by K. L. Myers
Seven years ago, I vowed to protect her from anything, even her father. If she is pregnant with my child, I’ll do right by her. I’ll be the one to tell her father and face the consequences of our actions. “Before you worry too much more, Lillian, call and get an appointment. Contact a private physician off campus, and I’ll pay for the visit. DO NOT use your insurance or your credit cards. No sense alerting anyone until we know for sure. Then, if the outcome is what you suspect, I’ll be the one to tell everyone. Like I’ve told you over and over again, Principessa, I’ll protect you with my life. Mine for yours forever.”
My gut spins out of control later that afternoon when my phone rings and the caller ID reads VICCI. Could he have heard already? Did Ashlynn betray Lillian’s confidence? I can’t imagine she would; those two are thick as thieves and closer than sisters. I swipe the phone and answer, “Mr. Vicci, what can I do for you, sir?” and cross my fingers that this unexpected call has nothing to do with Lillian.
“Angelo, my boy, I’m sorry to be making this call, but I need you home immediately.” My spine goes rigid at his statement. Something must be seriously wrong for him to request my presence.
“Mr. Vicci, am I to bring Lillian with me?”
“No, my boy, no reason to disrupt her life. I’ve already reached out to Lazana. His men will watch out for her while you are away.”
I don’t like the idea that another man will be in our home alone with her. “Mr. Vicci, sir, who will be staying with her, may I ask? I want to be sure she is safe. I haven’t left her side since I took this assignment when you asked me seven years ago.”
“No one, Angelo. I’ve given strict instructions that no one is to disrupt her daily schedule. They are to observe, protect, and report. Having someone she doesn’t know take over in her life will not bode well with her. Though I don’t like her being left alone. I will send a plane for you first thing tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow night, son.”
I disconnect the phone and go in search of Lillian. I didn’t expect to find her sitting on the balcony, but that is where I find her, textbook in hand. “Principessa, we need to see if we can find a doctor who will see you first thing tomorrow. I’ve got to go back to New York, and I want us to have this all sorted out before I leave.”
Lillian closes her textbook and stands. “Is everything alright, Ang? Why are you going to New York?”
“I don’t know, Lillian. Your father has requested my presence, and by the sound of his voice, it seems very important. Some of Lazana’s men will be watching over you.” I can tell immediately that she is not happy when I mention Lazana. “Don’t worry, Principessa. They will not be staying with you, only watching out for you.”
Lillian was able to secure an appointment for ten this morning. Though she isn’t pregnant, the news was equally devastating. As I board the plane, my stomach does somersaults. I don’t want to have to leave Lillian alone now that we have an idea of what could possibly be wrong with her. I know she needs me, but I have no choice. Her father demands my presence, and there is no arguing with Francesco Vicci, especially when I would have to disclose the news of Lillian’s doctor's appointment if I wanted to stay, and Lillian made me promise that I would not share anything about this morning’s appointment. She is adamant about being the one to share the news when the time is right.
Chapter 9
LILLIAN
I was so sure the results of the test were going to confirm I was pregnant. I was so not prepared to find out that I have Premature Ovarian Failure, or at least that’s what my symptoms indicate. The physician took a sample of my blood to check my FSH and Estradiol levels. The results will be back later this week, but he was pretty sure that POF will be the diagnosis. Learning that you will probably never conceive a child is not something you want to do when the man you love is headed east to see your father, leaving you alone to stew in the fact that you’ll never be a mother.
When Angelo left, I was still sitting on the couch bawling. I could see it was tearing him apart to leave me alone, but Father called, and when Father calls, everyone in hearing range jumps to his attention.
It isn’t long after that I finally suck it up and call Ashlynn. “That’s it.” Her voice is stern. “I’m coming to see you, and I don’t care what anyone says. I’m staying for as long as you want me to.” Though I want to be alone, the knowledge that my best friend will be visiting very soon starts the healing process and settles my somewhat broken heart. It isn’t too long after I hang up with Ashlynn that Angelo calls to check in on me. He just landed at JFK and is on the way to my father. Word spread fast that Ashlynn is coming to visit, fast enough that Angelo also feels relieved that I won’t be alone.
