by Don Johnson
As they got quite close to the platform and the raised chair, Billy’s legs started to wobble a little as he realised just how powerful the CPU must be, and he began to regret having started his boredom protest in the first place. It had been very interesting travelling through the System, and he had enjoyed some good times on the way to the CPU, but what was going to happen to him now? All his original bravado was leaking away, and he gazed up at the occupier of the chair in a great deal of trepidation. He could see that this person had a very, very large head – which was understandable Billy thought, as there had to be lots going on inside. As he looked closer, though, he realised with a start, that this was not what he had expected. The CPU was not a male like all the other senior controllers of the System Units, ‘it’ was a female!
Chapter 10 Judgement!
“Shut your mouth, Billy,” hissed Monty in Billy’s left ear. “You’re gaping!”
“But! . . . But!” mumbled Billy, in a state of confusion – for he was totally unprepared for the CPU to be a female. He had naturally assumed that, like all the other senior personnel he had met during his travels, the CPU would be a male – though no one had ever said as much, he now realised. It had just been a somehow natural assumption to make.
“You seem surprised, young Billy,” said the CPU – in a strong but not unkind voice. “Never expected to see a female sitting in this chair I expect.”
“Well! I er, er,” stuttered Billy, rather lost for words.
“Call her Ma’m,” whispered Monty, “And don’t try to fool her, she’s too clever for any of us! Be very careful what you say,” he warned.
Billy tried to pull himself together, though the worries he had felt about his situation were now building up inside, and he felt extremely nervous. But he was a plucky little Bit, and his natural strength of character enabled him to answer in a fairly firm voice, “Yes, Ma’m, I must admit that I did rather expect you to be a male. Please accept my apologies if I have offended you, that was not my intention.”
“No need to apologise,” said the CPU, “It’s a quite usual response. But my job demands that I am able to deal with lots of things at the same time. Females are far better equipped for this than males. It’s just like in the human world – women can cook, feed a baby, do the ironing and argue all at once. Men can really only handle one thing at a time!”
Well, Billy did not understand all the references to the human world that the CPU had made, but even if he had, felt that it would not be prudent to argue the point.
“It does irritate me at times, though,” continued the CPU. “After all most the System is located on what is called the ’Mother Board’, so it’s really a quite logical deduction for anyone to make. If it had been called the ‘Father Board’ then your expectations would have been understandable – but it’s not! Anyway, the System Clock is ticking, so down to business.”
The CPU examined the details in a folder that she had been holding, and scanned through its contents at an amazing speed.
“So, Mr. Bit,” she declared. “You decided to become indeterminate.”
“I did get the right word,” thought Billy to himself as the CPU waited for his response. He decided that telling the complete truth was the best policy, for as Monty had hinted, if he lied he was sure the CPU would see though him.
“Yes, Ma’m,” Billy replied, “But I did not intend to cause trouble really, I was just bored.”
“Bored!” “BORED!” shouted the CPU, “Who do you think you are? Lowly Bits aren’t allowed to worry about being bored!”
“Well, I’m sorry Ma’am”, replied Billy stiffly, “You asked me a question, and I answered it truthfully. I could have made some excuse, but I think you are too intelligent for me to try to fool you.”
“Well!” said the CPU, “Not afraid to stick up for yourself, I see. And capable of adding a bit of flattery as well. But what do you think would happen to the System if Bits like yourself decided to do what they liked? Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue? The System would collapse!”
“I realise that now, Ma’am,” said Billy, “But in my quiet corner of the System, it seemed such a small thing to do. Now that I have seen more of the System, and understand some of what is going on, I realise my mistake – but I was bored!”
“Hmmmm!” muttered the CPU, “You say that because of what you have seen you understand some of what is going on? Did you not come straight here?” she asked sternly.
“Er, No!” said Monty, “The request was only at Priority 4 level, so as there was no rush, I decided to show Billy some of the System on the way here.”
“Did you indeed?” queried the CPU, turning her steely gaze on Monty. “And who are you to make such a decision, a Scheduler?” she asked sarcastically.
