Caterina turned back to Daphne Elizabeth, not smiling at all anymore, her steely expression made even scarier because she was still wearing her bloodred carnival half-mask, unlike Alaric or Daph. “What do you want?”
“I w-want all the lying to be over,” Daph said, her voice trembling. Jaya could tell she was making a monumental effort to not slur her words. Or maybe the fear of Caterina’s wrath was enough to sober her up. She turned to Alaric. “Enough’s enough.” To Caterina, she said, “You never responded to my—my text. It’s been a long time now, Caterina, and I really think we need to talk this out.”
Caterina’s face was frozen behind her half-mask. “What text?”
Daph looked from her to Alaric and back again. “The… the text I sent you. About Alaric and me? Alaric said you didn’t want—”
Alaric laughed, loud and braying. “I must’ve given you the wrong number, Daphne Elizabeth. Silly mistake. I’m sure we can pick this conversation up tomorrow.”
Daph appeared completely confounded. “You… you gave me the wrong number?”
“What text?” Caterina said again, with much more menace in her voice this time.
Daph met her eyes and straightened her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Caterina,” she said. “But Alaric and I began seeing each other over the summer. It… it kind of just happened and I’m not proud of it. I tried telling you over a text; Alaric gave me your number.”
Caterina turned slowly to Alaric. Jaya could almost hear tendons creaking. In a strange, wooden voice, she said, “You were going to let Daphne Elizabeth text this to me? And you weren’t going to say anything?”
“No,” Alaric said, putting his hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off savagely. “Of course not. I was going to tell you; it was my idea, but Daphne Elizabeth was scared.”
Daph gasped. “What? Alaric!”
He regarded her blankly.
After a long, crackling pause, Daph laughed. “Oh… my… God. I’m such a fool. You really are a gobshite.”
“A what?” Alaric said, drawing himself up to his full height.
Daph ignored him and turned to Caterina. “I’m so sorry,” she said sincerely—or as sincerely as she could say that while also being plastered. “I—I consider myself a very honest person. But this…” She ran a hand through her short red hair, leaving it mussed. “I lost my mind. It had nothing to do with you, Caterina, and everything to do with me.” Giving Alaric a disgusted look, she added, “And a bit to do with your boyfriend.” Turning fully to him, she said, “I don’t know what kind of spell you put on me, but it’s over.”
Alaric smiled arrogantly. “How can it be over when it was never begun?” He obviously thought he was being very clever.
Shaking her head, Daphne Elizabeth looked at Jaya. “Thanks,” she said quietly. “For bringing me to my senses.” And then she pushed through the crowd of people and clip-clopped her way downstairs.
Caterina’s eyes were unreadable behind her half-mask, but her lips curved up in a little smile.
How mature, Jaya thought. She’s going to walk out of here, still smiling.
Suddenly there was an enormous, earsplitting shriek. It took Jaya a moment to realize it was emanating from Caterina. She launched herself at Alaric, her fingers hooked into claws. People gasped and turned to watch as she began clawing at his face, his neck, his arms—really anything she could get her hands on—all the while screaming and calling him names. She was fury personified. Alaric was having no trouble holding her off, but she kept going at him anyway, her face splotchy with impotent rage.
“Well, don’t just stand there!” Jaya said in her most imperious/commanding tone to a group of young men standing next to her. “Help me peel her off him!”
Her voice spurred them to action, and with their assistance, she was able to pull Caterina off Alaric. “Let him go,” Jaya kept saying to Caterina, hoping she would eventually get through the rage fog. “He’s not worth it. He’s not worth it, Caterina.”
Finally, realizing she was no match for two big guys and Jaya, Caterina slumped forward, her hair in disarray, her carnival mask askew. She ripped it off in disgust, and panting, said to Alaric, “You’re the vilest specimen of the human race. I hope you know you’ve done this at the cost of every friend you have. I will destroy you.”
