Plain Peace

by Beth Wiseman

  “Goodness.” Emma’s forehead scrunched. “Who would do that?”

  Jacob shrugged. “Maybe she’s hungry.”

  “That’s what Anna said.” Emma sighed, then looked back and forth between Anna and Jacob. “Oh well. I’ll go tell Mamm what’s going on. And you two have a gut time.” She giggled before she turned and walked across the yard to her house, and Jacob smiled when he saw the flush in Anna’s cheeks.

  “Ready?”

  “Sure.”

  Jacob followed Anna to the family buggy and helped her in. He’d be glad when he had a topless spring buggy, more traditional for courting. The newspaper said the evening was going to be clear, no rain, and seventy degrees. Perfect.

  “I’m glad your grandfather changed his mind about letting you go out with me tonight.” He pulled the reins and eased Bolt backward.

  “Uh . . . what?” Anna raised her eyebrows.

  “Mei mamm said that your grandmother told her that she was working on your grandfather, that he wasn’t going to let you go out with me. I’m glad he changed his mind. I probably should have insisted that I pick you up at your haus so I could explain to him that it was my fault we didn’t make it to the singing. I feel bad about that.” He glanced to his right and smiled at her. “Your grandmother obviously swayed him.” He paused. “And I’m glad.”

  “Uh, ya. She must have.”

  “We can do anything you want, but I was wondering if you wanted to go eat first and we can decide over supper.”

  Jacob waited for her to answer, but she was biting her lip and seemed lost in thought.

  “Anna? You okay?”

  “Ya, ya.” She turned to him and smiled. “I’m fine.”

  Jacob nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. She was twirling the string of her prayer covering with one hand and fidgeting with something in her apron pocket with the other hand. Maybe she hadn’t been looking forward to the date as much as he had.

  A few minutes later they were turning onto Lincoln Highway. “What about pizza?” Jacob slowed the buggy, giving her time to answer.

  “That sounds gut.”

  Jacob guided the horse into the parking lot of Paradiso’s Pizzeria. Once he had the horse tied to one of the posts the restaurant kept for Amish patrons, he helped Anna out of the buggy. She was mighty quiet, and Jacob’s stomach churned. Maybe this date wasn’t such a good idea.

  Anna knew she was blowing it with Jacob. Her mind was everywhere else but here. Jacob was the first person to ask her out on an official date, and she was having trouble enjoying herself already. She’d never lied to her grandparents, and the deceit was weighing heavily on her mind.

  She reached into her pocket and fumbled with the item she’d found in her garden, wondering if she should show it to Jacob. She hadn’t even shown it to Emma earlier. The silver chain was slightly tarnished and the clasp was broken, but the dainty locket with a tiny picture of a baby boy inside had still been on the chain when Anna found it in the garden.

  Jacob asked what kind of pizza she liked, and she told him she liked all kinds. It was true. She even liked the little fishy things they sometimes put on pizzas. Taking a deep breath, she knew she needed to focus on her date, especially if she ever wanted Jacob to ask her out again. He ordered a large supreme pizza and two iced teas.

  Once the waitress was gone, Anna decided to show him the locket. Maybe that would take her mind off lying to her grandparents. She’d told them she was going to Emma’s, but not that Jacob would be picking her up there and taking her out.

  “Look at this.” Anna pulled the locket from her apron pocket and handed it to Jacob across the table. “I think the woman who was in my garden dropped it.” She waited while Jacob studied it, then added, “And for some reason, that boppli in the picture looks familiar to me.”

  Jacob turned it over and brought it closer to his face. “There’s an inscription on the back.”

  Anna sat taller. “Really? I guess I didn’t look that close. Can you read it?”

  Jacob squinted and moved the locket back, then closer again. “Barely. But it says . . . uh . . . it says ‘To Grandma.’” He handed it back to her.

  “Hmm.” She paused, gazing at the locket and wondering about its owner. “I didn’t get a gut look at the woman, but grandma is an Englisch word.” She shrugged. “I’d like to return it, but . . .” She giggled. “I wonder if she’d return our strawberries in exchange for the locket.”

