by Melody Anne
And Annie would’ve been so impressed knowing, one day, I’d go on a date with a hot actor.
Hot?
I rolled my eyes. Give me a break. You know you’re hot.
His only reply was a soft brush of his lips against mine. He stood and extended his hand to me. “We should get out of here. You look like you’re freezing.”
“I can’t feel most of my body, but I’m not sure if that’s from the weather or the conversation.”
“Yeah, this was kind of intense for a first date. Usually I just talk about my favorite color or food.”
I took his hand and he pulled me up. My legs trembled, so I leaned into him for support. And what are those? I signed.
Blue and pizza.
Hm. Kinda boring, if you ask me.
Oh yeah? What are yours?
I thought again about Annie and the ring of jet hair around her face. Black and avocado.
Avocado? That’s . . . different.
I’m a different kind of girl.
I’m getting that.
He kissed me softly before plucking the lantern from the dirt. We walked back to our picnic area without speaking, both of us thinking about what we’d revealed to each other. We finished collecting the items from the blanket and heaved them into the boat. This time, I didn’t wear the blindfold as we trailed through the water.
The trees of the island grew smaller and smaller. I felt lighter than when we’d first arrived, as though the words I’d spoken out loud had been weighing me down like an anchor all those years. I still didn’t completely agree with Gavin that it wasn’t my fault, but hearing that he didn’t hate me for it helped ease the burden a bit. I resolved to tell Jin the truth over the holidays, no matter how difficult it was or how much he ended up hating me. And now that I’d said it out loud once, it didn’t seem so impossible to say it again.
By the time we reached the set, it was deserted, save for a few security guards who paid us no heed. Gavin took my hand as we walked to my car. Neither of us had spoken since we left the island, both lost in our thoughts about what we had disclosed and what we had learned.
Our cars were the only ones left in the lot and I laughed as I spotted his black Porsche down the row from my Camry. Nice car, I signed. Another gift?
Yes, he signed. One I gave myself when I got my first huge movie check. This is you?
“Yup. My good old Camry. A gift to myself when I got my license.”
“It’s . . . nice. But I bet mine goes faster.”
His hand slid up my side, and I shivered. “I’m good with slow and steady.”
“Can we do this again?” he asked. “Well, not exactly this, ’cause tonight was depressing as hell, but I’d like the chance to take you for a proper date.”
“Sure,” I said. “I’d like that. But where? No more islands, please.”
“Leave it to me.” He placed a kiss on my lips and signed, Good night.
Good night, Gavin Hartley.
What’s with signing my full name, all of a sudden?
I smirked as I got into my car and shut the door. I rolled down the window. I figure if I sign it enough, my fingers will eventually convince my brain this is actually real.
“Oh.” He leaned his elbows on the window and kissed me again. This time, he held on longer, his mouth opening slightly. He nipped my lower lip and I shivered. “Maybe that will help, too?”
“It’s gonna take a lot to convince me,” I said.
“Hmm . . . well, I guess I’d better get started, then.”
By the time he was done, he could’ve told me the moon was pink with yellow polka dots and I would’ve believed him.
He had a real knack for persuasion.
The next few weeks went by in a blissful swirl of classes, essays, filming, and secret rendezvous with Gavin. He’d come up with the idea of getting another room in his hotel under a different name. I’d meet him there after work or when neither of us was required on set or in class.
Reggie commented once on how little time I was spending in our room lately, but I explained that we were getting to the most important episodes of the show, so Aubrey and I were needed more than ever for input. I longed to tell her about my new relationship, but part of me also enjoyed the secrecy of it. It was like the secret romance of Dag and Thora that I’d created—only this was real, and it was happening to me, not the fictional characters I’d dreamed up.
Two days before Thanksgiving holidays, I showed up at the hotel, skirting the crowds of reporters who’d set up camp outside. I took the elevator to the eighth floor and knocked on the door.
Gavin answered with a towel around his waist and damp hair.
Sorry, he signed. I didn’t think you’d get here so quick. You said you were writing an essay or something.
I willed my brain to form words as I watched a drop of water snake from his hair down his chest.
I finished early, I managed to form with my fingers after a long, gape-mouthed pause.
We’d spent a lot of time together lately, and I’d even fallen asleep with him on occasion. But we hadn’t graduated beyond glorified making out. Gavin had listened when I’d said I wanted to go slow. We spent most of our time kissing and talking, comparing what it was like to grow up in Fernbrooke versus Los Angeles. We ordered room service and ate into the night while we watched movies or late-night talk shows. He explained how all his success didn’t bring happiness to his parents after the loss of his sister, and I told him how I still couldn’t look Jin’s parents in the eyes. I’d never again tried to bring up the subject of who I really was. We avoided talking about Aubrey altogether, and I knew telling him might spoil what we had. Of course, I’d have to tell him eventually, but I figured that could wait until filming had wrapped and most of Hollywood had left my town.
The past weeks had been nothing short of perfect, and it was exactly what I’d told him I needed. But now, staring at him in only a piece of white cloth, I needed more.