Alaric regarded her with such cold indifference, even Jaya felt the chill. “You greatly exaggerate your sphere of influence and how loyal people are to you, Caterina.” Then he, like Daph, turned and walked off, his head held high and gelled hair stiff and unyielding.
Caterina turned to address the crowd. “Please,” she said, in her most dignified voice, which was impressively dignified, considering her hair was sticking up in about sixty-seven different directions and her face was still red. “Continue to bid on the items. It’s for a very good cause. The fireworks will begin in a few moments.”
She glanced at Jaya; there was a flicker of pain on Caterina’s face that was gone as quickly as it had arrived. Then she strode off through the silent crowd, her head held high.
After a moment’s hesitation, Jaya took off after Caterina and caught up with her on the stairs.
“Wait!” she said. “Caterina. Are you okay?”
The fireworks show began, but Jaya barely registered the colors or the gasps of awe from the crowd.
Caterina spun around, virtually snarling. “What do you think?” she spat over the popping and booming. “I was just humiliated in a room full of my father’s business acquaintances and my friends! And you know what the worst part is? You could’ve stopped it and you didn’t, Jaya. I really thought, when we first met, that perhaps one day you’d prove yourself to be a worthy friend.” Her eyes were pink at the corners. “But I was wrong. And sometimes I get really fucking tired of being disappointed.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jaya said. Two couples from upstairs tried to make their way down, but when they saw Caterina, they quickly turned back around and scurried up the stairs. “But maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Alaric really didn’t deserve you.”
“Don’t act like you’re my friend. Don’t act like you care.” Caterina narrowed her eyes. “You’re just as bad as them. Maybe even worse. The well-groomed, polite, likable princess who loves her sister and her family. You fooled them all, didn’t you? You’re a hypocrite and a liar.” Caterina ripped off her feathered headband and threw it on the ground. It was like she was divesting herself of this party, of this evening, one item at a time.
Jaya felt a small ripple of fear move through her. Was Caterina talking about whatever she’d learned from talking to Kiran? Or was she just talking about how Jaya had kept the whole Daph/Alaric thing from her?
“Caterina…,” Jaya said, reaching a hand out, unsure of what, exactly, to say.
Caterina held up a hand. “I don’t need your charity. It’s clear where your allegiances lie.” Scoffing, she added, “Enjoy the fucking fireworks.” Then she turned, pushing her way through the crowd, and melted away.
Jaya looked at Caterina’s feathered headband lying abandoned on the metal stairs, the feather limp and sad. She felt guilt like a knife twisting in her chest. Somehow, in the weeks prior, it had become easy to justify her lie of omission to Caterina, just like she’d justified so many others. But Jaya had never meant for Caterina to get hurt. She’d never wanted that.
She looked out over the sea of people, down to the deck where she and Grey had been talking. The space that had held him was now empty. Maybe she just had a talent for inflicting pain.
CHAPTER 16
Grey
“Push X! No, not Y! Push X—X!” Rahul yelled.
They were lounging in one of the entertainment rooms at St. R’s a couple days later. Leo and Rahul had invited him, like they still did occasionally, and then had looked shocked when he’d accepted their invitation. Leo had quickly covered up his shock with mindless prattle, which had prompted Rahul to call him on his behavior, which had made the whole thing awkward. Grey
considered just going back to his room at that point, but now he was glad he hadn’t. This was… kind of fun.
The “game over” sound warbled, and Leo threw his controller on the oversize couch. “Merde!” he said, gesturing at the 110-inch 4K TV screen. “Why am I so horrible at these video games? How is this physically possible? I am a smart man, but video games—they make no sense to me.” His shoulders slumped. “I have been on a losing streak lately. I am also not making the slightest bit of progress with le magnifique Samantha Wickers.”
“You need to make progress quickly, before the factories run out of rhubarb jam,” Rahul deadpanned.
Leo glared at him. “I am serious! I do not know what I am doing wrong.”
Grey gave him a sympathetic half smile. “You’re not doing anything wrong. I mean, jam’s an unconventional strategy, but it’s not wrong. Just keep being you. Show her you care. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want.”
