by Melody Anne
“Yes, we all know you’re fucking him.” I grimaced. “Glad we got that cleared up.”
“No.” She turned to the window and the glass fogged up as she continued to speak.
I touched her shoulder. “I didn’t quite get that.”
She rounded on me and swatted my hand away. “He fucking dumped me, okay?”
Even without physically hearing them, I could see by the way she spit out the words that they were coated in anger. “Wha— Why would he do that?”
“How should I know? I mean, he said something about our relationship only being superficial and he didn’t want to be with me since he didn’t feel anything for me.”
I’d never seen her like this. Her hands gripped the handles of her designer purse so tight, I wondered if she would draw blood from her palms.
Her words bounced through my brain. Something about them seemed familiar. Like a smell that suddenly triggers a childhood memory. Leila once mentioned something about Gavin dating girls for the press, but that wasn’t it. I started the car as the thoughts tugged at my brain, struggling to reveal what lurked beneath my skull.
“I’m so sorry, Veronica,” I lied. “I really thought you two were a good match.”
“Whatever. Just shut up and drive.”
Rush hour in Fernbrooke wasn’t like rush hour in the places I’d seen on television. Three cars occupied the road ahead of me, and one or two passed us going the other direction as we headed toward the lake.
I gnawed on my lip as I focused on Veronica’s words. Gavin dumped her. Something made him realize he didn’t want the type of relationship he had with her.
Or someone?
Shit.
I slammed the brakes as a light winked from yellow to red and gasped as my seat belt cut into my ribs.
Veronica slapped my arm. “Elise! What the hell?”
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t see it change.”
As I waited for the light to turn back to green, I fumbled through memories of the night of the party. It was me who’d told Gavin he shouldn’t be with Veronica.
Right before I’d passed out in his bed.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.
I should’ve stopped, let Veronica out, then driven myself right into the lake. It would’ve been easier than facing Gavin again. Or having Veronica find out I was the reason for her misery.
I resisted the urge to sink my car into oblivion and instead turned into the parking lot. Veronica stomped all the way to the set and I lingered behind her, keeping my head down and my eyes focused on the ground.
They were recording another night scene, and the beach was lit with several fluorescent lights to mimic the effect of the moon. When we reached the spot they’d set up for filming that night, I risked a glance around. Leila was the focus of this scene. She stood in front of the camera, hair braided down her back, studying a map.
I exhaled when I realized Tanner and Gavin weren’t going to be called until later. Veronica found an empty chair and slumped in it, for once actually looking at her script and pretending to do what I’d hired her for.
A warm hand slipped into mine and tugged me from the beach. I followed the hand with my eyes, up a well-defined arm, to an even better-defined shoulder, over a muscular neck, and right into the face of Gavin Hartley. He placed a finger to his lips.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer till we cleared the trees and stood alone beside his trailer. He opened the tiny door with the name DAG on the front.
I shook my head. “I’m not going in there till you tell me what this is about.”
His body deflated with a sigh. “I just wanted to talk to you. Aubrey isn’t happy with me right now, and I figured it’d be easier if I could get you away from her. Also, I have something for you.”
“What is it?”
He disappeared into the trailer. I tapped my foot against the pavement as I waited. When I started to think he assumed I’d just follow him inside, he emerged with a bag bearing the logo of the hotel from the party.
“Here are your clothes,” he said.
“You have them?” I snatched the bag and peered inside. My slutty skirt and blouse lay folded and pressed. The torturous shoes sat on top of them. I looked back up at him.
“I had the hotel wash them for you,” Gavin said. “You kind of threw up all over them. The concierge dropped them off in the morning, but I guess you didn’t see them outside the door when you left.”
No. I didn’t. I was too busy bolting down the stairs in bare feet and a robe.
“You’re the one who took off my clothes?” My grip tightened around the bag and I hugged it to my stomach, as though it might block the memory of what he’d seen there.
“I had to,” he said. “I couldn’t let you sleep like that. Housekeeping had to clean the rug you ruined. I think that’s going on my bill.”
I eyed the bag and wondered if it was big enough for my head. I could live like that. A bag forever pasted over my face. Cut a couple eyeholes and a nose hole and I’d be fine. Actually, screw that. I didn’t need to see or breathe ever again.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “I’m so sorry. I can pay the bill, if you like.”
“You also threw up in the closet. All over my Louis Vuitton shoes.”
“I can pay for those, too.”
He chuckled. “They cost ten thousand dollars.”
I choked out a gasp of surprise. My mind whirled to my depleting bank account, soon to be tapped further by Veronica’s final payment.
“They make shoes that cost that much?”
“Relax,” he said. “They were given to me to wear to last year’s Oscars. I didn’t actually pay anything for them.”
“Okay.” I chewed the word, trying to make something more out of it, but my head kept replaying the memory of me throwing up in a closet and having one of the world’s most popular movie stars discover it.
I really should’ve driven into the lake.
“Well, thank you,” I finally managed. “Again, I’m sorry. Those words seem to be my mantra since the party. I’m really bad at this drinking thing, huh?”
