by Sarra Cannon
“Did you have a rough time sleeping last night?” she asked. She came over and touched the back of her hand against my forehead the way she’d done since I was a little girl. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m great,” I said. “I did have a rough time getting to sleep at first, but I actually am feeling really good this morning.”
She wasn’t buying it. “Maybe I should call Dr. Lewis,” she said, already reaching for her cell phone.
“I don’t need the pediatrician, Mom.” I tried to cut the edge of my voice, but I couldn’t help it. She was literally driving me insane with her overprotectiveness. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take before I completely revolted.
“Are you sure? Because it wouldn’t be any trouble for me to go in a little bit late to the bank today,” she said.
I forced a smile. “I’m sure.”
This conversation was so not going the way I needed it to. I had to find a way to turn it around fast.
“What’s for breakfast?” I asked. “I’m starving.”
That immediately made her perk up. She’d been so intensely focused on my appetite lately, I figured it was a good place to start.
“I had planned to just put out a plate of fruit and a few bagels, but if you want, I can make you some eggs,” she said. She reached into the fridge and pulled out a couple of organic, cage-free eggs. She was a stickler for organic. “How about your favorite avocado and parmesan omelet?”
“Sounds wonderful,” I said.
Surprisingly, my stomach growled.
“Well, I must say, it’s really nice to see you interested in food again and getting up early,” she said, smiling from ear to ear. There were even tears in her eyes, which just kind of melted my heart. Who knew something as simple as an omelet could make a mother cry?
She may drive me batty, but she was still my mom. And she loved me.
Made me feel terrible about manipulating her, but it had to be done. I was on a mission.
I grabbed an avocado from the bowl on the counter and started cutting it up.
“Oh, I wanted to ask you if it would be okay for me to go over to my friend Nicole's house for a few hours after school today,” I said. “We just got our first big assignment for physics, and we wanted to get a head start on it.”
Mom paused and took a deep breath.
“We talked about this,” she said. “I think it’s really for the best if you stick close to home for a while. At least wait until after your appointment with Dr. Millner on Friday. Then we’ll see what she says about more activity after school. Why don’t you just ask Nicole to come here?”
I bit my lip. That wasn’t going to work for me.
“She already has all the materials over at her house,” I said. “Please, Mom. It’s already hard enough trying to ease back into my old friendships and feel normal at school again. Telling my friends I’m not allowed to go over to their house, even to work on a school project, is just adding fuel to the fire. It only makes me seem more like a freak. I just want things to go back to normal.”
That part, at least, wasn’t a lie. I hated that they were trying to keep such tight control on me that I couldn’t even go anywhere after school anymore. How did they expect me to get back to my normal life if I couldn’t act normally?
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” she said, frowning over the omelet. “I understand what you’re saying, but I just don’t know if it’s the best idea for you to be staying out.”
“I’m not staying out,” I said. “I’m going to a friend’s house for a short period of time. That’s all. I’ll be home by dark.”
What she really meant to say was that she didn’t trust me. Part of that was truly my own fault, because I’ve had to break a few rules lately to get to the truth of what happened. But part of it was the whole reason I was out there breaking rules and desperate to figure out the truth.
She didn’t trust me because she thought I’d been doing drugs. And no matter what I said now, that was how she saw me. That was how she was going to see me for the rest of my life. It was as if everything I had done or been before that accident had been poisoned by that night.
Denying it only made her look more disappointed in me, like I was still lying to her.
Ironically, her disappointment and mistrust was the only reason I was having to lie to her now.
“I need to do this, Mom,” I said. “If you want me to find my way back to a good life where I’m social and happy and ready for college and all those good things, you have to give me the freedom to just be myself.”
Mom sighed as she slid the omelet onto a plate and scooted it toward me. “Okay,” she said, finally. “But you drop Kimi off at home first, then you go straight to Nicole’s. Don’t go anywhere else without calling me first, and be home before seven.”
I smiled. She was actually going to let me go.
I grabbed her into a hug and kissed her cheek.
“Thank you.”
Jordan and I didn’t speak all day. He kept to himself, as usual, and I tried my best to act like everything was normal. I sat with Nicole and a few other friends at lunch. I answered questions in class. I tried to pay attention so that no one would call me out or get concerned.
But in my head, I was thinking about Hailey and Jordan and his brother Ethan and hoping that whatever Jordan wanted to show me this afternoon would lead to some answers.
I was dying to talk to him. I wanted to know what he knew and couldn’t tell me at the bridge that night. And I wanted to show him the strange drawings that I’d tucked away in the deepest corners of my backpack. Would he recognize them? Would he be able to help me?
After school, I raced to my car and stood there, chewing my fingernails as I watched everyone pour out of the doors and separate to go to their own cars. Kimi came over with a group of her freshman friends, but as soon as her friends left, she elbowed me.
“Ready to go?” she asked. “Or are you staring at the school nervously for some important reason you haven’t shared with me?”
