by Jen Talty
“Just wanted you to have that,” Benster said. “See you tomorrow.” He waved, turning his back.
Shane continued tossing his wadded paper.
“My team leader is sending Foster and me to check out two possible religious connections outside of this area. We leave tomorrow afternoon.”
“Going to ditch me again?” The moment the words left his lips he regretted them. “I didn’t mean that,” he said.
“I can honestly say I’ll be back.”
Shane laughed. “Guess we’ve come a long way in a few short days.”
“Yep,” she said.
“Breakfast tomorrow before you leave?” he asked.
“Only if it’s the greasy spoon on the canal.”
“I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“I’ll be ready,” she said.
Shane watched her walked through the bullpen, her hips swaying slightly. He sighed. He might have gotten over her years ago, but now that she was back…he was still hung up on her.
Chapter 10
“I’M SO GLAD THIS is exactly as I remember.” Kara smiled as she sat down at the table at the best greasy spoon on Schoen Place, overlooking the canal. There hadn’t been any booths left, and they were lucky to even get a table since the restaurant was packed. “Everything looks so different everywhere else, but not this place.”
“You look the same.” Shane flashed a boyish grin and winked. He had always been a unique character. A gentleman, mostly, though he had a bit of the devil in him, always flirting. Back in the day, he’d only flirt with her. It always made her feel special. Still did. Only now, she wondered who else was receiving a good dose of Shane’s charm.
“Very kind of you to say.”
“No, it’s true. I mean, sure, you’ve aged some, but you really do look exactly like I remember. Still the prettiest woman in the room.”
“And you’re still a smooth talker.” She tucked her hair behind her ears.
“Had to be,” he said. “No one could call you easy and it took a long time to get into your—”
She held up her hand. “I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not,” she said.
The waitress came by and they both ordered coffee, French toast, and eggs, with well-done bacon.
As the waitress poured the steaming dark liquid in their mugs, Kara looked out the window, across the street to the drained canal. She always thought it strange they lowered the level in the winter. The sun tried to pop through the clouds. People were out strolling or running down the canal path in their winter workout clothes. “The M.E. said—”
“I don’t want to talk about the case,” Shane said. “Not this morning. We’ll have plenty of time before you leave this afternoon.”
“What do you want to talk about, then?” Kara took a sip of her coffee, fighting the urge to rub her foot against his firm calf like she used to do in the high school cafeteria.
“Anything but the case,” he said. “I had dreams about it last night.”
“So did I. It’s been all-consuming.”
“I have moments of reprieve with Kevin,” he said. “But this morning was different. I dropped him off at school.” Shane toyed with the spoon, swirling his coffee, obviously pondering something that weighed heavy on his shoulders. “I watched as Kevin walked into the elementary school, turning and waving at me with a huge smile, and it reminded me that someone had to die so he could live.”
She reached across the table and touched his hand. His fingers lifted, closing around hers.
“It’s not like I haven’t always known that,” he continued. “We’ve been through all sorts of counseling. Therapy. Group sessions. Talked with people whose loved ones had donated their organs. When Janet died, they held her on life support for an hour. It was an easy decision for me to agree to have all her organs harvested.”
“She wasn’t a donor?”
“We kept saying we’d get around to putting that on our licenses, but never did. But I didn’t think twice about signing those papers. It’s what she would have wanted.” He tilted his head and locked gazes with Kara. “Someone out there is walking around with Janet’s heart.”
“Does that bother you?”
“No,” he said. “It gives meaning to her death. Only, Kevin really misses her and sometimes he’ll rub his scar. He doesn’t think I’m looking, but I can tell he’s wondering about where it came from… who had to die so he could live.”
“I would think it’s hard for a small boy to deal with.”
Shane held her hand with both of his, stroking her skin with his fingertips. “Christ,” he said. “How did we got on this topic? I wanted to talk about something light. Fun. Not deep and emotional shit like organ donation or depressing like the case.”
The waitress showed up with their food and Kara had to pull her hand away. Immediately she felt cold and disconnected. While the waitress poured more coffee, she buttered her French toast and poured syrup all over it, the eggs, and her bacon, enjoying the aroma of cinnamon and coffee. Just as she dug her fork into a large bite of eggs, Shane touched her hand.
“Thank you for listening.”
“Any time.” She smiled. “Now can I eat my eggs, because I’m starving, and I haven’t had a good greasy spoon breakfast in years,” she said, sensing his need to move onto another conversation.
He laughed. “How you managed to stay so thin with the way you eat has always amazed me.”
“I’m not as skinny as I used to be,” she said between bites of the best breakfast known to man. The eggs were fluffy. The bacon perfectly over-cooked, and the French toast was to die for with its crisp crunchy outside and moist inside.
“I did notice your ass got a little bigger.” He winked.
She held her fork mid-air, her mouth hanging open, narrowing her eyes. “Seriously? You needed to tell me that?”
“Hey, I’m a guy. I notice things like that.”
“Of course you do.”
“Breasts look a little bigger, too.”
