“My mommy used to do it,” Paul put in, picking up a pencil. “She was always busy too. My dad says that he has to finish what she started.” He shrugged. “I think that means he has to go to the meetings all the time and be on the phone all the time. Like she was.”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll be done sometime and then he can spend more time at home.”
“Do you think my daddy loves us as much as he loved our mommy?”
Paul’s quiet question was like a jolt.
“Of course he does,” Ella said. “Why would you think that?”
Paul shrugged as he drew a mane on the horse he’d been working on. “After mommy died, he got busy. I think he doesn’t like being home anymore.”
“I know he loves you,” Ella said. “Don’t you ever think otherwise.”
Paul smiled but Ella sensed he wasn’t completely convinced.
Don’t get involved, Ella warned herself. But at the same time, she felt desperately sorry for this family and the grief they’d been dealt.
* * *
He had come back from the meeting as quickly as he could.
Cord parked his truck beside his father’s, guilt nipping at his heels. He hadn’t figured on leaving the kids with Ella most of the afternoon. He had hoped to be back before his father returned from Calgary, but George was especially long-winded today and the rep from the Milk River Rodeo Association seemed to have all the time in the world. The rep insisted they do yet another feasibility study on finishing the arena. Which meant more meetings.
Cord dreaded giving the news to his dad about the arena. Boyce was one of the partners in the original plan to build an arena in town with the hope that it would bring in more events. And, with that, more tourists.
Except the arena hadn’t been completed. Dalton Rennie, the contractor, had skipped town taking most of the money, leaving the project three-quarters done and numerous unpaid bills, most of them footed by his father. And there was no way to collect. Though Dalton owned land at one time, he’d done some creative financing and managed to sign his home place over to his oldest daughter, Tabitha. Cord knew there was still money owing against that property as well so that was a dead end in more ways than one. Dalton had died a year ago, right after leaving town.
Cord tried not to feel overwhelmed. He and his dad had to move the cows out onto pasture in a couple of weeks. He had also promised the kids they could put in a garden.
And now, thanks to this meeting, he had another round of phone calls to make and appointments to set up.
How does this work, Lord? he prayed, dropping his head against the seat of the truck. How do I honor my wife’s work, raise my kids, help my dad on the ranch and keep my sanity?
It all seemed too much.
Let go and let God.
Those were the words Lisa would toss at him whenever he thought things were getting too much.
But let go of what?
Cord looked over at the house, thinking of his kids and how glad they’d been that they didn’t have to come with him to the meeting. He was thankful Ella was willing to take care of them but he knew he couldn’t—and shouldn’t—count on her.
And when spring break was over Oliver was coming back from his in-laws’, and he still hadn’t found a nanny.
He shook off the panic that thought created. He’d find someone. Somehow.
He grabbed his briefcase, correction, his wife’s briefcase, and got out of the truck. The windows of the house were open and he heard Ella’s quiet voice, then the sound of his kids laughing.
He stepped inside the house and once again was assailed by the scent of supper cooking. He could get used to that, he thought as he toed off his boots and set them in the cupboard. As he did, he noticed that the entrance was swept and tidy. A curious sense of satisfaction came over him. The house wasn’t as chaotic and he had Ella to thank for that.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, though, but for now he was grateful. He dropped his briefcase off in the office and walked into the dining room.
“So tell me what this is,” Ella said, bent over a piece of paper at the table, his father, Suzy and Paul all hunched over whatever she was doing, giggling.
Curious as to what was going on, he joined them.
Ella was writing the word am a number of times and drew circles around them and then drawing lines from the circles down to a central point. Then she drew what looked like grass where the lines all met. The paper she was drawing on had a number of other curious pictures he couldn’t identify.
“I have no idea,” Suzy said, shaking her head.
“Am, am, am, am. Doesn’t make sense.” Paul tugged on his earlobe like he always did when he was thinking. “It looks like a bunch of balloons. Or like a kind of bush.”
“Hey, Cord,” his father said, looking up, “Just in time to figure out Ella’s latest puzzle.”
Cord shrugged his own confusion. “I’m with Suzy.”
Ella’s eyes grazed over him, and then she looked away. “It’s just a silly game I was playing with the kids.”
“So what is it?” his dad asked. “We can’t guess.”
“It’s an ambush,” Ella said. “Am...bush.”
Cord checked the picture out again and it was as if they all got the joke at the same time. His dad and Suzy were both giggling but laughter burst out of Paul. He was bent over, laughing so hard Cord thought he would run out of breath.
“Ambush. I get it,” Paul gasped and then started up again.
His uninhibited laughter was contagious and everyone else joined in, Cord included. And even as he laughed, part of him felt another shift in the burden on his shoulders. His kids were laughing. They were happy. When had he last seen that?
A few more chuckles escaped, and Boyce glanced over at Cord. “Ella made supper again.”
His father held his gaze, a challenge in his eyes that Cord chose to ignore.
