Climbing a set of stairs, he stopped at a tufted bench in an alcove on the third floor. The administration had made little seating areas here and there for students to rest. This one abutted a giant floor-to-ceiling window that showcased the rolling hills, but right then, all Grey could see was inky blackness. He looked at his reflection in the glass, his nostrils flared, his jaw hard, eyes wild like a horse that had been spooked. Pushing a hand through his hair, he jumped up and took off again. He needed to calm himself, and he knew where to go to do it.
Jaya
Jaya was lost. The bathroom by the rooftop had a line, so she’d wandered deeper into the building, trying to find a more deserted one. Now she found herself by a large spiral staircase, and not yet ready to go back to the rooftop, she began descending it. Her brain kept turning over the way Grey had disappeared; something was going on with him. This secret he was keeping… What was it? And why did it seem to cause him so much pain?
On the heels of those questions came another thought: How could she break the heart of someone who was already in so much pain? Jaya felt an immediate rush of guilt at the thought. How could she even think of abandoning the plan? What mattered wasn’t Grey or his pain, but her sister and her family. She was a Rao. The Emersons were not her problem. But then… why did she feel so unsettled? Why were her instincts telling her to pause, to take stock?
Conflicted, Jaya followed the main corridor of the third floor. It turned left and then right and left again. Lovely. She’d have to find a directory map and work out where she was if she wanted to get back to the mixer.
Jaya was just considering turning around when something caught her eye. Up ahead in a small alcove, a tall figure sat on a bench. It was difficult to see who it was from there, but Jaya walked forward quickly along the carpet—and stopped short.
CHAPTER 9
Jaya
“Daphne Elizabeth?”
Daphne Elizabeth spun around, her green eyes wide. She was wearing a beautiful vintage-style dress that was aggressively ripped up (on purpose?), and her fists were bunched around the tulle of the skirt. “Oh.” She put a hand on her chest. “H-hey. Hey, Jaya. I thought you were…” She shook her head. “Never mind. What are you doing up here?”
“I was looking for a bathroom.” Jaya smiled. “What about you?”
“Hey, I saw you dancing with Grey,” Daphne Elizabeth said, but her cheeks were now a bright pink and she wouldn’t meet Jaya’s eye. “That’s a first for him.”
Jaya didn’t remark on the obvious avoidance of her question because she was quite pleased with the direction the topic change had taken them. “I asked him, and he agreed. Although, I couldn’t help but wonder if he—if there’s something bothering him. He seemed… disconcerted. And then he left.”
Daphne Elizabeth shook her head. “Yeah, I love Grey, but man, he’s the tortured soul of our group.”
Jaya sat on the bench next to Daphne Elizabeth. “And why is that? He said he doesn’t date, but he made it sound like—like he can’t date, perhaps.”
“You’re telling me,” Daphne Elizabeth said. “We’ve all tried to get him to open up about that, but he won’t. It’s like he’s punishing himself for no reason.” She paused. “Or no reason that he trusts us enough to share with us, anyway.” Her gaze suddenly shifted to something behind Jaya’s back. She swung her feet around and sat up straight. “Um… I’ve got to go now.”
Jaya turned around just as someone stepped around the corner, out of sight. Someone with shiny black shoes, a very nicely cut black suit, and blond hair. She turned back to Daphne Elizabeth. “Alaric?”
Daphne Elizabeth put one finger to her lips. Her candy apple–red lip gloss shimmered under the recessed lighting overhead. “Don’t judge me.” She said the words lightly, but Jaya sensed a weightiness just under the surface.
“No judgment,” she said honestly.
“I have thought about what you said to me the other day in my room, you know, why I feel the need to be with Alaric?” Daphne Elizabeth said, playing with the tattered hem of her dress. “I can’t stop thinking about it, in fact.”
“And?” Jaya prompted her gently, sensing there was an “and” floating between them.
