“How does Ryan fit into all of this?”
“He’s my intel.” When I frown, he continues. “He stays in the van and feeds me information when I’m in the field.”
That makes Jake the one taking all the risk. “Would I be out of line if I pulled the worried girlfriend card and asked you to swap places with your partner?”
He laughs. “Out of line, no. Is it going to happen? Also, no.”
“Can’t blame a girl for trying.” I reach for his hand. He pulls me into a warm embrace. I feel so safe when I’m in his arms. No matter the dangers that may come, I know he’ll always protect me.
27
{Kayla}
After triple-checking all my numbers, I save the file and close the laptop. I can’t do anything else to improve my business case study. It’s as ready as it’s going to get. I’ve practiced my pitch on Jake no less than five times. It’s a twenty-minute speech with visuals. He swears the captain will love it. I’m not so sure. It’s asking him to partner up with some of the other businesses on this side of the island to buy items in bulk, among other things. What if he says no? What if he says yes and things go horribly wrong?
I’ve got an hour before my presentation and nothing left to distract me. I don’t dare turn on the TV and get sucked into the powerful allure of binging Netflix. I don’t want to bother Emma. She’s playing nurse to her boyfriend and needs to heal herself. I haven’t talked to my mom in a while and want to talk to her about the presentation. It’s also time to tell her I have a boyfriend.
“Hi, Mom,” I greet after she answers.
“Is everything okay?”
I roll my eyes. Why do parents immediately assume something’s wrong when we call? “Everything’s fine. I just had some time to kill before my presentation.”
“You’re going to do great, Kayla. Mamma didn’t raise no dummy.” Of course, she turns this into something about her. “How’s the living situation? That new roommate still driving you crazy?”
If she only knew. “We’re getting along better.”
“How much better?” Caution slows her words.
“That’s actually something I wanted to tell you.”
“Kayla.” The disappointment thickens her tone. She sighs and it crushes me. I know that reaction. It’s the same one she had when I told her I broke up with Ian. “Please tell me you didn’t go and do anything stupid.”
I swallow hard. Does sleeping with my man-whore of a roommate, falling for said roommate, count as stupid? In my mom’s eyes, that’s a definite yes. I swallow again and draw in a deep breath for strength. “Jake and I are dating.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I just said we were.”
“Kayla, dear, you’re not dating that boy. He’s got no future.”
“We’re just dating, not eloping.” I’m insulted. She doesn’t even know him. Who is she to judge him? I can’t help but see that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. “Besides, he has a future. He’s going to be a firefighter.”
“Something also offered as a volunteer position. Even if he finds a job in this market, the median earnings for a firefighter is under fifty-thousand, and that’s if he gets on full time.”
Leave it to her to rationalize my choice in men by his potential earnings. “Mom, I really like him.”
“Take your father, for example.” She completely ignores me as she continues to push her point. I grab the remote and flip on the TV. This is going to take a while. “You think I wanted to settle?”
“Settle down, you mean?”
“Of course.” Of course not. I channel surf as I half-listen. “There was this boy in college—Emmett Montel. He was wild. A rebel. And oh, so handsome. We used to sneak out after curfew and go down to the river.”
“To do what?”
“Anything and everything.”
“Gross, Mom!” I shudder at the thought of my mom doing anything, especially with someone other than my dad.
She laughs. “Calm down. You’re an adult now. You can handle it. Now, Emmett was the one all the girls wanted, the one all the guys wanted to be. And he chose me. Me! I was on cloud nine. He wined me. He dined me. He—”
“Mom!” I’m scarred for life.
“We were in love. He made my last year of college the best year of my life.”
That catches my attention. I mute the TV. “I thought you said you met dad your senior year.”
“I did.”
“What made you leave the guy you loved for a guy you just met?”
“My future.”
I keep saying those words as an excuse to not be with Jake. He’s not part of my plan. I only gave in and agreed to date him after he admitted he loved me. It’s a bit backward, but nothing about Jake and my relationship follows any of the rules.
My heart skips at that realization. That’s why I’m so scared of being with him. He breaks all my rules I’ve so carefully constructed to protect me from guys just like him. So much for that plan. I turn off the TV and stand to pace, not liking the parallels between my mom’s last year of college and mine. “What about your future? Emmett couldn’t give you one?”
“Not the one I wanted. I didn’t want a life of uncertainty. Who needs that kind of stress? Am I right?”
She’s not wrong. “What are you saying?”
“There’s a reason why we have rules, Kayla. Rules keep things in line. Rules are the only things stopping the human race from falling into complete chaos. If you follow the plans you put in place, you won’t have a life of uncertainty.”
“What’s uncertain about dating Jake?”
“Your future.”
Again with the parallels. I never should have called her.
“Honey, boys like Jake, like Emmett, rely on their looks and charm to get through life. Once their looks fade, there’s not enough charm on the planet to get them ahead. They can’t provide for you in the long run. They can’t take care of you.”
“Good thing I can take care of myself.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” she counters. “Go for one of the boys in one of your business classes, preferably one who’s already been offered a cushy job after graduation.”