She tossed her napkin at him. “That was your one complaint.”
“I never complained about your breasts. I only agreed that they were small. And I think I added the word perky. Perky is good.” He held his fork in the air as if to toast her before he shoved it into his mouth.
His tongue darted out and licked his full lips. It was impossible not to stare. Some people ate like pigs. Made weird noises and talked with a mouth full of food. Not attractive at all. But the way Shane was handling his French toast this morning was quite seductive. Downright sensual. She wanted to pour syrup all over him and… nope. Not going there.
She pushed her plate aside, leaving only a few bites behind. She could feel her stomach press against her slacks. She also found herself looking down at her breasts. Gravity works. Not as perky as they used to be. She hadn’t thought about what she looked like in years. Didn’t care much. She took care of herself because she did care that she looked professional, and exercise had always been a big part of her daily routine, but to impress a man? Not in a long time. It had been going on three years since her last relationship. Now that was depressing.
“You look deep in thought.” Shane waved the waitress over, pointing at his empty coffee mug.
“Thinking about gravity.”
“Trust me, they don’t look like they’re sagging from my vantage point. I’d be glad to cop a feel and let you know.”
She burst out laughing. “Dream on.”
“I guess that means I’m not getting a handful today.”
“This conversation went south really quick,” she said.
“Actually, north, but we can head sou—”
“Just stop,” she said. Though she really wanted to keep the teasing going. This kind of stuff in the past would always lead to some heavy petting. But she wasn’t seventeen anymore, and making out in a cop car wouldn’t be appropriate. Besides, it was just banter between old friends. Nothing more.
“We had a lot of good times,�
� he said, then, “I’d like you to meet my son.”
She swallowed her breath. That was a quick switch in the conversation that she wasn’t prepared for. She’d seen pictures of Kevin. Cute kid. Looked more like his mother than his father, but she could see a lot of Shane in the pictures in his home. “Maybe when I come back.”
“That’s not a no.”
There was not a single valid reason for her to say no. Telling Shane that meeting his son would only remind her of what she’d given up would be hurtful, and not just to Shane. “When I get back.”
“My mom wants to see you, as well.”
“I’m not ready for that,” she said. “I doubt anyone in your family would want to see me again.”
“Not true,” he said
The waitress came over with their bill, thankfully ending that topic.
Shane tossed the tip onto the table, then took her by the hand, leading her to the cash register. “Still don’t take credit cards,” he said. “Can you believe that?”
“I saw an ATM in the back.”
“I’ve had to use it a couple of times,” he said as he paid the bill.
The crisp air hit her face as she stepped through the door, but the sun had a warming effect. Still chilly, but not ice-cold like it was the other day. She reached out to open the car door, but Shane took her arm in his hand and turned her away from the vehicle, pressing her ass against the cold metal. He ran both his hands slowly up and down her arms. Tenderly. Her breath was labored. His right hand slid up her neck, brushing her hair back. They stood there for a long moment, staring at each other. She searched his eyes for the passion she once saw, but she got confusion instead.
“Shane—”
He pressed his finger against her lips. “I’ve wanted to do this since I first saw you at the station. I thought when you walked into that room you’d be a memory. But instead, everything I felt for you came crashing back.” He brushed his thumb across her lips. “I was still angry, and I wanted to know why. But mostly I wanted to kiss you.” He pressed his moist, warm lips against hers, cupping the back of her neck with one hand, the other sliding under her coat, across her side, then holding the small of her back. His thumb caressed in little circles below the spot he knew would make her arch into him.
Unable to pry her mouth from his, she slipped her tongue between his lips and he welcomed the deepened kiss with a groan. Their tongues entangled in a dance they’d done so many times, but there was a newness to it. A reason to keep it slow and controlled.
He slid his hand up the small of her back, hitting the ticklish spot. She arched into him, pressing against his long, muscular body. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders. His hand was now just under her arm, heading toward her breast.
She pulled back. “People are watching.”
He looked around, taking a step back, then opened the door for her. “Guess we’ll have to see if gravity has taken its toll another time.”
She wasn’t sure there should be another time, but figured they’d talk about this when she returned to town, after they’d both had a chance to cool off from a very nice trip into the past.
* * *
Shane finished reading the M.E.’s report on Gregory’s death, which added a new twist to the case. It appeared that Gregory had a kidney transplant in the last year. Why would anyone take an already donated kidney? It made no sense. He shoved the report to the side and focused on the box sitting on his dining room table. He’d pulled it down yesterday and now it taunted him. Daring him to open it and relive his past.
A sharp knock came at the door.
He’d forgotten his brother, Dave, was working on a site nearby and mentioned he might stop by.
“Place looks good,” Dave said as he entered the house. “But you’ve got some trim that needs work on the front windows. I can take care of that in the spring.”
“I’d appreciate it. Beer?” Shane asked.
“I’d love one.” Dave was older than Shane by eight years. The twins, Mike and Anna, were six years older. Shane was the baby, and spent much of his youth as the only child in the house. But both his brothers lived close by, and Anna didn’t move out of Pittsford until shortly after Kevin was born. Despite their age differences, they were all very close.
