by Amy Lane
Ellery’s hair wasn’t gelled. Because he wasn’t at the office, yes, but also because Jackson liked it without the gel, liked the way it fell softly forward, liked the way Ellery looked at him shyly sometimes, when Ellery was one of the sharpest people Jackson had ever met.
Jackson was looking shyly back.
“What?” Ellery asked, biting his lip.
“I am feeling lucky, tonight,” Jackson said softly.
“Well, we did just escape death,” Ellery said, rolling his eyes, and Jackson had to laugh.
“Not that way.” He raised his hand to cup Ellery’s cheek. “This way. I’m feeling lucky this way. That a year ago, we… well, we had some serious sex in the span of about two days. I mean, like record-setting pace.”
“We gave in,” Ellery agreed.
Jackson nodded. “We gave in. And you know what?”
Ellery shook his head. “No. What?”
“It saved my life. This last year has been a roller coaster ride, that’s for damned sure. But as rough as you and me are on each other sometimes, I don’t think I could have made it through if we hadn’t started with all that arguing and a fuckton of sex.”
Ellery laughed. “I guess we are lucky.” He sobered and covered Jackson’s hand with his own. “Watching you just… be you, I guess, isn’t easy. It’s never been easy. It’s why we did the dance for so long, I think. But getting to be with you? Best thing I’ve ever done.”
Jackson gave a shaky grin. “Think we’ll make it another year?”
Ellery returned it. “You mean, you and me or, you know, make it out alive?”
“I mean you and me,” Jackson said. “Because if I’ve got a you and me to live for, you can bet your ass I’ll make it out alive.”
“My ass?” Ellery said, arching a playful eyebrow. “Really?”
“Go get undressed, Counselor, and I’ll show you how it’s done.”
When Jackson had finished putting everything away, he ventured into the bedroom, not surprised to see Ellery naked but under the covers.
He started to unbutton his own shirt, shaking his head in mock annoyance. “No,” he said. “This isn’t naked.”
“I can assure you—”
“Pull back the covers, prop your bum knee up with a pillow, and spread your legs for me with your ass on the edge of the bed, Ellery. We may both be the walking wounded here, but I really think we should mark our anniversary with some serious sex.”
Ellery glared at him in challenge.
“Well, that’s romantic.”
Jackson cocked his head. “Do you really want me to get in there and go to work on you?” he asked sweetly. “Because I’ll do it!”
Ellery threw back the covers and splayed himself out for Jackson’s eyes, and Jackson smiled in satisfaction as he stripped off his own slacks and laid them on the dresser.
“You’re insufferable,” Ellery muttered, naked and vulnerable and so, so hot. His long-fingered hand was unconsciously stroking his own cock, and Jackson shuddered seeing it.
“I want you,” Jackson said evenly. “I want all of you. I want your ass, I want your come….” He grabbed the lube from the end table, where Ellery had set it up to be prepared. He leaned over the bed, bracing his weight on his elbows, and kissed the side of Ellery’s neck. “I want your body,” he murmured and nipped his ear. “Your sex, your soul.”
Ellery smiled just a little as Jackson kissed his way down Ellery’s chest.
“Oh,” he said simply. “Okay, then. Carry on.”
And Jackson did. He knew Ellery’s body now—nipples, cock, sweetly giving asshole. But he loved it more now too, wanted to take his time on every part. He kissed and he teased as Ellery thrashed beneath him, begging, pleading, needing.
When they’d first started, he’d done this out of pride. He only got to have someone in his bed if he was a good enough lover to give them the full e-ticket ride. Ellery had figured out what he was doing and put a stop to it, and now, when Jackson did the full-court arousal press, he was doing it because he enjoyed playing with Ellery’s body, enjoyed his noises, enjoyed knowing he and he alone could make Ellery Cramer happy.
He had Ellery’s cock down his throat, his fingers spreading Ellery’s ass, making him ready, when Ellery cried out, “Please, baby. I need you inside me. Please!”
And Jackson couldn’t tease him anymore.