“Don’t you leave the house, Principessa. I’ve already arranged for a car to meet Ashlynn and drive her to you. I don’t know these men watching over you as well as I would have liked to before I left, so I’d prefer that you spend as little time in public as possible.”
I want to scream at Ang to stop being so overprotective, but I, too, realize that this is the first time we’ve ever been separated since I turned twelve. To think that I once thought I hated him all those years ago and wanted to be rid of him. Now, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be without him.
“Jesus Christ,” Ashlynn calls out to me, her voice wheezing as she coughs. “You run this every morning?”
I spin around, jogging in place, waiting for her to catch up. “Yep, three and a half miles. See that radar dish up there?” I point to the top of the hill. “That’s the end goal. From there, you’ll be able to see as far as San Francisco, San Jose, and the East Bay since it’s a clear day. Trust me, it’s worth the exercise.”
Huffing and puffing, Ashlynn finally catches up to me. “Hey, what’s that dish for anyway?”
“It’s a way for the government to communicate with satellites and spacecraft. So, be careful what you say; they may just hear you.” I’m laughing at her, of course, because there is no way anyone can hear what she’s saying, but I love fucking with her. “If you don’t get arrested, maybe later this week, I’ll sneak us out to Half Moon Bay, and you can check out all the surfers. Who knows, maybe you’ll find some hottie to hook up with!” I yell as I dash ahead once again.
This is usually a run that Ang and I take together. My heart feels a little bit heavier knowing that I have no idea when he’ll return. There are several runners behind me who look out of place. I’m sure they are Lazana’s men. For the most part, they’ve stayed pretty well hidden, but on a path full of tourists and locals, they stand out, at least to me they do.
Last night, when Angelo called to check in on me, I asked what was going on and when he’d be back. But I got no answers from him other than “Family business” and “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to return.” Something in his voice was different and distant, leaving an uneasy feeling in my heart.
Chapter 10
ANGELO
I thought the worst news I could have ever gotten was to hear that Lillian could possibly never have children. I was wrong. The worst news I could have ever received was from my father. The minute the plane landed at JFK, Mr. Vicci and my father greeted me on the tarmac.
“Son,” my father said, “the Grandanettis have your mother and sister. Tonight, we strike back, bring your mother and sister home and end the life of every member of their family.”
Christ, my mother and sister being held hostage was never anything I ever expected to hear. God was punishing me for my actions. Taking Lillian’s virginity and even daring to dream that I could have a life with her as something other than her bodyguard has cursed her and my family. This is my punishment for being a selfish man.
Killing doesn’t bother me. I feel nothing when I kill. It doesn’t haunt me, the thought of taking a life, because I know those lives belong to men equally as evil as I am. There is no honor in what I do. Lillian once called me her Jekyll and Hyde. She knew what I did for the family, but she saw the real me underneath it
all. That’s the selfish me who thought I could have everything. I can’t change yesterday, but I can change tomorrow, and that is why I can’t go back to her. I can’t sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed, and smell her sweet smell, feel her warm body next to mine, and stay sane.
No, when this is all over, and my mom and sister are safe, I’ll agree to go back and protect Lillian, but only from afar. My penance will be to give up the only thing I truly love.
