“Tell me more about your family.” Any change of topic is good. Elias tells me more about his parents, his sister, and even his friend, Derek, who is supposed to come down for Christmas. It’s almost like he’s hoping they’ll appeal to me enough that I’ll change my mind about staying away over the holidays.
Not happening.
“Enough about me,” he says after awhile. “What was one of the hardest days of your life?”
I frown. “I thought dates were supposed to be all positive and whatnot?”
“They’re supposed to allow each person to get to know the other person better. That’s what I’m doing.”
I sigh. The hardest day of my life? Which day takes that title? The day my high school boyfriend abandoned me when I told him I was pregnant? Was it the day I saw the absolutely horrified and then disgusted expressions on my parents’ faces, which eventually hardened as they let me know that I would have to leave? Was it the day I had to pick up and leave for North Carolina? Or maybe it was that brief period of time when I was worried I wouldn’t have a job to support Jackson or a home for him to live in before Elias hired me?
A heaviness rests on my chest. A rock clogs my throat. “There are a few too many to pick just one. How about I tell you the best days were the day Jackson was born and when I came to North Carolina? Nothing else matters.”
Elias nods in understanding. “My only regret with Bree is that I wasn’t there throughout the pregnancy and for the birth. I feel like I’ve missed out on part of her life somehow.”
“Would you ever consider retiring early so you could be around her more, especially since you’re her only parent?”
He frowns. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it.”
The waitress finally arrives with our food, which smells as good as it looks. Elias doesn’t probe me with any more questions. He still seems pretty bothered by my last question. There’s a (hopefully) temporary frown on his face as he cuts into his steak. I didn’t mean to upset him, or insinuate that he should quit his job to be home more with his daughter. I was simply curious if he had thought about that possibility.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out, unable to stand the silence between us any longer.
Elias glances up at me. “For what?”
“You’re still thinking about what I asked, aren’t you?”
“Oh. Yeah, but don’t be sorry for that. I’m just wondering if it was something I should’ve considered before or not. And whether it’s something I should consider now. I love my job, but definitely not more than I love my daughter, but my job also provides a very good life for the both of us right now and will in the future, even though it requires me to travel so much.” Elias pauses and shakes his head. “I just can’t imagine switching careers yet. I feel like what I’m doing works.”
“It does; that was also why I was apologizing. I didn’t mean to make you think you were doing something wrong. I—”
“You meant well, Raelynn, I know,” he interrupts.
Conversation flows easily after that. Elias has always been easy to talk to, though I don’t always talk to him about everything. Too soon, Elias’s phone vibrates repeatedly. He grins.
“Alarm to remind me when we have to leave, so we’ll be home in time to tuck Jackson in.” He waves down our waitress, pays, and holds out his hand once he stands. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as my hand slips into his. “How did I do for your first real date since Jackson was born?” he asks as he pulls out of the parking garage.
“I don’t know yet,” I tease. “The date isn’t officially over until I’m home. Plus, I’m curious if you kiss on the first date.”
Elias laughs. “With you, absolutely.”
“That’ll earn you some points then as long as it’s a good one.”
He laughs a little harder and glances at me real quick. “You think I could ever kiss badly?”
“Everything is possible, Elias.”
“Not that,” he mutters.
A smile rests easily on my lips for the rest of the way home. He parks in the garage like usual, but grabs my hand and pulls me flush against him before I can step inside.
“We step through that door and the date is over, right?” I nod, but my brain stopped functioning properly the moment my chest touched his and his mouth was two inches from mine. “You want a kiss at the end of the date, don’t you, Raelynn?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
His grin is quick, leaving me breathless from the sight of it a second before he kisses me. A deep, tongue twisting, soul searching, let’s-get-naked kiss. I don’t know whose hands touch whose body first, but it sends us into a crazy frenzy. Goosebumps prickle over my chilled skin as Elias’s fingers curl and bunch to lift the fabric of my dress. My leg wants to lift up and wrap around his waist so badly, but my back bumps into the door behind me.
