by Rose Gordon
“Why do you say that?” Henry asked, his blue eyes alight with mischief.
Elijah shrugged. “First, it’s thick enough to be a treatise. Second, I saw him scowling like the devil as he shoved it into his pocket while we were in the library earlier.”
“Are you planning to read us the objective or what?” Henry asked. He turned to Caroline while Elijah continued to unfold the papers. “Alex and his experiments never cease to amaze us. Besides to see our lovely mother—” he glanced at his mother, presumably to make sure she heard him— “reading Alex’s experiments is a large part of the reason we come home every so often. We’ve read details on everything from the mating habits of hedgehogs to which type of grass works best for using as a whistle. The things his brain thinks up to study is astounding.”
“Or atrocious,” Elijah muttered. “There have been a few clankers. Just be prepared, this might be one of them.”
“All right, Elijah, enough chatting. Read that objective,” Henry said.
Caroline had an impulse to grab the paper from Elijah. She didn’t though. They were just having innocent, brotherly fun. They weren’t hurting anyone, least of all Alex. Not everyone understood Alex the way she did. She smiled. No, she’d wager nobody understood Alex with his bizarre tendencies and unusual love for science like she did.
Elijah cleared his throat and held the paper out flat in front of him, ready to read. “’Objectives, avoid marriage to Lady Olivia at all costs, including, but not limited to, finding a tart from Lady Bird’s brothel at the last minute if necessary.’”
He barely got through the sentence before joining his brother who was bent over, howling with laughter. Caroline sat stock-still. The blood roaring in her ears only becoming louder with each passing second. She glanced at Regina, she looked positively pale.
“That’s not all. There’s more,” Elijah said, still doubled over, his body convulsing with laughter. “Just a moment and I’ll read the rest.”
“I don’t know who this Lady Olivia is—unless, wait. Is she that awful creature the late Lord Sinclair sired? If she is, I believe I understand his desire to marry a tart in her stead,” Henry mused aloud, his eyes red and glistening with tears.
Caroline pursed her lips. She may not like Olivia overmuch, but that was her cousin and they had no business talking of her that way, nor did Alex have any right to pen such a statement. Rage and anger settled in her chest and she stood up to take the paper from Elijah. This was enough foolishness.
Elijah regained his composure and pulled the paper out of her reach. “Sit back down, dear sister. This is proving to be his most interesting experiment yet, and I have every intention of being the one who gets to read it first.”
She sat. What could Alex have possibly written that could be worse than what Elijah had already read? And anyway, how in the world could avoiding marriage to Olivia be an experiment? Her anger ebbed slightly and curiosity took its place. His brothers were right. There was no telling what his mind could conjure up for an experiment.
“Ah, here we are, ‘Marry Caroline instead—question mark. If able to fulfill latter objective, marriage to Caroline, that will fulfill objective listed above without requiring a soiled dove.’”
This time nobody laughed at the end of Elijah’s words. Nobody moved or spoke or even blinked for what felt like an eternity. Anger and rage coursed through her all over again, this time accompanied by their close companion: hurt. She stood up, letting all of Alex’s neatly folded clothes fall from her lap. She reached out and numbly took the stack of papers from Elijah’s loose grasp.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have read it aloud.”
“You couldn’t have known,” she said without much thought. None of them could have known. She looked down at the papers and read over his research and experiment ideas. Nearly every single thing he’d done before their wedding had been planned. Choking back tears, she carelessly dropped the bundle of papers to the floor and willed herself to keep her chin high as she walked away.
Chapter 21
By midnight it was over. Caroline wiped her eyes for the last time and froze. There was a slight commotion in the hall, followed by the front door just closing, signaling the doctor’s departure. Her heart ached and her eyes watered again, this time for a different reason. Edward was gone. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head against them, waiting for the house to grow quiet again.
Hours ago, she’d determined her anger at Alex was misdirected—in a sense. Yes, what he’d done was wrong. Very wrong. But she couldn’t blame him. Not completely anyway. Facing marriage to Olivia had to have been a scary prospect for any man. To handle their courtship the way he did wasn’t the most respectable or preferable, but there was nothing to be done for it now. The past was done and being angry about how he’d conducted his courtship was of no use. Unfortunately, acknowledging this did nothing to relieve her current state of humiliation.
She’d learned from all her years of dealing with Olivia that returning an unkind gesture with one of her own rarely ended the way it was intended to. Therefore, she wouldn’t try to humiliate him in any way but do to him exactly what he’d done to her. If she was nothing more than just an experiment to him, she’d make an experiment out of him. But her goal wouldn’t be one he’d want to give up as easily as she’d given him her hand in marriage. No, she wanted his heart. And come what may, she would get it.
The faint ticking of the second hand on the clock behind her was the only noise she heard now. She gained her feet and tiptoed down the hall. Only a few candles were lit, giving her an eerie feeling as she made her way down the corridor.
“Caroline,” Regina said, coming around the corner and wrapping her in a hug. “I’ve been so worried about you. The servants have been looking everywhere for you.”
Not everywhere. Not once had anyone peeked into the lighted parlor she’d been sitting in. “I apologize for not being there,” she said solemnly.
