“Well, yes, but—”
He shrugged. “Well then, it is logical to assume that your desired outcome was to seduce me, as you have done with the other male members of our current group.”
I suddenly became uncomfortably aware that his arm was still around my waist and I was pressed up against him. I could feel the hard lines of his body under his expensive shirt and trousers, and I could feel desire burning inside my belly as those intense blue eyes gazed into mine.
Annoyed with myself as well as him, I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away. He let go immediately. “Euriel, let me set your mind at ease. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to seduce you. In fact, the thought of being in bed with you makes me feel physically sick. What I did was merely to demonstrate that you might be all high and mighty in the way you speak, but you still have a body like everyone else, and it will react just as everyone else’s does. Which it did, and which everybody noticed, much to their amusement.” His lips pressed together in a thin line, and I saw a deep flush begin to creep up from his collar. “As for your apology, I refuse to accept it.”
“You... refuse?” He stared down at me, clearly lost.
I nodded. “Apologising for simply walking out of a room, when you had greatly insulted me and two people I care very much about, is just crazy. When you want to apologise for how you spoke to me, and especially to them, then I might listen.”
He appeared genuinely confused. “But what I said... What they do…”
“Is none of your business.” I shook my head. “I don’t get how you can miss so much, how you can’t see what I see. You’ve lived with them as long as I have.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Tell me.”
I looked up at him. “What?”
He took my hand and guided me over to a nearby bench where he sat down and motioned for me to do the same. The wooden seat was cold through my jeans, and I eyed the other tourists walking into the possibly warm interior of the cathedral with envy. He took my hands in his then glanced down. “You’re cold.” He folded them into his own. I was surprised to find he had a warm touch, considering what a cold, insensitive bastard he was. “So, tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
He leaned forward. “Tell me what you see when you look at those two sinners.”
Oh.
I leaned back and looked up at the sky. “I see... the way they look at each other across the room when they think no one is watching. I see the way Amadi ruffles Alex’s hair when he passes him. I see little touches, like Alex putting his hand on Amadi’s back when he’s cooking, just for a moment, to let him know he’s there, or Amadi touching the back of Alex’s hand when he starts to stutter, just to reassure him. I see the way they snuggle up together when they watch a film. I see Alex wandering around the farmers’ market looking for just the right fruit and veg because he knows the best will make Amadi happy.” I stopped and looked over at him. He was staring at the ground, his face impassive. “You know what all those things add up to, Euriel?”
He glanced up at me. “What?”
I smiled. “Love. Pure and simple. Yes, there’s sex, but it’s love making. It’s making the other person feel amazing with just your touch, with the feel of your body against theirs. It’s a deep, physical connection with another person that you sometimes just can’t say with words.” His blue eyes were locked on mine, and I saw his beautiful lips part slightly. For a second, I was tempted to kiss him, but then I remembered he was an asshole. But hey, at least he was listening to me. My mouth suddenly felt dry, and I ran the tip of my tongue over my own lips. His gaze immediately dropped to watch my mouth, and I realised he wanted to kiss me too. “Euriel…”
He looked up, blinked, then straightened and averted his eyes. I watched his defences raise again. “Angels are not permitted any kind of physical touch unless they are fighting or healing. It is hard to understand this connection as anything other than satisfying animal instincts that are forbidden by the Lord.” I looked down at our hands, still wrapped around each other. He smiled wryly. “There are some rules I struggle with, and I find it hard to apply when I am on Earth. Like a simple touch for comfort. We are not permitted to touch humans, but I have found that humans often respond well to touch if it comes from a place of compassion. I have not been here often, and many of those times I did not interact with simple... with humans. It is like being thrust into an entirely different world where you can watch from a distance, but you do not have the personal experience to easily navigate it. I think you might understand this?”
His glorious eyes fixed on me, and I nodded. “Yes, that’s exactly how I’m feeling. Everything around me is the same, and yet everything has changed and I’m not sure how to deal with it.”
