“What the hell were those things?” Alessandra asked.
“God only knows—and when I say that, I mean it literally. That was the single weirdest experience of my life.”
“What the hell is going on here? What just happened defies everything I’ve ever believed.”
“No shit. We have officially entered the Twilight Zone.”
We sat ruminating for a few minutes, until I realized we had some serious decisions to make.
“So, what should we do now? Drive the hell out of here and head back to San Jose?” I asked.
“The roads are pretty treacherous at night, but if we stay here, those things might come back for us.”
“I suppose, but I imagine if they were coming for us, they’d already be here.”
“I wonder why they gave up the chase,” she asked.
“They screamed when I shot them, so perhaps bullets have an effect on the spirit world.”
“Or perhaps only when they materialize on our plane of existence.”
“Fuck, I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation,” I said.
“Yeah, no shit. I’m still shaking.”
“Me too, from fear and cold, and I could sure use a nice hot shower. How about you?” I asked.
“Hell yeah.”
I stripped down right then and there and walked into a shower stall and turned on the water. A moment later, Alessandra joined me, and it was the first time we were completely naked and in close proximity of each other. Apparently, there was nothing quite as effective as a supernatural experience to send shyness and social pleasantries out the window. She wrapped her arms around me, and we stood there holding each other as we mentally and physically decompressed. After a time I grabbed the shampoo and massaged it into her hair then switched to soap. When she was good and lathered, I did the same to myself, then together we ducked under the stream of hot water to rinse. Clean and feeling better, we stepped out of the shower and dried off but remained in our towels as we walked out of the bathroom and headed to our guest quarters. Once inside, Alessandra paused and looked at me, and her pupils were unusually large within her beautiful hazel eyes.
“I’m feeling kind of strange,” she said.
“I am too—kind of light headed and dreamy but oddly content in spite of what we experienced earlier tonight.”
“Same here.”
We turned our attention to the two beds, and neither of us were quite sure what to say or do in terms of our sleeping arrangements.
“So, should we sleep separately or together?” I asked.
“Definitely together,” she responded quickly.
I turned off the main light, and, as we lay down beside each other, I realized there was a little nightlight in the corner that was making our faces glow in a surreal shade of red. It created an unusual ambiance, and, along with the fact that the single bed was fairly small and we were only dressed in towels, it was making for an extremely intimate setting.
“Fuck, you are so beautiful,” I said, as I gazed into her eyes and ran my fingers through her hair.
“I find you so attractive that sometimes it’s hard to breathe when I look at you,” she said, as she stared back dreamily into my eyes.
“Wait? Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why have you been trying so hard to push me away?” I asked.
“It’s like I said—I’m afraid of my feelings.”
“And you’re not afraid right now?”
“No, I feel really good and safe at the moment.”
“Well, oddly, I’m feeling the same way.”
I really wanted to kiss her, but somehow I refrained, and we continued to stare at each other, lost in a kind of dreamy haze as we drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Shitty Chili Bang Bang
AN INDISCERNIBLE AMOUNT of time passed, and I realized I was having an incredibly lucid dream. I was still in the same bed in which I had gone to sleep, but everything looked more vivid, and physical sensations were more acute. It was kind of like being on psychedelic mushrooms, and the room appeared to be pulsating with red light, and Alessandra was beside me, smiling seductively as she ran her fingers along my chest and teased my nipples.
“Holy shit, this is a dream, so we can finally get together without all the guilt and bullshit,” I said, aloud.
“Yeah, I know,” she responded.
“That’s so cool that you’re in my dream.”
“Yeah, and you’re in mine.”
I decided to test the parameters of my dream, and I reached over, peeled down her towel, and gazed at her beautiful nude form. She leaned close and kissed me, and the touch of her lips sent instantaneous bolts of electricity throughout my body. We touched tongues, and the sensation grew more intense, and soon I was feeling the beginnings of a full-fledged growth spurt in my loins. Alessandra reached over and pulled off my towel and cast her gaze down my body and upon my manhood, which was now flying gloriously at full mast. She smiled then reached over and started running her fingers up and down its length.
“I need to have you right now,” she said.
“OK, but…”
“But nothing—we can’t fight it anymore. We need to do this,” she said, with a hunger in her eyes that made my heart start to pound in my chest.
“Agreed.”
I found myself uncontrollably drawn to her and leaned close and kissed her neck then slowly ran my lips down her chest before stopping to encircle her nipples with my tongue. She let out a soft little moan then rolled onto her back and beckoned me to move between her open her legs. I obliged and took a long moment to admire the view before running my hands from her toes to her thighs, all the while watching as her anticipation grew when I neared her garden of pleasure. At that point, I leaned down and kissed one thigh then the other before plunging my tongue into her essence. She gasped and arched her back as I ran my tongue over and around her clitoris, and she was soon on the edge of climax. I increased my efforts, and she came with a fury and writhed before my eyes until I eased my mouth away and gazed at Alessandra in the eerie stillness of the dream. My surroundings were almost flickering like waves of heat on a hot desert highway, but this wasn’t exactly a mirage. It felt real, and the sensations, instead of being dreamlike, were very visceral, making this the coolest dream I’d ever experienced.