“And… I still don’t know why. Every time I think about how we’re doing this to Caterina, how I’m complicit in something so mean and heartless, I feel sick to my stomach. But then there’s this other part of me, and that DE? That DE really wants the attention Alaric throws her way, everyone else be damned.” She bit her lip. “I’m afraid the other DE is getting louder. Sometimes I think I should just break it off with him. But then I think about being alone again, having Alaric look through me, being totally invisible to him just like when I go home…” She shivered a little. “I can’t keep away from him, Jaya.” She hung her head. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Absolutely nothing. But, Daphne Elizabeth?”
Daphne Elizabeth looked at her. “Yeah?”
“Being thoroughly invisible to Alaric doesn’t mean you’d be invisible to me. I’ll be here to hang out with you or talk or go shopping. If you want to, I mean.” Jaya shrugged, feeling a little awkward.
Smiling faintly, Daphne Elizabeth stood and squeezed Jaya’s shoulder. “Thanks. That really means a lot.”
Jaya watched Daphne Elizabeth disappear around the corner after Alaric, her mind drifting to Grey.
She sat back, lost in thought. Grey wouldn’t—couldn’t?—date anyone. He wasn’t planning on managing the Westborough estate and he didn’t speak with his family. But why? What linked all of those things together?
Grey
His feet carried him to the far west corner of the West Wing as if they had a will of their own. He needed the tower, his tower. Grey unlocked the heavy door in the dark corner, and shutting it behind him, he stood in the near complete darkness and closed his eyes. The blood rushed in his ears, roaring like an indignant ocean. Unfair. He tried not to let himself go down the self-pity path too often, but sometimes the sheer unjustness of the entire situation hit him between the eyes.
He was seventeen (almost eighteen, but that was a problem for another day—maybe a day too soon). He’d danced with a girl who wanted to dance with him. Why was that such a crime? Why did it have to be so… so fraught? Why couldn’t he, like all the other guys there, just decide to dance without being weighed down by all the other shit?
The room was lightless and silent, as familiar to Grey as his own name. Chest heaving, he put one foot on the step he knew was right in front of him and wound his way up, into the tower in the sky.
* * *
Grey stood suspended above the world, looking out through the big, curving windows. The tower was dank and always cold, no matter the time of year. He was sure more than a few bats and other undesirables made their home up there in the soaring ceiling rafters and musty corners, which should instinctively make him want to stay away. But Grey knew he belonged.
He slid his phone out of his pocket and dialed. The reception through the heavy stone walls of the tower was unreliable, but it would have to do.
“Grey?” His father’s voice crackled down the line, sounding like he was in another dimension, rather than on another continent.
“Hello, Father.” They were both silent, their awkwardness with each other a dance they did every time they spoke, which, thankfully, wasn’t often at all.
“Well, what is it?” The words were terse, as if Grey were an underling who’d called to break bad news of a financial investment. “What’s happened?”
“Nothing’s happened. But I—I need to know something.”
“All right.” Cautious now. Could he hear the urgency in Grey’s voice?
“The ruby you told me about, the one that was cursed by the Rao matriarch.”
“Yes?” The first half of the word cut out, so it sounded like his father had hissed down the line.
“How would one know if they found it? The
cursed ruby?”
More crackling. “Why do you want to know?”
“Could you just answer the question?” He pushed an impatient hand through his hair as he paced.
“Well, we know it was broken up and put into a rose-shaped pendant. The curse talks about the rose ‘dimming,’ so I suppose it would involve the undoing of the rose in some manner. I imagine that would mean the metal tarnishing beyond repair or a clasp or chain that keeps breaking or—”
“Or the rubies falling out,” Grey said quietly.
“Yes, or that. Why do you ask?”
“I was just curious. That’s all.” Grey didn’t share anything of himself with his father, and this was no different.
The sudden hiss of static made Grey wince. He held the phone away from his ear for a moment. When it fell silent again, he brought it back. “Father? Are you there?”
But there was no response. No signal. Grey pressed the “end” button and stood staring out the windows at the blackest night beyond.