I don’t want to know the answer but can’t stop myself. “Is that why you chose Dad?”
“It certainly wasn’t for his wild side. I had a plan. He fit.”
“That’s how you chose him? You had a plan? He fit?”
“Take my advice, sweetheart. Get this boy out of your system and settle for one who’ll be able to take care of you.” She sighs, like me questioning her insanity causes her extra work. What about my sanity? I’m freaking out over the thought that my mother chose my father simply because he fit into her perfect little plan.
Oh, shit. No, I refuse to believe that’s why I’m so reluctant to get into a relationship with Jake. So, he doesn’t fit into my plans. So what? That doesn’t mean he’s not my future. That doesn’t mean we won’t be happy together.
Everything about what my mom’s saying makes me want to challenge her. “How do you know Emmett wouldn’t have been able to take care of you?”
“We’re friends on Facebook. Last I checked, he was a busboy at some dive of a diner.”
“That’s a respectable job.” I think. I don’t really know. I bus my own tables. I just want to prove her wrong in the worst way.
“Oh, Kayla. Don’t be naïve. You are so much better than that. You may think Jake is the answer to your dreams, but trust me when I tell you boys like him have no discernable business sense. He’s already peaked. He’ll never be more than he is right now.”
“That’s a terrible thing to say. You don’t even know him.”
“I know others like him. I almost made the mistake of following my heart instead of my head. Look where that would have gotten me, the wife of a busboy working at a diner. I made the right choice to settle for someone safe. I suggest you do the same while you still have your looks.”
Oh, my God. I want to han
g up but can’t bring myself to do it. I’m desperately trying to hold it together. This was the last thing I needed right before a big presentation. Now all I can think about is how miserable my parents must be. “Does Dad know any of this?”
“Of course. He knew he’d never do better than me, so he put a ring on it. Men are all the same, my dear. They want the nicest car, the biggest house, the prettiest wife.”
“You’ve been watching too many of those reality shows of mean girl housewives.” I can’t believe I share DNA with this woman. I’m done trying to be like her. I don’t want to live my life as some guy’s trophy wife. I’m not even trophy wife material.
“He who dies with the most toys, Kayla.”
“Still dies,” I snap and check the clock on the stove. Close enough. I’ll just walk slow. “I gotta go.”
“Good-bye, princess. Remember to smile.”
How can I smile after what she just told me? I can’t even breathe.
Maybe I’ll go to the firehouse early and talk to Jake. He’ll make me feel better. He always finds a way to blast away my insecurities. I need his strength right now.
[Jake]
I whistle while I polish the ladder truck. When the radio is silent and the work is done, there’s nothing left to do but shine the trucks. There’s no such thing as a dirty firetruck, not on my shift. I don’t mind and move to another spot.
“Hey.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I grin when I spot my girl. She’s early, like really early. Although I’m glad to see her, I catch the trouble shining in her eyes, the doubt in her expression. Something happened, something I’m not going to like. I want to ask her what’s wrong, but that’s the last thing she needs right before this presentation. She needs a boost of confidence, not a reminder of whatever has her ready to cry and me ready to end whoever’s behind the cause of those tears hovering.
“Hey, beautiful.” I drop the rag into the bucket and approach. “I set up the training room the way you asked. Let me show you where it is.”
“Uh, thanks.” She forces a smile. Her nerves must be getting the better of her. As soon as we’re in the back room, I pull her into my arms and kiss her soundly. “Was that for luck?”
“You don’t need luck. You’re the smartest person I know. You got this.” I squeeze her hand. She nods as her chin trembles. Her eyes well with tears. “Kayla? What happened?”
“My mother happened.” She drops her bag on the table at the front of the room. “I just got off the phone with her.”
“And?” I don’t like the way she won’t look at me. “What is it?”
“She doesn’t want me dating you.”
What are we, in high school? “Good thing it’s not up to her.”
“She said some things that has me thinking.”
No. Hell to the no! I won’t let her mom or anyone else plant doubt into her beautiful brain. Not now. Not ever. As much as I want to sit her down and analyze the conversation just to poke holes in her mom’s theories, there’s not enough time between now and the presentation. The captain invited representatives from the surrounding firehouses to attend. They’re all feeling the pressure to cut expenses. If Kayla pulls this off, she could be looking at solid employment for the rest of the year and into the next.
But first, I need to boost her confidence so she does pull this off. “Does it have to do with this presentation?”
“No, but—”
“Then it doesn’t matter,” I cut her off before she gets too far into her own head. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“You don’t know what she said.”
“I don’t need to know, not right now. Right now, you need to get set up. The cap was so impressed with what you showed him, he invited friends.”
That little bomb did exactly what I’d hoped. She rounds her eyes and grabs her laptop, now completely focused on her presentation. Whatever her mom said to upset her is no longer the center of her attention. Methodically she goes about plugging in, opening up, and drawing out everything she wants to show them.
“Good luck, baby.”
She glances up and smiles. “Thank you, Jake.”
“For?”
“Being you.”