  Jacob chuckled. Anna looked at those kind eyes and dimples and wondered what in the world a man like him was doing out on a date with her. Then she remembered she’d started all this by asking him to the singing. But he’d followed up with this date. She gave her head a quick shake, forcing herself not to overanalyze . . . or to think about her grandparents.

  “I, uh . . .” Jacob stopped when the waitress returned with their pizza. After she was gone, he said, “I just wanted to thank you for letting me talk to you about Leah the last time we were together. No one in mei haus mentions her name. It’s almost like she never existed, so it felt gut to talk about her.”

  “I guess everyone handles grief differently, but I’m glad it made you feel better. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.” Anna reached for a piece of pizza when Jacob did. Once it was on his plate, they both bowed their heads in silent prayer. Then Jacob waved his hand.

  “Let’s don’t talk about that this time. I did most of the talking last time. What do you like to do? Any hobbies?”

  Anna sighed. “Will I sound boring if I say no?”

  Jacob shook his head as he chewed on his pizza, then said, “Nee. Not at all.”

  Anna swallowed her bite of pizza, then bit her bottom lip as she avoided his eyes. Then she looked up and said, “There is this one thing . . . something I would like to do.” She shrugged. “I mean, I guess that’s not a hobby, but just something . . .”

  Jacob raised one eyebrow, his mouth full of pizza. He hurried to swallow. “What is it?”

  Anna cast her eyes down to her plate as she felt her cheeks flushing. “I’d like to open my own bakery someday.” She gazed up at Jacob, who was smiling. “Daadi would never allow it. He thinks women should tend to their husbands and homes. But Mammi has taught me to bake some of her special recipes. We sell them to all the nearby bakeries. I’d love to have my own place to sell our baked goods.” She dropped her eyes as she shrugged again. “I mean, it’s just a dream. The last thing Lancaster County probably needs is another bakery.”

  When she looked back up, Jacob had stopped chewing and was just staring at her. Her heart started thumping in her chest. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He tipped his head to one side and smiled. “I think it’s a nice dream. And sometimes dreams come true.”

  “Not this one, probably.” Anna took another bite of pizza. “But I like to think about it.”

  “You never know. When you’re out on your own—you know, married and all—you might be able to have your own bakery. That’s what Leah always wanted.”

  Anna swallowed hard, hoping she hadn’t upset Jacob. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Leah was the best cook in our family, even better than Mamm. She just had a knack for it. We’d always told her to open a bakery. Our daed especially wanted her to.”

  “So different from my grandfather.” She shook her head, then took a sip of tea.

  “Ya, there was a time when mei daed was the best father anyone could ever want.” Jacob sighed. “But everything changed after Leah died.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Jacob wiped his mouth with his napkin and shook his head. “Nee, I’m sorry. I really don’t want every conversation we have turning to Leah.” He sat taller. “So what would you like to do after this? I haven’t been here long enough to have a suggestion.”

  Anna hadn’t ever been on a date, so she wasn’t an expert at making these types of decisions either, but her favorite place to run away to was the train tracks down behind the Kauffman place
. Would Jacob find that entertaining? “I, uh . . .”

  “I should probably tell you . . .” His face reddened. “I don’t have a whole lot of money. I mean, I’m saving. I’m hoping to get a buggy soon.” Smiling, he added, “I’m probably lousy date material.”

  Are you kidding me? Anna felt like the luckiest girl alive. “Well, there’s this place I like to go. You might not like it, but it’s tucked away in a valley. There’s always a breeze blowing, and it’s the perfect place to watch the sun set. And the train comes by every evening right before dark.” She grinned. “I count the cars and wonder about what might be in them. I’m sure that sounds so dumb.”

  “I think it sounds wunderbaar.” Jacob laughed out loud as the waitress handed him their bill. “And it fits my budget.”

