alternating weekends at her place and his, although Diana preferred going to Red Rim. She’d become more attached to the place, realizing that she was tired of Grand Junction. And Asher had hinted at her moving there at some point.
But her job. Red Rim needed people like Asher; they didn’t need as many people like her. She loved her job, even the crappy parts. Yet, taking Ash out of Red Rim seemed wrong, and she couldn’t see him living in Junction. But if Diana had learned anything, it’s that the best thing—the right thing—wasn’t always what you thought it was. Sometimes you had to wait and see, and they had plenty of time.
The previous week, Dr. Galvin’s assistant had called to schedule a follow-up appointment. Diana never returned the call. She knew she would have to address that cyst eventually and face surgery, but she couldn’t deal with doctors, exams, surgery, fertility, or any of it right now. She’d dealt with all that for years, and for the first time, she was free of it. Besides, ever since Diana committed to Mariah’s dietary suggestions, her pain had dwindled considerably and, after a follow-up visit to adjust her supplements and get more acupuncture, the pain had become almost nonexistent. She felt… amazing. It was yet another way Asher had changed her life.
However, the next day, Dr. Galvin herself called. Diana expected a long lecture about her using non-traditional medicine to treat her endo when there were no studies to back up such treatments, but Dr. Galvin was surprisingly understanding. She’d heard of a couple of the supplements and told Diana that if something works, do it.
Yet, she reiterated the need for Diana to come in. They needed to monitor that cyst. Endometriomas were notoriously stubborn and could burst, spewing inflammatory material all over the abdominal cavity and creating crippling pain that would send Diana to the emergency room. Diana sighed and made an appointment for next week.
She called Asher to tell him.
“Go,” he said. “It’s better to be safe than sorry. And if you need surgery, J.T. can take over the shop and I’ll come stay with you until you recover.”
“Thank you, sweetie. I just… I don’t want to deal with all that again.”
“Don’t worry. Whatever happens, we’ll handle it.”
When the appointment finally rolled around, Diana arrived at the doctor’s office and checked in, bad memories of the past haunting her. She got undressed and sat on the medical bed in only a cotton robe, waiting to get probed for the millionth time. How many times had a doctor’s hands invaded her lady parts… or, in some cases, her butt? How many time
s had she had a metal rod put in her vagina to do transvaginal ultrasound so the doctors could see her abdominal cavity? How many times had a surgeon put her under and cut her open to remove the endo buildup?
She sighed and pushed such thoughts away. It could be worse. Many had it worse.
When Dr. Galvin came in, she shut the door and sat on her stool. “Diana. How are you?”
“I’m good. Although I dreaded coming here. No offense.”
Dr. Galvin smiled. “None taken.” She paused. “Diana, we’ve got a problem.”
Fear gripped Diana. “We do?”
“Yes. We took your urine sample and tested it. You’re pregnant.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Diana stared at Dr. Galvin. “What? That’s impossible!”
“I take it you didn’t know.”
“No!”
“You haven’t had any symptoms or missed periods?”
“Missed periods, sure. But I’ve always been irregular and we just got back from traveling to Central America, so I assumed that threw me off.”
“No nausea or fatigue?”
Diana hesitated. Fatigue. She had been more tired than usual, but she’d chalked it up to her busy catch-up after their trip. “That can’t be right, Doctor G. I’ve never been able to get pregnant, even without protection. And you know I’ve tried.”
“So you are on birth control?”
“We used condoms, every time!”
“Well, it looks like one of them didn’t work.”
Diana sat there, hardly believing her ears. She shook her head. “It’s impossible, Doctor Galvin. It has to be a mistake.”
“There’s one way to find out…”
Thirty minutes later, Diana still refusing to believe that she could possibly be pregnant, lay back as the ultrasound technician squirted gel on her belly and began.
“And… there it is,” the tech quipped. She pointed to a dark area in the readout. Sure enough, there was a tiny person growing there.
“Jiminy Christmas,” Diana said, covering her mouth with her hand.
Wild Inside Page 19