Jaya
The mixer had progressed to a much louder state of debauchery by the time Jaya found a bathroom and a directory and made her way back. She’d been hoping to find Grey had returned, but looking around, she knew he’d never subject himself to this. People were dancing in more alarming gyrations than ever, and a few couples had drifted off to corners to, erm, be intimate. Jaya could tell from the swells and bursts of laughter and screeching that someone, somewhere, had sneaked in alcohol. The teachers were noticeably absent, as if they’d given up trying to rein all this in. Thankfully, Isha was still dancing with her friends and seemed to be fully in control of her senses (except for her sense of propriety, but Jaya didn’t think she could blame that on alcohol).
Jaya had barely stepped back onto the rooftop when she felt a thin, cold hand on her upper arm.
“Have you seen Alaric?”
She turned to see Caterina LaValle, her dark brown eyes glittering under false eyelashes. Caterina wore a red, one-shouldered cocktail dress with a sprinkling of diamonds along the hem and six-inch-tall gold-and-red ombre Jimmy Choos. As usual, she looked like she’d stepped off the pages of Vogue. Her breath had the telltale metallic scent of strong alcohol, though, and she held a cup full of pink liquid, her bright red nails resting against the glass.
A male voice cut in before Jaya could answer. “H-hey, Caterina.” They turned to see Rahul, his eyes fixed on Caterina, his flat, greasy hair falling onto his forehead. “And Jaya.”
Caterina’s eyes rested only briefly on Rahul. “Hello.” Turning back to Jaya, she said, “As I was saying—”
“I—I like your, the red. It’s very witchy.” Rahul pushed his glasses up. Jaya noticed the tips of his ears had gone red.
Caterina turned back to him, raising an imperious eyebrow. “Witchy?”
“In a good way,” Rahul rushed to add. His ears were practically flaming now. Neither Jaya nor Caterina said anything for a long moment. Jaya couldn’t think of what to say. No amount of royal training had prepared her for this.
“E-everyone loves Halloween,” Rahul blurted into the quiet.
Leo materialized from nowhere. “Do you want to go get a drink, my friend?” he said quickly, putting an arm around Rahul’s shoulders.
“No, not really,” Rahul said, but Leo practically dragged him away.
Jaya itched her eyebrow. What on earth was all that? Finally, turning back to Caterina, she shook her head and said, “You were saying?”
“Alaric.” Caterina blinked and looked around. “I don’t see him.”
Jaya tugged at an earlobe, making her chandelier earrings dance. “Ah… he’s… perhaps he’s in the bathroom? Or getting some fresh air outside the building?” The memory of Daphne Elizabeth rushing off to follow someone with very shiny black shoes flashed through her brain. She hoped her expression wouldn’t give her away. Daphne Elizabeth had become a friend of sorts. She couldn’t tell Caterina the truth, not without it feeling like a betrayal.
Caterina pursed her hot pink lips. “We’re on a rooftop. And he’s been gone a half hour.”
“Right.” Jaya swept her gaze around the rooftop. Where were Caterina’s friends, anyhow? Shouldn’t she be talking to them? A clot of people moved out of the way, and Jaya caught sight of three girls, Heather, Imogen, and Rebecca, all seniors, all Caterina’s friends, laughing in a group of people on the other side of the rooftop. Jaya got the feeling Caterina had purposely left them behind to come talk to her. She turned back to Caterina. “I really can’t help, I’m afraid. So, how is your semester going so far?”
“Okay,” Caterina said after a pause. Then, straightening, “Marvelously, as a matter of fact. I’m throwing a charity gala on a yacht the end of November. You’ll get an invitation.” She took a sip of her drink.
“Oh, are you?” Jaya said, relieved they’d moved on from Alaric. “How lovely!”
Caterina waved a well-manicured hand, careful not to spill her drink. “Well, it’s what we do, isn’t it? Galas and balls and event upon event for charity. Noblesse oblige and all that.”
Jaya smiled. “What charity are you raising money for?” Amma loved fundraising for charity. She’d probably be interested when Jaya told her about the mixer later (a very sanitized version that wouldn’t involve Grey Emerson at all, naturally).