Ellery Cramer was the kindest, smartest, hottest man Jackson had ever known, and if he needed Jackson in any capacity, that was Jackson’s right, it was his privilege, it was his pleasure to give it to him.
He stood at the edge of the bed and lifted Ellery’s good knee, careful of the one propped on the pillows, and entered him slowly, enjoying the way Ellery’s exposed throat patterned red with his sex flush and the way his body gripped Jackson’s cock like a slick fist. He slid all the way to the hilt, both of them letting out little groans of completion, and Ellery forced his hooded eyes to meet Jackson’s.
“Jackson?”
“Yeah?”
“Hard and fast.”
“Yes!”
Jackson was careful, even in the throes of the monster orgasm that was roaring in his blood, not to hurt Ellery’s healing body.
And it was so easy to let that monster roar through him as it was, spurred on by Ellery’s cries of pleasure, turned on by the sight of his hand stroking his own cock, his body stroked by Ellery’s asshole as he clenched so, so tight.
“Now!” he begged, and a year ago he would have been too proud to beg. And a year ago, Ellery would have forced him to take what he needed anyway.
But now, he could ask, and Ellery tilted his head back and cried out, his come jetting across his abdomen and chest.
The sight pushed Jackson over, and he closed his eyes and thrust one more time, spilling all that he was with his spend.
He stayed still for a moment, rutting, because his body was so locked in the action of fucking that it didn’t want to stop. Finally he opened his eyes and slid out, collapsing to Ellery’s side so he didn’t force Ellery to move the knee wrong.
Their heavy breathing filled the room, and he watched Ellery’s face avidly for a clue, any clue, to what he was feeling.
The slow smile curving his lips was a good sign.
“How was that?” he asked, feeling hopeful and a little wicked.
“I’m not sure,” Ellery said, the smile deepening. He opened his eyes and turned his head, capturing Jackson’s mouth in a hard kiss. Jackson returned it and then frowned.
“Wait a minute. You’re not sure?”
Ellery’s warm chuckle rippled up from his stomach. “We may have to do it again,” he teased breathlessly. “So, you know, I can see.”
Jackson laughed and kissed him some more before pulling back. “Okay, we can do it again. And maybe two or three more times after that. But then we have to stop and get some sleep.”
“On our anniversary weekend?” Ellery asked, eyes widening in mock outrage. “Why would we have to stop and get some sleep?”
Jackson propped his head up on his hands and began to run his fingertips desultorily over Ellery’s chest. “Because we,” he said, “have to get a kitten. Remember?”
Ellery’s surprise showed Jackson that he’d forgotten. Then he captured Jackson’s fingertips and kissed them. “I do now. I’d love to. Happy anniversary, Detective.”
Jackson laced their fingers together. “Happy anniversary, Counselor. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
They would make love again soon, he knew, and maybe even a third time, because he always wanted Ellery.
And then they would sleep and have a normal, everyday weekend filled with small things like visiting friends and playing with kittens.
They would rest, fill up with the good things in their lives, make sure their hearts were good to go again.
It was a rough world out there, and even the best of men were asked to make hard decisions sometimes.
They had so much work to do.
&n
bsp; And as always, I’ve included the shorts written between Fish Out of Water novels. The last short is—by request—about Dave and Alex, the two adorable, competent, compassionate nurses who take such good care of our guys.
Thanks to all my health-care people out there—you are remembered and treasured. And even before the 2020 pandemic, you’ve always been heroes.
Cold Water
A Jackson and Ellery Story
Necessary Journey
“I DON’T want to leave Billy Bob,” Jackson said mulishly.
“Cat’s fine.” Ellery labored to throw both their carry-ons into the trunk. He’d packed Jackson’s with cargo shorts, tees, hooded sweatshirts, and tennis shoes because that was pretty much all he wore anyway.
“Aren’t I supposed to go back to work in six…?”
Ellery got into the driver’s seat of the Lexus and sent Jackson a deeply tired look. “Finish that sentence,” he said, exhaustion hurting his bones. “I dare you.”