  Anna smiled as Jacob stood up and led her out of the restaurant to the buggy. And by the time they got to the train tracks, she was feeling almost comfortable. Jacob had spent the ride telling her about his life back in Middlefield. He and his brothers had always farmed the land with their father. This was his first time to work outside the home. A couple of times when he was talking, Anna wondered if he would mention Carolyn, the name she’d seen flash across his phone screen. But he never did.

  “This is a nice place,” he said as he parked the buggy underneath an oak tree.

  They got out and walked toward the railroad tracks. “Lancaster is that way.” Anna pointed to the west as she stood beside him in the plush green grass. Several trees formed a half circle thirty or forty yards from the tracks. On the other side of the tracks, green fields stretched for miles, and the farmhouses in the far distance looked like toy models.

  “When does the train come?” Jacob reached into his pocket, and Anna heard coins jingling.

  She studied the sun for a few moments. “About thirty minutes, I think.” Actually, she knew. She’d watched the sun set at this spot many times.

  “Come on.” Jacob grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the train tracks. She was pretty sure her hand was trembling.

  Once they got to the tracks, Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out two dimes. He handed her one and kept one for himself. Then he squatted at the edge of the tracks and placed his dime, tails up, on one of the rails. “Here, put yours beside mine.”

  Anna laid her dime on the track next to Jacob’s. “Will it flatten them? Or will they fall off the track from the vibration when the train comes?”

  “I guess we’ll see.” Jacob stood and again offered Anna his hand. “An old Englisch man told me once that if you make a wish and your coin is flattened, your wish will come true.” He turned to her, smiling. “So we should make a wish.”

  Anna squeezed her eyes closed. I wish that Jacob Hostetler could love me.

  “Did you make a wish?” Jacob stepped into the rail bed and peered to his left, then his right.

  “Ya. Did you?”

  He nodded. Anna wanted to ask him what he’d wished for, but then he might ask her, and she didn’t want to have to lie to him again.

  He reached for her hand once more, and together they walked back to the spot under the trees. Anna was sure she could spend the rest of her life just holding hands with Jacob. He had a strong, firm grip, and she wondered if her hands were as clammy as they felt. She was busy trying to slow her racing heart as they took a seat on a grassy spot beneath the trees.

  “Did you have a girlfriend back in Middlefield?” Anna winced the moment the words slipped from her lips. Her mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

  Jacob frowned as he stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back on his arms. “Ya. Her name was Carolyn.”

  Anna had never even held hands with a boy, and she wondered how far Jacob’s relationship had gone with Carolyn. She’d probably never know, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. But her mouth took over again before her brain caught up.

  “Was it serious?” She folded her legs underneath her and smoothed out her dress.

  “I guess.” Jacob turned to face Anna, his blue eyes flat and as unreadable as stone. “For her anyway,” he added.

  Anna felt sorry for the girl named Carolyn that she’d never met. She could imagine how it felt to fall for someone like Jacob, only to have him not return the affections. She needed to keep that thought in the forefront of her mind. But as Jacob reached for her hand and squeezed, ex-girlfriend Carolyn drifted from her mind.

  “Danki for bringing me here. It’s peaceful.”

  As he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, Anna almost panicked. How much did she really know about Jacob? How far had he gone with Carolyn? And how far would he expect her to go? Anna had never even been kissed. A wave of apprehension swept through her, but Jacob just stared straight ahead at the tracks in the distance.

  After a while, he turned to her and said, “I hope you get your bakery.” The warmth of his smile echoed in his voice, and Anna started to relax a little bit.

  “Danki.” She pulled her gaze from his and focused on the grass in front of her. “It’s a dream I’ve had for a long time.” When he didn’t say anything, she looked back up at him. “What’s your dream?”

  He eased his arm from around her and leaned back on both his palms, his expression tight. “I don’t know anymore.” He turned to her, and Anna wanted more than ever to ask him what he’d wished for when they put their dimes on the track.

  “There must be something,” she said softly. “If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?”

  Jacob’s expression was somber, and it didn’t take him long to answer. “Peace.” He paused, sighing. “Peace for me and my family.”

