But the thought of her with another man, even Joel, annoyed him. Images of them together ripped through his brain, making him want to do some ripping of his own. Like maybe taking Joel apart, limb by limb. He drew in a deep breath and reminded himself of his higher purpose in all this. While he might want Cassie, he couldn’t have her. He was emotionally incapable of providing her with all that she needed and deserved. However, Joel could give her that. So they belonged together.
He walked into the kitchen to check on Cassie. Before he got there, he reminded himself he had to act casual about the whole thing. While she knew that he’d invited Joel to dinner, she didn’t know that he planned to disappear right after the meal, leaving the two lovebirds to work things out.
Cassie looked up from the pot she was stirring. “I hope you like spaghetti,” she said. “Charity dropped off some sauce when she was here a couple of weeks ago, and I defrosted it for tonight’s meal. It’s the famous Wright family recipe.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
He studied Cassie’s face, but as usual, she looked calm and incredibly attractive. Her soft pink sweater hugged her torso, outlining her breasts and making his skin twitch. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to hold her and be with her and…
Stop it! he ordered himself. This wasn’t about him. He had to remember what was important.
“It was very nice of you to invite Joel for dinner,” Cassie said. “I’d been worried that he wasn’t getting out much since we broke up. Joel isn’t the most social guy on the planet. Work was always his whole life.”
“He seemed a little subdued,” Ryan said. “I could tell he hadn’t been sleeping much.”
At least that part of it was true. Joel had looked exhausted, although he’d been plenty cheerful.
“You never did say what you were doing over at Bradley Discount,” Cassie said, setting down her spoon and facing him. “Had you been there before?”
“I was checking out toys for Sasha. Christmas is less than two months away.” It was a pitiful excuse, but the best he could come up with under the circumstances. No way was he going to tell her he’d gone to the store expressly to see Joel and had spent nearly an hour tracking the man down. Nor was he going to mention Joel’s reluctance to join them for dinner.
Ryan grimaced as he remembered how he’d even taken the time to assure the younger man that there was nothing between Cassie and himself. Despite the fact that he wanted her to the exclusion of all other women.
“You were Christmas shopping? By yourself? In November?” Cassie asked the questions in a tone of disbelief usually reserved for questioning murder suspects.
“I can if I want to,” he said, then practically sighed in relief when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get that.”
He made it halfway down the hall, paused, and returned to the kitchen. “Maybe you should get it.”
Cassie stared at him. “What on earth is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
The doorbell rang again.
“One of us had better get it,” she muttered and headed out of the kitchen.
Ryan trailed after her. He didn’t want to intrude on their greeting, but he also wanted to witness the event. If things looked like they were heating up instantly, he would hide out in his office and quietly drink himself into oblivion.
Cassie pulled open the door. “Hi, Joel.”
“Cassie!” He swept her into a big bear hug.
Ryan had to resist the urge to jerk her out of the other man’s embrace, all the while reminding himself that this had been his idea. Still, he hadn’t thought it would hurt so much to watch her in Joel’s arms. He turned away.
“Wow, you’re so different,” Cassie said. “What happened?”
Joel laughed. “Do you like it?”
Ryan glanced back and saw Cassie staring at Joel as if she’d never seen him before. “You’re in contacts,” she said and touched his face. “Your hair is styled and you’re wearing new clothes.”
“It’s the new me.”
A new look? Great, Ryan thought, trying to muster a little enthusiasm. Obviously Joel was trying to make a good impression. It seemed like everything was going to work out fine. He was thrilled. Really.
He cleared his throat and stepped forward. “Joel, thanks for joining us for dinner. Come on in.”
There was the usual flurry and confusion of getting settled and taking drink orders. Cassie excused herself to check on Sasha, who had been put in bed a half hour before.
While she was gone, Ryan searched for something to say to Joel. “How’s business?”
“Great. I’ve been talking to some people and they think I’ve got a real chance at making it to president of Bradley Discount.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice to a confidential whisper. “I’ve been thinking about making a switch. There are a lot more opportunities with the big chains. I might give that a try. It would mean moving, of course, but that’s not a problem anymore. Cassie never wanted to leave Bradley, but I think I would like to see the world. Maybe even move to the Bay area.”
Ryan stared at the younger man. He did look different. The new hairstyle swept back from his face, giving him a “young executive” look. His clothes were expensive, as was his obviously new watch. Something had happened to Joel in the couple of weeks he’d been single. Something Ryan didn’t like at all.
He was torn between defending Cassie’s desire to stay close to home and pointing out that a move to the Bay area was hardly seeing the world. Before he could decide, Cassie returned and took her seat on the sofa.
Unfortunately, when they first came into the living room, Joel had taken one of the wing chairs, leaving Ryan and Cassie the sofa. Still, Joel was across from her and eye contact was very powerful. At least it was when Cassie looked at him.
She took a sip of her white wine. “I can’t get over the changes. You look terrific, Joel.”
