by Beth Wiseman
Was he betraying Katie Ann by inviting the woman who had wrecked her marriage? It felt that way. But Katie Ann and Jonas were far away. Lucy and Benjamin were right here, and no matter what, Benjamin was Ivan’s son.
“Oh, I don’t think . . .” Lucy hung her head and shook it, then looked back up. “Thank you for asking, but I’m not sure that would be such a good idea.”
“My family isn’t even supposed to sit down and dine with me since I’ve been shunned.” Noah gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “None of us are perfect. We’ve all made mistakes. But Benjamin has lots of cousins that I know would love to meet him.” He grabbed his prescription pad from the counter and wrote down his address, phone number, and the date and time. “Here. I hope you and Benjamin will come. And your mother.” He smiled as she took the piece of paper. “My sisters are great cooks. And my wife, Carley, doesn’t do so bad either.”
Finally, Lucy smiled. “Thank you for asking us.” She picked up her son, a diaper bag slung over her shoulder, and walked toward the door. “And thank you for seeing Benjamin on such short notice.”
Noah’s heart was heavy. “I was happy to. Hope to see you both at the party.”
Lucy just smiled. Noah was fairly certain that they wouldn’t be there. He hurried around the corner and gave instructions to the receptionist to tell Lucy that Noah would bill her for the visit. After Lucy left, Noah revised those instructions. “Today’s visit was no charge. Don’t send her a bill.”
He walked to the window facing the parking lot and watched Lucy loading Benjamin into his car seat. They’d all despised Lucy for getting in between Katie Ann and Ivan, but Noah knew it took two to play that game. His brother was just as guilty. And no matter the circumstances, Ivan would want the family to accept Lucy and Benjamin into their lives.
But would Lucy allow that? Noah was pretty sure her choice to come to his clinic was more about money than family. That was okay. He’d still gotten to see Benjamin and to extend the invitation to Lucy.
The ball was in her court now.
Lucy was glad that she didn’t have to come up with the money for the doctor visit today. She’d get paid on Friday, and hopefully she’d have enough then to pay at least half of whatever the bill was. She couldn’t believe that Noah had invited her and Benjamin to a family gathering. She knew it had nothing to do with her, that it was all about Benjamin, but she was still surprised.
No way was she going to put herself through that, though. She could already picture the peering, accusing eyes of Ivan and Noah’s sisters, Rebecca and Mary Ellen.
Lucy knew she judged herself plenty without help from everyone else. But her pastor had said that the Lord forgives everyone, that anyone could have a relationship with Him. She was trying hard to believe that—to live a better life—even though her mother kept trying to derail her at every turn.
Speaking of judgment . . . Lucy shuddered at the idea of having her mother in the same room with Noah’s family.
Lost in her thoughts, she almost didn’t see the Amish woman walking on the side of the road. Once past her, she saw in her rearview mirror that it was the woman from the clinic. Cora, that was her name. They were still on the back road that led to Noah’s clinic, and there wasn’t any traffic. She backed up until she was beside Cora and rolled down the window.
“Can I give you a ride?”
“Ya. That would be great. It’s hotter than I thought it would be this time of day.” Cora opened the car door and got in. “It’s not very far. I was happy to walk to the clinic this morning, but this afternoon heat is oppressive.” She paused, smiling. “My daughters took the family buggy early this morning to go to town.”
“I’m happy to give you a ride anytime. I’ll give you my phone number. Just call me, and if I’m not working, I can take you wherever you need to go.”
“That’s so nice of you.”
They were quiet for a few moments while Benjamin happily chattered from his car seat in the back. Cora twisted around and put a hand out toward Benny. “He’s such a joy. I didn’t ask—is Benjamin your only child?”
Lucy swallowed hard, knowing this would probably put an end to her potential friendship with Cora. “Yes, he is.” She paused, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to be completely truthful either. “I’m not married, though. Benjamin’s father died.”
“Oh my. I’m so sorry.” Cora turned back around, then looked at Lucy. “How long ago?”
