“You’re beautiful,” Clifford murmured in her ear when they got home and started to cuddle on the couch. “You know that, right? You are the most beautiful woman to ever live.”
Lori’s heart fluttered but she pushed it down. The conversation she had had with Serena was still strong in her mind, and she knew that she couldn’t let it make her hope for things that weren’t going to happen. Yeah, she liked Clifford. The more she got to know him, the more she liked him. But in the end of it all, sex and pregnancy weren’t enough. She needed more to have a relationship.
The really sucky thing was she wasn’t even certain what that something else was.
A frown crossed her face as she twisted to stare at her lover and baby daddy. The smile on his face faded as he caught her expression and he cocked his head to one side.
“What is it?”
Lori chewed her lip for a moment. Perhaps it was because she was just a notch on his bedpost. The pretty girl he hired and had lots of sex with. How many others had there been?
Did she dare ask? Of course she did–that was who she was. She didn’t just sit back and accept what was happening. She delved into the deepest issues in order to know exactly what was facing her. Or at least, that was what she liked to tell herself.
“I think we need to talk about our past relationships.” Lori held her breath for a moment, then nodded. “We swapped the tests and whatnot, but I think it’s time we talked about the people and the numbers.”
Clifford glanced away. “Ah, Lori. Don’t you think it’s best for the past to just stay there?”
“No, I don’t. I think that we are having a baby together and we’re sleeping together practically every night. We need to know where we’ve been before we can know where we’re going.” She sucked in a deep breath. And hopefully, neither of us gets wildly jealous. “I’ll go first.”
Clifford grumbled under his breath but nodded.
Her palms suddenly felt very sweaty. Lori rubbed them against her knees, considering exactly how to tell him about her history. “Um… Well, I’ve had a few. I’ve had three serious relationships and I’ve been engaged twice.” Her eyes darkened as she considered her ex-fiancés, and the mountains of guilt they placed on her to basically force her into saying yes to their proposals. “I’ve never had a pregnancy scare before, though. I’ve always been very, very careful. There were quite a few one-night stands.”
She chewed her lip. Would he call her a slut, like her last boyfriend, and then go on to sleep with her best friend? Well, not the last part. Her best friend–only friend, if she was honest–at the moment was Jasmine.
However, Clifford’s expression was only accepting. He nodded. “I’ve had many, many flings. I’ll be honest. I don’t recall all their faces. There were a couple of pregnancy scares in my youth, but I got smart quickly. There was one serious relationship, but that was a few years ago. I’ll be honest. I am ashamed of my past. I treated sex like… like a trading card.”
Lori had to stifle a giggle at the description. She nodded. “I did, too. I guess we’re quite a pair, hey?”
Clifford grinned at her. “Yeah, we are. Both experienced pros and yet… you’re the one who made me forget about protection. You’re the one that I got pregnant.”
“With twins, don’t forget that.”
“I won’t.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to each of her fingers. “You make me forget a lot of things, but that’s not one of them.”
Heat swirled in her core but Lori ignored her growing desire. They needed to talk. There had been enough of making love, now they had to figure out what their futures would be. And she couldn’t do that with her knees around his ears.
“I have never had a job longer than three months. Unless I’m still technically working for you,” she added. “I’ve worked a lot of jobs in my life and I lie on my resume all the time. Once I even considered putting pictures online, but I was never that desperate. I never had a reason to hold a job. It’s not like I spend a ton of money. I was just trying to be happy. But I will get a job. I will be a secretary or something, and I won’t come begging to you for money constantly.”
“I don’t mind—”
“I do. I don’t want to be a kept woman.” Lori sat a little straighter as determination burned through her. Even if she had to work the rest of her life flipping burgers, she was going to show their children the value of hard work. “I know how to do a lot of stuff, it’s just a matter of sticking with it.”
Clifford tugged her back next to him and captured her in his arms. “I don’t think you’re the kind to be satisfied with traditional work. What you need is to start your own business.”
It was a dream of hers, but one she never thought she could achieve. Lori was quiet.
“Come on. Tell me some of the things you’re interested in.”
“Nothing I could make a living at.”
Clifford cocked a brow. “Nothing? You’re good at sewing and you’re taking a fashion design class. You want to make plus-sized clothing. Do you think you can’t reach your target market?”
Lori hesitated. “it’s just… it would take so much work and those babies are being born in three months. I can’t very well support us in dreams.”
“Sounds like you need an investor. Someone who knows how to start businesses, someone with a lot of money… I’ll see if I can get a meeting with Isaias Durant for you. Your sister nannies for his sister, you’ve already got an in there.”
It was more than she dreamed of. Lori started to smile, started to let herself get excited, but shut it down quickly. She didn’t know the first thing about starting a business and was still in the middle of the fashion design program. Yeah, she’d take the meeting and she’d love to have Isaias’ help in starting up. But the fact was, she was going to need something right away to pay for her apartment and put the babies in diapers.