Leo was silent, and Grey glanced at him again to find him staring. “What?” he asked, unsettled. Had he said something socially unacceptable somehow?
“Rien, nothing,” Leo said, shaking his head and settling against a leather throw pillow. “You are different now. You have been for some time.”
Grey frowned at him. “What do you mean, ‘different’?”
Leo shrugged. “You were shut down before. Then you and Jaya began to hang out and you changed. You are more…” He pursed his lips, apparently not able to find the right word.
“Open,” Rahul said on Grey’s other side.
Grey regarded the two of them. “Open,” he mused. They were right. Jaya had unearthed so much of him.
Raised voices in the hallway had them pausing in their conversation. Caterina and Alaric walked in, their faces red, their voices heated. They stopped short when they saw Leo, Rahul, and Grey. Then Alaric strode to the back of the room, where the air hockey and ping-pong tables were, and Caterina followed him. A moment later, they were arguing again, their voices too low for Grey to make out what they were saying. If he had to guess, it had to do with the bombshell DE had dropped on the yacht.
“Anyway, yes,” Leo said, turning back to Grey. He raised his hands, palms upward. “You are playing a game with us rather than just saying no and going to your room. You are inside rather than outside, watching.” He paused. “What has changed? Are you and Jaya speaking again?”
“No,” Grey said, thinking back to the night of the yacht gala. “No, we’re not talking again. But…” It was hard to explain. Something had shifted for him that night at the gala, seeing the pain he felt mirrored in her eyes. The way she’d said she still cared about him. They’d almost kissed before DE interrupted them. And Jaya hadn’t said she didn’t want to be with him. She hadn’t refuted that she had feelings for him; she’d said she had a duty to her family. Those were two very different things.
“You love her,” Leo said simply.
Caterina yelled the word “asshole,” and then there was quieter heated arguing between her and Alaric, but Grey ignored them and stared at Leo. “Love? Does love make you feel ill, like you’re being tossed about on a stormy sea? Does it steal your sleep and make you feel like your insides are on fire?”
“From your symptoms, it’s either love or a stomach virus,” Rahul put in.
Love. That was a big word. Was he in love with Jaya? Grey didn’t know. What he did know was that she’d taught him, with her steady kindness, with her unfailing warmth, that he wasn’t what his father believed he was. What Grey had come to believe he was too. She’d shown him he was more than some cursed, damaged, unloved aristocrat. She’d shown him he was capable of more, that he had so much uncovered promise within him. And, weirdly enough, he’d begun to believe her.
Seeing her at the gala, seeing how much she seemed to be suffering too, Grey had felt the ice begin to thaw once again. He’d begun to realize that even if he died on his eighteenth birthday, even if the curse took him, he wanted to be the master of his fate until then. He wanted to die knowing he’d lived his life how he wanted to live it.
Grey turned to Leo and Rahul. “I have to fight for her,” he said suddenly. Of course. It was so obvious.
“Quoi?” Leo said, sitting up. “What do you mean, ‘fight for her’?”
Grey hopped up from the couch and began to pace. Caterina and Alaric turned to look at him for a moment before going back to their conversation. “On the yacht. It was obvious that she—she doesn’t like this any more than I do. I thought I was just some side note in her life, but that’s not true at all. She wants to be with me, she just feels like there’s no solution. But I have to get her to see that there might be. We could do it together. I can’t just let her slip away.” If he was going to die, he was going to die happy and in love, damn it. He refused to let Jaya concede defeat for the both of them. Grey turned to Leo and Rahul, who looked fairly confused.
“Huh?” Leo said finally.
Grey laughed and ran up to them, feeling lighter than he had in weeks. “Homegoing’s in two weeks. That gives me about fourteen days to work on my strategy, what exactly I’m going to say.”
“Huh?” Rahul this time.
Grey grabbed him by the shoulders. “I’m going to tell her how I feel. I’m going to tell her… that I love her. I have to try to win her back. I have to.”
