Renegade

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Renegade Page 21

by Jeanne McDonald


  “It’s going to be okay, Ian. I promise.”

  “I only wanted to protect you. I never expected to feel… to feel…” Ian coughed, blood flowing from his mouth with every breath he took.

  “Shh. Please stop talking. Save your energy,” I begged. I gently touched his face, placing a tender kiss to his lips. “Help is on the way.” The taste of Ian’s blood coated my tongue. There was so much of it. It was everywhere.

  Ian’s chest rattled with each breath he took. Jude placed his hand over Ian’s and mine, the three of us locked together in this moment. I met Jude’s eyes, finding tears and sincere sorrow within. My chest throbbed with anguish.

  “Promise me…” Ian coughed hard, blood spurting from his mouth. “Promise me you’ll take care of her.”

  I jerked my gaze from Jude to Ian, startled by his request.

  “Promise me,” came Ian’s gravelly voice.

  “I promise,” Jude agreed.

  “No!” I screeched. “You can’t do this to me. You have to hold on. We’re going to get you help.”

  “No hospitals, Lucy. People go there to die. Right, Jude?” Ian whispered, attempting a smile.

  “That’s right, bro,” Jude played back, his voice somber.

  Ian lifted his hand, placing it on my cheek, his skin already cool to the touch. The rain was coming down harder now that my eyes burned. I refused to move my gaze from his weary face. I swallowed back the devastation that mounted inside of me. “It’s your turn to promise me something.”

  The man just saved my life. I was willing to do whatever it took to ease his pain. “Anything.”

  “Live.”

  “What?”

  Ian’s hand fell limp to his side.

  “Live your life as if every day is your last. If you do that, I’ll always be with you.”

  I pressed my forehead to Ian’s. “Stay with us, Ian. Fight.”

  “Love one another. You’re meant to be together.”

  I jolted upright, staring between Ian and Jude. I had no words. What was I supposed to say?

  “He loves you, Lucy, and you love him. You’re meant to be.”

  I shook my head. “Please, don’t do this.”

  A weak smile formed on his lips. “My one wish in this world was to see true love. I’ve seen it in your eyes when you look at Jude. Now, promise me…” Ian gasped so hard that his whole body shook, blood oozing from his mouth.

  “Ian, no!” I screamed.

  “Love her, always,” he pleaded with Jude.

  “I will. I swear.”

  Ian attempted to raise his hand again, but it fell beside him. I reached out, taking his hand and placing it to my cheek. “Yes. I really could’ve loved you,” he whispered.

  A swarm of cars rushed onto the dock, lights blinking and people moving in around us. In the distance, I could see the medics pulling a gurney out of an ambulance.

  “Hold on. Help has arrived.”

  A final breath escaped his chest and Ian’s mouth went slack. I couldn’t tell if it was a tear or the rain, but a single drop trickled down his cheek, mixing with the blood that flowed from his lips.

  In that moment, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I leaned forward, kissing him ever so tenderly. The man who’d brought my soul back to life was gone. Light was snuffed by the darkness.

  I leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to his lifeless lips. With my forehead pressed to his, I allowed the tears to flow as I confessed, “I could’ve loved you, too.”

  And I meant it.

  I pulled Lucy back from Ian’s lifeless body while the paramedics did their best to revive him. I may not have cared for the man, but in his final moments, I developed a respect for Ian that was unparalleled. I was reminded of the old scripture, ‘greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend.’

  And that was exactly what Ian had done. He’d risked everything for Lucy. He’d risked everything for love, and true love is sacrificing your own needs for someone you love.

  “Clear!” the medic yelled.

  The sound of paddles jolting Ian’s body rang out into the night. His torso jerked, but there was nothing. No movement. No breathing. Just silence and the sound of the water moving from the rain that had now stopped. We all watched with bated breath, praying for a sign that he’d come back.

  But he wasn’t coming back.