I breathed in. Better to explain it to her now rather than wait for Jordan to get here when she could really embarrass me.
“I’m waiting for someone,” I said. “He might be riding with us, and I need for you to keep it a secret from Mom, okay?”
Kimi rolled her eyes. “Do you even realize how much you’re putting on me by giving me all these things I can’t talk about in front of Mom? I mean, you’re dooming me to this role of either snitch or accomplice, and I don’t like it one bit.”
I groaned. She was right. And why hadn’t I just told Jordan I’d meet him somewhere after I dropped Kimi off? There was no reason he needed to ride with us to the house. But it was too late to worry about it now.
“I’m sorry. I know I’m putting a lot on you, but I can’t change plans now,” I said. “He’s already expecting to ride with us.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Wait, he?”
“Yes,” I said. “And no, it’s not what you’re thinking, so wipe that little smirk off your face.”
“Mmm-hmm, because there’s nothing strange about you lying to Mom by saying you’re going to be with Nicole when you’re really going to be with some mystery guy,” she said. “So who is it? Please say it’s not Troy.”
I cracked a small smile at that. “It’s not Troy,” I said.
I kept my eyes firmly on the back doors, waiting to see Jordan’s dark hair and eyes, trying to ignore the flip in my stomach every time someone opened the door.
“Thank God,” Kimi said. She threw her books into the back seat of the car. “I can’t stand that guy, and with all the rumors going around, I was afraid—”
“What rumors?” I asked, turning away from the front door for the first time and staring at her.
She shrugged. “People have been saying that his new girlfriend is upset with him because he’s been messaging you,” she said. “And then some people said they heard he came to the house the other day to see you without her k
nowing, but of course she found out.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So now people think that what? I’m trying to steal him back? Awesome.”
Kimi’s eyes went wide, and she ducked around me, hiding herself slightly. “Don’t look now, but the hot new guy is coming this way,” she said.
“What hot new guy?” I asked, spinning around to find Jordan Greycloud standing about a foot in front of me.
“That hot new guy,” Kimi whispered in my ear.
“Hey,” I said. Yep, my stomach was definitely flipping all over the place. This was not a good sign. I really didn’t need this complication right now. This was the guy who was going to help me find answers. Nothing more.
“Hey,” he said. “You ready to go.”
Behind me, Kimi inhaled sharply and gripped my shoulder. I casually pushed her off me.
“Sure,” I said. “This is my sister. I have to drop her off at home first. Kimi, meet Jordan. Jordan, this is Kimi.”
I took her wrist and pulled her around my body so he could actually see her face, which was currently bright red.
“Nice to meet you,” he said.
Kimi didn’t even acknowledge him. She just gave me a very pointed look that said, we need to talk, and climbed into the back seat of my car.
“Sorry,” I said, laughing. “She’s not usually so shy. Or rude.”
He smiled and met my eyes. “It’s okay.”
I wondered if he knew why Kimi reacted like she did. Did he hear me call him the hot new guy? God, I hoped not.
I pulled myself out of my thoughts and managed to get into the driver’s seat while Jordan got in beside me. It didn’t take long for Kimi to recover from her shock, and soon she was sitting with her elbows wedged between the two front seats, asking Jordan a million questions.
“Is it true you got expelled from your last school for selling drugs?” Kimi blurted out.
I was mortified, but Jordan barely reacted at all. Obviously, he’d already heard about the rumor.
“No,” he said simply.
“So why did you come here for your last year of high school?” she asked.
He glanced at me, as if we shared some kind of secret, which I guess we did. “I came to help out with my grandmother,” he said. “She’s in poor health, and the family wanted someone to help take care of her.”
I glanced at him. Was that true? He sounded so sincere, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about that the other night. He didn’t offer more of an explanation.
“What do you think of Twin Rivers so far?” Kimi asked. “Do you like it here?”
“I didn’t at first,” he said. “But things are looking up.”
I kept my eyes on the road, but I could feel his eyes on me. Oh my God. What did he mean by that? Surely he just meant that he was closer to getting answers about his brother. That’s all.
Kimi giggled and sat back in her seat, apparently pleased at her ability to completely embarrass me. When we pulled up to the house, though, she got out and knocked on my window. I rolled it down.
“What?” I asked.
“May I please speak with you in private before you go, sweet sister of mine?” she said, so politely I knew she was up to something. She offered a smile to Jordan, and he looked like he was about to laugh.
“I’ll be back,” I told him.
I climbed out and shut the door, then walked with her to the front door where I hoped he couldn’t hear our conversation.
“You have got to be kidding me,” she said, nearly jumping up and down. “Since when are you dating the hot new guy? And why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? And what exactly are you guys about to go do together?”
“Kimi, you’ve got to calm down,” I said, placing my hands firmly on her shoulders. “Number one, no one can know about this, you understand me? Like, none of your friends or anything. If Mom and Dad find out that I didn’t go straight to Nicole’s today, they are never going to let me out of their sight again.”