“I am in the same position. I must be among humans, and I was trained to interact with them, with you, but I get here, and it is so different than what they prepared me for. From the looks of it, your mother did her best to train you, to educate you, in the hope that if you did get pulled into this world, you would have enough training to cope. Compared to Cas and his team, however, you do not have the personal experience yet. That can only come with time.”
I sighed. “I know, it’s just hard. I feel like I’m back at school and the dumbest kid in the class. Not a good feeling.”
Euriel nodded. “I am trying to learn by watching, listening, and experiencing. But my training and my conditioning are strong, and I have no reason to doubt most of what I have been taught. I do not agree with your viewpoint on the union between males of your species. The Creator teaches us that sex should be a godly expression of love between a man and a woman joined before him in marriage in order to conceive children. Anything else is sinful and wrong. I just don’t think we’re going to see to eye to eye on this.”
I made a noise of frustration. “I guess not. But can you at least, just leave them alone and hate them from a distance?”
He nodded solemnly. “I appreciate the experience you have shared with me, of how you perceive it, and I realise that I may need to adapt my reactions to it. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Thank you.” He squeezed my hands, stroking his thumb over the backs.
“For what?” I asked.
“For showing me a little of what it is to be human. For letting me in. And for trusting me with something important to you. No one has ever taken me into their confidence before. It feels... good.”
“Um... you’re welcome.” I smiled at him, rather unsure of this unseen side of him, but the cold had finally got the better of me and I shivered.
Euriel frowned. “You’re cold. Come on, let’s go into the cathedral. I can show you around.”
“What, were you a tour guide in a former life?” I teased as we made our way towards the door, and hopefully, warmth. He looked down and actually grinned at me. Something danced inside my stomach and my breath caught.
“No, but I was kind of hanging around when they built the place, and I have a pretty good memory.” My mouth fell open, and he laughed.
“Fine, but afterwards I’m taking you for ice cream,” I insisted. His outdated and frankly brainwashed ideals aside, this was a much nicer side of Euriel than I’d seen before, and I was rather interested to see how much I could get away with before he reverted back to his normal asshole self.
“Ice cream? You’re freezing!” He looked completely confused.
I grinned. “Yes, but around the corner is apparently a gelato that sells the best chocolate ice cream in the world, and I don’t care how cold I am, I am definitely not missing that!”
He shook his head. “Humans. You really are strange beings. Are all human women as confusing as you are?”
I laughed. “It’s been said.”
Chapter Nineteen
CAS
It was late by the time we all got back to the hotel. We ran in from the taxi, hurrying to escape the downpour that had started minutes before. Alex and Amadi made their goodnights and disappeared fairly q
uickly, hand in hand. I guessed Florence was living up to the reputation of being a romantic city. I’d been unnaturally quiet throughout dinner, which I’d realised after half an hour of Amadi and Sam trying to get me to join in the conversation that flowed along with the wine.
The table had been outside on the street under the stars, though the patio heaters placed nearby kept us warm in the autumnal air. The pizzas were freshly made and tasted amazing, and the wine was local and one of the best I’d had recently. Everyone else seemed to be chatting away, and even Euriel had joined in now and again without annoying anyone. I hadn’t been in the mood. I spent the night drinking my way through my own carafe or two of wine and watching Faith across the table. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, though I tried to be as subtle as I could. The light from the candles had lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle, and the wine had brought a warm flush to her cheeks. She was just... beautiful.