She reached up and pulled me down and kissed me, and her tongue met mine like a wild, angry serpent. She was utterly insatiable, and I could feel her beating heart as she gently nibbled my lip. She abruptly pressed my face back down to her lady region, and I set forth unto another archaeological odyssey in Professor Hot Sauce’s spicy taco tomb. This time, she took hold of my head and pulled me tight to her essence as she thrust out her hips while I slid my hands beneath her buttocks and pulled her pelvis to my mouth and plunged my tongue into her essence. She moaned and tensed, and, as I slid up to her clitoris, she cried out.
“Oh, fuck yes!”
I transitioned back and forth from slow purposeful circles of her clitoris to plunging my tongue deep inside her essence, and it drew out her pleasure and kept her floating on the edge of ecstasy. Soon, she was begging for release, and as I brought her ever closer to climax, I slipped my fingers inside just far enough to reach the hotly contested Gräfenberg Spot—so named for German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg. It was believed to increase the intensity of orgasm in some women, so why not go the extra mile in case Alessandra was one of the lucky ones. It apparently worked, or at least it did on the dream version of Professor Hot Sauce, because she was soon calling out loudly, and her entire body was shaking uncontrollably as she experienced her most earth shaking climax yet. Sweet balls of fire! This was an amazing dream.
“Why did we wait so long?” she asked, breathlessly.
“I don’t know. Clearly, we’re dumbasses.”
“Do you know that I have wanted you from the first moment I saw you at the airport?”
“Do you
know that I’ve wanted you from the first moment I heard your name.”
“That’s stupid. You thought I was a man,” she said, with a laugh.
“My desire cannot be contained by gender.”
“So, if I’d been a stuffy old guy in khaki pants, you’d have been equally attracted?”
“Yeah, if you were a stuffy old guy in khaki pants that happened to look like you.”
Alessandra abruptly sat up and knocked me back onto the small bed and took hold of my manhood.
“It’s my turn to play,” she said, as she smiled wickedly and began stroking it.
A moment passed, then she leaned down and began circling the tip with her tongue before taking it into her mouth. Now, I was the one calling out in pleasure, and it wasn’t long before I had to pull free in order to keep from ejaculating. Alessandra looked up at me, almost angry that I had put a stop to her fun, but her expression changed when she climbed atop me and slid my throbbing manhood deep inside her hot, welcoming essence. Her eyes rolled back, and a gasp escaped her lips, but she soon recovered and placed her hands upon my shoulders and set forth upon a furious pace of sweet lovemaking. Oddly, I had never experienced climax in a dream, and, as the experience with Alessandra’s sister and Carina was apparently real, then this would likely be the first time.
Sweet release was coming on quickly, but I wanted the pleasure to continue, so I grabbed hold of her hips and slowed her pace and used the time to bring Alessandra down for a kiss. Her lips were soft and glorious, and her tongue felt oddly powerful as it pressed against my own. She soon pulled free, however, and leaned back and ran her hands through my hair as I leaned forward and circled each large nipple with my tongue, making sure to leave both particularly hard and dangerously pointy. Her soft lips beckoned more attention, so I left the sweet land of mountainous mammaries to deliver another kiss, and, as usual, I found her tongue laying in wait. It sprung forward with the intensity of a cobra’s strike, and the exchange was hot, harried, and set the stage for the penultimate climax. We were soon forced to part mouthes as she increased the gyrating motion of her hips, but it added to her clitoral sensation and thankfully allowed me to stay just short of my impending climax. I gave her buttocks a firm squeeze then reached up and steadied her bouncing breasts—all the while using my thumbs to gently encircle her nipples. This was indeed the dream of all dreams.
Alessandra started writhing and was engulfed by yet another orgasm, but I steered a different course as I selfishly, or perhaps un-selfishly, held out for one more. Alessandra gazed down at me with her sultry eyes and an expression that was almost manic from an overdose of pleasure, and I realized I would soon be at the end of my staying power. I therefore placed my hands on her hips and helped direct them with an urgency to climax that bordered on painful. My entire being was now crying for release, and Alessandra and I called out loudly as we headed forth unto a mutual reckoning. She abruptly threw back her head and thrust her breasts outward, with her hard nipples pointed towards heaven—my exact destination at the moment.
In spite of a lifetime unable to reach orgasm in the dream state, it was here, and both me and my literal girl of my dreams climaxed with the unbridled fury of the birth of a new galaxy and floated though a universe of pure pleasure until slowly coming to rest to gaze into each other’s eyes and kiss. Again, her tongue came out to meet mine, and the exchange stirred my loins enough to wonder if I had another round in me. Before I could pursue that thought, however, she pulled her head back and rolled to my side and threw her leg over mine. She kissed me one more time then fell into a deep slumber, and I stared at the beautiful face of Professor Hot Sauce and wondered how and when I would fall asleep within a dream. The movie Inception came to mind, and, as I thought about the spinning top at the very end, I found myself drifting off into a strangely dreamless state of sleep.