We break apart.
Elias drops his head to my shoulder, which must be uncomfortable for him until I realize he lifted me off the floor at some point, so I’m a little higher up. He takes three deep breaths, kisses me hard one more time, and then sets me back on my feet. He even readjusts my dress. Do we really have to go inside? Unfortunately, yes. Elias is the one who reaches around me to open the door.
A small sigh manages to escape me, causing him to chuckle.
“Momma?” Jackson shouts from the living room.
“Yep, it’s us, baby. We’re back,” I answer as he comes running into the kitchen. He throws his arms around my waist. He’s already in his pjs, ready for bed. “Are you ready to be tucked in?”
“Yeah. Will you read to me?”
“Yep.” I kiss the top of his head. “You have to let me go so I can walk, though.” He releases me after a second and Elias and I walk into the living room.
“Everything go well?” Elias asks.
“Are they alive, EJ?” Brayden replies, earning a glare from Elias.
Deanna rolls her eyes and bounces a still-awake Bree. I go over to take her, thank them, and lead Jackson upstairs. I’ll read to them and get them both asleep. Elias can usher our babysitters out. The only problem is deciding where to do this. Bree falls asleep best in the recliner, but I obviously can’t carry Jackson to his room. I haven’t tried starting out in Jackson’s room either. With Bree on my hip, I enter Jackson’s room after changing her diaper, where he’s waiting with a book for me to read to him. I always read the bedtime stories.
“Why is Bree in my room?” he demands to know with a frown that’s partly a pout and his arms folded over his chest.
“She wants to hear a story too. Mr. EJ read a story to you in her room the other day, remember?” I remind him.
He sighs a little, but doesn’t comment as I sit next to him and situate her in my lap. Her head is already on my shoulder. It won’t take her long after all. Jackson leans his head against my ribs since he’s mostly lying down. What isn’t fun is figuring out how to hold the book with both of them on me like this, but I manage.
“Momma?” Jackson asks before I start.
“What, baby?”
“How come you and Mr. EJ couldn’t have dinner with me and Bree? Was I in trouble?” He looks up at me.
My heart beats ten thousand times faster. I don’t want to explain a date to him, or anything like that. What can I tell him?
“There was a place I wanted to show your momma,” my head whips around at the sound of Elias’s voice, “and we couldn’t take kids.” He walks into the room and sits on the other side of Jackson. “That’s all. We’ll all go out to dinner soon, okay?”
Jackson nods, completely satisfied with that answer. “Read, Momma.”
So, I read.
The weekend passes with me having to spend more time with Henry. My favorite thing to do. We’re still hanging out at the house for now. It hasn’t been too bad because Elias had a game both Friday and Saturday, which they lost. Jackson had no choice but to give Henry his full attention. He still got distracted by Bree here and there, though.
I’m surprised by how much he loves to interact with her, compared to how he was in the beginning. Ever since she called him Ja-Ja, he’s been a bit in love with her, I think. He wants to see her walk next. He likes to help me help her walk around the house and to play with her. He’ll be an awesome big brother one day.
Elias has the day off and so far, I haven’t heard from Henry about coming over to see Jackson, but I’m sure he’ll be here at some point. Elias left a bit ago to pick Jackson up from school. We already told Jackson that he might, so he won’t be surprised, but he should be back by now.
My gut churns because something is nagging me today and I don’t know what it is. I told Elias earlier that I felt like him. Like my gut is telling me something, but hell if I know what it is.
My phone rings and anxiety cripples my heart when I see it’s Elias. Why is he calling me? Maybe he wants to change their plans?
“Hey,” I answer.
“Hey. You’re at home with Bree, right?”
“Yes, of course. You left us here, Elias,” I remind him of the obvious.
“And you didn’t leave after I did to pick Jackson up yourself?”
“Why would I do that if that’s where you were going? Why are you asking me this?” I pick Bree up off the floor where we’re playing and begin to pace. “Where’s Jackson, Elias? Let me talk to him.”
