“They only prove how strong, determined, and resilient you are. If I could take back what I did, how you got those, I would in a heartbeat. I’d rather it had been me.”
She rolled up to her knees and put her hands on his face and looked into his earnest eyes. “I know you mean that, but I’m tired of looking back. Let’s both try to let it go and be here right now. You. Me. The possibility of what this”—she kissed him softly, letting him feel all the passion and belonging she felt in his arms—“could be if only we gave in to it.”
“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.”
She’d spent every day in prison—before, even—wishing for someone like him to share her life. To be there for her when it all got to be too much. For the simple and complicated things. To laugh and love and share everything life had to offer.
“Show me what this is between us.”
He cupped her face and kissed her again. Long, deep, all-encompassing. “It’s everything. You are everything to me.”
He’d shown her that by finding a way to get her out of jail and expunge her record, riding to her rescue when Darren had her at his mercy. He’d proven it to her in every kiss they shared and honest talk they had, and in other ways, like bringing her dinner tonight and trusting her to handle getting the evidence on Darren.
But here she was thinking, when that was the last thing she wanted to do right now. “Kiss me. I need to feel you all around me.”
He didn’t just kiss her, he wrapped her up in his arms and held her close, skin to skin and heart to heart, her soft breasts pressed to the hard wall of his chest.
From there, the last of his clothes disappeared as she explored every inch of skin, every sculpted muscle, every tempting inch she could get her hands and mouth on until he tumbled her back onto the bed and returned the favor. He had her arching up to meet his greedy mouth at her breast, rocking her hips into his palm as his probing fingers stroked and caressed her until she wanted to beg.
But she didn’t have to, because Chris read her need and gave her exactly what she wanted, rising above her, condom on, his body joining with hers in one deep thrust that had her sighing with relief and grinding her hips against his. His deep moans and hungry kisses only drove her to the height of passion. But he didn’t let her soar over that edge alone.
They made love, not like it was the first time, but like they needed to say everything only their bodies could convey, because words weren’t enough.
Long strokes, deep thrusts, the dance went on and on until pure pleasure crashed over them. Her body echoed with the pleasure he gave her. He rocked into her one last time, setting off aftershocks that made her smile up at him.
He brushed her hair away from her face. “Stay with me.”
“I’m exactly where I want to be.”
They settled into the bed next to each other. He pulled her close and held her tight, her head resting on his shoulder.
She missed his weight and the feel of him moving inside her, but this was nice. Cozy. Comfortable.
She put her hand on his face, his rough cheek scraping her palm. He’d closed his eyes and lay completely relaxed, though she didn’t think he’d fallen asleep. She swept her fingertips over the dark circles under his eyes. He deserved a good night’s sleep after spending the last few days helping with the evacuations.
Sleep tried to drag her under, but she took this moment to study his face, memorize the details, feel his strong body pressed along hers, and accept and understand what this deep, surprising, and wonderful feeling of contentment really meant.
And in his arms, she finally slept, worry-free and safe.
Evangeline woke up hours later with a smile, sultry memories on replay in her mind, and Chris still holding her close. She’d like to make love to him again, wake him up with a smile, too, but she had things to do, people to see, deals to make.
Chris barely stirred when she reluctantly slipped from his arms and the bed, but she smiled when he grumbled something in his sleep and reached out to the empty side of the bed.
She quietly and quickly dressed and found her purse where she’d dropped it in the entry. She texted Joey to pick her up on his way to the ranch, and made coffee for Chris, though she felt kind of strange rooting around in his kitchen without his permission. She didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. She didn’t want him to think she’d snuck out because she regretted last night.
She didn’t.
Far from it.
What she had a hard time acknowledging was that the second she opened her eyes and saw him this morning she’d had this warm sense of love and belonging so strong that all she wanted to do was shirk her responsibilities and stay in bed with him forever. She wanted that sweet perfection they’d shared last night that left her greedy for him and feeling like she could spend the rest of her life making him happy.
It kind of scared her at the same time she relished the thrill of excitement zipping through her. She’d never expected to fall for him. But she’d not only found the unexpected attraction sexy and exciting, she’d found it was only the surface of what she felt for him.
She walked back into his bedroom and stared at him sprawled in the big bed. He took up most of the space. But he still had his hand outstretched, reaching out to where she’d been beside him. Where she wanted to be right now.
She sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on his bare chest. “You are such a wonderful surprise,” she whispered. “I never expected this. You and me.”
Chris put his hand over hers. “What are you doing? Come back to bed.” Groggy and barely awake, he didn’t even open his eyes.
She leaned down and kissed him softly. “I have to go. The animals need to be fed.”
“Let your brothers do it. You need to sleep and take care of yourself.”
“You took care of me last night. Thank you for dinner, for bringing me here, and showing me what it’s like to be with someone who really cares about me.”