  In my arms, Lucy sobbed. It pained me to no end that she was hurting. I felt as if I should be jealous of the connection Ian shared with Lucy, but I wasn’t. Ian was a hero. He sacrificed his life for the woman we both loved. Even though Ian’s last words were that he could’ve loved Lucy, I knew better. I’d seen it more than once. The way he spoke of her in the garage. The way he came to her aid at the restaurant, and even tonight, when he took a bullet for her. This man loved her, as he should’ve. Lucy was a rare gem. A diamond. That deserved all the love in the world.

  Behind closed eyes, I allowed the memory of Ian taking the bullet to replay in my mind. Ringo and Lucy faced off, and Lucy was in no way backing down. There was nothing I could do. I didn’t carry a gun. I knew better than that. Ringo, crazed with bloodlust, fired his gun at Lucy. Out of the shadows, Ian appeared. His body moved like a scorpion. He jumped in front of the two of us, firing his weapon at the same time. He hit his mark with precision before being dropped to the ground.

  The medic covered Ian’s body with a sheet, looking up to Lucy and me. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head in regret. “He’s gone.”

  Lucy buckled over in tears, unable to control the sobs that wracked her body. I held her close, rubbing her back, whispering to her. “Let it all out, Luce. I’m here for you.”

  The pang of guilt and hurt resounded in my chest. I wanted to hate Ian for having such a hold on her, but how could I? The man responded the same way I would’ve. He gave his life for her. Yet another reason I knew for certain that Ian loved her.

  “My fault,” Lucy cried. “This is all my fault.”

  I pulled her away from my chest, holding her by the shoulders. The pained expression in her eyes ripped my heart to shreds. “This is not your fault. If anything, it’s mine…” My voice trailed off, the heaviness of my heart choking me.

  “I was so angry with him,” Lucy admitted, “but I didn’t want him to die.”

  A tender smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. “He knew that, Luce.” I reached out and wiped the tears streaming down her face, smearing Ian’s blood in the mix.

  She glanced down at the forensic scientist taking samples of the crime scene around Ian’s covered body. I rested a hand on her shoulder as fresh tears began to flow down her cheeks. Trying to comfort her, I brushed her hair back from her face, my heart aching to touch her in any way I could.

  “Lucy!”

  Lucy jerked in the direction of the voice. “Sarah!”

  Sarah threw herself into Lucy’s outstretched arms.

  “He’s gone,” Lucy wept.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  Lucy tipped her head toward the concealed body on the ground. “He took a bullet for me.”

  Sarah looked at the sheet before casting a glance to me. I silently confirmed Lucy’s statement. Tears welled up in Sarah’s eyes. The two women rocked back and forth in their embrace. “I’m so sorry. I really am.”

  “Please tell me we got Sutcliffe. Please tell me Ian didn’t die in vain.”

  A guy I barely recognized walked slowly up to us, his hands tucked in his black slacks. “We got him, Diamond. Thanks to you and Jude.”

  An awkward silence hung between us. I wanted to break it, but I had no words. Nothing he could say would fix any of this.

  “So this is it?” Lucy muttered, pulling away from her friend.

  “Oh, no, my dear. It’s only the beginning.”

  Lucy looked from me to the other two. “What do you mean, Logan?”

  “Now we have to go through all the evidence. The AG is going to have a field day with all of this.”
<
br />   The medics began to lift Ian’s lifeless body from the ground, placing him in a body bag. The guy, Logan, sniffed. “He was a good man. Thanks to a lot of his work on the inside, we’re going to have all we need to put Sutcliffe away for a very long time.”

  “He didn’t have to die for it,” Lucy whimpered. Her shoulder slumped against my chest. I placed a hand on the small of her back, letting her rest against me. “Had all of you just told me the truth.”

  “We did it for your protection,” Logan noted.

  “The truth would’ve protected me!”

  As though a knife had been jabbed into my heart, I clenched my fist at my side. Everything Lucy said was true, and it seemed everyone, including myself, had been lying to her. Just by listening to all of them, I concluded that Ian was FBI. He’d been working undercover. He definitely had me fooled, and that wasn’t an easy task to do.

  I rushed my fingers through my hair, releasing an audible sigh. “I hate to be an asshole here, but I have to ask, what’s going to happen to me?”