Jackson took a deep breath—a gratifyingly clear deep breath—and nodded.
“I’m sorry, Ellery,” he said dutifully.
Ellery let out a cracked laugh. “You got out of surgery a week ago. You’re doing fine. You just need to relax, and you’re not doing it at home. Can we…?” He looked at Jackson in honest supplication. “We’re the bosses, and I say we take a vacation.”
Jackson nodded. “You’re planning to work during my mandatory nap time, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Ellery said without repentance. “But we have a hotel room overlooking the ocean, so it will feel like a vacation.”
Jackson smiled faintly and yawned. “You need to not worry about me for a week,” he said, and that new understanding he’d shown when his heart murmur had really started getting bad hadn’t gone away yet.
Ellery was grateful.
“Yes,” he said gently.
Jackson regarded him with narrow eyes. “Am I going to get sex? Finally? Because the doctor said I could go as soon as I felt up to it.”
“And when do you feel up to it?” Ellery closed the door and started the Lexus, drowning out Jackson’s automatic “Always!”
“I’m sorry,” Ellery said, holding his hand to his ear. “I didn’t hear that.”
“You did too, you big baby. How do you know it’s not true?”
Ellery took one more look at him before backing the car out. He’d gained a little weight back, and since the surgery clearing out the scar tissue from his aorta, his cheeks were a normal color again. But Ellery had almost lost him so many times, the idea that he could lose Jackson now, to Jackson’s stubbornness, still filled him with fear.
“It’s true when you’re not trying to prove something to me,” Ellery said, his face relaxing a little. The garage door was open; they were going to see free air. “I don’t just want you for the sex—and yes, it’s a perk. I really, really need to know you’re okay.”
Jackson closed his eyes, the shadows under them indicating he’d about used up his awake time for the moment. The doctor said he’d sleep a lot in the first couple of weeks, but as long as he kept up a regimen of moderate exercise and ate well instead of like a fifth grader running away from his parents, he would be back to five miles a day and a hundred miles an hour in no time at all.
Ellery needed him to sleep.
“You have said that before,” Jackson said softly.
“Which part?” Ellery backed out and hit the button for the garage door. Jade and her boyfriend, Mike, would be by to water Ellery’s plants that evening, and Henry would be by to take care of Billy Bob in the mornings. Between the three of them using the pool and taking advantage of the air-conditioning and the privacy, the house should look well lived in for the next week. Ellery wasn’t worried about it.
Jackson on the other hand…. Ellery would never not worry in that direction.
Never.
“That you don’t need sex from me.”
“I don’t! I—”
“No, no.” Jackson held up a languid hand. “I believe you, Counselor. I just need to remember I have to work at being better company.”
“You do not! That’s the point. You don’t have to work at being anything but yourself.”
Jackson let out what might be a laugh when he woke up. “I’ll parse that in a few hours. Are you sure you’re up for driving?”
“Monterey here we come.” Ellery had literally pulled it out of a hat. Jackson had loved the beach in San Diego, but they needed someplace cooler. Some place Jackson wouldn’t be tempted to surf, swim, or otherwise dive into the water.
Some place they could walk easily, not sweat too much, and eat clam chowder, and Ellery could remind him that his entire existence was more than his ability to solve mysteries or sex Ellery up.
Not, of course, that the sex would be unwelcome. It was just that Jackson needed to remember that he was loved.
He’d come through the surgery with flying colors—and too many people worried about him. Once everybody had gone away, he’d been alone with the voices in his own head and a body that wouldn’t let him outrun them. Ellery had learned all sorts of things about being in a relationship with this man over the past year, but as he drove out of Sacramento and down toward the Monterey Peninsula, he thought that maybe the biggest thing was that Jackson didn’t have a roadmap for how a normal life looked.
Ellery needed to give him some pointers, and he couldn’t do that in a place where every breath was measured against how he’d felt healthy and how he’d felt dying.