“It’s quite all right. I’ve been in an awkward situation a time or two myself and feel your actions were quite appropriate. Besides, I didn’t stay out in the hall but another minute or two after you’d left.”
Caroline didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what would bring her mother-in-law the most comfort nor what would ease the tension that had seemed to settle on them all after Elijah read aloud from Alex’s latest experiment.
“Caroline,” Regina began softly, “while I’m Alex’s mother and I love him dearly, I do think he was wrong, but his apologies are his alone to make. I sought you out because I wanted to let you know I didn’t feel it my place to tell him what you’ve discovered. It’s your business and you should have the right to do that in your own way.” She blotted her eyes and wiped her nose with the wrinkled handkerchief in her hand.
Caroline hugged her mother-in-law tightly and didn’t let her go until Regina’s sobs stopped and her body relaxed a fraction.
Regina squeezed her hand then let go so Caroline could go back down the hall.
“He’s in the library,” Regina called out to her.
Caroline’s steps halted. He was in the library. Alone most likely. Her heart constricted. His father had just died and he was alone at a time when he might need someone the most. Words she’d once spoken to Olivia rang through her mind, It’s going to mean a lot to Alex when his father dies, and as his wife, you’re going to be the one he turns to for comfort. “Thank you.”
She walked forward again, this time her destination certain. She was going to the library. She might be hurt and humiliated, but right now he needed her.
“Alex,” she said softly as she opened the door to the library.
Silence answered her.
She stepped inside and let her eyes adjust to the dimly lit room. She scanned the room until her eyes connected with a man’s form sitting in a chair with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. She padded over to him, stopping when she was
at his side. She reached her fingers out to push back the hair that had fallen in his face. “Alex,” she whispered, hurting to see him in such a state.
He didn’t respond.
She moved her fingers from his hair to where his hands rested on his cheeks. “Alex,” she said again, coming to kneel in front of him. She covered both his hands with hers and used her fingers to pry his rigid fingers from his face with as much care and tenderness as she possessed. “Alex,” she murmured, bringing her lips to kiss his tear-stained cheeks.
His hands loosened their hold on his face as she continued to kiss his cheeks and forehead. She brought her mouth to his lips and tenderly kissed his lips. His fingers let go of his face only to slip around and engulf her hands, pressing her palms against his damp cheeks.
He sought to deepen their kiss and she allowed him entry, marveling at how different his kiss was tonight. Normally his kisses were gentle and tender, but this one was demanding and hungry. Without breaking their kiss, she slipped her hands out from under his and gently pushed his shoulders back, putting him more squarely in the middle of the chair instead of on the front edge.
She broke their kiss and stood in front of him, her fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt.
“Stop,” he said harshly, closing his hand around her wrist.
Her fingers stilled. “What’s wrong?”
His breathing was heavy and ragged. “Don’t, Caro.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t start something you can’t finish. I can’t offer you any pleasure tonight.”
“I’m not asking you to,” she murmured, pulling her wrist from his grasp and putting her fingers back to work unbuttoning his shirt. “Tonight is about you.” She meant those words. Every one of them. She loved him enough to put aside her hurt feelings and wounded pride for tonight. He needed her tonight and she wouldn’t let anything stop her from being there for him. Tomorrow was a different day. Tomorrow she’d use her wiles to beguile him and steal his unsuspecting heart. But not tonight. Tonight she’d offer him all the love and comfort she had to give.
He made a noise that could pass as a groan or a growl and wrapped his arms around her before savagely plundering her mouth with his tongue once again. She pulled back for a mere second to push his shirt off his shoulders, then settled on his lap, her hands kneading the sinewy flesh of his muscles.
His lips left her mouth and pressed hot, open mouthed kisses down the column of her neck to the exposed plane of her chest. “Caro,” he groaned against her skin as his hands found her swollen breasts.
“Alex,” she whispered against his hair, her fingers frozen, unable to move from where they held his shoulders. Against her knee, his erection grew, reminding her of what she wanted. What she’d wanted since their wedding night. With strength she didn’t know she possessed, she moved her hands from his shoulders and boldly pressed her hand against the top of his erection.
He groaned and she moved her hand lower, to slide down the long shaft of his arousal. “You’re killing me, darling,” he rasped, releasing her breasts and reaching for the back of her gown. A second later his fingers grabbed tightly onto the fabric and he gave the sides of her gown a hard jerk that sent the row of buttons flying from her dress to make clink, clink, clinking noises as they hit the floor.
Alex pulled her loosened bodice down enough for her breasts to spill out, and his mouth immediately sought one hardened nipple while his hand explored her other breast, squeezing and shaping it as if he’d never done so before.
Caroline shifted her body to straddle him and undid the fall of his pants, wrapping her fingers around his hard length as it sprang free from his trousers. Instinctively, she tightened her grip and glided her hand up and down with slow, even strokes. He groaned and his hand came down around hers, stilling her. “Take me inside you,” he panted.
She froze. Only once had he been inside her that way: their wedding night. At first it had hurt, but then it felt good. Very good. So good, she’d had to bite her lip to keep silent. That was something she still hadn’t perfected after all the times they’d been together. But tonight, with how achy her body was for him already, she was sure if she took him inside her she’d not be able to control herself.
