by Lori Foster
But she met his gaze briefly and offered him a tentative, sad smile.
R.J., not understanding that look, turned back to Drake. “Is it something the two of you can work out?”
“Hell, no.” Drake grabbed his drink and swallowed the rest of it in one gulp. Eyes glinting, he muttered, “She wants to have kids.”
“Ah.” R.J. shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels. “That’s a tough one.”
“Hope knew how I felt about it before she married me,” he said, staring at nothing in particular. “I’ve always been honest with her.”
“But?” R.J. could sense he had more to say, and he felt totally inadequate to help Drake figure this one out. Drake’s parents were as wealthy as his own, but unlike Megan and William, they’d been cold and disinterested in their children. R.J. understood how Drake felt about having children, because he felt the same. Sometimes blood rang true, and you just didn’t know if you’d be good at something, like parenting, or if you’d follow in your father’s footsteps. Better not to put it to the test.
At the same time, he truly hated to see Drake in such torment. It had always been blindingly clear how much he and Hope loved each other. They were meant to be together.
Drake poured another drink. “But…nothing.” R.J. cleared his throat. He remembered when his nephew Will was born, the instant surge of love and protectiveness he’d felt, the overwhelming emotions. “One thing about kids, they can sure as hell throw you for a loop.”
Drake gave him a bleak look. “I don’t know much about kids, R.J. And what I do know is sure as hell not worth remembering.”
R.J. lifted one brow, then again looked at Dana. She’d been speaking very quietly with Hope, but as if she’d felt his gaze, she looked up. Her smile was gentle, her green eyes soft. He saw the emeralds at her wrist and throat and his ring on her finger. “I haven’t a clue how to help you, Drake. I just hope you and Hope can work this out.”
Just then Megan called for everyone’s attention. R.J. turned and felt his sister Anna slip up beside him, hooking her arm through his. Will, her son, who at ten liked to think himself very worldly, leaned against R.J.’s side. Because he’d done it so many times, R.J. ruffled his hair, then rested his hand on Will’s head.
Everyone gave their attention to Megan.
“I’m sorry to tell you, but Jake phoned to say he won’t be able to make it, after all. He’ll be home by Christmas, but for today, we’ll just have to get by without him.”
Anna gave R.J.’s arm a squeeze. “I wish I knew exactly what it was Jake did for a living.”
R.J. glanced at her, then shrugged. “Something with the C.I.A. or the F.B.I., no doubt. Or maybe he’s really a street cleaner and just doesn’t want us to know. That’s why he pretends it’s so hush-hush.”
Anna laughed as R.J. hunkered down next to Will. “What about you, kiddo? You want to be a spy someday?”
Will pretended to think about that, his young face drawn in lines of concentration. “Nah. Mom needs me to stick around. She’d be lonely if I left.”
R.J. gave him an approving hug. “That’s the attitude!”
Will rushed off when the doorbell rang again, and R.J. watched him go with a smile. Anna smacked his arm. “You’ve got him acting as overprotective as you do.”
R.J. sniffed in mock hauteur. “Grant the men in your life a little right to worry, all right?”
“Little would be the operative word there. You tend to hover in excessive amounts.”
R.J. knew she was teasing. “Anna, can I ask you something?”
“Uh-oh, sounds serious. And here I thought you’d still be floating on a cloud of marital bliss.”
“Actually, I am. Floating that is. Dana is…” He floundered, looking for the right words. Dana meant so much to him, and always had. He’d just never realized it before. He hated to admit it, but he’d taken her for granted when she was the most important person in his life.
“She’s Dana. And you know she’s loved you forever. Though I may never forgive you for not having a big wedding, I’m willing to cut you some slack for finally wising up and loving her back.”
R.J. gave her such a blank look, Anna groaned. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know?”
He shook his head, then once more sought out Dana with his eyes. His heart was racing. He’d been so blind, so stupid. He’d almost ruined things between them. “You think she loves me?”
“Don’t be a dope, R.J. Why else would she have married you?”
Why else, indeed? He thought of how she’d always doted on him, how well she knew him and what he wanted or needed and when. The way she seemed attuned to his every thought. She was more than he’d ever imagined possible in a woman, and certainly more than he deserved. He continued to watch her. “I never thought I’d make very good husband or father material.”
Anna put her hand to his cheek, gaining his attention. “I’ll admit you’re overbearing, and your temper is too quick, and you’re autocratic—”
“Enough, brat!”
“But you’re also one of the finest men I’ve ever met. I can’t imagine any man being a better father or husband than you. Will adores you. Just look at how you’ve always been with him.”
Just the word father made R.J. feel a little sick inside. He said, a touch of desperation in his tone, “I’m Will’s uncle, there’s a big difference.”
“Not when there is no father. If it hadn’t been for you, Will would have missed out on so much.”
R.J. pulled her into a tight embrace and rocked her. He loved his little sister fiercely and would have challenged the world for her. “It’s not your fault the marriage didn’t work.”