As we made our way up the stairs, I heard her laugh at something Sam said, and I could feel the jealousy sitting like a sickness in my belly. She’d repeatedly said she wasn’t interested in me, that whatever was between us was in the past, but I’d felt her body respond to me without hesitation when I’d kissed her. I’d felt her heart race, her breath catch in her throat, and her body press against mine, wanting more. I’d tried to hold back, tried to ignore the pull towards her that I couldn’t describe. I’d thought she was interested in Sam. She certainly had given that impression, and it was clear he returned her feelings. I’d never seen him so hung up on a girl before, and I’d seen him date plenty. But then this morning, she’d completely thrown me when she told Euriel she’d been with Amadi and Alex. That had shocked me and brought home how little I knew her now. When I’d met her, she’d been shy and inexperienced. She’d been spirited for certain. It had been one of the many things that had made me fall for her. But she’d been innocent. I felt a slight pang of guilt for being the one who had corrupted that innocence. I’d meant to take her on a few dates, but the pull between us was magnetic, and I hadn’t been able to resist. As we reached the top of the stairs and I glanced across at her, I could still feel that pull that made me want to turn around, take her in my arms, and push her up against the nearest wall and kiss her like she’d never been kissed before.
Euriel gave me a civil nod as he wandered towards his door. I deliberately hung back, waiting for Sam to say goodnight. He tried to linger for a few minutes, and I could tell he was annoyed with me, but I didn’t care at this point. Faith and I had been skirting around the events that triggered our breakup years ago, and I was done guessing what she was alluding to. Some of the things she’d let slip out the other day had really shocked me, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. It was probably a bad choice of timing, considering the amount of wine we’d both had, but my inhibitions had dropped with the amount of Barolo I’d drunk, and I was hoping hers had too. Tonight, I needed nothing less than honesty from her. Sam disappeared into his room with a sulky glare in my direction.
Faith gave me a quick glance before she opened her own bedroom door. “Goodnight, Cas,” she murmured, stepping through and moving to close the door behind her. I refused to be dismissed that easily and pushed my way into the room, gently but insistently.
“You and I need to have a talk.”
She shut the door firmly and turned to face me. “You and I were over years ago, Cas. I don’t need to do anything with you anymore.” She stared at me defiantly, but I could see a slump to her shoulders and dark circles under her eyes. She was tired and worried about her mother. I wanted to take her into my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. Fighting the instinct to reassure her, I leaned back against the desk. I watched her emerald eyes trail down my body, taking in every inch of me, and the attention made my heart beat a little faster. I could see the heat in her eyes, and it took her a few seconds to remember that she was mad at me. “Cas, what the fuck is this about?”
I took a breath, trying to play it cool. My heart was in my throat, and I felt on edge. I didn’t want her to know that though, I really didn’t want her to have any idea of the effect she still had on me after all these years. Not when she was more interested in pretty much anyone except me.
I stared back at her and straightened. I was sick of feeling like I was constantly cocking up with her. “It’s about the fact that I really can’t take this shit from you anymore, Faith. You’re flirting with every guy in our vicinity. For fuck’s sake, you were even fluttering your eyelashes at Euriel tonight!”
Her eyes flashed. “I don’t flutter my eyelashes at anyone, you patronising tosser, and certainly not that stuck-up pile of feathers. And what the hell do you care?”
“I don’t care. It’s not fair to Sam.” I cursed myself as I said it.
She smiled at me, raising an eyebrow. “Sam? Really?”
“What you did with Amadi and Alex wasn’t fair when you’ve been leading Sam on. And you even described it in detail in front of the poor guy. It’s fairly obvious to everyone he has feelings for you. Why would you rub it in his face like that?”
She frowned. “What I did with Amadi and Alex is none of your damn business. Sam didn’t mind at all. In fact, he even asked to join next time. I think it’s you who has the problem, and I can’t figure out why. It’s not like you ever really gave a shit, so why now?”
I couldn’t reply, I just stared at her. I wanted to yell at her and call her out on her bullshit, but she was right. The silence seemed to stretch on for ages. My breathing grew ragged, and I couldn’t form the words I wanted to say. Her breathing was uneven too, I could hear it from where I stood, and I honestly couldn’t tell if she was angry with me or wanted me as badly as I wanted her. That thought was all it took, and before I knew it, I was striding across the floor. I reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her hard against me, and felt her breath catch with the force of her body slamming into mine. Fire flooded my veins as I crushed my mouth to hers, and she didn’t resist as I claimed her with my kiss. Everything seemed to pour out of me in the moment, all the frustration and anger and desire, and I realised she was kissing me back the same way.