“It’s fine in moderation, but you weren’t moderating by a long shot.” He switched to signing. Are you . . . are you okay?
He touched my hair and wrapped a straw-colored lock around his finger. Using it like a lure, he moved closer to me with each twirl.
You broke up with Aubrey.
He stopped. Yes.
Was it because of me? Because of what I said? I was drunk. I had no right to say those things.
It was only partly what you said. Mostly it was because of you.
I’m sorry, I signed. I had no right to say any of that.
No, I’m glad you did. You were right. She wasn’t what I’ve been looking for.
He was so close I could smell the minty toothpaste scent wafting through his lips.
“Oh.” I swallowed. “And what have you been looking for?”
You.
There was no time for me to think. No time for me to tell him he was making a big mistake and I wasn’t who he thought I was. There was no time to say no.
Because there, on the side of Honeycomb Lake, by the light of only his trailer, Gavin Hartley kissed me.
I’d watched Gavin kiss dozens of actresses on film over the years, wiggling in my theater seat as his lips crushed into those of some impossibly gorgeous woman. I’d return home to dream about it, how it would feel to have those pouty lips against mine. Flushed under the covers, I’d imagine how I’d thread my fingers through his hair and moan against his lips. I’d picture him pressing his hips into mine, driving my body into a frenzy. The thought of his tongue slipping between my teeth was enough to make me clap my hand over my mouth so my parents couldn’t hear me cry out in the dark.
Kissing him in real life was nothing like those kisses I’d seen on the screen. It was better. He tasted sweet, like pepperm
int candy.
He didn’t kiss me the way he kissed on-screen, his mouth open and tongue searching. This was tender, sweeter, almost tentative in the way his lips remained closed and his mouth stayed soft.
His hands slid around my waist to my lower back and he pulled me toward him. I still had the bag against my stomach, and it made an annoying barrier between us. I shimmied back for a moment and let it fall to the ground. His hips met mine almost instantly and I groaned at the sudden heat against my thighs.
My mouth opened slightly and he took me up on my invitation. He traced my lips, dancing his tongue across my teeth before finally meeting my own. Gavin’s kiss was different from Tanner’s. His mouth was gentle and teasing. He took his time exploring my mouth. There was a confidence behind the kiss, but no forcefulness.
My heart beat like those old drum corps bands against my rib cage, and I ran my fingers down his arms and back toward his spine.
The kiss lasted forever yet was really only a few seconds. Too soon, he pulled away, both of us breathing heavily, my lips cold where his had once been.
I’m sorry, he signed. I wanted to do that a better way.
That way was pretty good.
No. I meant I wanted to talk to you about it first. I wasn’t planning to maul you like that.
I see. I eyed the bag on the ground, now turned on its side. The tip of a stiletto poked out as a reminder that Veronica waited for me back on set. Guilt ate at my insides, along with a whole bunch of other emotions so twisted together I could barely sort them from one another. Why did you do it?
Isn’t it obvious? I like you. I’ve liked you since the moment you took a boat to the face like a champ.
Oh good. He still remembered that. Man, the list of embarrassing things I’d done in front of this guy must’ve earned me some sort of world record.
But why? I asked. I mean, you’re this big star and I’m just an author’s assistant.
You’re so much more than that. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and traced my scar. I tried to pull away, but he cupped my chin with his hands, unwilling to give me a moment of shame. “You’re smart, and funny, and sweet. Not to mention beautiful.”
I coughed and sputtered. “Aubrey’s beautiful. I’m just me.”
“Sure, Aubrey’s beautiful on the outside. But she’s superficial, and boring and kind of a bitch. When I told her I wanted to break up, her true colors came pouring out. I’m not sure I’ve ever had that many expletives hurled at me at once.”
I laughed. “Yeah, she’s not a big fan of rejection. But Leila warned me about you. She said you only date girls to help your career. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. If you want to be with me so the world will say, ‘Look how Gavin Hartley dates the disabled girls! He’s got so much heart!’ I won’t be a part of it.”
His hands fell to his sides and he kicked at a rock. It skidded across the roadside before settling under a trailer beside us.
I hate that you think that’s what this is, he signed. I’d never do that to you. To anyone.
You did it to Leila.
That was different. We did it together. It was a mutual agreement between us and our publicists to get us in the papers.
Right. The papers. ’Cause that’s where this was headed if I kissed him again. Memories of the camera phones flashing that night at the restaurant moved to the forefront of my mind. How was I supposed to date a celebrity when I couldn’t even cop to writing my own books?
It was impossible to count how many ways this was a bad idea. Possibly worse than following Tanner into his hotel room.
I grabbed the bag off the ground. “Look, Gavin, I’m flattered and completely shocked, but I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. I have no interest in fame, and I sure as hell don’t want to face Aubrey’s wrath.”
I headed toward the set and Gavin grabbed my shoulder and spun me so I had no choice but to stare at his beautiful body.
People don’t need to know, he signed. It can be our secret.
I shifted the bag to my elbow so I could reply in kind. Why? Because the people around here can’t hear us if we talk like this?
Because I want to get to know you. Because you’re not like other girls I’ve dated, and I like that. Because I can’t stop thinking about you.