“Hold on a second, Raelynn. There’s a teacher here.”
“Don’t tell me that!” He doesn’t have him? Complete silence is all that comes from the other end of the phone and I have to quadruple check that we’re still connected. “Elias? Elias, tell me you have Jackson!” My head possibly floats in the air, separate from my body and I have to sit before I faint. “Elias?” I whisper.
“Have you talked to Henry today?” he asks, suddenly back. “The teacher said he was picked up by another man and Jackson said it was his dad and that they were going to the movies. Did you forget he was picking him up?”
“Forget?” I screech. “No! I...He...Elias, he took him!” Dots cloud my vision and I hold tighter to Bree who squirms in my arms. “We have to call the cops, Elias. I didn’t tell Henry he could do that, and he certainly never told me.” Bree puts her hands on my cheeks and tries to press them together. I start to cry because...what else am I supposed to do right this very second? Bree gently pats my cheeks.
“Raelynn, I’m sure he didn’t kidnap him. He’s probably being a fucking idiot and just took him to the movies like Jackson said. I’ll come and pick you up. Call Henry. We’ll go to every damn movie theater in the city to see if we can find them. If we don’t, then we’ll worry.”
“Are you crazy? My son is missing!”
“Call Henry and keep calling him until he answers,” Elias orders calmly. “I’m on my way back to the house.” He hangs up and I’m frozen for all of two seconds before I do what he says. Maybe his gut thinks everything is fucking cheery, but my gut thinks the world just exploded and ended.
I call and call and call until Elias returns, but Henry’s phone rings and rings until it goes to voicemail. And I leave a voicemail every damn time. I can’t help it. I plead. I get angry. I demand he answer and bring my son back. I threaten him more times than I can count. What the hell was he thinking? Why wouldn’t he ask me first?
“He’s not answering,” I blubber to Elias as he kneels in front of me.
“That doesn’t mean anything. He and Jackson could be in the movie theater.”
“Or on their way out of the country,” I retort.
“Raelynn,” Elias says softly.
“No! Why aren’t we calling the cops? This is insane!” I yell at him. It startles Bree enough that she cries and I feel terrible. Elias goes to take her, but I pull her closer to me, soothing her. “Please don’t,” I whisper. “I don’t know where Jackson is; please let me hold her. She’s probably the only thing holding me somewhat together right now.” I don’t think I could handle it if he took her from me right now. It sounds completely crazy, but he’d probably have to pry her away from me. I can’t let her go. Not until I get Jackson back.
Elias nods. “Let’s go.”
“You’re sure we don’t need to report this, Elias? Because your plan feels wrong.” His plan makes me want to throw up.
“I’m sure.”
That isn’t reassuring at all. The only thing that will reassure me will be to have Jackson back.
Raelynn almost crawled into the backseat with Bree, but I made her get into the front with me. My excuse is that I need her to help me search the parking lots for Henry’s vehicle. It worked. However, my hand is completely numb from how tightly she holds it. Her other hand has been calling Henry relentlessly. Still no answer. The first two theaters are a bust, but we find his car at the third. If it isn’t for getting out and actually seeing Jackson’s book bag in the backseat, Raelynn wouldn’t have believed it’s his.
She nearly faints with relief right then and there. She sags in my arms and kisses Bree’s cheek, who she let me hold when we got out of the car.
“Let’s go.” She takes two steps, but I grab her hand and pull her back.
“No. We’ll wait here for them.”
“What? How many times do I have to call you insane today, Elias? He took my son without my permission. I don’t care if he was planning to bring him back. I’m going in there and bringing him home.”
“Take a deep breath.” I rub my thumb over her knuckles and absorb her glare as she does it reluctantly. “Think about what you want to do and think about what Jackson thinks right now. He thinks his dad simply picked him up from school and took him out. He doesn’t know Henry shouldn’t have or anything. You don’t want to fuck up their relationship or make Jackson scared to leave with him again. We should wait, take Jackson home, and then deal with Henry separately without ever letting Jackson know something didn’t happen the way it should have. Right?”