A week in Monterey sounded like the perfect getaway. And every time they’d gone out of town before now, they’d had a case. Ellery was really curious to see what they could manage without one.
Getting a room at the hotel in the center of downtown Monterey, overlooking the bay, was expensive and ostentatious, and Ellery didn’t give a shit. He had princess diamond tiara status or whatever in the hotel chain, and he wanted Jackson to wake up every morning and look out at the crystal waters of the bay.
Ellery had never really wanted to abuse his wealth until he’d loved someone who had grown up not having enough to eat.
Jackson had looked around with shy appreciation as they took the elevator to the top floor. “There’s a skyway across the street,” he said.
“Yeah, that’s sort of Monterey’s main street,” Ellery told him. “There’s shops, tourist kitsch, antiques, fudge.”
Jackson laughed softly. “We can walk to the aquarium,” he said. “It’s the one they had in Star Trek IV, but they called it something else.”
“You want to go?”
“Go see about the smart fish? Yeah, why not. I hear they have a mantis shrimp there. Do you know those little bastards have a dozen or more color cones in their eyes? They can practically see sound. They can power punch through six inches of fiberglass. It’s like a little karate death underwater butterfly. I want to see that.”
Ellery looked at him, appalled. “You want to go see a karate death underwater butterfly?”
“I hear they have otters too.” Jackson smiled sleepily, the combination of little-kid wonder and snarky asshole almost irresistible.
“Tomorrow,” Ellery told him. “We can go tomorrow. And maybe drive down the coast some the day after. The shopping in Carmel is really wonderful.”
Jackson grunted. “Shopping?”
“We can get my mother’s Hanukkah gift early.”
“Sure.” Jackson wrinkled his nose. “And yours, I guess. And your birthday gift while we’re at it. I sucked at your birthday gift.”
“You got me a very nice tie.” It had Siamese cats on it, like Billy Bob except with four legs. Ellery sort of treasured it, as tacky as it was, because Jackson had tried—hard—to reconcile their two different worlds.
Jackson’s laugh cracked. “I got a pass because last year was fucked way up. No more passes. I have to give better gifts.”
No. No, you don’t.
“Then we have to go shopping together,” Ell
ery said, voice thick. “It’s a skill.”
Like resting.
“WHAT ARE we going to do this evening?” Jackson said it with bright interest, but his steps dragged. People don’t like to admit that traveling is exhausting, particularly people like Jackson who felt like they were cheating at life when sitting still.
“You’re going to go sleep some more, and then we can go walk around and find a restaurant.” And Ellery could research the three cases they’d gotten in the past week. He’d be super excited about how he and Jackson kept attracting media attention with their high-profile cases if it didn’t mean Jackson ended up in the hospital all the fucking time.
“Aw, come on, Counselor. At least let me use my Google Fu and help you brain words.”
That was actually not a bad idea. Jackson’s instincts—whether he was up and around or not—were usually spot-on.
“Fine. Nap first.”
“Lay down with me?” And Ellery might have said no if Jackson had done that suggestively. But he didn’t. Instead, it was couched as a simple request, bare and particularly vulnerable.
Ellery couldn’t ignore those. Jackson so rarely made them.
“Sure.”
Jackson lay down dutifully as Ellery set up their luggage—Jackson’s battered duffel, Ellery’s Samsonite Rollaboard. Ellery put both their shaving kits in the bathroom and came back to the bed, where he kicked off his loafers and arranged himself neatly next to Jackson. Jackson had brought a blanket from home, something he’d owned before they’d gotten together that he’d picked up at a craft fair, and he was curled up underneath it, watching Ellery with hooded eyes. His hand on Ellery’s middle was warm and welcome, and Ellery closed his eyes, relaxing into the comfort he’d insisted upon.
“Going to nap with me?” Jackson asked. “The traffic was pretty awful on the way down.”
Yes, it had been. And, well, Jackson needed a roadmap. It was up to Ellery to provide. He slid lower on the bed so their heads were even on the pillows.
“You’re good at that,” he murmured.
