When they arrived at the cottage, her brothers were there in the front yard. They were trying to look busy, but Chloe knew better. James and Stevie were well acquainted with Louis’s story and they feared Chloe would be his next victim in a mad dash for the Scottish border.
“They don’t like me very much,” Louis pointed out.
“No, they don’t.” There was no use in lying to him. She was about to say that they would come around eventually, but stopped herself. Did she want them to? Did she want Louis to call on her enough that it mattered what her brothers thought of him? In the end, she decided it was best to simply avoid the topic altogether. “Thank you again for this afternoon, Louis. I’m sorry I...um...”
Louis smiled as he helped her from the high perch. “May I call on you again?”
Chloe’s heart paused for a moment, just long enough for her to feel the panic that his question incited. She floundered, trying to decide between lying to spare his feelings and getting the hard part over with right then and there, but in the end decided for mercy.
“That would be wonderful.” And with one last, brilliant smile, Louis was gone.
***
“Are you quite ready, my dear?” Louis asked from the doorway, a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands.
“My goodness,” Chloe exclaimed, jumping from her chair. “There won't be any flowers left in all of Essex if you continue to carry on this way.”
Louis said nothing. Only smiled as he held the flowers out to Chloe. She looked radiant today, in pale green muslin. Just as he remembered her. He watched as she flitted about the shabby kitchen, retrieving a tin cup from the cupboard to fill with the bouquet. There were several other flower-filled tin cups about—five, to be precise. One for every day he'd come to call on her.
“Really, Louis, all these flowers aren't necessary.”
“Of course they are. They're to remind you of me.”
“You're here every day, I hardly need reminders of your existence.”
“I don't want you to forget me in the evenings when I'm not around...or the early mornings.”
Chloe rolled her eyes and smiled. “Where are we going today,” she inquired, changing the subject.
“I thought we would go riding,” Louis said, beaming. “I brought someone special for you.”
“Someone special? I assume you mean of the equine species?” There was a light in her eyes as she teased.
“Come,” he said and then took her by the hand to lead her out the door.
She followed willingly and then gasped when she saw the dark brown mare munching the grass alongside his own gelding.
“She's beautiful!” Chloe exclaimed, making her way cautiously to the animal. “What's her name?”
“Chocolate. Fitting, don't you think?”
“Perfect.”
Louis enjoyed watching her as she approached Chocolate and offered the back of her hand. Chocolate took one sniff and knew what Louis had known all along. That Chloe was a wonderful, kind and gentle woman.
“She likes you,” he observed as the horse nuzzled Chloe's neck. “May I?”
“Oh, of course!”
He lifted her into the side saddle and stood back. “A perfect pair!”
Chloe laughed and petted Chocolate's mane as Louis mounted his own horse, and then they were off.
***
Horrible, awful, painful guilt niggled at Chloe as she trotted alongside Louis this afternoon. Five days. Five days in a row she'd let him call on her. And every day he'd called, she'd allowed him to escort her away from her home on one distracting outing or another. Their excursions through the countryside helped her, if only for a while, to not think about Andrew and his impending marriage to her cousin.
But, poor Louis. He truly thought that filling her house with flowers would help her to think of him. What he didn't know—and what would likely kill him if he did—was that once he dropped her back home every day and rode away, not a single thought was spared for him.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. Except any thoughts she did have were about her guilt and how she should tell him the truth, end their courtship. However, every time she opened her mouth to say something to him, she stopped. She just couldn't do it. Right now, as selfish as it was, she needed him. She needed the distraction. She needed to get away from her house, her family, her own self-pitying thoughts, and have fun, even if only for a couple of hours every afternoon.
As always, their afternoon together was a great deal of fun. Chocolate was a remarkable animal, and Chloe reveled in simply being on her back. She and Louis recounted yet more stories from their childhood, laughing until they cried about the time Sam had run, screaming like a little girl, over the sight of a giant rat that turned out to be nothing more than a baby bunny.
When they turned their mounts onto the lane that lead to the cottage it was near dinner time. The sun was setting rapidly on the horizon, and Chloe could feel Louis staring at her from atop his horse. She didn't dare turn. The last thing she wanted was to meet his longing gaze right now.
“Chloe?” he whispered softly.
“Mmm, hmm?” she replied, keeping her focus on the pink and purple clouds straight ahead.
He waited. Clearly, he was waiting for her to turn to him. To look at him so he could assess if she felt what he was feeling. But she couldn't. She wasn't ready to break his heart. Or to lose his friendship.
“May I...”
“Oh, no.”
The cottage had just come into sight and Chloe spotted her brothers, dressed for an evening at the local pub, waiting by the front door.
“What is it?” Louis asked.
“My brothers.”
Twenty-Two
Stevie and James greeted them as they pulled up in front of the cottage. James helped Chloe from the mare and placed her gently on the ground before offering a conspiratorial wink.
Oh, good heavens. “James, what are you two doing?” she whispered to her brother.