It’s two a.m., and the streets of Brooklyn are quiet, except for the unsavory gangster or two looking for trouble. I didn’t expect to come across the Grandanetti brothers stopped at a red light, but I do, and it is an opportunity I can’t pass up. Beside me is my old sawed-off double barrel shotgun and a perfect opportunity. I pull up next to them at the light, gun already perched on my arm for leverage. The moment they turn to see who pulled up beside them, they know they are dead. I see it in their eyes as I pull the trigger. Two bullets, two heads. I wasn’t expecting that bullet to take Marcus Grandanetti’s head off, but it did, clean off his shoulders, and the second landed right between Tony’s eyebrows. The light turns green, and away I drive, no one the wiser on the streets, but the family will know a message was sent. The only problem now is getting to my family before they have the chance to retaliate. By the time I am done tonight, the only one standing will be Alberto Grandanetti. I’ll leave him for my father to kill. That vengeance will be his as retribution for taking his wife and daughter.
As I pull into the Capricorn Lounge, I know I’ll find Gianni, Alberto’s second in command, there with a few of his guys. Just a little sodium cyanide will end them all at once. Ivy is waiting out back for me; she owns this joint, and I hate getting her involved in this, but she is my sister’s best friend and loyal to our family. I hand her a tiny vial. “How many are in there with Gianni?” My eyes are glancing around to ensure no prying eyes will spot us together. My jaw twitches while I wait for her response.
“Just Gianni and Cosimo.” Her reply is quick.
“Good. Take this vial. DO NOT”—I emphasize the words—“get this on your skin, do you hear me?” Ivy’s head nods in acknowledgment. “Pour half into two drinks. When you get to their table, I want you to accidentally spill them. Be sure both men are covered with the contents. Apologize for your clumsiness and get them bar towels, but DO NOT touch any liquid or the glasses. Do you understand me, Ivy?” I want to be sure she understands the seriousness of what I am telling her. “Anyone who comes in contact with this liquid will die, Ivy. This is sodium cyanide; it will soak through their clothes and into their pores. They’ll be dead in minutes. I’ll take care of the rest.”
"For the family, to benefit the family,” she says as she presses her fist to her chest several times.
I acknowledge her statement, kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll send a cleanup crew. They’ll be here in fifteen. I’ll be expecting to hear from you once it’s done.”
When I arrive at the Grandanetti warehouse, my father and his men have already had several Grandanetti grunts tied to chairs. My mother and sister are being ushered through the back door and out to safety. Reaching behind me, I pull both guns from behind my back and walk over to two of the men. “Brotherhood above God and family, you chose the wrong family,” I say as I place the barrel of each gun under their chins and pull the trigger.
“Alberto is yours, Dad. He’ll be home. I’d stake my life on it.” My dad acknowledges what I’ve told him. “Do you want me to handle it, or do you want the honors, Dad?”
“I’ve got this, son. Head home and make sure your mom and sister are okay. They didn’t appear to be harmed, but I want Luca to make sure they are healthy. I’ll see you there later.”
It isn’t long after I’ve gone home that Mr. Vicci is summoning me to appear before him. When I walk through the door, he stands, pointing for me to take a seat opposite him.
“Angelo, I like the way you handled yourself. Fast, lethal, loyal. Now, I need you back in California quickly.”
I sit straight up, my back rigid. I need to stand my ground this time if I want things to work the way I need them to. “Mr. Vicci, sir, I know it has only been a few days that Lillian has been alone, but what I’ve come to learn over the last year or so is that Lillian is a strong woman. She needs her independence.” I hold up my hand as Mr. Vicci tries to interrupt me. “I’m not saying I don’t want to watch over her, but I’d like to do it without her knowing. Let her have some freedom, or at least think she has freedom. You know her as well as I do. She will fight you if you don’t let her be her own woman. She doesn’t need to know I’m there. Tell her things require me to be back here in New York. I can easily protect her without having to be by her side twenty-four seven. I’ve proven myself tonight, haven’t I?”
“You have, son. I’m not sure I like this idea, but you are correct; she is stubborn. I will try it your way, but if something goes wrong…”
Before he can finish, I add, “I’ll pay with my life and my family’s. Yes, I understand.”
As I walk out of Mr. Vicci’s office, I shoot off a text to Lillian.
Me: I’m not coming back, Principessa. This cannot work between us. I’m setting you free. Do not contact me again for your own safety.