“That would be good, to be able to start getting that organized and to think of what exactly I need to do to be successful,” she said slowly. “But I’ve been relying on you for six months already. Don’t you think it’s time I start being responsible for my own life? I mean… as much as I love being taken care of, I don’t want our girls to grow up thinking that they can expect men to do all the work for them, you know?”
Clifford sighed. “I’m hardly doing all the work. You cook and clean and you’re growing two babies. After they’re born, you’re going to be their primary caretaker. I know that we’re falling into traditional gender roles… but you do know that most businesses don’t start from thin air, right? Many of them get a hand up. When starting my practice, the matriarch invested a lot of money in me.”
“I… I didn’t know that.”
“And if you feel bad about just taking my money… well. We could always get married. Then people would expect you to concentrate on taking care of the babies for the first couple years. And you’d have more time to figure out your creative side.”
“Marry.”
Lori wasn’t entirely certain what to think. Surely he wasn’t suggesting that they just head to the altar right now. They had just barely had their discussion about their pasts and were right in the middle of discussing the future. You didn’t just propose to someone out of the blue, especially when they had just said that they wanted to be responsible for themselves.
She pulled away from him. He grinned at her. Normally it would make her panties melt, but in this case, the spark it lit wasn’t desire. It was anger.
“Where the hell did that come from?”
His smile faded. “Where did what come from?”
“That! You just proposed to me.”
He blinked. “Yeah. I did. Why are you angry about that?”
“Angry? Why am I—” She threw her hands into the air and shook her head. Her fingers shook and she quickly stuffed them under her arms, keeping her elbows sharp and pointed out. “That came out of nowhere. You can’t just randomly propose to people.”
“Randomly?” C
lifford moved back a little. His brow furrowed. “You call that random?”
Lori hesitated. “Yes.”
“Then you haven’t been paying attention. I thought it was obvious how I felt. I haven’t been worrying about you constantly just because you’re pregnant. I haven’t been making love to you every time I can because you’re some sexy, available warm body. You’re the one who said we had to talk about our future. I thought you were leading up to it.”
“I… wasn’t.” She hadn’t let herself think that he might want her like that. To have and to hold. For richer and poorer. Forever. Now that he had all but said it, she didn’t know how to take it. He wasn’t the kind of guy that fell in love with her kind of girl.
Clifford took her by the hands. “Lori. I know that it’s been confusing and a little scary, but these past few months… they’ve shown me that I want only one woman for the rest of my life. And that woman is you.”
“But we haven’t even dated. All we do is have sex.”
“We make love. That’s far different than just sex.”
Lori shook her head. What was she supposed to say? Oh God! What was she supposed to do?
Clifford moved back a little and grimaced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a whole thing out of it. If you don’t feel the same way, then that’s okay. I will keep a professional distance and we can—”
“No.” Lori swallowed hard. “No. It’s not that at all. It’s… I, uh, I… I have feelings. Deep feelings. They’re not just sexual. I don’t really know what else to say, I’m not ready for… for more than that right now. The only men who told me they loved me were liars. I’m not saying that you are, too, but I’m just… I’m not ready. To hear it or to say it.”
“Of course.” Clifford let out a deep breath and gave her a rueful smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“Yes… well.” She brushed a hand through her hair. “Thank you for the suggestion, I suppose. I’m not sure what else to say to that. I’m going to need time. I’m sorry, I—”
Clifford cut her off with a gentle kiss. “I’m sorry. You’re sorry. We have nothing to be sorry about. Take all the time you need to make your decision, Lori. And dream about what you want from the future we have time. There’s no rush.” He brushed the hair from her face, his gaze so warm that she had to melt into him again. “I’ll be here. I promise.”
Chapter Twelve
Days passed.
Clifford tapped his pen against the top of his desk, eyes unseeing as he gazed around his office. Even though he had decided not to actively take cases until Bauman was taken care of, it didn’t mean he didn’t have work to do. There was a lot of housekeeping that he preferred to do himself. It wasn’t as sexy as going to court, but he always felt like he needed to take time every now and then in order to keep himself grounded. He didn’t want to be one of those men who lived in their ivory towers, completely out of touch with the world.
He sighed as he put the pen down. Unfortunately, right now he wasn’t getting much work done. Any, in fact. His gaze roamed over the custom furniture, his large book shelf, the degrees hanging on the walls. He had always been driven. Always. When he set his mind to something, he drove the hammer in until he got what he wanted.
It wasn’t what he could do with Lori, though. With her, if he pushed, he knew he’d lose her. He had to step back and give her space and time. It wasn’t as if he resented having to give her time, but he was unused to the power being in someone else’s hands.
The way she spoke… it was clear that she had feelings. But what those feelings were, he wasn’t entirely certain. It wasn’t like he was able to really vocalize his own that well. But she wasn’t ready for anything deeper than what they had already said, and so he would wait. Maybe buy her a box of chocolates on the way home. Or a new sewing machine… she’d probably appreciate that more.
His phone rang. Clifford answered quickly, grateful for the distraction.
“Cliff, the matriarch’s been attacked.” Natasha’s voice was high, stressed. “You have to get to the hospital. We’re all headed there now. Bauman’s taking responsibility.”