“You should stay for supper,” Paul said to Ella, clearly picking up on his grandfather’s hint.
“Thanks for the offer, but I have to go. I’m supposed to join in a conference call in about forty-five minutes.”
“That’s plenty of time,” Paul said, grabbing her hand. “You can stay until then.”
Ella’s eyes sparkled from the joke and her smile created the tiniest dimple in her cheek. It was on the tip of his tongue to underline his son’s offer when she shook her head.
“Sorry. I have to get a few things ready before the phone call.”
“Take some supper with you,” Boyce said. “You made it, after all.”
But Ella waved off the offer. “Thanks, I’m heading to town after that for some groceries.” She sent Cord a quick glance. “How was your meeting?”
“Long. Boring. And the only result was more meetings.”
“That’s unfortunate.” Her smile slipped and she looked over at Suzy who was watching him intently. She wasn’t smiling anymore, either. “I better get going,” Ella said. Then she turned to Paul and Suzy. “But before I go, we should clean up.”
While she and the kids tidied, bringing their project to a desk in the corner of the dining room, Cord pulled out plates and utensils from the cupboards for dinner. His father had retreated to the family room and was laying in his recliner, eyes closed. Cord knew that traveling always made him tired. Life seemed to make him tired these days. He wondered how long he could count on his help on the ranch.
One more thing he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on.
A few minutes later the table was set and Ella was packing up a bag. She slung it over her shoulder, then stepped aside as Cord laid utensils on the table. He glanced over at her, surprised to see her watching him.
“So we’ll see you tomorrow?” As soon as he spoke he felt like smacking himself on the head. S
ounded like a come-on. At least to him.
“I already told the kids, but I have to head into Calgary tomorrow. I need some art supplies.”
“Of course. For your own work.”
She nodded.
“How are things coming on the kids’ project?”
“We got a good start today. I think we can get it done in a couple more days.”
“That’s good.” He gave her a careful smile, reluctant to let Ella go yet. It felt good to have her around. Maybe it was because she seemed more comfortable around his kids or maybe because his home life felt less chaotic the last couple of days.
“And your own painting?” he asked. “How has that been going?”
She shrugged. “It’s been a struggle.”
“Sorry to hear that. I know you came out here to get inspired.”
She glanced back at the kids, now parked in front of the television in the family room, and a smile crept over her face. “Maybe working on this project with the kids will help me with that.”
“I just want to let you know that I appreciate you helping them out. They’re pretty excited about it all. And, well, it helped me out of a pickle today. I know they don’t like getting dragged to the meetings. They don’t usually take place during the day, but we’ve been working with someone from the Milk River Association and it worked better for him to come then.” Then he stopped, flashing her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. That’s probably kind of boooring, as Suzy would say.”
This netted him another smile and another flash of a dimple.
“This project is certainly keeping you busy.”
“Busier than I’d like. I didn’t know what I was signing up for when I took this on.”
“Was your wife this busy?”
“Things were just starting up then. It was her idea, actually. Her vision, but it got more hectic for her toward the end.”
“Was she involved in rodeo?”
“She and my sister barrel raced together. They were quite competitive. Lisa slowed down after Suzy was born but it was only when she was expecting Oliver that she quit, as well. That’s when she got involved in this.”
As he spoke he thought back to those times. Lisa packing up her horses to leave for yet another rodeo. Lisa packing up her briefcase to leave for yet another meeting.
“She sounds like a real go-getter.”
“She was. Used to fight about it, though.”
And as soon as he spoke the words he felt a flush of disloyalty. It wasn’t fair to Lisa that he spoke like that about her to a stranger.
Yet, there was something about Ella that invited confidences. Maybe it was the way she held his gaze. The quietness that surrounded her.
“Sorry,” he said, waving his hand as if to erase what he’d just said. “I shouldn’t be talking to you like this.”
“It’s okay. I imagine it’s been difficult for you. Taking care of three kids on your own.” She glanced back over her shoulder at Paul and Suzy, their faces lit up by the the flickering glow of the television. “But you’re a lucky man.”
It was the hitch in her voice that caught his attention. A thought slowly formulated.
“My father said you were married. Did you never have children?”
Ella’s head spun around at his question, and he knew he had struck a chord. The fear in her eyes was a surprise, though. Then she blinked and it was as if the moment was gone.
“I wanted children but my husband didn’t.”
So that was why she was uncomfortable around the kids.
Suddenly he felt like a first-class idiot. “I shouldn’t have said anything. My wife always said I had no filter. That my thoughts went straight from my brain to my mouth. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I do like your kids and it isn’t as hard to be around them as—” She shook her head. “Anyhow, you’re blessed to have them.”
He heard something else in her tone as she held his eyes. Reprimand? He wasn’t sure.
“I better go.” She tucked her bag over her arm and walked to the porch.
He stood in the dining room, watching her leave, as aware of his children behind him as the woman walking away from him.
Again the guilt came. Was he doing enough for his children? And if he wasn’t, did he have any right to let Ella into his life?
