“Is that what you think her life with me would be?” he asked, dread chilling his soul. “Tied down?”
“What would you call it?” she said with a shrug, as if there could be no other way to describe it. “They aren’t hers and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but she’s uncomfortable around children.”
She couldn’t tell you about her baby.
He didn’t know how to defend himself against the steady barrage of her words. He wanted to say that Ella used to be like that. That things had changed, but just as he tried to find a way to refute what she was saying, he heard the sound of Ella’s vehicle pulling up. He looked out the window the same time as Ms. Langton did and she quickly got to her feet.
“Is that Ella?” Ms. Langton asked.
“Yes. And the kids.” Cord saw her open the car door and then Paul and Suzy jumping out. Ella pulled a couple of plastic grocery bags out of the car.
“That is excellent. I can give her the news in person.” Ms. Langton picked up her mug and brought it to the kitchen, looking around with an approving look. “This is a lovely house. I hope, for your and your children’s sake, that one day you can make some woman happy by living here.”
Cord heard the stark undertone. Some woman, she had said, fairly sure she preferred that woman not be her daughter.
The door opened and the heavy silence that had followed Ms. Langton’s veiled hint was shattered by excited voices.
“We did it, we did it,” Suzy called out, bouncing into the kitchen, coat wide-open, her backpack banging on her legs. “Me and Paul and Jaden and Alexis and Ava and Josh and Derwin and five other kids all got our posters picked. I’ll show you.”
She tossed her backpack on the table and unzipped it as Ella and Paul joined them.
“That’s good news,” Cord said with a forced heartiness.
“It’s just the first step,” Ella said. “There were lots of other kids who are in the finals.”
“I told you so,” said Paul who turned to Cord. “Suzy was all excited because she thinks we’re going to win but I said that it’s still only a chance.” He put a strong emphasis on the last word as he glanced back at Suzy.
“I don’t care,” she said. “We’re going to win.”
Cord had to smile at her unshakable optimism.
Cord’s eyes easily found Ella’s and they shared a brief smile but then Ella’s gaze slipped to her mother, now standing by the sink, and her smile faded away.
“Hello, Mother,” Ella said as she walked over to where her mother stood.
Ms. Langton came around the island and they hugged each other. Then Ella pulled away, her hands resting on her mother’s shoulders.
“When did you get here?” she asked.
“Half an hour ago. Cord and I had tea and we chatted.” Ms. Langton threw him a look that held a wealth of undertones. “Didn’t you get my text? That I was coming?”
“I got a text that you wanted to come for a visit. You never told me when.”
“I’m so sorry. I was sure I did. Anyway, I’m here now.”
“Are you Ella’s mom?” Paul asked, dropping his backpack on the table.
“I am.”
“Are you as nice as Ella?”
“I don’t know. How nice is Miss Ella?”
“She helped us with our posters and she planted the garden and helped us weed it and she makes us supper and helps with the dishes.”
“Sounds like you have all been busy.”
Cord easily heard the note of censure in Ms. Langton’s voice and knew exactly what caused it.
“Up. Up.” Oliver came to join the party, trying to climb up a chair. Suzy was ignoring him, noisily slurping down a juice box.
“Don’t let him come here,” Paul complained, spreading his arms protectively around the pile of papers he had pulled out of his backpack.
Cord grabbed Oliver before he reached the table, settling him on his hip. Here was his noisy, busy family, almost complete except for his father who would probably show up at any minute.
Ms. Langton’s gaze slipped over the domestic scene and then her eyes met Cord’s. She lifted one eyebrow in a questioning gesture that Cord chose to ignore.
“So what brings you here, Mother?” Ella asked as she moved past her to put the groceries on the counter.
“I can do that,” Cord said, reaching with one hand to take the bags from her.
“Won’t take but a minute,” Ella said, giving him a warm smile as she set them down. “You’ve got your arms full.”
She grabbed a cloth, wiped Oliver’s face and gave Cord a secretive smile. Then with quick efficient movements she put the groceries away.
“Looks like you know your way around this kitchen,” her mother said.
“Been here a few times.” Ella rolled up the bags and put them in the drawer with the rest. “So tell me why you’re here?” she asked her mother again.
“Actually, I was hoping I could take you out for supper,” Ms. Langton said.
“I was going to make supper for Cord, Boyce and the kids.”
“We can manage,” Cord said quickly. “Dad can help.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m sure Cord knows how to take care of his family,” Ms. Langton put in. She tucked her arm through Ella’s. “So now that that’s settled, shall we go?”
“I’d like to change first,” Ella said.
“Of course. We’ll go over to your cabin right away,” Ms. Langton said.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Ella shot one more questioning glance Cord’s way but he waved off her concerns.
“Not my first rodeo. I’ve taken care of these kids for the past two years, I think I can manage. We’ll be fine without you.”
She gave him a curious look but then nodded to her mother. “Guess we’re going.”