I stiffened. The bag cut into the crook of my elbow, reminding me that he’d already seen more than Tanner had and he still wanted to be with me. I couldn’t deny the way my stomach vaulted around my insides like a hyper gymnast every time I looked at him, or how fifteen-year-old me screamed up a storm when I tried to tell her I wouldn’t be pursuing our teenage crush. I sighed.
Fine, I signed. I’ll try it. But in secret. No public outings and no one on the set can know.
I can do that, he signed. But first, I want to do something else.
What’s that?
I didn’t need sign language to read his body as he pulled me between two trailers and pressed me to the wall of one of them. The steel against my spine sent shivers through me, but they were soon lost among the shivers driving through the rest of my body as his lips joined with mine.
• • •
Turns out, dating a ginormous movie star in secret wasn’t as easy as he made it sound. By the time I left the set with a sour-faced Veronica, Gavin and I still hadn’t figured out a place we could meet for our first official date.
The next day, in Children’s Lit, my phone blinked on my desk.
GAVIN: Your dorm room?
ME: Roommate.
And it went off again in Shakespeare on Wednesday.
GAVIN: My hotel room?
ME: Paparazzi.
Thursday in Magical Physics, my dumbed-down science requirement, was no different.
GAVIN: A movie theater?
ME: Ticket takers.
By Thursday evening on the set, I’d determined this was more trouble than it was worth. I handed Veronica my typed notes on the scene they were filming the next week to pass on to Stan and leaned against a tree as the crew set up.
A hand slipped into mine and pulled me behind the tree.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
Gavin planted a kiss on my neck, drawing shivers from my skin. No one’s looking, he signed. They’re all too busy worrying about what still needs to be done.
I peeked around the trunk to see that he was right. Stan and Veronica stood by the beach, their backs to us, heads bent over my notes. Everyone else ran back and forth frantically as usual. I’d watched this process dozens of times now, and I still had no clue what half of them did.
“Hmmm.” I wrapped my arms around Gavin’s neck and pulled his face toward mine. “It’s a good thing all you Hollywood people are so self-involved.”
“You think I’m self-involved?”
I ran a hand down his chest and over the deep ridges of his abdomen. His stomach contracted beneath my fingers as he sucked in a breath. “A person doesn’t look like this without spending an ample amount of time on their body. I’d consider that self-involved.”
“I call it being in shape.” He grabbed my hand and pulled it around his waist. I pressed my palm against the slope of his lower back. “But I can stop, if you prefer.”
I bit back a moan as his muscles strained against my fingers when he shifted closer. The bark of the tree pressed into my spine, but there was no way I was leaving that spot.
“Um, no,” I said. “You have my permission to be as self-involved as you like, if this is the end result.”
“Now who’s self-involved?”
I’d relived the feeling of his lips for three sweat-filled nights and three days, but they still came as a surprise when they pressed into mine. When he pulled back, he took my breath with him. I closed my eyes until the world settled back into place.
He smiled and signed, I found a spot for our first date. Are you free after filming tonight?
We were supposed to film until almost midnight. Of course, it would probably go late, as usual, but
Friday was my free day with no classes and nothing to be up early for.
I nodded. Where are we going?
It’s a surprise. Meet me down at the shore after I’ve changed?
Sure. I’ll have to drive Aubrey home and come back, though.
Perfect. That’ll give me time to clean up. See you then. Something caught his attention. He widened his eyes and glanced around the tree before planting a kiss on my forehead. I’m needed, but I’ll meet you in a few hours. I can’t wait.
My fingers traced my forehead and mouth as I roamed back to the set, enjoying the tingles still lingering from Gavin’s lips. Veronica had finished her conversation with Stan and now propped herself against Thora’s shack, caught in the shadow of someone tall and blond. I knew without him turning that it was Tanner. Veronica trailed a fingernail over his chest and he brushed a hand across her cheek.
Well, they worked fast. In a way, it was destiny. They deserved each other. Perfection with perfection.
For once, filming stuck to schedule, and we finished only a few moments after midnight. I offered to drive Veronica home, but she informed me she already had a ride and shot a sly look at Tanner. His eyes barely grazed my face before the couple walked away, hand in hand.
I wandered to the shore and waited for Gavin. The water was calm and black, stars glinting off the surface like fireflies. I ached to shove off my shoes and squish my feet into the lake bottom, but it was far too cold this time of year.
Someone touched my shoulder and I turned to find Gavin offering me his hand. He led me to a boat the crew used for water shots. It was tied to a dock down the beach, two oars splayed across the wooden seats.
I glanced behind me. “Aren’t we going to get in trouble? Won’t someone notice us going off together in their boat?”
“Naw,” Gavin said. “Everyone just wants to get home. Come on, this is our ride.”
He hopped into the boat and held out his hand. I cocked my head.
“We’re rowing there?”
“Well, I am. Don’t worry, it’s not too far. Are you afraid of the water?”
“Quite the opposite.” I slung a leg over the edge of the boat and grabbed Gavin’s outstretched hand to steady me. Once I was seated at the end, he held out a piece of black cloth. “Um, what is that?”