“Thanks.” He half raised his hand, then put it back in his lap. “I’ve worn glasses for so long that it’s difficult to get used to being without them, but I like the contacts.” He cleared his throat. “So how are you doing?”
“I’m fine.”
She gave him one of her best smiles, the one that always made Ryan want to rush her into his bed. Joel didn’t seem affected. The ungrateful twit.
“I’ve been keeping busy with Sasha. She’s a handful, but such a sweet girl.”
Cassie continued talking about her job, and then filled Joel in on news about her family. The other man pretended to listen, but Ryan could tell his attention was elsewhere. Then it hit him. Joel had asked about Cassie’s life to be polite, but he wasn’t interested in the answer. What he wanted instead was to talk about his life.
Ryan took a hefty swallow of beer and wished he’d chosen something stronger, like Scotch. He had a bad feeling about what was about to happen. He opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of anything to say. It was like watching two trains on the same track. They were going to collide and all he could do was helplessly stand by.
“So what’s new with you?” she finally asked, then smiled. “Aside from the great new look.”
He scooted forward in his chair. “A lot. I have to tell you, Cass, when you first broke up with me, I thought you were crazy. All your talk about wanting more, about passion. I figured it was some female thing and you’d get over it in a couple of days.”
He shrugged. “The thing was, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything you’d told me. It started to make sense, sort of, and then I got this feeling you weren’t going to change your mind. I began to realize you’d meant what you said.”
“I did,” she said. “I’m glad you see that. I think we’re both happier this way.”
Ryan had to grind his teeth to keep from speaking out. This was not how he’d planned their con
versation. They were supposed to be talking about how much they missed each other. Maybe he was the problem. If he left the room, at least they would have privacy. But he couldn’t think of a smooth way to make that happen, so he hunched down in the corner of the sofa and pretended not to be there.
“I am happier,” Joel said, sounding sheepish and proud at the same time. “I got real confused about everything, so I asked Alice to dinner. She’s the assistant manager of the Bradley Discount pet department. Redhead, about so tall.” He held up his hand, indicating a tiny woman.
A knot formed in Ryan’s stomach. The trains were only a few feet apart now. The impact was going to be felt for miles.
“I told her everything you’d said and then asked for her opinion. I figured with her being female and all, she’d have a better idea than I did as to what was going on.”
“What happened?” Cassie asked.
Ryan closed his eyes. He didn’t want to know.
“Well, it was the strangest thing. Partway through the meal, she told me that I should forget all about you. It seems that she’s had a thing for me for about two years. She told me she was in love with me. You can imagine how shocked I was.”
Not nearly as shocked as me, Ryan thought grimly. He wanted to groan out loud. He wanted to rant and rave and throw things and beat the hell out of Joel for giving up on Cassie in the first place.
He risked a glance at Cassie. She was nodding intently, as if the story was interesting but didn’t have anything to do with her personally. “What did you say?”
“Nothing. I listened. Then she invited me back to her place.”
Ryan thought about throwing Joel out, but it was too late. What had gone wrong? Why weren’t they getting back together? He knew what the other man was going to say next. The trains impacted and the room shook. He seemed to be the only one who noticed.
“I spent the night. Actually, I spent two days there.” Joel grinned like a kid who’d hit his first home run. “I even called in sick, which, as you know, I’ve never done before.”
“That’s true. You always prided yourself on your perfect attendance.” Cassie’s voice was calm. Ryan wanted to crawl under a rock.
“It’s just like you said,” Joel told her. “With Alice, I feel the passion. It’s amazing. We talk about everything. There’s so much to say and never enough time. We can’t seem to get out of bed.” He looked at her and grinned. “Cass, I owe you for this. I’ve never been happier. Alice is exactly who I belong with. You were right. I should have known. You always were the smart one in the relationship.”
“Joel, I’m happy for you.”
Ryan thought he was going to be sick.
“Is it serious?” she asked.
“Yeah. We’re, uh, sort of living together.”
“Already?” Ryan asked before he could stop himself. “Do you think that’s wise?”
“Sure. We’re getting married. I bought her a beautiful engagement ring. Nearly two carats in diamonds. It’s—” Joel paused and, for the first time, seemed uncomfortable. “Sorry, Cassie. That wasn’t nice, was it? I didn’t mean to imply—”
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “It’s fine. You gave me the promise ring when we were both kids. Now you’re a man. Of course you would do things differently.”
Ryan had forgotten about the diamond-lint ring. The little piece of animal refuse had cheated Cassie out of a decent engagement ring, too.
“Anyway,” Joel plunged on as if determined to tell his story, regardless of whom he hurt, “we’re heading over to Las Vegas at the end of the month. This close to the holidays we had a hard time getting four days off together, but I pulled a few strings. We’ll be married then. We know we want to be together forever, and don’t see the point of waiting.”