Lucy knew she needed to change the subject before she was either forced to lie or forced to tell the truth. “He died when I was pregnant with Benjamin.”
Cora shook her head. “So sad. He never got to see this beautiful child.” She pointed to her left. “Turn in here. That’s our place.”
Lucy pulled into the driveway. There was a large white farmhouse and a big barn. Like most of the Amish homesteads, it was very well kept. Two young boys stood near the barn. They stared at the car as she eased to a stop.
“That’s Abe and Eli, my two youngest.” Cora opened the car door. “And I have twin girls, Anna Mae and Mary Jane, and then my oldest son, Jacob.” She stepped out of the car. “Thank you so much for the ride.” Cora started to close the door but then pulled it wide, narrowing her eyebrows. “Uh . . . would you and Benjamin like to come in? Maybe have some coffee or iced tea? I made a raspberry swirl cheesecake early this morning.”
“We’d love to.” Lucy couldn’t put the car in Park quickly enough. It would be so nice to have a friend who didn’t know about her past and couldn’t judge her. Someone who could get to know her for the person she was trying to be.
“Wonderful!” Cora opened the rear door and began fumbling with Benjamin’s car seat while Lucy grabbed the diaper bag. Before they had the car doors closed, the two young boys had run up to their mom.
“Eli, Abe, say hello to Mrs. Turner. And this is her boy, Benjamin.” Cora adjusted Benjamin on her hip. “Isn’t he a handsome fellow?”
Both the boys said hello, then asked if they could come into the house for a while to rest since they’d finished most of their chores.
“I think that’s a fine idea.” Cora smiled. “And go down into the basement and fetch some of those old toys I have boxed up. There are some building blocks and a few other things that will entertain Benjamin.”
“Please don’t go to any trouble,” Lucy said as she followed Cora into the house.
“No trouble at all. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a little one around. I thought about giving these things away when we moved, but I just couldn’t.”
The house was stuffy even with the windows opened, but Lucy didn’t mind. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so welcomed—and by a woman who was surely still grieving the loss of her daughter.
Cora asked Lucy to follow her into the kitchen, where she started coffee brewing on top of the stove. A few minutes later Cora’s boys had unloaded toys onto the living room floor and taken Benjamin in there to play with the blocks. Lucy followed and watched them for a minute, then returned to the kitchen. It felt so . . . normal—her son being entertained by someone else’s children, having coffee and cake with another mother.
Cora placed a piece of cheesecake in front of Lucy, then sat down across the table from her. “The coffee will be ready shortly.” She paused. “Or would you prefer iced tea?”
“Coffee is just fine. Thank you.” She hesitated, not wanting to overstep. “Was Dr. Stoltzfus able to help you?”
Cora put her elbows on the large table and rested her chin in her hands. “He referred us to a counselor in Lancaster, and he said he can’t give John any medications without seeing him in his office. I asked him about herbal remedies, but the only thing he suggested was B-12. He said it’s a natural antidepressant, but I think John needs more than a vitamin.”
“Maybe your husband just needs time.” Lucy bit into the cool, creamy dessert and shut her eyes, savoring the sweetness.
“Maybe.” Cora shrugged. “Not many
people around here know—what ails my John, that is. Only one person, really.” She chuckled. “Ironically, it’s the bishop’s wife. Do you know Marianne Byler?”
Lucy leaned to the side and glanced around the corner into the living room—to check on Benjamin but also to give herself time to ponder how she should answer. Lucy certainly knew about the Bylers, and she had a pretty good idea what they would think of her. “I know that the new bishop is named Byler,” she said, “but I’ve never met either of them.”
“Marianne is wonderful. She’s the only woman I’ve felt close to since we moved here. Of course, much of that is my own fault because I haven’t wanted to be social. But being around Marianne just makes a person happy. She’s—I guess you could say she’s playful. She has a childlike attitude that just makes you want to be around her. I’ll introduce you sometime. You’d love her.”
Lucy bit her bottom lip, forcing a smile.