He widened the door to let me enter, and I inhaled the scent of his shampoo. Green apples. The combination of the fruity soap and his usual cinnamon cologne was intoxicating. He smelled like a freaking apple pie. I licked my lips. I’d never wanted to taste his skin more.
I’ll go change and we can order something to eat, he signed. Do you know what you want?
“I do.” I ran my finger down his chest and his muscles contracted as he inhaled sharply.
“Elise—”
“Gavin, just shut up and kiss me, please.”
He didn’t need any more of an invitation than that. His hips pressed me against the back of the door as his mouth slammed into mine. My lips parted and I moaned when our tongues collided.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, not caring that my clothes were getting damp. My hands skimmed through his wet hair, and the water sent sparks of energy down my body as it danced along my fingers and arms.
Gavin lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around him. The towel left nowhere for him to hide. The bulk of him pressed against my jeans insistently. I whimpered as he sucked on my bottom lip and pulled it between his teeth.
We moved down the hall, my legs still clamped around his waist, and he pushed open the bedroom door. He laid me gently on the bed and knelt between my legs. His hands faltered as they reached for the hem of my sweater. I hadn’t let him remove it yet. He looked down at me in question, and although my stomach flipped around inside me, I lifted my arms over my head.
When my shirt hit the carpet, he studied me, his eyes wide. I wriggled under his scrutiny and tensed my body in preparation to bolt.
He grinned and signed above my head. God, you’re so beautiful.
Tears sprang to my eyes and I blinked. Salt water rolled down my cheeks onto the pillow.
“Hey.” Gavin wiped my face. “You okay? You want me to stop?”
“No,” I murmured. “Can you say it again?”
What? he signed. That you’re beautiful? How about I never stop saying it?
That works, too.
He bent his head and his tongue trailed down my neck and along the scar sloping beneath the fabric of my bra. He trailed kisses along my stomach, making sure to cover each and every scar. I closed my eyes and gave in to the sensation of his lips on my body. Every cell of my skin tingled at his touch. I arched my back to give him access to my bra clasp. He slipped it off my shoulders and I gasped as he took my nipple in his mouth and sucked.
His hand worked the zipper of my jeans and he bent away for a moment to slide them off and toss them to the floor. He climbed between my legs and pressed into me again. I cried out as I felt him through the fabric of the towel and my thin panties, but there was still too much between us.
The towel needed to go.
I slid my hands down his back to his hips and tugged the offending article free. I dropped it to the floor beside the bed and Gavin lifted his head from my breasts in question.
He didn’t ask out loud, but I nodded my consent and he reached for a packet in the bedside drawer before disappearing off the side of the bed. When he reappeared, he kissed between my breasts and down my stomach, his tongue dipping beneath the waist of my underwear. I moaned his name and he slid my panties down my legs and threw them out of sight.
As he moved back up my thighs, he planted kisses on each side, taking his time to cover every inch of skin until he landed right between my legs.
His tongue teased and swirled inside me, making me writhe against the bed and whimper. I reached down and tugged his hair to bring his attention higher and he obliged by trailing kisses up over my belly and back onto my breasts, his hand working where his mouth had just been.
The room swirled around me and I moaned and tightened around his fingers. He tensed at my reaction, his eyes closed. He licked his lips and kissed my neck.
“Gavin, please,” I murmured. “I need you, now.”
He nipped his way up my collarbone and sucked on my earlobe as he positioned himself over me. He gave me one more questioning look until all I could do was beg.
Gavin’s tongue dived into my mouth at the same time he plunged into me, and it was the only thing stopping me from screaming.
Being with Gavin was beyond anything I’d ever felt with anyone before. Stars burst before my eyes and I squeezed them shut, giving in to the feeling of Gavin rocking in and out of me.
When the moment finally came, I screamed his name as loud as I could, for once in my life not caring who heard me.
• • •
“I can’t believe I slept with Gavin Hartley,” I said the next morning as I snuggled down farther between the soft white sheets, lazily swirling one finger over Gavin’s chest.
“Uh-oh. Does this mean now that you’ve used me, you’re going to leave?”
“That sounds more like your MO than mine.”
“Ouch.”
Gavin lay sprawled on the bed on his back and I’d settled onto him, propping my chin on my hand so I could see him clearly. The morning sun streamed through a crack in the gray blinds, casting a line of yellow down his toned stomach. I traced the light with my finger, smiling at the gooseflesh that rose in its wake.
We’d spent most of the night gravitating between sleeping and learning everything we could about each other’s bodies. I was pretty sure he’d found every spot on mine that made me shudder and spasm with pleasure with just a touch of his finger or the graze of his tongue.
I floated blissfully beneath the covers, and everywhere our bodies met created a wonderful hum through my skin.
“Can I ask why?” I said.
“Why what?”
He had one arm draped over his eyes, the same way I’d found him on the couch the morning after the party.
“Why were you . . . with girls for the publicity? So they would help your status?”
His arm left his face and went behind his head to prop him up. He studied me for a moment and I pulled the blanket tighter around me.
“I guess I was just afraid,” he said.
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid I wouldn’t be famous like Jess had wanted. I couldn’t let her down. I was willing to do whatever it took. I’m not exactly proud of most of it.”
