A New Life

by Mildred Colvin

  “Thank you, Gran.” He looked up at her with wide eyes and an innocent expression. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

  Of course he would if Gran was the judge. He never did wrong as far as she was concerned. Kimberly secured the loom and stood. She hadn’t accomplished much. Her hand smoothed the rug Gran had started. Since she’d contributed almost a foot more, maybe it’d be done in time for the auction.

  On the way into town, Gran continued the vein of conversation she’d started in the loft room. “Does your grandfather know where you are, Kimberly?”

  Kimberly’s heart constricted. “I hope not.”

  “You don’t want him to know?” Gran frowned across the front seat at her. “Why on earth not? Don’t you think he’s worried about you?”

  A combination snort and huff came from Kimberly’s throat. “Grandfather disowned me when Colin died. According to him, I dishonored his name.” She glanced in her rearview mirror. Jamie sat looking out the window, but he heard every word. She knew he wouldn’t miss anything and he didn’t need to hear about Grandfather, because he loved the stiff, unbending old man. So had she, once. “Maybe we could talk later.”

  Gran nodded. “Of course.”

  Neither spoke for the rest of the short drive to Gran’s house. Inside, Jamie headed toward the curio cabinet and the miniature horses. Gran hurried after him. “Let’s take these horses out and put them on the coffee table where you can reach them.”

  While Gran handed them down to Jamie, Kimberly opened the window to allow the house to air out just as they’d done the first time they’d been there. Jamie soon had a large corral of horses to play with.

  Kimberly turned from the window and watched him arrange them. “Jamie, please be careful with those. Remember they’re breakable.”

  “I will, Momma.” He promised without looking up.

  “He’ll be fine.” Gran turned toward the hall. “Would you help me back here? I want to get the rest of these windows opened, and the pattern books are stored in the spare bedroom.”

  “Of course.” Kimberly followed her down the hall.

  In Gran’s bedroom, they each opened a window. As they headed across the hall to the other room, Gran spoke. “I’m sorry if I’m interfering, but I feel a strong need to talk to you. I can’t push it out of my mind.”

  Kimberly didn’t respond as she hurried into the room ahead of Gran. But she couldn’t outrun the inevitable. Gran followed her. “Kimberly, please look at me.”

  Kimberly froze at the window with her hand on the latch. She turned to face the older woman. Wishing she could forget grandfather. Knowing she couldn’t.

  “I need to know if you are in danger from your grandfather.”

  “Danger? No, of course not. Well, not physical.” She shrugged. “I’m beginning to believe emotional abuse is worse than physical though.”

  “What do you mean by abuse? Did your grandfather abuse you?” Gran frowned.

  “He manipulated me. Made sure I did exactly as he wanted me to.” She lifted her hands in a sign of helplessness and sighed. “He never knew about Travis. That was my summer of rebellion, I guess, except I could only go so far before I caved in to his demands. I married Colin. I played the part of a happily married woman in front of him even when our marriage deteriorated. I covered for Colin’s excesses and his affairs. I took his blame more than once.”

  She clasped her hands in front of her and lifted her face toward the ceiling with her eyes closed while she tried to bring her emotions under control. Finally, she looked at Gran with a mocking smile. “In fact, I must have been very good at what I did, because Grandfather believed Colin rather than me.”

  Gran leaned against a dresser with her gaze on Kimberly.

  “Colin blamed me for our financial difficulties. He squandered every penny he made. I had an inheritance from my father. After Colin’s death, I found that he had cleaned it out over the years we were married, and I don’t even know how he gained access to it. We lived rent-free in a house his parents bought for him as a wedding gift. They paid our utility bills more than once. He told them and my grandfather that I couldn’t be trusted with money. Grandfather accused me of blowing my inheritance and everything Colin could earn.”

  She took a deep breath and brushed at the moisture gathering in her eyes. “I didn’t mind that so much, but when I learned he supported Colin’s attempt to send Jamie away to school, I walked out of his house and haven’t been back.”

  She dropped her voice to a whisper. “I’ll never be ashamed of Jamie.”

  “Of course not.” Gran shook her head. “God doesn’t make mistakes. Jamie’s a wonderful child.”