He pulled her a few feet away. “He's called on you every day this week, Clo. We're taking him to the pub.”
“Don't,” she begged. She really didn't need her brothers interfering in her business. They were going to ask what Louis's intentions were, but she already knew. And she needed to disabuse him quickly of any notion that they were ever going to be together.
Her brothers would only make things more difficult.
“Clo, we don't want him running off with you should he have the notion. We want to know that his intentions are honorable.”
“James, they are,” she said, the desperation clear in her voice. “But, please, don't do this.”
James looked at her with a shrewd eye. “Why not? Do you not return his affection?”
Chloe turned to look over her shoulder at Louis, who stood making small talk with Stevie. When she turned back to her brother, his eyes were filled with concern.
“What is it, Clo?”
Oh, goodness. This was it. Only her parents knew of her pregnancy, but eventually, she wouldn't be able to hide it. Her brothers were bound to figure it out sooner or later. But was this the right time to bring it up, with Louis standing with them in the yard?
No, it wasn't. “Just don't be too hard on him, James. He is my friend.”
Her brother gave her another wink and then stalked across the yard to meet Stevie and Louis. Once they hitched the horses to the post, the trio set off toward the local pub.
***
Andrew arrived at Elizabeth’s Cavendish Square home at eleven in the morning, only one week from their wedding date. She wasn’t expecting him, so he wasn’t surprised to see Elizabeth climbing into a carriage. No doubt she was headed to Bond Street to do more shopping for her wedding trousseau. He called out to her and she paused on the foothold to turn to him.
“Oh, Andrew!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I should have written first, but I was visiting my sister up the road and thought you might like to go for a drive
.” He caught sight of the large trunk attached to the back of the coach. “Where are you going?” Clearly not to Bond Street.
“I sent word this morning,” she said, climbing back down to speak with him. “I’m off to Essex for a few days.”
Essex? Why would she go to Essex if not to visit her relations there? Andrew grew ill all of a sudden.
“May I inquire as to why?”
“I received a letter from my cousin Chloe. She’s told me she can’t come to our nuptials. Supposedly, she hasn’t been feeling well lately and cannot make the trip.”
“And you doubt her?”
“Chloe isn’t one to lie,” she assured him, “though I doubt the severity of her illness. But frankly, I could use a few days in the country to clear my head before the wedding. Besides, all of Chloe’s new gowns arrived some time ago and I think she should have them. You paid so much for me to have them made for her, I would imagine you feel the same way.”
The gowns. Of course. He’d been more than willing to supply funds for Elizabeth’s dowdy-looking cousin when she asked. After all, he wouldn’t want his future bride to be seen with someone so ill turned out. At least that’s the reason she used to convince him to sponsor Chloe’s shopping trip. Little did Elizabeth know there was no need for convincing.
“My mother is driving me absolutely mad with wedding details,” she continued. Then she put a hand to Andrew’s cheek and he started at the contact. Elizabeth was rarely so affectionate with him. “You do understand, don’t you, Andrew?”
Not really. “Of course, but when will you be back?”
“I’ll only be a few days.”
Things were spinning out of his control, and he began to worry about this little trip of hers. He was sure that the real reason for Chloe not wanting to be at the wedding was him, and having Elizabeth there would only upset her. His fiancée would surely go on about the wedding and beg her to be a part of it when she saw that Chloe was not in fact sick. And then what? Would it come out what they’d done together? That they’d loved one another?
No, not loved. Andrew was still very much in love with Chloe, but love was not a prerequisite for marriage among his ilk.
He didn’t want to prevent Elizabeth from going—God knew he would appreciate a few days of rest from their heavy social calendar—but how could he let her go under the circumstances?
“What shall I do without you?” he blurted out without thinking.
Elizabeth gaped at him for a moment and then burst into laughter. “You can’t be serious!” she trilled. “What will you do without me?”
Damn. It wasn’t a likely excuse to keep her there, seeing as he was a rather independent man. But what else?
“They’ve got so little room there!”
The laughing stopped and Andrew felt every last ounce of blood drain from his face.
“How would you know anything about my aunt and uncle’s house?” she asked as her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“I don’t,” Andrew amended as the blood rushed back to his face with a vengeance. “I mean, that’s what I’ve heard...from Michael! Of course. How would I know what their house is like?”
Good God, if Elizabeth couldn’t see right through his bold-faced, bumbling lie, he’d be amazed. What an idiot he was! But if she had sensed that he’d been lying, she did not indicate as much. She merely nodded her head slowly and turned back to look at the carriage.
Things had suddenly grown very uncomfortable.
“Well,” she said quietly, “I’d best be going. I want to get there by nightfall.”
“Right.” Andrew leaned down to plant a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Safe travels, then.”
And with that, Elizabeth climbed aboard the carriage and disappeared from sight.
Andrew blew out a long breath. He had a feeling his life was about to get a hell of a lot more complicated.
