by S J Crabb
He then proceeds to make love to me in the most passionate, desperate way. Still no words are spoken and nothing else matters but our lust and need for each other. We come together as one and I now know that there is no going back. We are joined together and nothing can break us. This moment signifies the true beginning of our life together. Now I know that nothing will get in our way.
Chapter 27
Ben and I are lying in bed totally entwined together. Earlier Ben had made me dinner whilst I told him what had happened with Nathan. He never told me what he said to him and I didn’t ask. We both agreed that the secret would probably soon be out and we wouldn’t deny it. Things would continue as normal and we would deal with the fallout as it happened.
Ben wanted me to move in but I declined saying that I needed some normality in my life. I knew that he wasn’t happy but respected my decision.
We lie here just happy to be together. He strokes my arm and I nuzzle closer to him. He bends down and kisses my neck, “I love you Bella,” he says softly. I feel as though a huge weight has lifted and finally feel free to enjoy my relationship with him.
Soon we fall asleep and I couldn’t be happier.
The next morning Ben drops me off to the store and it is with some trepidation that I go to work. All appears normal and I am soon busy getting on with my work. April doesn’t ask me anything about yesterday and I don’t see or hear anything from Nathan.
I have decided to go home later as I feel the need to get back to reality. As I walk through the store I am conscious of somebody calling my name.
“Bella, wait up.” Looking around I can see Tina, Bradley’s girlfriend, racing towards me. I smile as she approaches and she smiles happily at me. “Oh thank goodness I have seen you. Are you ok?” She looks at me concern in her eyes and I smile back. “Tina, it’s great to see you. Yes I’m fine, despite all that happened since we last met.” Her face grows serious and she says, “I was sorry to hear about Nathan and Melissa. He is such a jerk. It didn’t get him anywhere though, except to lose the one person he loved. What an idiot.” I nod smiling but don’t say anything else. I don’t want to dredge it all up again. “Anyway Tina, how are you and Bradley?” Her eyes light up and she replies, “Great actually. Bradley has done really well at work and got a huge bonus. We are moving in together. We have bought one of those new houses in Ripley.”
She looks so excited and her enthusiasm is contagious. Feeling genuinely happy for her I say, “That must be some bonus. Those houses are very expensive.” She nods. “I know, who would have thought that he could earn a bonus so large. I am obviously in the wrong job.” After a bit more chit chat we go our separate ways and I think about Bradley’s good luck. He is also in IT for a large company and I am surprised at how much he has earned. He never appeared to earn huge sums of money but I am happy for them.
I get home later and feel instantly relaxed. Changing out of my business clothes into more comfy ones I find Phoebe chilling out on the settee.
“Bella, I need your help with colours for the bridesmaids,” she says, gesturing to several swatches of fabric laid out in front of her.
For the next two hours I immerse myself in her wedding plans, just glad to focus on somebody else’s life for a change. The doorbell rings and she quickly jumps up. “That will be Boris, he is staying tonight. I told him to pick up some take away for us on the way home.”
She answers the door and Boris staggers in under a ton of cardboard pizza boxes. He groans as he plops them down on to the table. “Phew, I never thought I’d make it.” Phoebe laughs and kisses him gratefully. “Thanks Bo, what did you get?” He laughs and says, “What didn’t I get? I wasn’t sure what you wanted so got a selection. Oh hi Bella,” he says suddenly seeing me.
He ambles over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Hi Boris, great to see you.” I grin at him. I adore him, he is so likeable and always in a good mood. In fact I don’t think that I have ever seen him upset or annoyed. He flops down on the settee and I help Phoebe deal with the pizza mountain. Soon we are all eating pizza and discussing their wedding. Despite the fact that it is still five months away, Phoebe more or less has it all covered.
I love spending time with the two of them. They are such good company and spark off each other constantly. Phoebe reverts to talking about the wedding again and says, “Will Ben be coming with you Bella?” I look at her in surprise, “Gosh now you come to mention it I suppose he will. The trouble is I expect that I will be quite busy being a bridesmaid so I had better introduce him to everyone before the day, otherwise he will be a bit out on a limb.” Phoebe nods and then says excitedly, “I know why don’t we all go out for a drink at the weekend. Then we can get to know him better and he won’t feel so awkward around us.” I smile gratefully, although I expect that it will be awkward at first. It is still so soon after Nathan, everyone is bound to feel uncomfortable at first.