  “Yes, he is.” Kimberly spoke in a soft voice. “Travis and I did wrong. I know that. But while Jamie may be the result of our mistake, he isn’t the mistake.”

  Gran’s lips pursed as if she were in deep thought. She looked up. “Do you believe your grandfather loves you?”

  “I used to think so.”

  “What about Jamie? Did he love him?”

  “Yes, when he thought he was Colin’s.” Kimberly smiled as an image of Grandfather and Jamie entered her mind. She’d never seen her tall, stiff-backed grandfather play until three-year-old Jamie wanted a horsey-back ride. She drew in a breath. “Oh my, Jamie has loved horses all his life. Grandfather used to give him horsey-back rides when he was little.”

  Gran smiled. “Do you think love like that goes away, Kimberly? Toward your great-grandchild? Or toward your only granddaughter? Your grandfather obviously made some mistakes in trying to do the best for you. He may have been a master manipulator, but it sounds to me as if he was manipulated himself by Colin. You knew you were being controlled. He didn’t know. At the very least, don’t you believe he deserves to know you and Jamie are all right?”

  Gran’s words slammed against the wall Kimberly had built around her heart. Chinks began to loosen and fall away. Another memory came to mind. Of Grandfather at her sixteenth birthday party Grandmother had given her with all her friends. He’d worn a party hat and manned the CD player while she and her friends danced. At the time she thought he’d wanted to chaperone their party to keep an eye on her. Now she wondered if he really only wanted to be involved in her life.

  “I don’t know.” Tears filled her eyes. “I just don’t know.”

  “Well,” Gran straightened from the dresser. “I’m going to dig out those knitting patterns. Why don’t you go ahead and open these windows? I’ve got a phone in the living room you can use to call your grandfather. Leave a message if he isn’t home. Just tell him you’re okay. You don’t have to tell him where you are.”

  She pulled a drawer out. “I think those books are in one of these drawers.”

  Kimberly turned to the window and blotted her eyes against the upper arm of her blouse. She raised both windows as Gran found the books. “Here they are. I’ll take them back to the ranch, and we’ll look through them tonight. Jamie should pick out his own sweater. I want to make a couple for the auction, too.”

  Kimberly didn’t understand what prompted her, other than it was the right thing to do, but as she followed Gran from the room, she made her decision. “Gran, may I use your phone?”

  Gran stopped and swung around so fast, Kimberly almost ran into her. “You certainly may. Just follow me.”

  In the living room, Jamie was still deeply engrossed in the miniature horse collection. He barely glanced up at them. Gran headed straight for the phone. No time like the present. Kimberly took a deep breath to steady her nerves before she took the receiver from Gran and punched in the number she knew from memory. Grandfather should be in his office at this time of day. She’d leave a message on his answering machine at home. She had no reason to be nervous.

  The phone rang twice and her hand shook. Only two more rings and she’d simply say she and Jamie were well. She was working and they had a nice place to stay. That’s all there was to it. Nothing to get excited about.

  “Hello,
Robert Johnson speaking.” Her heart slammed against her ribs. She held the phone away from her ear.

  “Hello. Is anyone there?” His voice sounded loud and demanding.

  “Momma, did you call Grandfather?” Jamie stood next to her, tugging at her arm. “Can I talk to him?”

  Kimberly’s heartbeat pounded in her ears. She slammed the phone back into its base and ran from the room. Tears blurred her eyes until she scarcely saw the doorway and found herself in the kitchen. She collapsed in a chair and buried her face in her arms on the table while tears of hurt and fear flowed.

  A light touch and Jamie’s little arm surrounding her shoulders told her he had come in to comfort her. “I’m sorry, Mommy. Did I do bad? I thought I heard Grandfather on the phone. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “Of course you didn’t do anything wrong.” Kimberly hugged Jamie. “I’m fine. Really.”

  In the other room the phone rang, and Kimberly cringed. She’d forgotten to block Gran’s phone number. She strained to hear Gran’s voice.

  “Hello?” After a pause she said, “Yes, it was. This isn’t a good time for her to talk. She wanted to let you know she and Jamie are all right. That’s really all I can tell you at this time.”