Against his suit coat, she mumbled, “But his own father took off, and you filled in. Not just as an uncle, R.J., though that’s responsibility enough. But you have been a father to him, too. A wonderful father. And a friend and an excellent role model. How you’ve been with Will, the easy, comfortable way you’ve always handled him, says a hell of a lot about the type of father you’d be.”
R.J. felt a loosening in his chest, a tiny crack in the stone wall of his resistance. He couldn’t remember a single moment he’d spent with Will that hadn’t been enjoyable. From the diaper stage to the teething stage to the repeating-every-curse-word-he-said stage, Will had been a joy. Because he’d been so aware of his possible shortcomings, R.J. had worked extra hard to make certain he offered the best influence possible. He hadn’t wanted to screw up with Will.
Could Anna be right? Could he handle being a father?
He tried to imagine how he’d feel with a son or daughter of his own, and a lump the size of a grapefruit filled his throat. The idea scared him spitless, but it also brought about the image of Dana as the mother, and she fit that role so beautifully, he wanted to go to her then, to tell her, to admit…that he loved her.
He closed his eyes as the reality of it sank in. God, he loved her. She’d turned his world upside down and made him see things about himself he’d never suspected. Good things. And she did it all while asking for nothing in return except physical love.
Because she assumed she’d never have any other kind from him.
“You’re crushing me, R.J.”
With a muttered apology, he released Anna, then ignored the way she laughed at him. He wanted to pick up his wife and carry her out of there. He wanted to be alone with her, to tell her that despite his remaining doubts, he’d be willing to try fatherhood—for her. With her. Hell, he’d try anything to keep Dana happy.
But before he could make that decision, a man approached, and he knew without an introduction that it was none other than Connor.
R.J. eyed him closely. He looked to be around forty, with calculating bright blue eyes and dark hair. R.J. mistrusted him on sight, though he said nothing because of Megan.
His mother hovered nearby, and R.J. stuck out his hand, not wanting Megan to sense his reservation. After all, he’d once been a stray himself. “Connor. Go
od to see you again. Sorry it’s been a while.”
The man nodded, and his grip was a little too tight to be called polite. “I just figured you didn’t have any time to spend with your new cousin.”
There was blatant challenge in his words and grip, and R.J.’s instincts went on alert. In the next instant Dana was there at his side. She always seemed to know when her calming influence was needed.
Dana was cool, poised, and she could diffuse a situation with her mere presence. While Dana made social chit-chat with Connor, R.J. focused on his love for his wife rather than his distrust of this long-lost cousin. He felt full to bursting, and not even a hostile confrontation could dent his newfound inner peace.
Megan announced that dinner was ready. R.J., his arm around his wife, put his worries from his mind and enjoyed his family and friends and his newly realized love. The evening progressed smoothly. He watched Drake and Hope, and wished for some way to help them. Megan brought the baby down, and somehow R.J. ended up with the little scamp in his lap. Though his hands trembled and his heart raced, it wasn’t a horrible feeling. He thought of how close he’d come to being named the baby’s father, and suddenly, it didn’t seem like such a horror. Holding the infant, he could understand Megan’s feelings, how she’d immediately begun loving him.
Deliberately, R.J. carried the baby across the room, bypassing all the women with their outstretched arms, to place the little boy in Drake’s lap, instead. Hope immediately settled beside him, her eyes soft with maternal yearning, while Drake went stiff as a poker.
R.J. laughed, surprising everyone. Love could work miracles; Drake didn’t stand a chance.
He caught Dana’s hand and announced to his family and friends that he was calling it an evening. Since the night was still young, he accepted the ribald comments tossed out about newly married couples.
He and Dana were silent on the ride home, but R.J. was content. He parked the car and opened her door for her, then followed her inside. They climbed the stairs together, and already R.J. was hard with wanting her. The feeling was different now that he knew he loved her, that he’d make this marriage the forever kind, just as Dana deserved.
They stepped into her bedroom and he caught her shoulders, turning her to face him.
Before he could orate on his love, however, she beat him to the punch. She stared at him, her beautiful eyes solemn, and said, “I can’t do this anymore, R.J. I’m moving back to my own place.”
FOR A SINGLE HEARTBEAT, R.J. turned to stone. It felt as if the blood had frozen in his veins. Then determination set in. He’d be damned if he’d let her walk away after he’d just come to such a life-altering revelation.
Nodding slowly, his hands clasped behind his back in a pose that he hoped would hide his anger, he asked, “Care to tell me why?”
She paced over to the window, looking out on the grounds she’d always admired so much. “I love you, R.J.”
“Ah.” He thought he might explode with happiness. He felt taller, stronger. “Obviously a good reason to leave a man.”
She toyed with the edge of the curtain, uncertainty obvious in the tilt of her head. “You don’t understand….”
“You’ve never accused me of being a stupid man before, sweetheart. Let’s not start now, okay?” That fragile look settled over her again. He wanted to hold her and decided there was no reason not to.
She looked startled when he strode across the room and scooped her up. “R.J.!”
“Shh. You’re my wife.” He laid her across the bed and sat beside her. The dress she’d worn was more feminine than her usual attire, and he’d remarked to her earlier how anxious he was to get her out of it. That urgency hadn’t abated one bit, but first he had to take care of other things. “Did you know Drake and Hope are separated?”