Boris smiles and says, “What did you say his last name was again?” Phoebe shouts, “I told you, it’s Hardcastle, like the department stores.” Boris wrinkles up his nose, “Oh yes I remember now.” He looks deep in thought and Phoebe gives him a strange look. “What’s the matter Bo, you look like you have thought of something?” Boris looks puzzled. “I am sure that the name rings a bell. I just can’t quite place it.” Phoebe looks at me and I shrug my shoulders at her. “Oh well,” she says, “It’s bound to come back to you sooner or later.” I hug them both and turn in, “Night you two, try not to keep me awake will you?” Phoebe throws a cushion at me and laughing I head off to bed.
The week passes by uneventfully, thank goodness, and Friday comes around. I have arranged for us to meet Phoebe and Boris for a pub meal after work and Ben picks me up in the usual place. He was fine about going and I feel excited that we are meeting up with my friends as a proper couple would.
I see him waiting and my heart flips at the sight of him. He holds open the door and I get inside the car. Once he is in he grins at me and says, “Are you sure we have to go out with your friends? All I want to do is take you home to bed.” I hit him playfully and he laughs. “Come on, you will love them.” I say smiling. We chat about our day on the way and are soon at the pub. We are the first ones there so grab a table for four and order some drinks whilst we wait.
Ben appears in a playful mood and keeps on grabbing my leg under the table and running his hands up and down teasing me. Before long the others arrive and I introduce Ben to them. Phoebe gives him a huge hug and says, “Great to see you Ben. You obviously agree with Bella, she looks so happy.” Ben smiles at her and I can tell that he likes her. He holds out his hand to Boris who I notice has gone rather quiet and looks a bit uncomfortable. He shakes Ben’s hand but I know that something is wrong. Phoebe looks at me questioningly and I shrug my shoulders.
They sit down and we order our food. Despite Boris being extremely quiet Phoebe chats enough for them both. We all get along well but I can’t help feeling worried at Boris’s reaction. I can see that Ben has noticed and is looking thoughtful.
Towards the end of the meal Ben says to Boris, “Bella tells me that you work in the City. Who do you work for?” Boris looks uncomfortable and says, “Rogers and Goldstein.” Ben smiles and says, “I know them well. Is Simon still the CEO?” Boris nods and Ben looks at Phoebe and I. “I used to work in the City several years ago, before the Banking crisis. I worked for Montague‘s, a rival company to the one that Boris works for.” Boris nods and says, “I thought that it was you Ben. Small world.” Phoebe looks at me and I say, “Fancy that. Did you know each other well?” Ben smiles. “No, not at all, but I expect that Boris knows me more by reputation than anything else.” Boris flushes and looks awkward again.
I am intrigued. This is the part of Ben that I know nothing about. Judging by the atmosphere though the memories are not happy ones. Phoebe coughs and changes the subject by asking Ben about his hobbies. Boris catches my eye and gives me a rueful smile. I feel a bit unnerved and vow to question Ben ab
out it later.
We manage to get through the rest of the evening with no more awkward silences and say goodbye to Phoebe and Boris. As we drive home I ask Ben why it was so obviously awkward. He looks tense. “When I worked in the City I had a difficult job. It made me unpopular and I made many enemies. It is why I got out when I did. Despite the fact that I made so much money, I decided that it wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, so I invested in my first department store and you know where that led me.” I sit quietly thinking about what he said. I am itching to know more but don’t ask. I don’t want to pry and I am sure that Phoebe will extract all of the information from Boris anyway, so I make my mind up to ask her instead.