“No Ma’am, just a Mail Messenger,” said Monty stiffly, “but there was a Directive issued saying that any staff showing aptitude for learning should be encouraged. I was following those instructions, and feel sure I was right to do so!”
“Ah! Another brave one!” responded the CPU gravely, “I do remember issuing that Directive when there was a shortage of staff at higher levels, but the point is, did Mr. Bit here actually show any promise?”
“Oh! Yes!” said Monty eagerly, “He picked things up very quickly, and even worked out some things for himself before I had a chance to tell him.”
“That’s true! I did!” said Billy vehemently, for he did not care if the CPU thought he was bragging, he just wanted to back up his friend, for it seemed from what the CPU was saying that Monty might be in just as much trouble as Billy. “I don’t care what you do to me, but Monty here was only letting me look at places because I had asked him. You can’t punish him for that!”
“Hold on, hold on!” laughed the CPU leaning back in her chair in a sudden change of mood, “No one is going to punish either of you. You have to realise that I just need to get at the facts of any situation quickly, and so sometimes I do seem a little harsh in my attitude. However, I find a tough approach tends to get the truth out in the open rather more quickly than any other way. My time, after all, is very valuable,” she added with a modest smile.
Billy’s face became less red as he digested the CPU’s words and rapid change in manner and he began to calm down a little. “But why did you have me brought here, if I am not to be punished?” he persisted.
“Because any member of the System who shows any inclination to rise above the general level of his or her duties is of interest to me,” said the CPU with a smile. “They can sometimes be trained to perform the higher level functions which are always being asked of us as the System is constantly upgraded by the human owner. But don’t get me wrong,” she continued, “All the members of the System are needed for it to function correctly, for even I could do nothing without the support of everyone else. Don’t underestimate the contribution you were making even in your ‘quiet corner’ as you put it”
“I see,” said Billy feeling slightly squashed, “But why did you seem so nasty just now?”
“Partly because I need answers quickly – as I said before – but also because I needed to know if you were truthful, intelligent and, most importantly, could stand up to pressure. It can be quite stressful having a more demanding job that that of a Bit in a memory area. The question was, could you stand it?”
“Loyalty is another important character requirement,” she went on, “For the System needs each element to support all the others when things get difficult, so I also needed to see what you would do when I appeared to be threatening Montmerency here a little.”
“Sorry, Billy,” added Monty, putting his arm around Billy’s shoulders, “I knew what the CPU was doing and played along with her. I had to go through a similar ordeal before I became a Messenger.”
“Well, I suppose it makes sense,” responded Billy who was now beginning to feel rather pleased with himself becau
se he had not been intimidated, and seemed to have reacted in the correct way to his tests. “I guess that there must be situations where panicking could cause someone to do the wrong thing, and the System would produce the wrong results.”
“Exactly!” declared the CPU. “ - You were right Montmerency, he does pick up ideas quickly.”
“Thank you Ma’am”, said Billy, standing a little straighter. “But just what is going to happen to me now?”
“If you want to advance in the System – as it appears that you certainly do - you will have to join the Training Program,” said the CPU. “But hold on, I detect a change in the System occurring”, she said as she turned away from the slightly. “Back! Out of the way, both of you. As quick as you can!”
Billy felt rather hurt at being dismissed so abruptly, but had no time to dwell upon his feelings as Monty grabbed his hand and dragged him back along the floor lines towards the side of the hall. On the way, Billy noticed a figure carrying an IRQ with its red flag fluttering as he ran in the other direction, back towards the CPU. Moments later, alarm bells somewhere began to ring extremely loudly, so it would have been impossible to get Monty to hear any questions he wanted to ask. The noise was overpowering, and Billy saw that the ‘Standby’ signs had changed from white to yellow and were flashing on and off. They reached the side of the hall, and Billy tried to get his breath back.