  Another pause and then Gran’s voice. “Yes, just a minute.”

  There was silence, and Kim wondered if Gran had hung up. She lifted her head and wiped her eyes. As she stood, Gran spoke again. “Yes, I’ve got it. Yes, that will be fine. Later, then.”

  Kimberly hurried back to the living room with Jamie close behind her. Gran turned from the phone with a concerned look on her face. “Are you all right, dear?”

  “I’m fine. That was him, wasn’t it?” Kimberly shook her head. “I’m sorry, Gran. I forgot to block your number. I didn’t mean for him to call you.”

  “That’s fine, dear. It’s not a problem. I told him now wasn’t a good time for you to talk, but maybe later you would be willing to. He seemed to accept that, and I do believe he was very relieved to hear that you’re not in the hospital or worse. He said he’d been worried when you apparently disappeared from the face of the earth. So, as my mother always said, ‘All’s well that ends well.’”

  Yes, if that was the end. Knowing her grandfather, Kimberly doubted that it was.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Monday morning in early June, Kimberly decided to wash the curtains in Travis’s kitchen and clean the windows. Warm sunshine drew her outside, so as soon as she started the wash she found some window spray and cloths then went out to find Gran and Jamie. A couple of sharp barks told her where to look.

  She rounded the corner of the house and stopped with her hands on her hips. “Jamie, what are you doing to that dog?”

  “Nothing.” Jamie turned and called to her. “She won’t let me go to the pond.”

  Gran sat watching from a lawn chair in the shade. “I’m glad Travis left the dog home today. Sure makes my job easier.” She laughed. “Trixie thinks Jamie will fall in the water if he gets any closer, and I’m not telling her any different.”

  “Good for you and Trixie.” Kimberly joined Gran. “Jamie, come on back and play. Travis didn’t leave his dog here for you to torment.”

  Jamie turned and ran toward his mom and Gran. “I’m sorry, Momma. I don’t really want to play in the water. I just wanted to see if I could run past her.”

  “Maybe you should tell her you’re sorry then.” Kimberly hugged her son who promptly pulled away.

  He knelt and hugged the dog instead. “I’m sorry, Trixie. I promise I’ll be good now. Come on, let’s go play.”

  As they ran off, Kimberly looked at the large pond she’d seen from the upstairs window. Shattered sunlight sparkled on its surface. The gazebo stood in glistening white glory over the tiny island. Climbing red roses bloomed on either side of the open doorway leading inside. Multi-colored Iris’s decorated both sides of the small dock extending the path that led to the gazebo. Wild violets and four o’clocks, as well as other flowers, dotted the island.

  “That is so beautiful.” Kimberly spoke in little more than a whisper.

  “You’ll have to get Travis to take you out to look it over sometime.” Gran smiled up at Kimberly. “It’s a wonderful getaway. There’s only one pedal boat so no one can get to you without swimming over.”

  “Oh, no.” Kimberly drew back at the thought. “I don’t imagine he’d want to do that.”

  “And why not?” Gran demanded.

  “Because . . . I mean I assumed he built it for . . .”

  Gran laughed. “For Rosalyn?”

  “Yes.” Kimberly frowned. She didn’t like talking about Travis’s wife, and she sure didn’t want to think of him building such a beautiful place for her. It stood as a memorial to her life and their love. She looked away, not wanting to see and be reminded of what she’d given up. Yet everywhere she looked, she saw evidence of Travis and the ranch he loved. The ranch she could have shared with him. The house, the yard, even the distant pasture bore evidence of what she’d rejected but wanted so much now. Had wanted even then.

  “Travis didn’t build the gazebo. He didn’t plant the flowers or build the docks. He didn’t buy the pedal boat either.” Gran’s voice penetrated Kimberly’s self-pity and jealousy. “If he can’t get one of the men to do it, he does occasionally take a weed-trimmer and cut the grass, but that’s about the extent of his involvement.”

  “Then who . . .” Kimberly let her voice trail off when Gran laughed.

  “My husband was a romantic at heart, although he’d never admit it.”