Chapter 28
Over the next few weeks I am surprised to find that our relationship is still not common knowledge. Nathan keeps out of my way and if I do see him in the distance he goes the other way. I am surprised given how angry he was and mention it to Ben over dinner one evening. He looks at me with a grim expression. “I very much doubt he will say anything or come near you again after what I said to him.” I raise my eyes. “Which was?” Sighing he looks directly at me. “I told you that I would do anything to protect you. I merely said that if he valued his job and reputation he would keep away, and that if I heard one word about our relationship getting out from him then he would be dismissed.”
I look at him the shock I know very evident on my face. He reaches over and holds my hand. Looking deeply into my eyes I can feel them drawing me in. “I will not apologise for what I said. He doesn’t deserve your sympathy and he is just lucky that I kept him on.”
I don’t know what to say, using his position to intimidate Nathan doesn’t sit well with me but I sort of understand it too. I jump up to clear the table and I can feel Ben’s eyes burning into my back. I know that he is ruthless. Phoebe told me as much when I caught up with her after our evening out. She told me that Boris had said that Ben was feared in the City. Apparently many “good men” as he put it had lost their jobs because of him.
It was just before the banking crisis when everything was up in the air. Boris wasn’t sure but he heard rumours that Ben was more involved in that than was common knowledge. He left around the same time with a huge pay out obviously, otherwise how could he afford to set up his store empire? Phoebe told me to be careful, she said that Boris was usually right and she didn’t want me to get hurt. I never told Ben what she said and kept it to myself. It’s not a side of him that I recognise and I don’t want to know about it. I told myself that all that mattered is how he treats me and my family and I cannot fault him on that. The past should be left behind, although it is ironic as he is my past returned.
Despite Ben’s constant demands that I move in with him I stay put at my flat. I still spend most of my time with him but I don’t feel ready to make that step just yet. Gradually we are transforming the store and it is beginning to take shape. Ben is often away at the other stores and life settles back to almost normal.
A few months later as I head to the staff room for lunch I notice that Nathan is sitting with a stunning woman. She has long dark hair and is slim and pretty. Her clothes are very fashionable and she gazes up at him seductively as they sit, their heads together almost touching. I can see that they are attracted to each other and I wonder who she is. They don’t see me as they are so wrapped up in each other and I just feel pleased that he has found somebody new.
When I return to my office I mention it to April who looks at me awkwardly. “Oh that’s Sophie. She has just transferred from Brighton. She is the department manager for fashion.” I smile and say, “Come on then tell me the gossip, are they going out?” She looks at me with concern and I laugh, “April, Nathan and I were over a long time ago. I am pleased if he has found someone else.” She visibly relaxes and smiles. “I am surprised that you didn’t hear about them sooner. They have been dating for about a month now. She seems nice and Billy says that Nathan is a lot happier now.” I smile and sitting down in my chair think about what April has told me. It did feel strange to see him laughing and flirting with somebody else, like he used to do with me and I would be lying if I said that it didn’t affect me at all. He was always such good fun and as much as I love Ben he is always more intense and nowhere near as light hearted as Nathan was. I get on with my work and tell myself that I am pleased for him.
Ben is away for the next few days so I go home for some much needed time with Phoebe. She runs towards me as soon as I am through the door and says, “Bella thank goodness. Please will you come out with me tomorrow to look at dresses? My Mother and Auntie Doreen are coming so I need somebody sane to be there too.” I laugh at her as she is totally right. She obviously inherited her wacky ways from her mother and her aunt isn’t much better. I am looking forward to it and agree readily.
The next day dawns and we find ourselves at the local bridal shop knee deep in wedding dresses. The shop is beautiful and the three of us are sitting on a cream couch sipping champagne whilst Phoebe tries on every dress in the shop. Her mother is hilarious and cries at every dress that she puts on, even the hideous ones. Her aunt just rolls up laughing at every one which sets me off. Phoebe is having a ball I can tell and I haven’t laughed so much in ages.
After about the 20th dress she looks at me and says, “Bella, come and help me change into the next one will you?” I nod and follow her into the changing room. We get the giggles as she gets stuck in it and I can’t find her amongst all the ruffles and lace. “The zip is stuck,” she yells laughing hysterically. I try to disentangle her but there is so much fabric it is almost proving impossible. After about 10 minutes I succeed and she emerges very red in the face and laughing fit to burst.