And together they walked out the front door.
Cord felt a shiver run through him as the door closed behind Ella and her mother. Like something huge dropped into the pond of his life was now threatening to swamp the fragile thing that he and Ella had going.
The past week he’d thought things were moving in a good direction.
But now? With the very thing Ella had always wanted now available to her? The secret she had kept from him now hanging between them?
He walked to the window, watching them move across the yard. They turned down the path and then the trees hid them from view.
He watched a moment longer, Ms. Langton’s words filtering through his mind. As he looked at his children, he thought of Lisa. How she had accused him of holding her back. How, at times, she would voice her regret at having kids.
He set Oliver down on the floor, watching as he scurried over to the table to join his brother and sister, and in spite of Paul’s previous protest they were laughing as he climbed up the chair, grunting from his exertion. Then he stood on the chair, planting his elbows on the table, babbling at them in his mixture of words and jargon.
He smiled at the sight of his three wonderful, amazing children, thankful that Ella had pushed him to cut back on his obligations to spend more time with them.
And now, he had to make another decision.
Ella had an opportunity, according to her mother, to fulfill a lifelong dream.
And his children needed security. They didn’t need another loss in their lives. If Ella was leaving, then he hoped it was sooner rather than later. There was no way he was putting them—or his own heart—through more pain.
* * *
“I didn’t tell you the best piece of news,” Ella’s mother was telling her as Ella closed the door of her cabin behind her a few minutes later. “Blanche DuMonde, the curator of the gallery is in Calgary tomorrow for a meeting and was hoping we could meet with her.”
“Already?” Ella’s mind was still in a whirl after seeing her mother unexpectedly at Cord’s place. “I thought they weren’t making a decision for another month.”
“I know you haven’t sent anything yet, but she had an unexpected meeting in Calgary herself and thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to meet you face-to-face. So she called me this morning to see if you could come and I came as soon as I could.” Her mother sat down at Ella’s table, fairly glowing with excitement. “I can hardly believe this might actually happen.”
“It seems rather sudden, doesn’t it?”
Her mother looked taken aback. “Hardly sudden. You applied for this over a year ago.”
“Do they want a decision tomorrow?”
Ella’s mom looked baffled. “You need to think about this? You knew this was coming.”
“I knew the opportunity was coming,” Ella corrected. “I wasn’t sure I would get the offer. I haven’t shown them any new work.”
“Blanche was hoping you could bring what you’ve been doing to the meeting to help her in her decision. I know you’ve been painting...” Her mother let the word drift away as she glanced sidelong at the paintings Ella had stacked against the one wall. Ella had sent her mother pictures of her latest works but hadn’t received any feedback on them. Till now. “I would hope you haven’t shown any of these to the studio,” she said.
Ella heard the derision in her mother’s voice and her back stiffened in protest.
“They are as much a part of my body of work as my previous paintings.”
Ella thought her mother’s eyes would fall out of her head, they opened so wide.
“No. Don’t. Don’t even think about it,” she sputtered, waving a dismissive hand at the paintings that had given Ella such joy. “They wouldn’t take you seriously at all. You were considered based on your other work. Your serious work. Not these...these...cartoons.”
Ella fought down a beat of sorrow. “I put as much of my skill and talent in these works as I did in the other ones I’ve done.”
“Oh, your skill is easy to see, I’ll grant you that.” Her mother turned back to her, her expression pleading. “But this isn’t the kind of work that moves your career forward. Not the kind of work that a prestigious school and gallery would endorse.”
Her mother had far more training and broader experience in the art world than she did. Everything Ella knew, she’d learned from her mother and her own experimentation. And yet, in the past few weeks she’d felt freer in her self-expression than she had in all the years she’d painted previously. She was having fun. That had to count for something.
“You look like you’re unsure,” her mother said, getting up and taking her hands in hers. “This is such an amazing opportunity.”
“I know it is.” It was the type of job few artists could even dream of. Making art and having job security were concepts that seldom overlapped in the art world.
Her mother gently stroked a strand of hair away from her face, her expression softening. “I know you’ve had some hard times. Losing your baby. Losing Darren. Both of these put a huge hole in your life. I’ve seen how you drifted. Here’s a chance to find meaning and purpose again. We’ve made so many sacrifices, you and I, so many choices, all to get to this place. Your friend Cord feels the same way.”
This caught Ella’s attention. “Wait, what are you saying?”
“We were talking. Before you came back. He told me that he was amazed at your abilities and impressed with the potential job offer.”
“Not to take anything away from Cord, but I doubt he realizes the implications of this situation for me,” Ella said with a light laugh.
“He knows. I told him this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for someone of your talent. He completely understood.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, he agreed with me that it would be a good idea for you to take this position if it is offered, and I’m thinking that Blanche didn’t call the meeting for anything less.”
A shard of ice pierced her heart at her mother’s words. Why would Cord say something like that? And why would he say it to her mother?