She bit down hard on my lower lip, and I groaned, gripping her tighter before I slid my hands down to her hips. I felt her hands slide up over my chest before wrapping around my neck to pull me down into the kiss, and my skin burned under her touch. In that moment, she was everything. She was all I could think about. All I could taste, touch, smell, hear, see, and taste. My hands slipped farther down to cup her ass, and I pulled her against my growing hardness. She moaned, and I moved back slightly, breaking the kiss to look at her. Her face was flushed and her eyes were dark and sparkling with desire. Her lips were red and swollen, and I couldn’t resist kissing her again, sliding my tongue between them, demanding entrance.
The thought that this wasn’t what I wanted, that I’d desired to sit and talk to her danced through my head. I wanted her to tell me what the hell had happened all those years ago, to fill in the pieces that I was obviously missing, but my mind had given up, and my body couldn’t hold back from her call. I grabbed at the hem of her t-shirt, yanked it out of her jeans, and slid my hands over the smooth skin of her hips, belly, and lower back. She did the same, raking her long nails down my back, eliciting a mixture of pleasure and pain that made me shiver with delight.
“Fuck,” I swore, pushing her against the dresser behind her and pressing myself against her. Her heat poured into me, and I felt like I was holding a fucking firebrand in my arms. I needed more. I tore my mouth from hers, trailing kisses down her neck, nipping and sucking, wanting to taste every inch of her. She ground against me, and I could hear her soft moans in my ear and feel her sweet breath on my neck. Pulling away, I jerked her towards the bed, dragging her shirt over her head. I wrapped her long red tresses around my fist and tossed the fabric away before pulling her close and holding her tight while I devoured her mouth. My other hand fumbled with her bra strap, and I eventually manag
ed to tear it away, flinging it across the room in my haste. Breaking the kiss, I pulled back a little so I could look at her. My eyes roamed over her face, her neck, her arms, and her breasts. She’d filled out a little since I’d last seen her like this, and I could tell she was working out a lot less. Her mother had insisted on a strict physical training schedule. Now instead of a sexy shredded six pack, she was soft and smooth, though still strong and fit. I cupped her breasts together.
“Fucking hell, Faith. It’s a damn good job I’ve already fallen. You’d corrupt an angel,” I murmured as I bent down to take one of her nipples into my mouth. She made a soft growling noise in the back of her throat and tipped her head back, arching against me.
“Cas…”
I bit down, loving the sound of my name on her lips. Before the night was over, she’d be screaming it. She moaned again, tangling her hands in my dreads to pull me closer. I ran one of my hands over her other breast, gently massaging her and rubbing my thumb over her nipple. My arm snaked behind her back to support her as I felt her knees weaken.
“God, Faith... you’re just so...” I couldn’t finish the sentence, my brain wouldn’t let me form coherent words. All I could think about was wanting her so badly, wanting to be so deep inside her, that I couldn’t tell where I ended and she began.
I pushed her down onto the bed, and she dropped eagerly, pulling me down on top of her. I braced my arms on either side of her head, looking down into those fiery green eyes. She met and held my gaze until I lowered to graze my teeth along her jawline and press my hardness against the heat between her legs. Her eyes closed, and she arched up against me, a low growl of need in her throat. I bit down on her neck, sucking at her soft skin and inching down over her collarbone. Detouring slightly, I took one of her nipples in my mouth, rubbing my thumb across the other until she moaned. But I wanted to taste more. I slid down the bed, kissing and licking my way across her belly, already loosening her jeans and tugging them open—and then I froze. I leaned back and touched my fingers to her skin, tracing the three deep scars that criss-crossed her lower belly.
Nephilim the Awakening (Wrath of the Fallen Book 1) Page 19