“I don’t think I’ll have this one,” she says gulping for air, I nod and laugh saying, “Can you imagine Boris trying to get you out of it on your wedding night. That would be a sight I would pay to see.” She laughs and picks up another one. “How are you B? I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“I am fine, just busy with work as usual, although I do have some gossip.” She freezes holding the dress in front of her and grins excitedly, “Go on spill.”
“Well I saw Nathan with another girl, apparently they are dating.” Her hand flies up to her mouth and Phoebe’s eyes widen in shock. Taking her hand away she says, “Oh my God, was it strange seeing them, did she look like you?” I grin. “No on both counts. In some way I am glad that she looks different to me. It would be a bit creepy if he went for someone like me, don’t you think?” Phoebe nods and then says softly, “Are you sure you didn’t feel a tinge of regret? It must still be weird seeing your ex with someone else, especially as you were supposed to be the one trying these dresses on in the first place.” I shrug my shoulders and picking up the dress I play with the luxurious fabric. “I suppose it did feel a bit strange. Although I have never thought that your wedding was supposed to be mine. I mean I never really got into it in the first place and I always associated it with you anyway.” Phoebe’s eyes soften and dropping the dress she races over and hugs me to her. “I love you B, I am glad that you’re happy. I couldn’t bear to be this happy if you weren’t.” Tears come into my eyes and we both stand here blubbing on each others shoulders.
We hear her mother shouting, “Hurry up in there. You’ll be at your first anniversary at this rate.” Pulling apart we grin at each other and get back to the serious business of choosing the dress. Phoebe ends up choosing one of the first ones that she tried on. It is white silk with a lace bodice. It is tight fitting at the top and then flows out from the hip. The train is long and covered with lace and it is simple and elegant and she looks like a supermodel. We all cry in the end and the shop assistant opens another bottle of champagne. Phoebe then gets me to try on every bridesmaid dress in the shop. She has decided that I will be the only adult one and her two nieces will be the flower girls. We decide on a beautiful deep blue silk dress that mirrors her dresses style and the shop assistant shows me some shoes that she ca
n have covered in a matching fabric. Decisions made we all head out to the local Italian restaurant for a well earned lunch, although we are feeling a little bit merry from all of the champagne.
The wedding is now 8 weeks away and we all chat about what there is left to do and what we still need to buy. Phoebe has most things covered and it is just up to me to organise the Hen night.
After floating around a few ideas we decide to go paintballing followed by a barbeque and then out on the town to the local nightclub. Phoebe has prepared the list of friends that she wants to come and I say that she can leave the rest for me to organise. Laughing to myself I think of her wish to go paintballing. Most people would prefer a spa break but not Phoebe. After saying goodbye to her mother and aunt we head off home and decide to watch Bridesmaids on DVD.
Chapter 29
Ben and I have a rare day off together and are going clay pigeon shooting. I told him ages ago that I would like to try it and he surprised me this morning with it.
Luckily we only have to drive for about half an hour and then we are there.
We drive into a large country estate and I feel very excited at the prospect of trying something new.
There is a group of other people waiting and we all introduce ourselves. They seem like a good bunch and we soon find out that many of them are also here for the first time.
Our instructor explains how it all works and we follow him out to where we will need to stand. Ben looks excited and his face mirrors mine as we grin at each other. It is ladies first so I follow the two other ladies who appear to be quite good at it. I take the gun in my hand and follow the instructions. I am wearing ear defenders and feel quite nervous. I hope that I don’t show myself up. I shout, “Pull,” and they release the clay. I take aim and fire - and miss. Gritting my teeth in determination I shout again and fire, this time I graze the side of it. The force of the gun pulling against my shoulder is intense and I am not sure how many more I can do. I take a break and let the other ladies have their go. Ben comes over and tries to help me with some tips. I shake him off, determined to do it on my own. He laughs and walks away to watch. When it is my turn I listen intently to the instructor and once again take aim and fire. This time I hit it and I watch it splinter and fall to the ground. I feel exhilarated and grin over at Ben who applauds me grinning.