“You can talk to him yourself,” her mother pressed.
She would. She needed to. She thought that she and Cord were coming to an understanding. That things were shifting between them. Cord was a father with responsibilities and was neither in a position to treat a relationship lightly nor the kind of person who would.
“What time are you meeting Madame DuMonde?” Ella asked.
“First thing tomorrow morning. I was hoping you would come back to Calgary with me tonight after we go out for dinner.”
“So soon?” Ella felt her breath leave her in a whoosh, thinking of everything she’d need to do before that. “I promised the kids we would make ’smores tonight after their supper.”
“You’ll have to cancel. We need to act quickly.” Her mother squeezed her lips together, her eyes holding Ella’s. “We can’t afford to look uncertain.”
A familiar panic gripped her. This job had been on her radar so long and was the reason she moved out there.
But now she felt as if the goal had shifted. Taken on a different shape.
But could she count on Cord? Especially when he had told her mother that he thought she should take the job?
Uncertainty plagued her as her mind shifted back and forth.
“Everything we’ve worked for is on the line here,” her mother reminded her. “The prestige of you being featured and working there will give my gallery a boost. I was told that if you take the job, it will give me an opportunity to showcase some of the artists they have in their gallery. I don’t need to remind you how difficult things have been for me financially.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ella said, a familiar weight slipping onto her shoulders. She’d been there before. With Darren telling her that she needed to help her mother out and, by extension, help him out. At that time, he’d had a stake in her mother’s business venture.
“I didn’t want to bring it up, but it is my reality. We’ve been through a lot together, Ella.”
And there it was. The debt that could never be repaid no matter how hard Ella worked. Her mother had raised her. Nurtured her. She could have given her up, swept her out of her life, but she chose to keep her.
As if Ella had to live a life of eternal gratitude that she’d even been born.
“Let me think about this,” Ella said. “You have to admit it’s all rather sudden.”
“I could have called you, but I was so excited I wanted to tell you in person.” Her mother’s smile held an edge of uncertainty and once again confusion gripped Ella.
“Why don’t you let me make a few arrangements,” Ella said. “Let me pray about this—”
“Honey, I’ve been praying enough for both of us,” her mother returned with a light laugh. “I believe this is an answer to those prayers.”
“I understand, but I need some time to process this.”
“How long do you need?”
Ella pulled in a slow breath, thinking. “Cord and I had made plans for tomorrow, which would obviously need to be canceled, and I need to make some arrangements for Pablo.”
She could go to the meeting. That much she owed her mother. She didn’t need to make a final decision. Yet.
“Take Pablo along. He can stay in the apartment.”
“If I go, I prefer to take my own car. That way you don’t have to bring me and Pablo back here.”
“Of course. I understand.” Her mother gave her a gentle smile. “So will you follow me or come on your own time?”
“I’ll come on my own time.”
“Fine, but don’t wait too long.” But Ella could see from the set of her mother’s mouth that that wasn’t fine at all. “Just
text me when you leave so I know when you’ll be arriving. Meanwhile I’ll call Blanche and set up our appointment for tomorrow.”
“Okay. Sounds good,” was all she could say.
Her mother gave her a hug, then clutched her shoulders, holding her gaze. “I’m so proud of you, Ella. This is a dream come true. Don’t let the opportunity slip out of your fingers.”
Ella’s only response was a careful nod.
Her mother held her gaze a few moments more, brushed a kiss over her cheek, then left.
As she closed the door behind her, she sighed. She felt like she was being backed into a corner. Her mother had brought her a wonderful piece of news. She should be thrilled.
Her mother certainly was.
But what bothered her most was that Cord seemed to think it was a good idea, as well.
Maybe that was the problem, she thought. Why would he think it was a good idea she consider the position?
She needed to talk to him.
Alone.
Chapter Twelve
“So it looks like Ella’s mom is gone,” Boyce said, taking a sip of his coffee as he glanced out the window. He looked sidelong at Cord, who was washing and drying the containers from Suzy’s and Paul’s lunch boxes. “Doesn’t look like Ella went with her.”
Cord knew that already. He felt like his phone, resting in his shirt pocket, was burning a hole against his chest.
Ella had texted him just after her mother left. Said she needed to talk to him. The simple words had sent a chill of dread through his veins.
The kids were in bed, tired from their exciting day, though both had complained bitterly when he put them to bed a few minutes earlier than normal. He let them watch a kids’ movie on Netflix, which had reduced the grumbling somewhat.
He hadn’t answered Ella’s text yet. He wanted to go to her place and talk to her without his father or any of the kids overhearing anything they said.
“So you going to talk to her? About this school art thingy?” Boyce asked, going directly to the heart of the matter.
“I need to discuss some things with her,” was all Cord would say, hanging the damp tea towel on the handle of the stove. The kitchen was finally clean and a welcome silence had fallen on the house. “About the kids and our plans for Friday.”
Courting the Cowboy Page 15
