“I’m really sorry, Charlie. But I had to tell you the truth.”
She looked up at him then. She’d been avoiding looking him in the eye but she had to do it now. She’d just ordered him out of her home, but he didn’t seem angry. If anything, his expression was sympathetic, as if he knew what it was like to have their friend brutally murdered.
The heavy weight of the never-ending guilt.
“I know you are. But I still think you should go. I don’t think we should spend any more time with each other from now on. We should simply ignore one another.”
She was already thinking about putting her condo up for sale. She wasn’t sure she could deal with the fact that every single time he’d see her in the hall or the elevator he would know about her past. He would know that she hadn’t been able to help Kendra.
“I am sorry.” He didn’t argue, walking to her front door and opening it. “The offer still stands. I may be able to help. I’d like to try.”
With that he walked out and closed her door quietly after. Charlie sank back down onto her couch, hugging one of the throw cushions to her chest as the tears began to fall.
She’d thought she was over and done with her past. She’d been mistaken.
Disheartened, Eli closed the door of his condo behind him before falling into his favorite chair with an audible groan.
What a clusterfuck.
He’d gone over to Charlie’s with the best of intentions, but somehow the entire evening had disintegrated into something dark and sad. He’d never meant to hurt her or bring her pain. He’d only wanted to be honest. Obviously, he’d underestimated the emotional reaction she would have to his news.
I messed this up. Big.
Now she didn’t even want to see him in the hallways anymore which more than likely meant that one of them was going to have to move. Probably him, because this had been all his fault in the first place. All he wanted to do was fix it, but he couldn’t think of a way to do it. Everything was in tatters and some glue and string weren’t going to be enough.
Levering up from the chair, he went into his bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, opening up the drawer in the nightstand. He pulled out the gold framed photo and placed it on his lap as he leaned back onto the pillows. He knew every single solitary inch of this picture. How many nights had he fallen asleep in this exact same position? Looking at Debra’s beautiful face.
“I really fucked up tonight, Deb. I didn’t mean to but I did. I hurt someone and I can’t go back in time. I don’t know what to do.”
She didn’t answer. It had been many years since she had, to be honest.
“What would you even think about all of this? I know you didn’t want me to be alone. You made me promise to live life and find love again, but it isn’t that easy. The kind of love we had doesn’t come along very often.”
Debra just smiled in the oval frame, her expression never changing. He still remembered the day that the photo had been taken. They’d been on vacation at the beach, and they’d been walking hand in hand in the sand. They’d been laughing and talking about the future, not realizing that they were going to go home in a few days and get bad news from the doctor. They’d stopped for a moment and Eli had taken Debra’s picture. She’d been barefoot and wearing a sun dress she’d purchased just for that trip, her sandals dangling from her fingertips. Her nails and toes had been painted pink - her favorite color.
How could that day seem like yesterday and yet so long ago at the same time? He couldn’t comprehend it.
It was a long time ago. Almost a lifetime.
He’d changed, of course. Debra would have, too. That’s just what life does. It sharpens some corners and smooths off others.
“You’d like Charlie,” he went on, rubbing a thumb over the edge of the frame. “She seems like a strong woman, and I know how you felt about that. She ordered me out of her house tonight like a straight-up boss. She doesn’t take any shit, and neither did you. I just wish I could help her because I can see that she’s in a world of pain. She’s hurting, Deb, and I want to make it better. I wish…I wish I could have made it all better for you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do that. That’s what a husband is supposed to do, isn’t it? We’re supposed to fix things, make it better. I was supposed to be the strong one but when it came down to it, you were much stronger than I could ever hope to be. Is this my curse, Deb? To never be able to make it better for people I care about?”
He hadn’t given much thought to the words until they were out of his mouth. He’d surprised himself by saying that he cared about Charlie, but he did. Even though they didn’t know each other well, he liked her. She sure as shit didn’t deserve this.
I wish she’d let me help her.
Maybe he was being arrogant thinking that he could. He was absolutely sure he didn’t want to hurt her anymore.
He’d give her the space that she’d asked for. He’d pretend not to see her when they passed in the hall. He’d take the stairs when she was in the elevator. It was the only thing she would let him do at this point.
If only it didn’t feel so wrong.
“I think you should take him up on his offer.”
Exhausted and emotional, Charlie had just spent the last several minutes ranting to Dana over the phone. Her best friend had listened patiently, and barely said a word so she was shocked when Dana finally did speak.
“Wait…what? You think I should let him reopen the investigation? After all of these years?”
It felt like Charlie had just managed to get her life under control, and now Dana was suggesting digging up the past? That was crazy talk.
“Yes, I think you should. In fact, I’ll go halves with you to hire his firm.”
“I don’t even know how to respond to this.”