“I don’t know how to be anyone else.” I wink and blow her a kiss. I wish I could stay in the room, but it’s reserved for captains and chiefs. I’m neither, so I slip out and spot the captain showing off the shiny ladder truck. I smile proudly. When he spots me, he nods.
“Captain Brantford, sir.” I nod in return and keep it completely formal. I have no idea the relationship he has with the two other captains with him.
“This is one of our finest recruits. Cadet Swanson, I’d like you to meet Captains Judd and Greeley.” I shake each of their hands. “Jake is a week from graduation. He’s one of three vying for the open position.”
“If he doesn’t get the position, send him to the other side of the island,” Greeley states. “We only had two recruits, and they both dropped out. We could use some young blood on the team.”
“He’d have to flunk his exams to lose the spot. He aced his practicals. He’s miles above the other two.” He grins my way, pride shining in his expression. I nod my thanks as my chest swells. He’s been like a father to me since I joined the team. Hearing him talk about me with such admiration fills me with confidence.
If only my real father were around to see the man I’d grown to be. Not that it matters. If there’s not some sort of score in it for him, he barely pays it a second glance.
Greeley shrugs. “Fine, send them my way then. I’m not picky.”
The three men laugh as the captain leads them to the training room. I go back to polishing the truck as I wait for Kayla to finish her presentation. I can’t wait to tell her what the captain said, that I’m a sure in for the position. With her working this consulting gig and me in a paid position with the fire department, we’ll be able to afford to stay in the apartment until Brantford’s son returns from duty.
Half an hour later, the door opens and Kayla steps out, a smile on her face as she responds to someone in the room. “I’m finishing up finals this week, but will have time after that. I’ll call both your offices to set up appointments. Thank you all for your time.”
I toss the rag aside and wait for her to close the door behind her. As soon as she spots me, she practically sprints into my arms. “They loved it!”
“Like there was ever a question.”
She pushes away and holds my gaze. “Captain Brantford hired me. The others want to hire me to run the same exercise at their firehouse. Jake, do you know what this means?”
“You found yourself a cushy job after graduation. I got me a sugar mamma.” Her smile melts, and my heart drops. Oh, shit. “It was just a joke.”
“I have to go.” She’s lost her color.
“Kayla, wait.” But she’s already out of my arms and halfway to the door. “Kayla!”
She doesn’t slow as she races out, leaving me baffled as to how teasing her about a cushy job and being my sugar mamma caused a reaction like that. I’m not off shift for another four hours, so I can’t run after her.
With nothing left to do but regret opening my mouth, I grab the rag and move to another truck.
28
{Kayla}
I’m still fully dressed and lying on my bed staring at the ceiling when Jake comes home. I’ve been here for hours, hoping the answers will come if I relax and slow my thoughts. My problem is I don’t know how to relax. If can’t relax, I can’t slow my thoughts. Therefore, no answers, which only makes it harder to relax.
I know his first stop will be my room to check on me, so I roll away from the door and pretend to be asleep just as he knocks softly. “Kayla? You up?”
I say nothing and hold my breath in the hopes he goes away. He does. Once he closes the door to his room, I flop onto my back and stare at a different spot. Why is this so hard? When he left for his shift at the firehouse, we were happy. We were a real c
ouple. I kissed him good-bye and made him promise to stay safe, to return home to me.
Then Superstorm Sandy Riggs hit. She came in fast and deadly, leaving no survivors. How can I possibly be related to that woman? Maybe I’m adopted, because I am nothing like her. She passes judgment on people without really knowing them. She damns anything and anyone that doesn’t fit in with her perfect plans. She points out everyone else’s faults to distract from her own.
Okay, so I’m exactly like her. And I hate it. Fine. I’m not going to be anything like her from this realization forward.
My phone buzzes. I grab it and read the screen. It’s Mel sending a group chat. GNO this weekend?
I’m in. It’s exactly what I need, to spend time away from Jake and seek advice from my support group. I just hope I can make it to the weekend without losing my mind over trying to sort through this flurry of emotions threatening to take over every second of every day.
We’re in. It came from Shannon’s number, but it could have been Ciara. Those two are always together. I don’t know what Shannon is going to do when Ciara leaves for Cambridge after graduation. It wouldn’t surprise me if she found a job over there and they moved to the East Coast together.
My phone buzzes again. This time it’s just Mel to me. You okay?
We’ll talk at the GNO. If I go into detail, we’ll be up texting all night and I need to get up early for work.
You aren’t okay.
It’s not a question, and I don’t take it that way. I’m in bed.
I’m calling. Before I can respond, her image appears on my screen as my phone buzzes. I debate letting it go to voicemail, but then she’ll just keep trying until I answer.
“What?” I whisper viciously. If Jake hears me, he’ll be at my door in seconds.
“What’s wrong?”
It’s like the floodgates open. A sob sneaks up before I can cover my mouth. “I’m a mess.”
“That’s a given. We all are. It’s finals week.” She pauses as I struggle to keep my sobs silent. They tear through me, shredding my soul as they come faster, right on top of each other. “This isn’t about school, is it?”
The Heat Is On (TREX Rookies Book 2) Page 25