Chapter Five
“This doesn’t look like a horse.” Paul dropped his chin on his folded arms and glared at the offending paper laying on the dining room table. Oreo walked around the crayons, batting one onto the floor, getting another glare from Paul.
“I think it looks really good,” Ella said, trying to encourage him as she lifted the kitten off the table.
“It looks like a doggy,” Suzy offered.
Ella shot her a warning glance but Suzy didn’t notice.
“Kind of like a shaggy dog,” she added. “Like Pablo.”
Paul lifted his head and thrust his chin forward. “You’re like a shaggy dog. You can’t draw a horse either, you dummy.”
“I’m not a dummy. You are.”
“Don’t call me a dummy.”
“Hey, kids, stop fighting,” Boyce called out, getting up from the recliner he’d been sitting in before Ella had a chance to intervene.
When Ella came to the house that morning, Boyce had complained that he was tired from watching the kids yesterday while she was in Calgary and retreated to his recliner. Which made her feel guilty for leaving them alone, which annoyed her because it wasn’t her problem.
Yet she felt sorry for both Boyce and the kids. Cord had been gone yesterday afternoon as well and while she shouldn’t care, she did.
“You know what,” Ella said, putting a cap on the felt pen she’d been using. “Why don’t we go take Pablo for a walk? Maybe look at the horses and get a better idea of what they look like close-up.”
“Yay,” Paul said, jumping up from his chair. “Maybe we can see Daddy.”
Ella’s heart tripped. Seeing Cord wasn’t part of the plan. When she got there that morning, she’d been relieved that Cord wasn’t in the house. He had occupied too much of her thoughts the past few days. Him and his children’s struggle with his busy schedule. It wasn’t any of her business, but she had a hard time letting go of her concerns for this family.
“Should we take Oreo?” Suzy asked.
“It would probably be better if he stayed in the house,” Boyce said, getting up from his recliner. “I’ll come too. Some fresh air might do me some good.” He gave Ella a smile and took Suzy’s hand, leading her to the porch.
Outside, the sun had broken through the clouds that had covered the sky that morning, and its warmth was a welcome promise of summer.
The kids ran ahead of her down the path to her house, already in a better mood. Boyce ambled alongside her.
“You know I sure appreciate what you’re doing with the kids,” he said as they made their way through the trees to her house. “They’ve seemed to settle down since you’ve come.”
“They’re sweet kids,” Ella said.
“I just wish their dad would spend more time with them.”
Ella felt the same but she kept her opinions to herself. The other day she had come dangerously close to speaking her mind.
But it wasn’t her business.
Pablo jumped to his feet, rattling the bars of his kennel when they came into the house and released a sharp bark of welcome.
“He’s happy to see us,” Suzy said, running over to the kennel. She put her hand inside, stroking him and Pablo closed his eyes. “Did you miss us, Pablo?” she cooed, fondling the dog’s ears.
Pablo was lapping up the attention and Ella was glad she’d thought of this. The poor dog had been cooped up all day yesterday while she was go
ne, and when she came back she was too tired to go for a walk so she’d had simply let him out to do what was necessary.
“I think he’s happy to see someone other than me,” Ella said with a light chuckle as Paul handed her his leash.
“He’s a big dog,” Boyce said as Ella clipped the leash to Pablo’s collar. “Whatever made you get such a beast?”
“I didn’t. He was a gift.” Ella too easily recalled the reason Darren had come home with the adorable ball of fluff. The day before Darren had pushed her into the wall and bruised her ribs. Thankfully she didn’t have to go to the hospital, though it had taken a couple of weeks before she could breathe deeply again. He had apologized with tears and flowers.
And Pablo.
“That’s quite a gift,” Boyce said.
“The gift that keeps on giving,” Ella joked. “He’s been a good companion to me.”
Boyce chuckled as they left the house. “I agree. I wish Cord would get a dog for the kids, but he keeps putting it off. Now they got this cat.”
“Can we go see Dad now?” Paul asked, dancing alongside Pablo who was straining at the leash, eager to go.
“I thought we could walk down the road,” Ella said. “Let Pablo run for a bit.” She knew it was best if she kept her distance from Cord. He had his own responsibilities, and even though being around Suzy and Paul had grown easier, she knew Oliver was coming home soon.
She wasn’t sure how she could handle that. The few times she had seen the little boy, the memories he evoked were too painful.
“I hear the tractor,” Boyce said. “I think Cord is back from feeding the cows.”
“Yay, we can go see him.” Paul ran ahead of her, going in a different direction than she had intended. Then Suzy ran after Paul, and Boyce turned in the same direction. Ella had no choice but to follow, Pablo straining at the leash.
“Hey, kids,” Boyce shouted. “Stay with us.”
“He won’t see us if we don’t hurry,” Suzy called out.
“That’s why you need to stay with us,” Boyce said, his voice firm. “I don’t want your dad accidentally running you over.”
Courting the Cowboy Page 7