  Anna’s dream belonged to the physical world, and it touched her that Jacob’s was of a spiritual nature. But she wondered what he used to dream, and if he’d ever tell her about it. Was it the same thing he’d wished for at the train track?

  “I’ll pray that you get your dream,” she said softly, and Jacob’s arm found its way back around her shoulder.

  “Danki.” He sat taller and tapped her shoulder. “Hear it? The train’s coming.”

  She leaned an ear forward, realizing she’d miscalculated . . . or the train was early. “I hear it.”

  A fluttering in the tree above their heads made Anna jump. “I guess the birds hear it too.”

  Minutes later the train whistle blew, and the lead car came into sight. Anna was tempted to put her fingers in her ears as she often did to block the sound, but when Jacob leaned close to her, she didn’t.

  “What’s in the cars?” He was practically yelling, and Anna had to scoot away a little.

  “What?”

  Jacob got closer again, really yelling this time to be heard above the noise. “You said you like to guess what’s in the cars!”

  Anna smiled, then looked at the train. She tapped her finger to her chin. Most of the cars were red, but every third one was black. “I think the black ones have wheat, grain, and flour!” she hollered close to his ear.

  “What about the red ones?”

  She flinched a little as the whistle blew, then grinned. “Ice cream!”

  Jacob laughed. “What kind of ice cream?”

  “Chocolate, of course.” She bumped him playfully with her shoulder.

  He shook his head. “Nee, I think the black ones are filled with money. And the red ones are carrying pigs.”

  Anna laughed. “Money and pigs!”

  They kept guessing for the next few minutes as the train continued past them and laughing at the randomness of their speculations. The caboose was just rumbling by when Anna saw movement out of the corner of her eye. She hadn’t heard the buggy approaching until it was right up on them. They both stood up, and Anna was surprised to see Emma step out of the buggy.

  “Big trouble, Anna!” Emma hurried toward them, shaking her head. “Your daadi came to mei haus—just for a visit, so he said. But then you weren’t there!” She leaned over and put her hands on her knees. “I’m so sorry, Anna. Mamm told
him that Jacob picked you up.” She stood tall again. “He is really mad.”

  Anna couldn’t even look at Jacob. She wasn’t sure what was worse—that she’d lied to her grandparents, or that she’d lied to Jacob.

  “What?” Jacob asked, frowning.

  Emma took a few steps back. “I have to go. Just wanted you to know.” She paused. “’Bye, Jacob.” She said it like neither of them would ever see Jacob Hostetler again. And that might be true. For Anna, anyway.

  “I’m sorry,” she said as Jacob untied the horse from a nearby tree. “My grandfather was angry that we didn’t go to the singing, even though I tried to explain. He just wouldn’t listen, and I really wanted to go out with you.”

  Jacob’s eyebrows were drawn into a frown. “You shouldn’t have done this, Anna. Now how am I going to see you?”

  There was such an urgency in his voice that everything else fell away for a moment. He really wants to see me.

  “I’ll make Daadi understand why I didn’t tell him the complete truth.” Anna knew that wouldn’t be easy.

  “You didn’t exactly tell me the whole truth either.” Jacob’s smile softened the words as they climbed into the buggy.

  “I know.” Anna threw her head back and sighed. “I just wanted . . .” She stopped, knowing she’d already told him that she wanted to go out with him. This made her sound desperate.

  “Anna, I really wanted to go out with you too, and I had a great time. Even though it got cut short.” Jacob put the horse into a fast trot. “I think I should come in and talk to your grandfather when I drop you off.”

  “No!” Anna’s grandfather had embarrassed her enough in front of Jacob. “We need to let him calm down first.”

  “What if he doesn’t?”

  Anna was sure he wouldn’t. “He will.”

  When they pulled into Anna’s driveway, she realized this was the end of their first real date—unless you counted the one she’d initiated, the singing they didn’t go to. She held her breath, hoping and praying that her grandfather wasn’t waiting at the door.