Dana chuckled. “Respond with an affirmative. Dammit, Charlie. This is the universe talking here. What are the odds of all of this happening? Think about that. What were the odds of the power going out and you two spending the evening together? Then he’s handed a file folder about Kendra’s murder at his job? The odds have to be astronomical on this one, Char. Don’t let this opportunity go by. In fact, if you don’t want to ask him to help, give me his number and I will. I’ll happily pay him too. Isn’t it finally time to get to the truth? Aren’t you the least little bit curious?”
Of course, she was. She still had nightmares sometimes about it all.
“No one wants to know the truth more than I do.”
“Really? Because you don’t sound it.”
“How do you know if Eli is even any good at his job? He might suck.”
Charlie could almost hear her friend roll her eyes.
“Didn’t you tell me that he was a private investigator with some elite group that handles serial killers? He sounds like the right person for this.”
“That’s what he told me.”
“You think he was lying?”
No, Charlie didn’t think that Eli was lying. He was probably quite capable at his job. He just had that aura about him.
“What if we dig all of the past up and nothing changes?”
“What if it does?” Dana countered. “What if your friend actually finds Kendra’s killer?”
“We both know the odds are against that happening.”
The detective had been brutal, telling Charlie that Kendra’s murderer would probably never be brought to justice. Apparently the first forty-eight hours were the most important. Now it had been twelve years.
“I’ve never known you to be a pessimist, Char.”
“I’m just being a realist.”
There was a small silence before Dana continued.
“It’s going to hurt. You can’t stop that.”
Dana had seen right through Charlie’s flimsy excuses.
“I know that I’m being selfish.”
“You’re not being selfish,” Dana sighed. “You’re being human. Humans avoid pain and unpleasant circumstances. That’s evolution. We would h
ave died out as a species a long time ago if that wasn’t the case. I know that Kendra’s parents and the cops did a number on you—“
“They were grief-stricken.”
The parents, not the police.
“They acted like assholes,” Dana declared. “And I’ll say it again, louder this time. They were total jerks to you, to the cops, everyone. The only ones they were nice to was the press and that was only when they were printing what they told them to. You didn’t deserve to get all the crap that you did. But this time we would be in charge of the investigation. And the press? I doubt after all of this time that they even care.”
Dana made sense, but Charlie wasn’t ready to surrender.
“They were using the case as a training exercise. Isn’t that awful?”
“I don’t think I agree with you on this one. How do detectives become better detectives? Training, I would imagine. Isn’t that what we want? Who knows what might have happened if the detective on Kendra’s case had more experience?”
The detective had investigated two murders before Kendra, and both had been domestic violence issues. No mystery to solve there.
“Also, he was honest and upfront with you,” Dana said. “He could have just kept it a secret and never said anything. I think it says something about his character that he told you the truth right away.”
Charlie couldn’t argue with that logic.
“I don’t have any negative feelings about Eli. I just–– Shit, I don’t even know what I think. I was just blindsided tonight. I didn’t expect any of that.”
“No one expects their past to come marching in through the front door on a weeknight.”
She didn’t expect it on a weekend, either.
“I know the odds are sucky, but I just feel like the universe came together on this one and it’s screaming at us to take this chance. Just think about it,” Dana urged. “Take a day or two. Hell, take a whole week.”
Charlie had a feeling she would think of little else.
Chapter Five
Eli had barely finished his first cup of coffee the next morning when there was a knock at his door. A glance at the clock told him it was seven-twenty-two. A little early for a someone selling magazine subscriptions or cookies. Whoever it was probably had the wrong condo. He checked out the peephole and was shocked to see it was Charlie. She was literally the last person he’d expected to knock on his door. Ever.
When he opened it, she looked as nervous as he felt.
She looked down at her feet and then up at him. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Pushing back a stray strand of hair, she cleared her throat. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”
She wanted to talk? Absolutely.
He stepped back to let her in, nodding toward the kitchen. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Coffee would be good.”
So would a shot of whiskey, but Eli wasn’t going to suggest it. Not yet.
“Cream and sugar?” he asked as he poured her a cup. “I have some half and half in the refrigerator.”
“That would be good.”
They didn’t talk as she fixed her coffee the way she liked it. They both settled at the table, her across from him. For a few minutes she simply sipped at her drink. He’d already decided to let her take the lead in this conversation, and if she needed time to gather her thoughts that was fine.
“I do want your help.”
That was the second shock of the morning. He hadn’t expected that, either. She’d been so upset last night that he’d assume she’d never want to talk about it again.
“I’m…surprised. What changed your mind?”
She fidgeted in her chair slightly before answering. “I talked to my friend Dana last night. She helped me see things a bit differently.”
Charlie took a sip of her coffee before continuing. “She was Kendra’s friend, too. She urged me to take you up on your offer. She said if I didn’t hire you, she was going to.”
Eli hadn’t met this Dana person but he already liked her. She had what his mother would have called gumption.