“And now?”
“Now what?”
“Well, you’re with me. I have no pull in propelling you to fame. Why are you with me?”
His hand snuck out from beneath his head and brushed my cheek. “Because none of that really matters when I’m with you. You remind me of the one thing Jess really wanted me to be. More than she wanted me to be an actor.”
“What was that?”
“A good person. A happy person. After Jess died, I had a hard time finding excitement in anything. You bring that out in me, Elise. That ability to see the good in people and the hope of finding happiness again. I like who I am when I’m with you.”
“I like who you are when you’re with me, too.” I burrowed my cheek into his chest and closed my eyes. His breath rose and fell below me, lulling me with its steady rhythm. “Do you have a picture of her? Your sister?”
Gavin shifted beneath me and reached for his phone on the end table. He shimmied higher in the bed and I went with him, pulling myself up with one hand on his waist. One of his arms came around me to slide across the screen of the phone and I shifted so my back was against his chest and I could see it.
His fingers touched the photo album icon and the screen flooded with images, mostly candid shots of the set or red carpet events. He skimmed through pictures with other celebrities I recognized.
“I always thought you looked hot in a tux,” I remarked appreciatively as an image of him at some awards show winked past. His body vibrated beneath me with laughter.
He stopped scrolling and pressed the button to enlarge an image of a teenage girl. I drew a breath. She looked so much like Gavin, with the same deep-blue eyes and dark hair. But instead of his chiseled jaw and angled cheekbones, her jawline was rounded and feminine, her cheeks flushed with life. She laughed at the camera, her eyes sparkling on the other side of the screen.
I swallowed against the lump that had risen suddenly in my throat. “She’s beautiful.”
He nodded against the back of my head and flicked his finger across the screen again to pull up another picture. The same girl was in it, but she had her arms around the shoulders of a young Gavin. She was whispering something into his ear as he grinned back at her. The smile on his face was easy, not like the ones he sported for photographers or the director. He must have been about sixteen in the picture, but the smile made him look younger. Free.
Neither of them looked at the camera. It was as though the photographer had plucked the photo out of a regular moment of their life and stamped it on the screen.
I peeked behind me. Gavin stared at the picture, his mouth a half smile. “She must’ve been a wonderful sister.”
“She was.”
Gavin clicked off his phone and set it back on the end table. He shifted me so I straddled him and we were face-to-face. I clutched the blanket over my chest and his eyes followed my hand. “How about you? Any siblings?”
“Nope. Just quiet, mousy me.” He started to laugh and I pouted down at him. “What are you laughing at?”
You called yourself quiet, he signed.
Of course I am, I signed back, struggling to hold the blanket up with my elbow. We aren’t even talking out loud.
He smirked. You were pretty loud earlier.
Is that so?
Yes. I think I bring out the noisier parts of you.
Grabbing my hips, he pressed up into me. I gasped, completely proving his point. He ran his tongue along the line where the sheet met the slope of my breasts.
I shivered and arched my back, giving him a devilish grin. “Well then, let’s see if I can return the favor.”
I dropped the blanket.
• • •
You sure you’re ready to do this?
Yes, I want her to know. Just
stay close.
Try getting me to go anywhere.
Gavin and I stood outside my dorm room. He sported a Fernbrooke U hoodie I’d brought with me for him and a giant pair of sunglasses. I would’ve thought the disguise was too flimsy to fool anyone, but not a single student stopped us as we walked from the parking lot to my dorm. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Hey, Reg, okay, I don’t want you to freak out, but I have something to tell you. I—”
I stopped halfway into the room. Reggie sat on her bed, eyes red and face tinged pink.
“Reggie, what’s wrong? Did something happen with Clint?”
She looked up at me, and her eyes flashed with anger. “You’re a liar. You’re a fucking liar.”
I took a step back and held my palms out. “Reggie, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Gavin earlier. We just wanted to see where it went. I didn’t think you’d be so upset . . .”
“This has nothing to do with him. I don’t care what you do with him. But how could you lie to me about this?”
That was when I saw it. My laptop beside her. Open. The manuscript for the last Viking Moon book sprawled across the screen.
“Reggie, what are you doing with my computer?”
“Mine conked out,” she said. “I needed to finish a paper for today, so I borrowed yours. You know, you really shouldn’t use ‘Gavin’ as your password.”
I glanced at Gavin and my cheeks warmed before I turned back to my roommate. “Reggie. I can explain.”
“What? Are you gonna try to tell me it’s just fan fiction or something?”
“Well—”
“No.” She slammed the laptop shut and stood. “Because I found them all, Elise. Or is it Aubrey? Every draft of every book, all neatly organized into folders. I mean, Jeez, Elise, you told me you hadn’t even read them and you fucking wrote them. What’s wrong with you?”
“Calm down, Reggie. Please, let me explain.”
She didn’t even seem to notice I’d spoken. Her face was so close to mine, I could smell the coffee she’d had earlier on her breath. Reggie picked up one of my books from her side of our desk and flipped it to the back. She jabbed a finger at Veronica’s picture.