She doesn’t seem so sure, so I add, “If you go in there hot, guns blazing, and drag him out of there, you’re going to terrify Jackson. Think about it, Raelynn.”
Her shoulders slowly sag in defeat and she hides her face in my chest. “I hate this. I just want him back with me where he belongs.”
“Patience, grasshopper.”
She laughs and wraps her arms around my waist. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m obviously not as calm or clear-headed in a crisis as I should be.”
My knuckles drag up and down her back. I kiss the top of her head. “Don’t worry about it, Raelynn. I probably wouldn’t be either if I was in your shoes. And honestly, I think the only reason I am calm is because you’re not and my gut told me not to worry.”
“I have a love/hate relationship with your gut.”
“Me too.”
I hold her for about thirty more minutes until I see Henry. I gently nudge her away, knowing she doesn’t want either one of them to see us like that. We step toward the trunk to be in view. Henry sees us first and he frowns in confusion. Raelynn is going to rip his ass a new one when she does finally get ahold of him. Hell, I might before we leave. Jackson sees us a few seconds later. He’s confused, but he looks happy to see us. The moment Henry gives him the okay to run over to us, he does.
Raelynn cries before he reaches us and drops to her knees to bear hug him.
“Why are you crying, Momma?” Jackson asks, wiping her tears instead of hugging her back.
“I’ve had a bad day, baby, but it’s better now that you’re here.” With that, he throws his arms around her and squeezes with all of his might.
“What are y’all doing here?” Henry asks.
“We’re here for Jackson,” I answer, causing him to frown. He definitely doesn’t like when I’m around, but I can’t help it. Well, I probably could, but I’m not today.
“We were going to get ice cream next,” Jackson says with mild protest. Raelynn still has her arms around him.
“Maybe another day, J-man. Your momma wants us to go home.”
“But—” He
nry objects.
“No,” I cut him off. “He’s going home with us.” I touch Raelynn’s shoulder. “Why don’t you take Jackson and Bree and go ahead to the car?” She nods and takes the keys from me. “Jackson, tell your dad bye.”
Raelynn almost doesn’t let go of his hand for him to hug him bye. That’s right; Jackson has starting hugging Henry. And calling him Dad, apparently. Raelynn glares at Henry. “Expect a call from me later.”
“I don’t understand what just happened,” he says to me once they’re out of earshot.
“I’m not here to argue on behalf of Raelynn, but are you really that much of a fucking idiot that you didn’t think you should ask Raelynn if you could pick him up first?”
“I did ask.”
“And she answered?” I ask. “Because she says you never asked her.”
“I did,” he insists. He pulls out his phone. “Jesus,” he mutters. “There’s over a hundred missed calls and a shit ton of voicemails from her.”
“Because you took her son without asking and she didn’t know where he was or if you even planned to bring him back.”
His face had already paled a bit, but he looks as white as a sheet when he turns his phone to me. “My text never went through to her.”
There is a text to her, asking if he could pick Jackson up and take him to the movies, but it failed to send.
“I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Big time.” I hand his phone back to him.
“Do you think she’ll keep him from me now?”
“I want to say no, but she was scared. Listen to those voicemails. You’ll hear how completely and utterly terrified she was.” The look in her eyes and the sound of her voice will haunt me for weeks, if not longer. “I need his bag.”
Henry nods. Once I get into the car, Raelynn looks at me expectantly, but I shake my head. We’ll talk about it once Jackson is asleep. He hears everything and this isn’t something he needs to hear. While it’s good that Henry did ask, he didn’t think he needed an answer, which is just as bad as not asking. And really, the text he would’ve sent wasn’t phrased as a question. It said, If you don’t mind, I would like to pick Jackson up from school today. We’ll go to the movies, maybe out to ice cream, and then I’ll bring him straight home.
Worth the Risk Page 12