Four weeks after that first text, Lillian tries to call me. She sends me numerous texts, but I refuse them all and don’t reply. I watch as she cries for days, my heart breaking. It kills me not to go to her and hold her, tell her I was an idiot, and beg for forgiveness. But once again, God warns me of what will happen if I even attempt to follow through. His warning comes in the form of a stalker outside her home one evening. I’ve watched him for weeks; he followed her to and from school. Made notes of her every move. But what he didn’t know was that I, too, was following her and watching him. I wait patiently until he tries to make his move and break into her home. Before he has the opportunity, my blade is slicing across his throat. I toss him in a dumpster not too far away from where she lives.
Finally, Lillian begins to live again. Ashlynn enrolls the next summer, which is a blessing and a curse at the same time. She is there to hold Lillian through the nights I can’t, but she is also there to hook her up with a few double dates. I want to rip the douchebags limb from limb, and every time one of them touches her or kisses her, my anger ratchets beyond control and my heart breaks a bit more. It doesn’t truly shatter until years later, though, when I watch her give herself to some billionaire playboy. I watch like a Peeping Tom as she makes love to him and calls out his name in ecstasy. It isn’t until then that I know I’ve lost her forever.
Chapter 11
Seven Years Later
LILLIAN
I stand on the corner of Flatbush and DeKalb and stare at the vintage diner that sits here. The red neon sign glows ‘Junior’s Restaurant’, only now it also reads ‘Bar’ and ‘Cocktails’ in white. Only this part of the signage is new and different; white bulbs shine bright like an old-style Vegas sign. It has been forever since I’ve been to Junior’s. As a kid, I loved coming here. Stepping inside brings me back to my childhood. Mother and I would stop in and grab a slice of good ole plain New York style cheesecake on special occasions. I spot an open booth, take a seat, and reach for my cell phone. It’s been a long time since I’ve sent a text to Angelo, and I don’t even know if he still has the same number, but it’s worth a chance.
ME: I know you’re there, so join me. We need to talk.
I don’t have to look up from my menu to know the black leather jacket that just slid into the booth belongs to Angelo. The scent of his cologne permeates my nostrils. It’s the same cologne he wore so many years ago. There was a time when I would have been excited to be sitting here with him, but today those feelings are just a distant memory.
I lower my menu and see the face I once loved. He’s aged some; there are a few wrinkles that weren’t there the day he walked out and never came back. My heart aches briefly from the memory of how he ripped my world apart, but then anger
sets in.
“All these years, Angelo, you’ve been watching over me, and not once did you feel the need to let me know you were alright?” I’m angry now, and I can see in his eyes that he knows it.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Principessa. It was a long time ago.”
There is no emotion in his eyes, no regret, no sadness. Nothing, and it pisses me off more. “That’s it? You have nothing to say about tossing me aside when I needed you most? You ignored me, wouldn’t return my calls or messages. I felt like nothing more than a common piece of trash that you discarded when you found out I was defective. Do you know what that does to a nineteen-year-old who is head over heels in love with you? And now to find out that all these years you’ve still been there with me every second of every day, and not once did you think it was important to let me know.”
I count to ten to let myself calm down, and he just sits there, not saying a word but looking straight into my eyes as if he knows there is more to come. “I was willing to live in this lifestyle if I had you, Angelo. Now I’m sucked back in with no end in sight, and I’m alone. I have no one to turn to for help, and as bad as I want out of here and back to my normal way of life, I don’t see it happening.”
The tears start to fall because I know I’m never going to get away again. My family will never let me go, and the one person who could have made living in this hell worthwhile is sitting across from me without a care in the world about how I feel. I want to believe that I see hurt and guilt in his eyes, but he’s a con man, a liar; that’s what he does for a living. Makes you believe things are perfectly fine, right up to the minute he puts a bullet through your brain or slashes your throat with a knife. He’s a killer by design.