“You can’t expect me to keep this a secret from my friends,” she said. “Everyone in the whole school has been lusting after this guy since the first day he walked onto campus. They are going to go crazy when they hear you guys are together.”
“Okay, so number two, we are not dating,” I said. “He’s just helping me out with something.”
She raised a single eyebrow. She was so not buying that. “Something? Like your homework? You can’t expect me to believe that.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m burning precious time here,” I said. “We can talk about this later. But please, don’t tell anyone right now. And if Mom asks, I dropped you off and then said I was going straight to Nicole’s, okay?”
“Okay,” she said. “But if you really expect me to keep all these secrets for you, you’re going to have to start telling me the real truth.”
“Deal,” I said. “Soon. I promise.”
“You said that last time,” she mumbled.
“Kimi—”
“Fine,” she said, throwing up her hands. “I’ll be patient. But you so owe me.”
I smiled. She wasn’t going to tell on me.
“I know,” I said.
Kimi waved to Jordan, who had been watching us closely, and disappeared into the house. I took a deep breath as I walked back around to get in the car. I had exactly three hours with this guy, and I was ready for answers.
30
A Huge Risk
“Where to?” I asked, hoping Jordan wouldn’t notice the fact that my hands were slightly trembling as I reached for the steering wheel.
“Just drive,” he said. He glanced around, as if making sure no one was watching us. Which worried me. I could trust this guy, right?
I really hoped I wasn’t making a colossal mistake or putting my life in even more danger.
“O-kay,” I said, wishing he’d given me a little more direction.
I pulled onto the street in front of my house and headed toward the main road. When I got there, I looked to Jordan for some kind of indication about whether to turn left or right, but he didn’t seem to want to give me any instruction, so I turned left, away from town. The less people who saw us together, the better.
“I don’t have a ton of time this afternoon,” I said. “I had to tell a little white lie to my mom about where I was going so that she wouldn’t completely freak out, which she does on a daily basis.”
“Take a left up here,” he said, pointing to an old dirt road I’d never even noticed before.
My heartbeat kicked up a notch. Where exactly was he taking me?
My car bobbed up and down as I drove down the uneven dirt road, deeper into the woods. There were no houses out here or signs of any kind. Just woods that got darker and thicker the further in I drove.
“What are we doing out here?” I asked.
Jordan looked around and then pointed to a small turn-in a few feet ahead. “Just pull over there,” he said.
I did as he asked and prayed he wasn’t about to rob me and murder me or something horrible. But at least Kimi knew who I was with. I’d made her promise not to tell, but surely if I completely disappeared, she’d talk.
“I’m not going to murder you, so you can just relax,” he said, a smirk on his face.
“W-what?” I stuttered. That was creepy. Could he read my mind, or was I just being that obvious?
“Your heart is beating so fast,” he said, placing his hand on my wrist and looking into my eyes. “You’re going to be okay, I promise. Just take a deep breath.”
I had no choice but to trust him. I took several deep breaths.
Once my heart had calmed down enough for me to talk properly, I turned off the car.
“You asked me to meet you today so we could talk about what’s been going on,” I said. “So, talk.”
“I do want to talk to you, but before I do, I need to show you something,” he said. He got out of the car, indicating for me to follow him.
I
left the keys in the ignition and joined him out on the edge of the woods.
“What is it?” I asked, expecting him to pull something out of his pocket to show me. Instead, he just stood there, a nervous look on his face.
“I’m taking a huge risk showing you this, but I think I can trust you,” he said. “To be honest, I think the answers I’ve been looking for are locked inside your memory, and you’re the only person who can really help me figure this out.”
“I feel the same way,” I said softly.
“But what I’m about to show you is going to seem crazy,” he said. “Like, they’ll lock you away again crazy if you tell anyone about it, which is also part of the reason I feel safe showing you.”
I laughed half-heartedly. “No one believes the crazy girl,” I said.
“Something like that,” he said, flashing a brief smile.
“The things I’m going to tell you about later are going to seem impossible, so I thought it might be easier just to show you a small part of it first,” he said. “So just do your best not to freak out, okay?”
I nodded my head, but I had no idea what I was agreeing to. How could I know if I was going to freak out or not when I had no idea what he was planning to show me?
“Stay here,” he said. “But keep your eyes on me.”
He walked into the woods, and I kept my eyes on him, just like he’d asked. I moved to lean against the front of my car, which was still warm from the drive over here.
I started to look away for an instant, but then jerked my head back when I realized that Jordan was taking off his clothes. He was half-hidden by one of the larger pine trees in the distance, but I definitely saw skin. He took his shirt off and set it on the ground by the tree.
My eyes took in the ripples of his muscles and the smooth copper of his skin. A circular tattoo took up a good portion of his side, but I couldn’t quite make out the design from here.
He slipped off his shoes and socks next and left them in a pile with his shirt.
When he reached for the button on his jeans, my entire face grew warm, and I couldn’t help but look away.