Dana turned her head away, but quickly faced him again. His wife was no faint heart. “Yes. I’ve known for some time. Hope wants children. I…I thought about that, R.J. She’s hurting so much, and I can’t help but put myself in her shoes. Every day…” She swallowed hard, then continued. “Every day I love you more. I thought I could do this, thought I could play house, and wife, and enjoy the time I had with you, but every time we have sex—”
“Make love.”
She paused, then nodded. “Every time it makes it so much harder to think of leaving. But you’ve made it plain you don’t want this forever. You don’t want kids, and—”
“I’ve changed my mind.” He wanted to laugh at the way her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Instead, he bent down and kissed her gently. “I have no idea what kind of father I’ll make, Dana, yet Anna assures me I’ll handle it just fine.” His forehead touched hers, and he sighed. “I’m not my father, I know that, but as his son I was afraid I might carry a legacy of paternal disinterest.”
“Oh, R.J.” She looked equal parts amazed, sympathetic and annoyed. “For an intelligent man, that’s not a very sound deduction.”
He didn’t take offense; he agreed with her. “I know. But I couldn’t bear the thought of doing what he’d done, abandoning a child of my own, feeling no emotional tie or responsibility….”
“It’s called love,” she explained gently, “and you’ve already proven—to everyone but yourself, I guess—that when you love, you don’t hold back. Anna knows that, as do Will and Megan and all the rest of your family.” Her hand smoothed over his nape, and her smile was gentle. “You’re an absolutely wonderful man, and I know you’d make a wonderful father.”
R.J. accepted her words, then added, “But only with you. If you leave me now, Dana, well, then, I guess I’ll just remain the most eligible bachelor in Austin, because I sure as hell won’t settle for anyone other than you. Not after seeing how perfect you’re suited to me.”
She looked like a statue, staring at him, not moving, not even blinking. R.J. turned and pulled off her shoes, tossing them over his shoulder to the floor. He felt exuberant and excited. He was painfully aroused. “I think I may be ready to give fatherhood a try. The idea of you carrying my baby turns me on.” He grinned at her. “But if you have any doubts…”
“No.”
She sat up to regain his attention, and R.J. reached behind her to the fastenings of her dress. “Good. Your faith in me never ceases to boggle my mind.”
“R.J.—”
The dress slipped over her shoulders, leaving her in her strapless bra. R.J. whistled. “Damn, honey, when did you get that?”
Distracted, she explained, “Hope and Anna bought me some things.”
He fingered the lace edging the cups of the bra. “More things like this?”
“Yes. R.J., stop that.” She pushed his hands away, then pressed on his shoulders. R.J. pushed back, and gently tumbled her onto the bed. “R.J.…”
He kissed her ribs as he tugged the dress down. “Another thing, honey.” The dress bunched at her hips, and R.J. lifted his head to look at her. Tears were in her eyes, ripping his heart out. “I love you.”
She gasped, and the tears spilled over. “You love me?”
He settled at her side, then gathered her against his chest. “So much, Dana. Damn, I’ve been stupid.” She stirred, and he squeezed her tight to keep her in place. “No, don’t defend me.”
“I was going to agree!”
He laughed. Much as Dana loved to defend him, she didn’t pull any punches, either. She was, as he’d told her, perfect for him. “Good. Because I’ve been a blind fool. My only excuse is that you let me be blind. I’ll trust in the future that you’ll keep me better informed of things I should know.”
Dana wriggled out of his hold to prop her elbows on his chest. The position did delightful things to her breasts and made the urgency beat at him. The emerald necklace hung free, the light glinting off it. “Tell me again,” she said.
“That I love you? I do. And I need you. And I want you.”
She pressed her hips down. “The want part I can believe. You’ve got proof.”
He stilled her hips
by gripping them in his large hands. “The love and need part you can believe, too. I don’t want you to have any doubts, Dana. Not about me and what I feel for you. I’ve known so many women over the years, but none of them affected me like you do. I’ve been obsessed with you, but I didn’t even know why.”
“You’ve been obsessed with sex.” She kissed him. “Not that I’m complaining.”
R.J. pulled her back for a more thorough tasting that left them both breathless. “This isn’t mere sex, woman. Sex I could have with any number of women. What we have together is special, and if you don’t tell me you’ll stay with me and love me and have my babies, I’ll…”
“Fire me again?”
“Smart ass.”
“Smart enough to know a good thing when I have it. I’m not going anywhere, R.J.” She laid her head on his chest. “All I ever wanted was for you to love me.”
“I seem to recall you demanding sex rather forcefully, too.”
“R.J!”
His grin was wicked. “As a businessman, I have to say that was the best deal of my life.”
Dana met his grin with one of her own. “Then I think you should stop talking and start fulfilling your end of the bargain.”
R.J. agreed. After all, regardless of his father’s tainted legacy, he was no slacker. And he’d proved it.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-8712-3
MARRIED TO THE BOSS
Copyright © 2000 by Harlequin Books S.A.
Lori Foster is acknowledged as the author of this work.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