  “Sarah? Logan?” Lucy silently pleaded.

  Logan sighed. “From where I stand, you’re a witness to this case, and will be protected as such.”

  “You’re not pressing charges?” Lucy asked.

  “Auto theft is a Metro jurisdiction. Are you or Detective Canady planning on pressing charges?”

  Sarah snickered. “I can’t press charges against someone when there’s no evidence they did anything wrong. We got an anonymous tip that Sutcliffe would be here. It’s my understanding that Officer Diamond and Mr. Wallace were engaged in personal activities when I contacted Officer Diamond to meet me here. She and Mr. Wallace arrived on the scene and were threatened by one of Sutcliffe’s men, and that’s when Special Agent Clarke intervened.”

  A choking sob stuck in Lucy’s throat. Her eyes widened with relief. “Then it really is over. It’s all over.”

  The medic walked past us with Ian on the gurney. I stopped them before they walked away. All eyes were on me, but I needed to do this. I owe this man a debt I’d never be able to repay.

  I rested a hand on top of the body bag, feeling nothing but thick fibers and pleather beneath my fingers. “I never wanted this,” I confessed. “I’ll admit, I was jealous of you, and I would’ve done anything to protect her from you, but I see now, you were doing the same thing. Thank you for caring for her when I couldn’t, and I’ll keep my promise to you. I swear.”

  A hand settled around my waist. I pressed a kiss to Lucy’s forehead, watching as her eyes filled with tears.

  “I do love you,” she said through her tears. “I never stopped loving you, even when I thought you’d abandoned me.”

  I placed my hand over Lucy’s that rested over my stomach, relishing the heat of her skin beneath my palm. “I love you, too.”

  Lucy pushed up on her toes, placing a tender kiss to my forehead. “You know what this means, yes?”

  Sarah and Logan followed behind the gurney, leaving us alone.

  “You’ll have to tell me.”

  “It’s the straight and narrow for you from now on.”

  I laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Lucy smacked her hand against my stomach. “You know exactly what it means.”

  “That I got lucky tonight that you’re not carting me off in handcuffs?” I wiggled my brows, teasing her.

  “Jude!”

  “Officer Diamond?”

  We both shifted to find a young man, not much older than Lucy, wearing an FBI windbreaker, standing beside us. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we need to ask you a few questions.”

  Logan reappeared, placing a hand on the kid’s shoulder. “I’ll take her statement,” he advised the agent.

  The man smiled and nodded. “Yes, sir, Agent Jones.” He turned and walked away. “Actually, I’ll need a statement from you, too, Mr. Wallace. I’m sure Detective Canady will need one, too.”

  “Sure thing,” I agreed.

  I caught Sarah’s eye, who winked at me, a sad sort of smile on her face.

  This was a mess, but nothing was set in stone. The past was the past. The best we could do was remember Ian and his sacrifice, learn from it, and move forward. I’d made a promise to Ian, and I intended to keep it. Not only would I protect Lucy, but I would love her until my dying breath, just as Ian had.

  Logan turned away from us as the sirens from the ambulance resounded through the yard, announcing that they were leaving for the hospital. At least Ian didn’t have to die in that terrible place. He was able to pass surrounded by love.

  I pulled Lucy close, kissing the top of her head. “I love you, Luce.”

  Lucy pressed her body to my chest, drawing me in for a slow, sweet kiss. “As I love you.”

  One year later…

  Dr. Blackbird and I sat in silence, staring at one another. This was usual for us. He always started off with a random question and waited for me to respond. Today’s question was, “How are you doing today?”

  Simple enough for most people. Not so much for me. I met the dark eyes of Dr. Blackbird, allowing the question to roll around in my head. I released a sigh, making sure to keep constant eye contact with him. Over the last year I learned that was the way to convey the truth to the good doctor. Whenever I evaded him, he would call me out on it, so it was safer to be honest.

  “I thought today would be harder than it has been, but so far I feel okay.”