“Ouah!” Leo yelled, jumping up and clapping Grey on the back.
“Congratulations,” Rahul said, also standing and twisting his hands together awkwardly. “Um. May the force be with you.”
Grey and Leo laughed. Grey could feel Caterina’s and Alaric’s judgmental eyes on him, but even that couldn’t dim his joy.
“You’re going to tell Jaya you love her?” Caterina said, folding her long arms across her torso. Next to her, Alaric smiled a patronizing smile Grey wanted to wipe off his face.
“Yes,” Grey said, meeting their eyes. “Why?”
Alaric laughed. “You? And Jaya? I don’t see it.”
Grey felt his old, familiar insecurities begin to rear their ugly heads and tamped them down. “Sometimes people miss what’s right in front of them, don’t they?” he asked, pointedly looking from Alaric to Caterina and back.
Both their faces were livid as Grey, smirking, sat back down on the couch to begin a round of Hallucination.
Jaya
The bell tinkled, and everyone scraped their chairs back and headed for the doors. There was a tangible note of relief, of escape. The English final had been very simple; Mr. Linski had gone easy on them, thankfully. Jaya sighed; another exam down, only three more to go today and then they’d be done with the semester. Homegoing was tomorrow and then they’d all scatter to the four winds for winter break. She’d go home and see Appa, Amma, and… Kiran. And, of course, the engagement preparations that were already underway. She stood and was grabbing her backpack when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Jaya turned to see Grey looking down at her.
Her heart thundered. They hadn’t spoken since the yacht gala, except for him to smile at her occasionally, taking her completely by surprise. Usually she was too astounded to respond. But he hadn’t approached her at all, and he hadn’t mentioned their interrupted conversation from that night. Jaya had begun to think he was letting go. It had shattered her already broken heart, but it had been for the best.
“Hi,” he said, smiling.
Jaya tried to speak, only her throat closed up and not a single sound escaped. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Hi, Grey.” She lowered her eyes and moved to go around him. “Sorry, I have to leave now.”
He turned to walk with her. “Are you going to Homegoing tomorrow?”
Jaya stopped and stared at him. “What?”
He stuck his hands in his pockets. A few people brushed past them toward the exit. “Homegoing. Are you going?”
“Y-yes. Daph wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She paused, not able to read his expression. “Why?”
“I’m going too,” he said, half smiling i
n that way that made her heart stutter for a moment before she reminded it that it had no right to stutter that way.
“Grey,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re not going together.”
“I didn’t ask you to go with me.” He grinned impishly.
Jaya stopped, surprised. “Oh. No, I suppose you didn’t.” She gathered herself again. “And we can’t dance or talk to each other either. In fact, I should get going, as I said.”
Grey continued to smile, as if he could see through her words to the real feelings lurking underneath. “Okay.” He turned and sauntered out of the room.
Jaya stood looking after him for a long moment. Homegoing? But he’d said he wasn’t going. Why would he go to a social event like that? And why was he asking her if she was going? What had changed? Jaya’s blood thrummed with a mixture of anxiety and, against her wishes, longing. She squared her shoulders against it. There was no chance of them ever becoming more. She’d made her unequivocal choice; she was going to be engaged to Kiran. It would be best if Grey left her alone.
Mr. Linski cleared his throat at the head of the class.
“Sorry,” Jaya said as she forced herself to walk toward the door, her cheeks warm. She was the only person left in class. “I’ll see you later, Mr. Linski.”
“Have a good day,” he called.
And Jaya thought, That won’t be possible for me.
* * *
Jaya ran to her room to grab a book she needed to study for her calculus final, which was after lunch. Daph, Leo, and Rahul would all be in the dining hall already. Grey had said yesterday he was going to be studying in the library. Jaya found herself thinking of him again, of what he’d said to her in English class, of the way his eyes had looked. So blue, so bright. Seeing right through all her fortifications. Stop it, she told herself. You want this to be a clean break.
Of Curses and Kisses Page 25