***
The following morning, as expected, Louis arrived on the cottage doorstep, asking to take Chloe for a walk. She was reluctant to accept. She knew the visit to the pub had gone reasonably well, and her brothers had informed her they approved of Louis, if she decided she wanted to marry him.
Ha! How silly her brothers were. While she valued their opinions and advice, they held no sway over whom she might marry.
Nonetheless, Louis was here, and she had a sinking feeling that she was going to have to confess all, and soon.
She grabbed her shawl from the hook on the way out the door and began walking in the direction of the tree house.
“My curricle is this way, Chloe,” Louis informed her, but she didn’t stop walking.
“I wish to walk today, if you don’t mind,” she called over her shoulder. “I’m feeling a bit restless.”
“Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?”
When she was certain they were far enough away, Chloe turned to face him. Blast it, but this was going to be difficult.
She was about to turn away to walk a little farther when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. She was startled at how fast it happened. Before she could even blink, his arms wrapped around her waist.
“Chloe,” he breathed and for the first time, Chloe realized that his breath smelled horrid. Not tainted with brandywine, like Andrew's, but rank with something akin to rotting onions.
Oh, heavens! He attempted to make eye contact, but Chloe wouldn’t allow it. She averted her gaze as her breathing sped up.
“Louis, please let me go,” she said, her voice as calm as she could manage.
“Just look at me, Chloe, please.”
“Louis, let me go!” She struggled a bit until he finally loosened his grip and released her.
They were both silent for a moment, until Louis said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”
Chloe looked up and noted the shame etched in his brow. Part of her felt sorry for him. She’d known he was in love with her all those years ago, and she knew he was still in love with her now. How foolish of her to lead him on so.
“It’s all right, Louis, I just...I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” She hesitated, remembering the wrong impressions she’d given when they were younger. “I’m sorry I’ve been so...”
Louis chuckled. “Nothing you do could ever change my feelings for you, Chloe. Indeed, marriage to my best friend, and years apart has done little to ease my desires. I do wish you would have said something earlier though. I would have been making greater attempts to win your affection.”
“Please, Louis, don’t do this,” Chloe begged, her heart constricting from the hurt she heard in his voice.
“But I must,” he replied, his voice intense. “Have I no chance in this, Chloe? I know I am far from perfect, and I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past. But my greatest mistake of all was letting you get away.”
“Get away?” Chloe repeated, astonished.
“I gave up! I let Sam have you-”
“I loved Sam and nothing was going to change that.”
“But if I’d just tried harder, paid more attention, don’t you think—”
“No!” Chloe said, looking him square in the eye. “I don’t think.”
And truly she didn’t. She hadn’t thought when she’d invited Andrew to take her to the tree house to make love to her. She hadn’t thought when she’d sent him away. She hadn’t thought when she’d accepted flowers from Louis every single day.
Oh, Lord, why wouldn’t he go away and leave her alone? Her life was complicated enough without him vying for her attention.
“Please, Chloe,” he begged. “I would never ask you to think of me in the way you thought of Sam. But a man can hope, can he not? Perhaps if you’d only give me the chance...”
Chloe’s heart raced as she stood there, staring at Louis. What he offered was not entirely absurd. She couldn’t live with her family forever, and Louis would soon inherit his father’s land. That meant security for her and her baby.
But she couldn’t s
ay yes without telling him about her condition. Shaking, she took his hand.
“Louis, there is something you must know about me, and I strongly believe it will alter your desires.”
“No, Chloe,” he whispered. “Nothing could ever change my mind about you.”
“You mustn’t speak so soon,” she said with a forced chuckle.
“Well, go on.”
Chloe took a deep breath and said, “I am with child.”
Louis gave very little reaction for having heard such a statement. “I beg your pardon?”
“I know this must come as quite a shock. Indeed, I’m still rather shocked myself. Nonetheless, I am going to have a baby.” There was a pause while she studied him, trying to gauge his reaction. Then she asked, “Now, do you still want me?”
Louis stood there, gaping, his hazel eyes wide. “I-I don’t know what to say. Whose is it?”
“Louis!”
“I have a right to know whose baby you’re carrying if I’m going to father it...potentially,” he added lamely.
“Louis, how can you even think such a thing?” Chloe began walking again, her frustration mounting.
“Because I love you.”
“No, you don’t, Louis! You love who I was.”
“And are you not still that same person? It’s been a long time, Chloe, but not so long that you have lost those qualities that I fell in love with so long ago.”
“I am carrying a child out of wedlock, Louis,” she said, emphasizing every word.
“If it is shame you are afraid of, then I will claim the child as my own.”
“No.”
He pushed on, ignoring her protests. “I will acquire a special license.”
“No!”
“We will be wed by the week’s end and no one will ever know your disgrace.”
“Stop!” Chloe turned to face him, fuming. “I am not disgraced,” she said as tears pooled in her eyes. “This child was created out of love.”
“Love?”
“Yes, love! What did you think? That I’d tupped a local drunkard?”
The Wary Widow Page 18