“One World,” Caterina said. “The gala’s going to be spectacular. I’ll have a party planner and two different caterers—oh, and a bartender, of course. Alcohol loosens the purse strings.” She smiled a little.
Jaya nodded as one thumping song merged into the next. After a pause, she asked, “What does One World do?”
Caterina’s eyes focused on her with an intensity. “Sorry?”
“The charity,” Jaya said, wondering just how much Caterina had had to drink. “One World? Who do they serve?”
“Children around the world who live in poverty,” Caterina said, her chin thrust out. The lights on the pillar behind Jaya reflected in her eyes like amber jewels. “And before you say anything else, let me tell you that 385 million children live in extreme poverty. It’s a really pressing problem, one from which we’re lucky to be isolated.”
Jaya wondered if she’d missed something. “Right,” she said finally. “I think that’s wonderful, actually. My mother loves charitable giving,” she added, unsure of why Caterina seemed so oddly protective of her charity. “I’ll ask her if she’s heard of them.”
“Mm. Good. Yes, do that.” Seemingly satisfied, Caterina took a deep drink. She blinked hard, as if she were now seeing through a haze of alcohol. She swayed the tiniest bit on her feet. “Jaya,” she said. “Why do we love?”
Jaya struggled to adjust to the change of topic. “Perhaps to feel less alone?” she ventured.
Caterina appeared to consider that. “Yes. Yes, maybe you’re right.” She paused, thinking. “I love Alaric.”
Jaya nodded, uncertain. Next to them, a group of freshmen burst into peals of laughter and moved away onto the dance floor. “I’m sure you do.”
“But sometimes I wonder if there’s someone else for Alaric,” Caterina said, like Jaya hadn’t spoken. She blinked, her eyes bleary and red-rimmed from drink. “When I talk about the things I’m interested in, I see the way his eyes glaze over. Sometimes he doesn’t answer when I ask him a question. And do you know what he said when I asked him if he thought he could get a cummerbund to match my green Valentino dress for the winter formal?”
“No. What?” Out of the corner of her eye, Jaya noticed that Caterina’s friends were looking at them. But none of them made a motion to walk over.
“He said, ‘Who fucking cares about the winter formal, Caterina? Who knows what we’ll be doing by then.’ ” When Jaya didn’t respond immediately, Caterina pressed on. “Why do you think he said that?”
Jaya wondered briefly how she managed to get herself into these situations. It was a talent, really. Suddenly she wished she could have a sip of whatever Caterina was drinking. “Ah�
� perhaps because he’s not a planner?”
“No,” Caterina said, shaking her head. She gestured with her drink, and a drop landed on Jaya’s arm. She discreetly brushed it away. “No. He wants to break up with me, Jaya. I’m sure of it.”
“I’m sorry,” Jaya said, unsure of what else to say.
But Caterina appeared not to hear her. “Do you know anything?”
Jaya frowned. Why did Caterina always appear to speak in riddles? “Know anything?”
Caterina grabbed her upper arm again, with her free hand. “About Alaric,” she said, dipping her head so her face was close to Jaya’s now. “And… Daphne Elizabeth.”
Jaya’s heart pounded. She waited, not willing to say anything just yet. Someone on the rooftop whooped.
“I don’t like asking for favors,” Caterina said, the edges of her words blending into one another. “I don’t like to rely on anyone else. But there’s no one else I can ask.” Her eyes drifted over to her friends at the other side of the rooftop and then back to Jaya. “But you’re new here, Jaya. You’re in Daphne Elizabeth’s group, but you’re not best friends with her, are you? You haven’t been here long enough for that. So you could help me. Tell me what you know.”
“Caterina…,” Jaya began, unsure of what, exactly, she was going to say. She had a feeling she was seeing Caterina in a very rare state of disarray. She had to play her cards just right so she didn’t embarrass her. “I…”
“I can’t sleep,” Caterina said quietly, her face open and lost in a way Jaya had never seen it. “I can barely eat. Please. You have to be honest with me.”
Of Curses and Kisses Page 13