“Where are the little man and Theresa?”
“Library,” Shane said. “Hate to admit it, but Mom was right. It’s nice having Theresa here. She’s so much like her mother it’s scary.”
“She’s a good egg,” Dave said. “Why do you have a box labeled ‘Kara’ on your table?” Dave wasn’t one to beat around the bush. It was mostly a good trait, but it had gotten him into trouble a time or two.
“Mom gave it to me when they cleared out the attic. When I moved out, I think I left all that stuff behind, hoping she’d toss it.”
“Mom doesn’t throw much away,” Dave said. “And, so you know, for the record and all, that Mom asked me to check up on you.”
“Why? What’s she worried about?”
Dave pointed to the box. “She’s worried about how you’re handling Kara being back, and going through a box of old memories of her, well, it could be therapeutic or it could be something else.”
“I had forgotten about the box until I saw Kara.”
“So, how is that working out? Being around her?” Dave asked.
“Who’s asking? You or Mom?”
“Me,” Dave said. “If it’s good, I’ll report back to Mom. Not so good, I’ll tell her you’re doing fine.”
Shane laughed. “It’s been interesting.” He leaned against the kitchen counter, looking into the dining room, staring at the box. Before she’d returned, things were finally settling into something that resembled normal, but she changed all that. “We work well together, but the case we’re working is a tough one.”
“The congressman’s kid?”
“Yeah. And another recent murder, but not exactly sure how they’re tied together,” Shane said. “And that’s not public knowledge.”
“Nothing you do ever is.” Dave sat down at the breakfast bar. “You like working with Kara?”
“I do,” Shane admitted. “She’s professional. Smart. Really good at her job. Working with her is easy. Maybe too easy.”
“From what I remember of Kara, she was always a hell of a lot smarter than you.”
“She studied. I didn’t.” But his brother was right. Even if Shane had put a good effort in his schoolwork, she’d still be smarter about some things. “We’ve got a good rhythm with work. She and I have partnered up, and Jones has been working with her partner. I thought it would be weird, but it’s like we’ve been working together for years.”
Dave leaned back on the stool, folding his arms across his chest. “Have you and Kara talked? Talked about why she just left you without any real reason?” Dave had always been a good one to work things out with. When Kara had left, he spoke to him about it more than his other siblings. Dave was the least emotional in the family.
Shane nodded. “I can understand why she didn’t want to come back to Rochester. Her parents’ murder…” he paused, scratching the side of his face. “It was so brutal and random. She tried to be brave and strong, but there were nights I’d wake up in my dorm, and she’d be curled in a ball on my desk chair, crying. Nothing I did calmed her down. If I’m being honest I didn’t know how to help her, and while she kept pushing me away I was also stepping back from her.”
“You were young,” Dave said. “It was a lot to handle.”
“Not the point.” Shane could see the mistakes he’d made and, while she’d been the one who decided to leave, he hadn’t done much to stop her. “She came home to see me a few months after she left.”
Dave arched a brow. “You never told me that.”
“I didn’t know until the other day. She saw me with Janet. Figured I had moved on. That had to have hurt her as much as she hurt me.”
“You saw her with another man.”
Shane shook his head. �
��I saw her walking down the same path with some guy. They weren’t talking or touching. I was too scared of being rejected and I chickened out of approaching her. She saw Janet and me holding hands, and thought that it wouldn’t be right of her to try to walk back into my life. That’s very different.”
“How do you feel about that?” Dave asked.
“I don’t know. The time that Kara is describing was the first time I brought Janet home to meet the family, but we were still struggling because my feelings for Kara were so raw, and Janet and I were more off than we were on. After we went back to school, we broke up for a couple of months. I don’t know what would have happened if I had seen Kara then, and thinking about that scenario is one big mind-fuck with all the what-ifs.” Shane slowly sipped his beer. “It’s only been two years since Janet died and, yet, I find myself having such strong feelings for Kara.”
“You loved Janet,” Dave said. Of all his siblings, he was the most in tune with Shane. “And you loved Kara. I imagine this would be difficult for you.”
“I feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty.”
“Janet would want you to move on, and she actually knew and understood what Kara meant to you.”
“That doesn’t make this any easier. I have to think about Kevin as well.”
“You’re a good father. You’re not going to do anything that would hurt Kevin. You need to stop beating yourself up for wanting to live again.”
“But I’m acting like a horny teenager.” Shane got two more beers from the fridge, setting one down next to his brother. “And she’s not really doing anything to shut me down.”
“Doesn’t sound like you want her to.”
Shane could still taste her lips. Feel her body arch into him. Her hands holding his shoulders tight. “I kissed her earlier this week.”
“So?”
“In the parking lot of a restaurant. Serious PDA. I mean a Fed and a cop engaged in a public display of affection of epic proportion.”
“I don’t see the problem,” Dave said. “You’ve talked. You both understand each other. You still have feelings for her. You’re both older and hopefully a lot wiser.”