Morning came, and I found Alessandra buried in my arms as we lay on the rather small bed in the guest quarters. We were both naked, and our towels were lying on the floor beside the bed. I turned my gaze back to her and instantly thought about my dream and felt a stirring in my loins that could quite easily grow into some healthy morning wood. Unfortunately, that would have to wait, as I had a massive horse piss looming within my bladder. I slipped out of bed, found a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and walked outside and over to the bathroom. Inside, I took a mammoth piss, during which I let loose one of the five largest farts of my life. Don’t worry about gas, I soaked the beans, that fucker Ernesto had said. Soaked them indeed—probably in rocket fuel judging by that fart. Perhaps the Kissing Bandito actually had tried to sabotage any romance between me and Professor Hot Sauce. I finished peeing then walked to the sink, ever thrilled to brush my teeth.
I had just moved on to the back teeth in the bottom row when the door swung open, and there stood Alessandra looking lovely, albeit a little dazed. She too had thrown on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt but skipped the bra—thank God, as her nipples, obvious even at room temperature, were looking particularly pointy and delectable in the ever so slightly chilly morning air.
“Oh good, you’re still in one piece,” she said.
“I take it that you heard my fart?”
“Yeah, and judging by its voluminous size, I imagine you considered a C-section over a natural birth.”
“Yeah, but I decided to go with natural.”
“What did you name it?”
“Ernesto, in honor of its father.”
“Well, I’m happy it’s no longer here.”
“Yeah, farts—they grow up so fast, and then boom, they’re leaving home and you’re stuck suffering with a great big case of empty nest syndrome.”
“Well, don’t worry, as I fear you might be harboring octuplets.”
“I must say—you’re pretty saucy and cheerful considering we survived a harrowing night in the jungle running from mythological creatures.”
“Fuck, I’d kind of forgotten all that, as I was still thinking about my crazy-ass sex dream.”
I instantly stopped brushing my teeth, spit, rinsed out my mouth, and nervously looked into her eyes.
“Wait a minute. What kind of sex dream?” I asked.
“You know—a sex dream. The kind with sex in it.”
“Was I, by chance, in it?”
She smiled and looked a little embarrassed.
“Yeah, and it was actually pretty fucking amazing. Too bad we can’t have sex like that in real life.”
I couldn’t help but stare at her in complete shock.
“What? Girls can’t have sex dreams?” she asked.
“Of course they can. It’s just that I had an awesome sex dream as well—and you were in it.”
“Funny, do you think our subconscious minds are trying to tell us something?”
“Yeah, the same thing my conscious mind has been saying all along,” I responded.
She walked over to a stall, peed, then returned to the sink and brushed her teeth, though she had a strange look on her face as she reflected on our conversation. She finished and rinsed out her mouth, then turned and looked at me with a concerned look in her eyes.
“Do you think it might not have been a dream, and we actually had sex?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Describe your dream. Where did it take place?”
“In the guest cabin.”
“Mine too, and it got pretty explicit.”
“Um—in your dream did you happen to go down on me?” she asked a little uncomfortably.
“Of course, it’s only right to provide proper foreplay—even in dreams. Speaking of which—you also went down on me.”
“Oh shit,” she said, holding up her hands to her head as she closed her eyes and groaned.
“What?” I asked.
“This is getting a little spooky.”
“Agreed.”
“OK, so how many orgasms did I have in your dream?”
“Um—let me think.”
I took a moment to remember then start
ed to answer, but she held up her hand.
“Wait, let’s say it at the same time, so we can’t influence each other’s answer. That way it’s a more legitimate test. You ready? On three. One, two, three!”
“Four!” We both said, at the exact same time.
We both looked at each other in shock.
“Fuck!” we both said, at the same time.
“Shit!” we both responded, once again at the same time.
It would appear that our night of sex had apparently left us mentally intertwined.
“So, I’m fairly certain we had a night of amazing sex,” I said.
“That sure makes things a little weird.”
“It’s only weird if we let it be weird, so, let’s not let it be weird.”
“Agreed, so, it was just some sex between two consenting adults.”
“Exactly—it was just some really great sex between two consenting adults.”
“Yeah—just really, really great sex between two consenting adults,” she added.
We had a moment of awkward silence, then we looked at each other a little uncomfortably.
“Fuck,” we both said, at the same time.
“So, how in the hell did it happen?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but I was definitely feeling pretty good when we went to bed.”
“Me too, though I was feeling a bit dreamy—almost as though I were tripping a little bit.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Another quiet moment ensued, and I thought back to something Alessandra had said the previous day.
“Shit—I guess you weren’t lying when you said that you wouldn’t kiss me because you might fall for me,” I responded.
She sighed and closed her eyes as she rubbed her head.
“Oh God—maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.”
“Oh, so now you don’t want to talk. I wish you’d have felt this way when you cornered me on the toilet yesterday.”
“Look, Tag, this is more complicated for me, as I’m with someone.”
“Don’t worry, as I have no idea who your secret man is, and, even if I did, I wouldn’t tell him anything.”
The Chalupa Conundrum Page 24