“Please, Caro,” he rasped, reaching under her skirt. “Just this once.”
Why he only wanted her just this once she’d never know, but that didn’t matter. She wanted him inside her, too. Even if it was just this once, Caroline wanted it. She shifted, allowing him greater access under her skirt.
“You’re ready for me,” he murmured, running his fingers over her entrance. He grabbed her thighs and pulled her closer to him.
“Alex, shouldn’t we go to the settee?”
He shook his head. “No. Just take me inside you like this.” He ran his erection back and forth along her sensitive skin. “Rise up on your knees, then come down on me,” he whispered, grabbing her hips to help her move.
Timidly, she allowed him to ease her up onto her knees.
“Now, come back down,” he murmured in her ear, positioning himself at her entrance.
His tip slid into her as she lowered her body on him, excitement building within her at the way he groaned in torment at her deliberately slow movements.
“I mean it this time. You’re going to kill me, Caro.” His voice was hoarse and terribly uneven, as was his breathing.
She smiled and moved back up, taking her time to revel in the feel of him so deep inside her. Alex’s hands clamped tightly on her hips, urging her to move faster. “Release me, Alex, or I shan’t move an inch.”
He groaned again, louder.
She sank back down, taking his full length inside her. She moved up and down twice more, deliberately taking her time to torment him and drive him to distraction.
“Caro,” he rasped. “This is torture.” He bucked his hips under her, sending sparks of desire shooting through her every vein.
In response, Caroline lost her last shred of control, placed her hands on his shoulders and rose up and down on her knees like a woman in need. Then again. And again. And again. The friction of him being inside her only intensified her excitement, driving her to move faster and cry out his name.
“That’s it, my Lady Godiva. Ride me.” He buried his head in the valley of her bare breasts.
Any thought of being embarrassed or shy was abandoned as this need and aching pressure inside her continued to build. She’d experienced this before, but never so intensely.
His hands slipped under her skirt and caressed her thighs as his mouth tasted and explored her breasts, sending her over the peak. She dropped her head and pressed her mouth to his shoulder to muffle her shriek.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he commanded gently, putting his hands under her bottom for support. He stood up and walked them a few feet away to a settee, then helped her to lie back before moving in her again. His thrusts were deliberate and with purpose, arousing her all over again.
His pace stayed fast as he buried his face in the crook of her neck and kissed and nipped the sensitive spot by her pulse. His hands roamed, touching, squeezing, caressing, massaging any bare part of her he could find.
Once again, a rush of fire covered her body and sent her mind reeling out of the reality of the moment, only to be brought back by hearing Alex’s hoarse cry of release as his body tensed and he spent himself inside her.
“Give me a moment,” he murmured against her neck.
She pushed a hank of hair off his sweaty face. “There’s no rush,” she assured him. She actually enjoyed the weight of his body resting on hers. She smoothed his hair once again before moving her hands to his back, where a thin layer of sweat covered his skin. She’d seen his back many, many times during their swims or when he’d take his shirt off to go to bed. He had several long, skinny scars across his back that intrigued her. She’d never had the nerve to ask him about them. Likely he’d tell her if she asked, only she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a hypocrite
and expect him to tell her something he might not want her to know when she still kept hidden from him the reasons for her insistence on keeping the lanterns on at night.
Her fingers skimmed his back, up and down, down and up, side to side, feeling every muscle, rise, dip, scar, and vertebrae. She loved him. Loved touching him. Loved holding him. Loved kissing him. Just plain loved him.
“Caro?” he whispered, propping himself up on his forearms.
“Hmm?” She opened her sleepy eyes to look up at him. She already missed the feeling of his body on top of hers.
He scratched his head and cleared his throat. “I’m glad you came to me tonight,” he said at last, his voice husky.
She kissed his lips. “I am, too.” And she truly was. No matter what happened for the rest of her life, she’d be glad she’d come to him tonight.
“Let me help you up to bed.” He withdrew and quickly redid the fall of his pants before helping her gain her feet. “I believe I’ve ruined your gown. And unfortunately I’ve left my coat in another room.” He raked his hand through his hair and glanced around the room. “Caro, how scared of the dark are you?’
Startled, she stopped trying to stuff her breasts back into her bodice and stared at him. “Why?”
“There’s another way to go. One that I know for certain nobody would see us. But it’s completely dark and the most light we’d have would be the two candles we’d carry.”
She sucked in a breath. The library was dimly lit by the fire and the moon pouring in from the open windows. It wasn’t as bright as she normally liked, but it wasn’t too dark, either. “I can try,” she said bravely. She really didn’t have a choice unless she wanted the whole house to know what they’d been doing in the library.
Alex pulled on his shirt and spectacles then went to the door and grabbed two candles from the wall sconce. He didn’t say a word as he lit them and handed one to her. “We’ll take the old servants’ hall.” He led her to an exterior wall. His hand reached behind a giant portrait and suddenly the wall panel creaked open a fraction. He pulled it open and stepped inside, pulling her with him. “Just hold onto my hand. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