Suddenly the ringing noise stopped, and an eerie hush fell over the hall. Everyone was staring at the signs under the clocks, obviously waiting for something to happen. After a few moments, with a loud ‘ping’ noise, the signs turned red, and the word ‘LIVE’ began flashing in white letters. There was a sound like a long ‘Aaaaaah!’ noise as all the occupants in the room released the breath they had obviously been holding.
It was then that pandemonium broke loose.
Chapter 11 Running Live
The illumination in the great hall had suddenly changed from a subdued yellow to a bright white light that initially hurt Billy’s eyes. As he got used to the glare, he saw that signs had appeared above the coloured regions around the sides of the great hall, and the individuals in these areas were running around at great speed, passing notes to backwards and forwards between them. Others were zooming to and from the centre of the hall where the CPU was obviously dealing with queries and issuing instructions at such a fast rate that it almost defied belief. The rider of the trike, who had been moving leisurely around the outside of the great hall when Billy first arrived, was now whizzing around at a tremendous speed – hurling his numbered sheets at those waiting to approach the CPU like a human paper delivery boy. Billy could not understand how the situation in the hall could change so quickly, and how those rushing hither and thither did not crash into each other and kill themselves. They were certainly moving fast enough to do great damage if they did collide, but somehow they seemed to anticipate each other’s movements and there were no accidents. However, the noise of their chatter, the constant rusting of paper sheets, the squealing of the trike’s wheels on the polished floor, the noise of the feet of the runners, and the general whirl of activity in the hall made Billy’s head spin, but he began to feel a little homesick for his home back in the System Memory. At least it was quiet and peaceful there.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” exclaimed Monty waving his arms to encompass the frenetic scene before them, “We’re very lucky to be here when the system if going at full tilt. Look at all the programs that are running!”
He pointed in turn at some of the signs above the coloured regions around the great hall, and Billy read the names as he followed Monty’s pointing finger. Initially he had no idea to what each referred as Monty read them out loud, but Monty’s added comments gave him some clues.
“There’s Outlook – that helps humans organise themselves,” said Monty, “And Word for writing letters. He must be using the Internet, for there are Internet Explorer and Outlook Express,” he added.
Monty went on reading out the names, but Billy’s brain had become overloaded with information. He wondered what an ‘Internet’ could be, and how a computer program could organise a human, but did not wish to appear too ignorant, so contented himself with nodding in apparent agreement to the enthusiastic Monty. However, he started to wonder whether he had done the right thing in apparently trying to get himself promoted, for it did all appear extremely complicated.
“Well, we’d better not hang around here I suppose,” said Monty rather sadly, for it was obvious that he would have like to do nothing better than to stay. “Let’s get you signed up for the Training Program. We’ll have to go back and see Wanda.”
The thought of seeing Wanda again brought about a sudden change in the direction of Billy’s thoughts.
“If I am on the Training Program, and can eventually pass whatever tests they set, and become a more important member of the System,” he said to himself, “It may be that Wanda will take more notice of me. Then of course, there were those rather nice females on the Sound Board, they were nice to me, but I saw that they were all rather more interested in Monty. Perhaps if I get to be a Mail Messenger, or even achieve a higher position, I could do rather well there. Besides, Monty thinks I am bright enough to start the Training Program, so if I work hard it shouldn’t be too difficult. I have already learned a lot since I started on my journey, and didn’t find things too complex for me to understand. I’ve had lots of adventures already, and there could be lots more in store. Yes, all in all, I think I should be all right!”
“Right! Monty my friend,” declared Billy, giving Monty a hearty slap on the back, “Lead on to Wanda and the Training Program. “I rather think I am going to enjoy my chance at a new career!
“OK, OK! Take it easy, said Monty, “You’re stronger than you think,” he said as he staggered under the impact of Billy’s heartiness.
“Sorry!” said Billy absently, as they walked a few more paces. Then he turned to Monty with a dazzling smile and asked, “But do you know what?”
“No! What?” asked Monty, also smiling at his friend’s newly found air of confidence.
“I’m NOT bored at all!” shouted Billy at the top of his voice.
The End