Clifford froze, his phone pressed to his ear. It had been so long since Bauman’s threat that Clifford started to think he had backed off. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. How could he have been so stupid? But then, nobody suspected that Bauman would go after the matriarch…
“I’m on my way,” he promised as he jumped to his feet. He could hear Serena crying in the background and reached for his jacket.
Driving to the hospital put him on edge, afraid that Bauman would use this opportunity to attack him in the street. He reached the hospital without incident, though, and found it swamped with security, both the human police and Marcus Haught’s bears. They greeted each other grimly and Marcus took him to where his family waited.
Hayley had an arm around Serena as she sobbed softly. Natasha paced, her hands yanking at her hair. Tristen stood at the window, gazing out. Clifford went to his sister, who looked at him with wild eyes. She grasped his arms but didn’t speak. Instead, it was Lori who answered his unspoken question.
“She’s in critical condition.” Lori put a hand on his arm.
“What happened?” Clifford’s voice was rough. “For a bear to end up in critical condition…”
Lori’s hand dropped to his and she pulled him a little further from the group. Her gaze was full of sympathy and fear, at the same time. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and comfort her, but he couldn’t make himself move. Not yet, at least.
“A bomb was set off in city hall. They’re still looking into it but it seems like it was right in her office. There were several others who were injured in the blast, but none as bad as her. No deaths.”
That was a relief, at least. Clifford dug his hands into his hair. If this was Bauman, then an attack on the matriarch was more than just a message to him. It was a message to the clan; evict the Boones or suffer the consequences. His gaze landed on Serena. With the matriarch out of commission, she was going to be expected to step up and act in her stead.
Was that what Bauman was hoping for? To force Serena into the spotlight, so that Clifford wouldn’t be able to protect her as well as Lori?
“Clifford.” Lori’s hand tightened in his. “The doctors are operating right now, but it doesn’t look good. They aren’t sure that she’s going to make it.”
Clifford’s mind spun. He pressed his hands to his temples, forcing himself to focus. There was nothing he could do to make the matriarch get out of surgery any faster. Right now, his family needed him. And he needed to know more about what had happened.
He pressed a kiss to Lori’s temple and led her back to the others before moving to Marcus.
“How did Bauman say he did this?”
“Phone call. I got it just before the bomb went off, so it can’t be a coincidence.” Marcus’ eyes smoldered. “Who is this clown, anyway? My men and I will tear him apart, human due process be damned. He’s putting our clan at risk and—”
Clifford shook his head. “He’s been on the run from human authorities for quite a while. I doubt that they’d care much if you killed him. He’s a criminal and a shifter.”
Horror came over Marcus’ face. “He’s a shifter?”
“Yeah. His clan and my mother’s clan were rivals, and he wants to wipe out the rest of us. All of us.” His gaze lingered on Serena and Lori. “I was so concentrated on protecting my children and their mother that I forgot that Bauman likes collateral damage.”
Marcus opened his mouth, but his phone rang. With an apologetic expression, he answered it. Clifford stood where he was, half listening to Marcus’ conversation while looking at the women of his life. If he lost any of them, mother, sister, niece, lover, he didn’t know what he’d do. It was his job to protect them, and at the moment, that seemed like an insurmountable task. He took in a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly.
There was only one thi
ng to do. One way to ensure that Bauman wouldn’t be able to get at them. Bauman was vicious and fierce, but even he had limited reach. It would mean giving up everything they had built here, but it was worth it for their safety, wasn’t it?
His mind made up, he returned to them. Tristen gave him a side glance, but he ignored it as he gestured for Natasha and Lori to join Hayley and Serena. His heart beat shallowly, tapping out a rapid pattern against his ribs. It made him shudder. But if this was the only way they could be safe, then so be it.
“We’re going to move,” he announced quietly. “There’s no time to pack up everything, so as soon as we get home we’ll each pack one bag and then head for the airport. I’ll buy tickets to take us to Scotland. We’ll be well out of Bauman’s reach and we’ll—"
“Be running away,” Serena said softly.
Lori’s hand tightened in Clifford’s. “We can’t just leave now. Not with the babies and—”
“It’s the only way we’ll all be safe.” Clifford glanced around at them. Natasha was the only one that looked like she was even considering what he was saying. Frustration rose up inside of him but he swallowed it down. “Bauman has proven he doesn’t care what he has to do in order to get at us. If we leave the country, then at least we’ll be out of his reach.”
Serena shook her head. “You can go, Uncle. Take Lori and get her out of harm’s way. But if the matriarch dies? Then I have to step up to my responsibilities. Even if she doesn’t die, I have a job to do here. I’m not going to run away just because I’m afraid.”
Hayley squeezed her shoulders and didn’t speak.
“Serena, I know that you have responsibilities here. But you didn’t ask for them. You didn’t want them. Remember all through your teenage years—”
“I’m not a teen anymore.”
Clifford closed his eyes briefly. “You can’t help anybody if Bauman targets you next.”
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