He made the last statement with a note of defiance in his voice, as if he expected someone to tell him that he was acting impetuously. Ryan was more than ready to do it, but he was too stunned by everything that had happened. The evening wasn’t supposed to play out this way. Joel was supposed to have taken one look at Cassie and begged her to come back. They would have talked, she would have agreed, end of problem.
“I’m very happy for both of you,” Cassie said. She rose to her feet, walked around the coffee table, then bent over and kissed Joel’s cheek. “I mean that completely.”
“Are you sure?” Joel asked, his weasel eyes searching her face. “I wouldn’t have told you if I thought you still cared.”
Yeah, right, Ryan thought bitterly. He couldn’t wait to gloat. No doubt he figured Cassie would be destroyed by the information, kicking herself for letting him get away. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. Somehow he, Ryan, would figure out a way to make it right. Although his track record at fixing things was currently pretty crummy.
“I’m completely sure,” Cassie told him. “Joel, we had nine lovely years together. I’ll always remember them fondly. I hope you will, too. But at the end we both knew it was time to move on. I’m so pleased that you’ve found your heart’s desire.”
“Thanks, Cassie.” Weasel-boy squeezed her hand.
Cassie flashed him a smile. “I need to check on dinner. I’ll be right back.”
Ryan gave her a thirty-second lead, excused himself and raced after her into the kitchen.
“Cassie, I’m so sorry,” he said as he burst into the room. “If I’d known that little ingrate had gone and done this, I never would have invited him over. Are you doing okay? Do you want me to send him home? I could beat him up for you.”
Cassie glanced up from the tray of garlic bread she was about to place in the oven. She laughed. “What a generous offer. No one has offered to beat up another person for me before. You’re being very sweet and I appreciate your concern, but I meant what I told Joel. I’m fine.”
She left the garlic bread and crossed to stand by him. “I’m the one who ended the relationship. It was my idea.”
“You could be having second thoughts.”
“I could, but I’m not.”
Ryan wanted to believe her. He stared deeply into her dark eyes, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Obviously the pain was too great for her to even conceive of it yet. “I’ll go beat him up.”
As he turned, Cassie grabbed his arm. “Don’t. Joel hasn’t done anything wrong. I really am happy about the new lady in his life. I swear.” She made an X on her chest. “Just let it be and enjoy the evening. I’m going to.”
“Sure,” he muttered and stalked out of the kitchen. Enjoy the evening. No problem.
* * *
IT WAS THE longest two hours of Ryan’s life. All through dinner, and afterward, while he sipped coffee and apparently had no plans to leave anytime soon, all Joel talked about was Alice. Alice was brilliant, Alice was witty, Alice was charming and insightful and well-read and probably three days away from curing several lethal diseases.
Ryan sipped his brandy and admitted the last thought hadn’t been completely accurate. But, dammit, Joel was getting on his nerves. He wanted Weasel-boy out of his house.
“We’re going to put off having children for a few years,” Joel was saying. “Alice and I want to spend time with each other first.”
“Very wise,” Cassie said. “Once the little ones start coming, everything changes.”
As she’d been all evening, Cassie was the picture of poise. A lovely and gracious hostess. Ryan ached for her and wished there was something to do to help her feel better. In his arrogance, he’d tried to fix her life. Instead he’d made it worse. She must feel as if she was trapped in hell.
Finally, a little after ten, Joel pushed back his chair and stood up. “I should head home.”
About time, Ryan thought. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. But he didn’t say that. Instead he offered the other man a t
ight smile and led the way to the foyer.
They said their goodbyes quickly. When he was gone, Ryan closed the door behind him and leaned against the frame. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“You’ve already apologized. I told you then there was no need. There still isn’t.”
She walked back into the dining room and started clearing the table. Ryan trailed after her. “I don’t believe you. You have to be in pain. This is awful and it’s all my fault. I was an arrogant fool who thought he could fix everything. All I’ve done instead is make the situation worse. I’m sorry.”
Cassie sank down into a chair and wondered how offended Ryan would be if she started laughing. He obviously believed her heart was breaking and that she was within a hairbreadth of losing it completely.
“I appreciate the concern,” she said as she stared at him. “You are a very kind man to worry about me. But as I said before, I’m fine.”
“Cassie, a month ago you were going to marry Joel. Now he’s living with someone else who he plans to marry at the end of this month. You can’t tell me that doesn’t matter.”
“You have a point,” she said. “I feel strange hearing about the changes in Joel’s life. As a friend, I’m a little worried that he’s moved so quickly. But deep down inside, I don’t feel anything. I’m not sorry I ended our relationship. I don’t wish he were marrying me instead.” She allowed herself a small smile. “I’m a little bitter about the engagement ring—it sounds beautiful. However, I would like to point out that if my biggest worry is that he spent twenty times more on her ring than mine, then I’m obviously not going to be destroyed by all that’s happened. I don’t have any regrets.”
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