  Dr. Blackbird glanced down at the folder balancing on his knee and scribbled something on the yellow paper. He double clicked his pen before tapping it against the pad. “Does that bother you?”

  I twiddled my thumbs together. My mouth twisted slightly. “A little. Ian died a year ago today. I expected to be a complete mess, but I’m not.”

  The doctor said nothing. He simply nodded.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I miss Ian and have every day since he died. Even the littlest things remind me of him. A song on the radio, a new flavor combination I’ve never tasted before, even the smell of sunscreen reminds me of him.”

  “And why do you think that is?”

  My brow furrowed as I considered my answer. The memories of that night were as crisp in my mind as if they’d happened yesterday. I could see Ian’s pale eyes boring into mine, pleading with me to understand. At the time, I didn’t comprehend the silent message he was conveying to me. All I cared about was saving him, but since then I’d had time to reflect. His eyes, his words, his selfless act was my light.

  I licked my lips, swiping away a single tear that rushed down my cheek. “Because I promised him I would live.”

  A smile pulled at Dr. Blackbird’s full lips. He leaned back in his seat, meeting my eyes with a wide, curious expression on his face. “And you’re keeping that promise.” While his voice rose with inflection, this wasn’t a question. It was pure observation.

  I tugged at a loose string on my shirt, my throat tightening with tears. “I’m doing everything I can to keep that promise.”

  “Like going to law school?”

  The thread unraveled around the hem of my top. I twisted it around my fingertip, allowing it to cut off the circulation. “Yes.”

  “Do you regret leaving the police force?”

  I released the string, allowing life to return to my finger. “Absolutely not. I loved being a cop, but deep down, I always knew my place was in a courtroom, representing those in need, just like me and Jude.” My face twitched. “Just like Jane and Neil.”

  Dr. Blackbird scribbled in his notebook. “And you feel by doing this, you’re keeping your promise?”

  I nodded. “I feel by being myself, by being what I was meant to be, I’m definitely keeping that promise.”

  “I see.”

  “Because of Ian, I realized that it’s not a bad thing for someone to see the darkest parts of you. It’s only bad when you try to hide them.”

  “He’s had a huge impact on your life.”

  “He has,” I whispered.
>
  “Have you spoken with his sister recently?”

  I brushed down the loose string against the hem of my shirt, shifting my crossed legs, one over the other. My first interaction with Mae Clarke was the night of Ian’s death. I’d requested to be the one to break the news of his passing to his family. They deserved to hear it from me since I was the reason Ian was no longer with them. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I was happy I’d done it.

  “I speak to her frequently. As a matter of fact, I’m meeting with Mae after I leave here. We plan to go to the graveside to leave flowers.”

  I glanced down at the wedding band now donning my finger. I twirled the ring around, examining it closely.

  “And Jude’s okay with that?”

  My heart swelled at the thought of my husband. The support Jude showed through everything was immeasurable. No matter what was asked of him, by me, by the PD, by the feds, he did it.

  The final day of Sutcliffe’s trial had been one of the hardest for us. So much came out about the man, which led to a special investigation at the White House.

  The verdict hung in the balance, but the evidence was irrefutable. With Jude and Klaus’s testimony, amongst so many others, along with the massive amount of data held in Sutcliffe’s servers, no jury could let him walk. When the guilty verdict came through on every count of murder, extortion, grand theft auto, larceny, and cybercrimes he’d been charged with, the courtroom exploded with cheers. I hugged Sarah, crying in relief. We’d finally obtained justice, and it felt good.

  After the verdict, Logan held Sarah, kissing her with so much vigor I had to look away. The two of them grew extremely close during the course of the trial. So much so, that Sarah left Metro and joined the FBI. In looking away from my friend, I’d met the gaze of the man I loved.

  In Jude’s eyes, I realized what Ian had realized and tried to convey to me in his final moments. I was meant for Jude. Even as kids, Jude and I held a deep connection. There was a draw between us that I couldn’t describe. Jude made me feel safe. He made me feel at home. When we were apart, I lost that feeling. It’s why I felt so abandoned by him all those years ago. I’d lost my home.

 

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