  The truth seemed so simple now. Gran’s husband had built the loft room for her crafts. Why wouldn’t he build a beautiful getaway, too? A getaway just for Gran? Or the two of them together? Kimberly watched the laugher in Gran’s eyes soften into the sweetness of memory. She turned to gaze out at Gran’s special place made for her by the man she’d loved.

  Gran turned back and smiled at Kimberly. “I’m serious when I say you should have him take you out there, Kimberly. Maybe that would be a good place to tell him all that’s in your heart.”

  Gran’s words struck Kimberly as the reprimand they were. She watched Jamie play with Trixie. Travis said he left the dog today because they wouldn’t need her. He asked Jamie at breakfast if he’d mind watching Trixie. Jamie, of course, had jumped at the opportunity. Whether he did so because he wanted to play with the dog, or because he felt needed and wanted to impress Travis, Kimberly didn’t know. Maybe a little of both. But Travis’s unselfish action made Kimberly feel every bit of the guilt she’d earned by keeping her secret so long. And now Gran reminded her again.

  “I know, and I will. I promise I will. As soon as I can find the words and push them past whatever it is that keeps stopping me.” That was a poor excuse and she knew it. She went on before Gran told her so. “We’ve only been here a little over a month.”

  “How much longer do you think it will be before he recognizes his son? What will you do then?” Gran asked.

  “I don’t know.” Kimberly turned away, trying to change the subject. “I came out here to see if you knew where a ladder is. I’m going to wash the kitchen windows since it’s so pretty today, but I can’t reach the top panes.”

  “There’s a shed attached to the barn on this side. You’ll find all sorts of lawn tools in it.” Gran pointed in the general direction. “I used to have a garden out there, but I haven’t done much with it since I moved to town.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Kimberly watched Jamie try to convince Trixie to race him across the wide lawn. Each time they ran, Trixie stayed by his side so neither won. On the last race when Jamie fell to the ground, he wrestled with his canine friend, giggling until Kimberly laughed with him. “I’d tell Jamie I’m leaving now, but I don’t think he’d notice.”

  Gran chuckled. “Probably not. Be careful on the ladder.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” Kimberly walked away. Gran’s words still echoed in her mind. What w
ill you do when Travis recognizes his son?

  What would she do indeed? She had no idea.

  ~*~

  Travis saw Kim on the porch as he headed toward the house. Looked like she was washing windows. He’d never given her a list of jobs to do beyond providing three meals a day for Gran. She went far beyond that by keeping the men supplied with sandwiches when they couldn’t come to the house to eat. As for housekeeping, he hadn’t seen the house so clean since Gran lived here. Rosalyn had fought depression until she couldn’t function enough to care for either the house or her son.

  He bounded up the steps to the porch and Kim swung around, teetering on the first rung of the ladder. “Oh, you startled me.”

  “What do you think you’re doing?” He plucked her off the ladder and set her in front of him. “Trying to break your neck?”

  She laughed. Her bright blue eyes sparkled, and her cheeks glowed a pink rose from fresh air and health. A more beautiful woman didn’t exist. Her lips still curved upward. “If I fell it’d be your fault.”

  He stepped back to keep from moving closer. “Why? I didn’t tell you to get on the ladder. In fact, you still haven’t answered me. I asked what you’re doing climbing on a ladder?”

  Her eyes widened. “You mean you can’t tell?”

  Not when Kim filled his vision. He tore his gaze from her and saw the filthy cloth in her hand. A bottle of some sort of spray sat on the ladder. The window looked clean. “I don’t think these windows have been washed since Gran lived here.”

  “You don’t say?” Kim smirked. “Maybe that’s why I’m on my third cloth already, and this is only my second window. I’m thinking I need a squeegee.”

  “Good idea. Then you won’t need a ladder. There used to be a squeegee in the utility room. Hanging on the wall, I think.” Travis took the cloth from her and put it on the ladder. “Where’s Gran? I’ve got something to discuss with you two.”

  “She’s around front with Jamie. What’s wrong?” Kim turned and left the deck.

  He fell into step with her as they rounded the house. “There’s nothing wrong. I just need to spend tonight away from the house, and I want you and Jamie to stay with Gran. Will you do that for me, Kim?”