“Ach, coffee is ready.” Cora got up and returned with two cups of coffee, then brought over sugar and cream.
Lucy loaded her cup with both. “Thank you.”
For the next hour, they drank coffee and chatted—about the flowers Cora had finally gotten around to planting, about her family back in Ohio, about her hopes for her children. She talked a lot about how they were all trying to heal. And about Leah.
In return, Lucy told Cora all about her mother. Cora kept a stern expression throughout this part of the conversation. Then, when Lucy was done, Cora reached over and touched her hand.
“You shouldn’t have to live like that, Lucy. I understand that your mother has an illness, but it must be so hard for you.”
Lucy opened her mouth to tell Cora about her new walk with Christ, but fear stopped her. Telling about this new path would mean revealing the old one too, and Lucy wasn’t ready for that to happen. She was enjoying her fledgling friendship with Cora too much.
“She’s my mother,” she simply said. “I do the best I can with her.” She looked at her watch. “Speaking of . . . I’ve left Mom alone for hours today. I guess I better go check on her.” She stood up and reached for her coffee cup and plate.
“Oh, leave that. I’ll get it later.” Cora stood up too, and they walked into the living room. Abe and Eli were still entertaining Benjamin, and Lucy wished she had the boys around more often. She hadn’t seen her baby boy this content in a long time.
Lucy squatted down, thanked the boys for playing with Benjamin, then started to help them pick up the toys.
“Lucy, just leave that. Eli and Abe will get it all cleaned up.” Cora picked up Benjamin. “You come back to see us soon.” She kissed him on the forehead and handed him to Lucy.
“Thank you so much. This has been great.” Lucy smiled, then felt compelled to give Cora a hug, even though she knew the Amish weren’t typically affectionate with outsiders. Cora hesitated, but then she returned the embrace.
“You and Benjamin come back any time.” Cora walked Lucy to the door. Lucy stepped out on the porch, then turned suddenly.
“Oh, I was going to leave you my phone number in case you need a ride somewhere.”
“That’s right.” Cora smiled and clapped her hands together gently. “Wait right here.”
She hurried back to the kitchen and returned with a piece of paper and pen. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll have my cell phone number. The bishop here doesn’t allow them. But if I have to give mine up, I’ll go to a neighboring shanty to phone you.”
Lucy had been in Lancaster County long enough to know what a shanty was. Usually several families shared a telephone that was located away from their houses in a structure similar to a phone booth. Lucy wrote her phone number down on the paper and handed it back to Cora. Then she was on her way, feeling better than she had in a long time. She actually had a friend.
For now.
Cora told Eli and Abe to go finish their chores while she got supper started. But once her applesauce pork loin was in the oven, she sat down at the kitchen table and dabbed her forehead with a wet rag. She was surprised Lucy hadn’t said anything about how hot it was in the house. The Englisch woman was surely used to air-conditioning. Anna Mae and Mary Jane had come home shortly after Lucy left and gone upstairs to finish a sewing project and to strip the beds. Jacob would be home any minute, and she assumed John would come straight from the barn and go upstairs.
As their typical evening routine settled in around her, she felt a stab of longing for the way things used to be. Chatting with Lucy had been a welcome change, even though Cora had never meant to share so much. She hadn’t even told Marianne about John. But Lucy had appeared sympathetic and hadn’t seemed to judge her. Cora hoped to spend more time with Lucy and hopefully introduce her to Marianne. Maybe she would invite them both over for tea sometime. Cora knew she needed to get friendly with the other members of the district, but she dreaded having to keep retelling the story about why her family had moved here. She’d even backed out of attending Sisters’ Day, though Marianne had urged her to come.
She looked up when John walked in the door. He crossed over to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of iced tea.
“I made one of your favorites, applesauce pork loin, and I’ve got a fresh loaf of butter bread.” She recalled their night of intimacy—or lack thereof—and wondered if their marriage would ever be right again. “Mary Jane and Anna Mae said they spent time with some of the girls in our district today, and Abe and Eli helped me watch a new friend’s little boy.” Cora stood up and walked to the oven, realizing she hadn’t set the timer. “Maybe the kinner are finally starting to get settled here, no?”