“She sounds like she was very persuasive.”
“She is,” Charlie replied with a sigh. “Dana is a force of nature. She usually gets what she wants.”
“And you don’t?”
He had no idea why he’d asked that question. The words had leaped out of his mouth before he’d engaged his brain cells. He put it down to not enough caffeine yet.
Charlie, however, didn’t appear offended.
“Not like she does.” She straightened in the chair, a forced smile on her face. She looked like she was heading to the dentist for a root canal. “So…what do we do now? Do I call your firm and sign some papers or something?”
She would need to do that eventually, but right now he wanted to make sure that’s what she really wanted to do.
“Charlie, don’t let your friend force you to do something that you’re not comfortable with.”
Her smiled dropped and her gaze fell to her coffee cup. “I’m not being forced. I want to do this. I’m just unsure how this is all going to shake out.”
She didn’t want to be disappointed again. He didn’t blame her but she needed to know the realities. Eli leaned forward, his tone urgent.
“Charlie, I’m going to do my level best to find out what happened to your friend. My whole firm will give us whatever resources we need. But you need to know that this doesn’t come with a guarantee. Cold cases are notoriously difficult. Eyewitness memories get blurry, witnesses move or die, evidence gets lost. We have an excellent record of closing cases, one of the best in the business, but every case isn’t a slam dunk. Sometimes…I fail. I don’t want to do that here, but I need you to know that it’s a possibility.”
She took a deep breath and then nodded. “I know, but Dana helped me see that we need to try. For Kendra. She deserves closure, and you might actually be able to give it to her. I want her to rest in peace.”
That was enough for him.
“Then I’ll help you. I have to go into the office this morning anyway and we can talk to Jared about the new case. I’m actually between assignments right now so hopefully I can start right away.”
She appeared happier than she had all morning, as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“So where do we start then?”
“We?”
Her chin lifted defiantly. “I want to be there. I want to help. You’re going to need me anyway. Some of the people won’t talk to you without me.”
Eli didn’t laugh at her statement, although it amused the hell out of him. He’d managed to get plenty of people to talk when they didn’t want to, and he hadn’t had to use force. He’d simply put his psychology classes to work. That and his grandmother’s charm that he’d inherited. At least his mother had always said that he was just like her.
“I’m fine with that. And as to where we start? We start at the beginning. We start at the scene of the crime. So you should probably pack a bag. With any luck, we can fly out today.”
He could do this. He could help Charlie find out the truth.
Where did that leave them? He didn’t have a clue but that had to be secondary at the moment.
He’d find a killer, and then maybe he’d find out if they could follow that spark.
Charlie was shocked at how quickly everything moved once she’d talked to Eli. He’d gone into the office and called her not an hour later, telling her to pack a bag and meet him at a private executive airport. They were taking a chartered flight back to her old university town in the middle of the cows and cornfields.
She’d met him and two other men there, Jared Monroe and Logan Wright. They’d reassured Charlie that their firm would do anything in their power to solve this case. They’d given her a brief outline of how they would be working on the investigation, not only locally with her and Eli, but also back at the office with research support. They were also planning to send out another con
sultant in a few days to assist once he was done with his own assignment. She’d signed some papers and then boarded the plane with Eli.
All of that and it was only early afternoon. Eli had swept her off of her feet - albeit in a non-romantic way. She had to admit that she was impressed, though. If this was any indication as to how he did his job, he just might solve Kendra’s murder and find the truth.
Charlie buckled her seatbelt in preparation for takeoff. She fully expected Eli to start grilling her about Kendra and the case but to her surprise he pulled out a briefcase and some paperwork.
“If it’s okay with you, I need to finish some of this work and hand it off to a colleague,” he said with a grimace. “We can talk when we get to our destination. You mentioned earlier not getting much sleep. You can take a nap if you like.”
She was getting a short reprieve and she wasn’t going to turn it down.
“I could use a nap, thanks.”
Takeoff was smooth and Charlie soon found herself dozing in the comfortable leather chair. She didn’t know how long she’d slept but when she woke up Eli was also napping in the chair across from her. His eyes were closed, his ridiculously long lashes fanned out on his cheeks. He was without a doubt a handsome man. She couldn’t stop her gaze from running over his features from the square jaw to the slightly crooked nose, as if it had been broken once in the past.
It wasn’t his looks that had attracted him to her, though. His physical attraction was part of it. That’s why she’d noticed him in the beginning, but now it was something else. Something deeper. Maybe in the way that he seemed to care even when he didn’t know her, like when she was on her hands and knees in the hallway after tripping over a carpet. He’d been kind, and she’d found that kindness was a trait that the world needed far more of these days. Many of them men Charlie had known in the past would have wanted something in return for their invitation to dinner. Eli hadn’t expected anything, although she could tell that he was attracted to her, too.
Cruel Grace: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 5) Page 4