“Ya, I hope so.”
Cora smiled. It wasn’t much, but it was the most positive response she’d gotten from John in a while. She moved closer and touched his arm. “Please eat with the family, John. Please.”
“I’m not hungry, Cora.” He walked to the rack by the kitchen door and hung his hat there.
“Even with your hat, your nose and cheeks are sunburned. There’s some ointment in the cabinet in our bathroom.”
Her husband nodded before he left the kitchen.
Cora just stood there by the sink, wondering how much longer she could live like this. But what can I do?
Back in Middlefield, she would have sought help from the bishop. But things were already strained between her family and Bishop Byler since the bishop had forbidden Jacob from spending time with his granddaughter. Marianne said she was been working on her husband, but Bishop Byler’s strict ways were well known in the district.
But there had to be someone who could help them.
For the umpteenth time, Cora begged the Lord to put joy back into their lives.
13
JACOB HADN’T HEARD FROM ANNA SINCE THEIR SECRET meeting by the train tracks. She hadn’t even been at worship service on Sunday. He’d wanted to talk to Bishop Byler then, but a thunderstorm had rolled in during the noon meal, so everyone had packed up and left early.
He’d gone to sleep every night for the past week with Anna on his mind instead of Leah. Anna was helping him heal, even if she didn’t realize it. He’d overheard her grandmother say on Sunday that she wasn’t feeling well, but he was curious why she hadn’t stopped by the lumberyard this past week. Had she been sick all week?
As he pulled into the Bylers’ driveway, his stomach churned. It was almost the supper hour, so Bishop Byler would most likely be home. He pushed back the rim of his hat, stood taller, and knocked on the door.
“Wie bischt, Marianne? I came by to check on Anna, to see if she’s okay.” Jacob swallowed hard, nervous but relieved that Anna’s grandmother was the one who answered the door.
“Hello, Jacob.” Marianne pushed the screen door open. “Come in, come in.” She smiled, and Jacob tentatively stepped over the threshold. All the windows were open, but the house was stifling hot, just like his house. Jacob was sure that if he could change one thing about their lifestyle, it would be to use electricity during the
summer months.
Marianne motioned for him to sit down on the couch. “Anna is resting, but she is all right. She’s been battling an awful case of poison ivy.” She paused, frowning. “On her face.”
Jacob raised his eyebrows. “Oh no.”
Marianne sat down on the couch beside him. She scrunched her face into a scowl. “I’m not sure how that poor girl got that stuff on her face, but she’s all blistered up.” She leaned closer and whispered, “I don’t reckon she wants anyone to see her like that. I made all the bakery deliveries for her this week, and she wouldn’t even go to Sisters’ Day with me.”
Jacob couldn’t imagine that anything could take away from Anna’s beauty. “Will you let her know that I stopped by to check on her?”
Marianne nodded. “She’ll be glad to know that.” She patted him on the leg. “But no need for you to run off. This will give us a chance to chat. Do you want some kaffi, or maybe a glass of iced tee?”
“Nee. Danki, though.” Jacob wondered where the bishop was. Both buggies were out front. He looked to his left, then to his right, half expecting Bishop Byler to be lurking somewhere nearby.
“Isaac isn’t here, dear.” Marianne smiled. “Deacon Lantz picked him up, and they are out making a few rounds.”
Jacob had heard about Bishop Byler’s rounds. The man went from house to house making recommendations, as he called them, for people to clean up their act. He wondered if his house was on the route today.
“I was hoping to talk to Bishop Byler.” He paused. Marianne smiled again, so he went on. “About Anna. I know we both made a couple of unwise choices, but I’d like a chance to prove myself to him. I care for Anna, and I’d like to get to know her better.”
This was so much easier than having to face the bishop. Maybe Marianne would convince him to allow Jacob to date Anna. According to Jacob’s mother, she was already working to change her husband’s mind.