His eyes flew open. He sat up and reached for her, placing his wrist on her shoulder, his big hand on her face. “Do you have any idea how scared I was when Darren had you? The thought of him hurting you, that I might never see you again . . . it killed me, Evangeline. Sweetheart, yes, I care about you. But after all we’ve been through, after last night, I hope you know it’s a hell of a lot more than that.”
She leaned into his warm hand. “It’s a lot more for me, too. More than I expected. More than I thought possible.”
His mouth crushed hers in an urgent kiss that had them both lost in each other until the quick beep of a car horn jolted her back to reality.
She kissed Chris one last time, then pressed her hands on his chest and sat back up. “That’s Joey. I have to go.”
“Now? Send him to the ranch, I’ll drive you there later.”
“There’s a lot of extra work to be done with all the displaced animals. They need my help.”
“They need you to fix the ranch and settle their arguments and take the blame.”
She frowned, not understanding where this anger came from all of a sudden. “That’s not fair.”
“It’s the truth. What have they done to help you since you’ve been home?”
She didn’t have an answer.
He reached for her, sweeping his hand up her arm and back to her face. His warmth, so familiar and welcome, seeped into her. “I know you love them, sweetheart, but you give and give and give. All I’m saying is that at some point you have to love you more. Otherwise, what good are you to them if you’ve got nothing left to give? I know the case took up a lot of your time. But it’s over. I thought you’d focus on your business. On me. On us. Instead, you spend all your time working on the ranch and volunteering for the evacuees. It’s noble and generous, but you’ve barely eaten or slept in days. We finally have some time together and you’re rushing out at not even the crack of dawn.
“Have you even processed the fact that you’re out of prison, free to d
o what you want to do?”
No. She hadn’t had the time to do anything but what needed to be done in the moment. And her business had gotten off to a good start, but she’d had to delay working on the requests coming in to her website because the ranch was overrun and undermanned and the community needed help and she felt partially responsible for the fire because she’d been a part of Darren and Tom starting it.
If she hadn’t gone with Darren like Chris told her never to do, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe all those families and ranchers wouldn’t have lost their homes and businesses.
Chris pressed his hand to her face. “Stop taking responsibility for what other people did and trying to fix it. It’s okay to focus on you and what you need.”
Joey knocked on the front door at the same time her phone dinged with a text. Probably from him.
Frustration lighting his green eyes, Chris fell back on the bed and stared up at her. “You can’t help yourself, can you? Something needs doing, you’ve got to be the one to do it.”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not. I want more for you. I want you to be happy. I want to see you smile and laugh more. I want you to stay because you want to and nothing else is more important than that.”
“I want to stay. I do.” She meant it.
“But you can’t stand to leave someone else to do the work. I get it, sweetheart. I admire it. If I didn’t have to be in the office for my formal interview about the shooting, I’d go with you just so I could spend more time with you.”
She gripped his arm. “Do you think you’ll get into some kind of trouble?”
“I’ve been assured by my boss and lawyer that this is just a formality. I followed protocol and training.”
She narrowed her gaze and studied him. “How come I didn’t know you had a lawyer?”
“You’ve been kind of hard to get ahold of lately.”
She pressed her lips together, dismayed and feeling the pressure to reassure him and get outside to her waiting brother. She planted her hands on either side of his head and stared down at him. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix this.”
He shook his head. “We’re good, sweetheart. I’m just greedy and want you all to myself.”
“Does it help to know that I feel the same way about you?”
“I’d say yes, except you’re leaving me alone in bed.”
She chuckled. “I’m sorry about that, too. And disappointed.”
He leaned up and kissed her, letting her off the hook. “On your way out, you’ll see the spare key hanging in the entry on a red key chain. If you’re inclined to take it . . . well, I hope you’ll use it.”
She narrowed her eyes and couldn’t help teasing him. “Lieutenant, are you giving the key to your house to an ex-con?”
“You stole my heart. You can have the rest of everything I’ve got if you want it.”
She cocked one eyebrow. “I had the rest of you last night.” Yeah, she loved that sexy smile he gave her. She kissed him one last time, knowing that he put everything he could into it to change her mind about leaving.
But in the end, he released her and gave her a tilted smile.
She stood and walked out, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll definitely be back for more.”
In the entry, she plucked the spare key off the hook by the door, grabbed her purse, and left the man who held her heart.
She slid into the passenger seat of Joey’s truck and stared back at the house, then turned to her smirking brother.
“Never thought I’d pick up my baby sister at a cop’s house.”
“I never thought I’d fall in love with the cop I once thought hated me.”
Joey nearly snapped his neck looking at her. “Seriously?”
“As a heart attack.” She rubbed her hand over her chest, her heart hammering with excitement. She’d actually said those words out loud. Okay, to her brother, but still, they were out there.
Such a huge thing for her and her life.
Too big to hold inside anymore.
The desire to turn around and go back to Chris nearly overtook her good sense. And yet, she wanted to throw sense out the window.
“I’m happy for you, sis. You deserve someone good in your life. He looks out for you. You need that because you’re always too busy looking out for everyone else.”
That was very nearly what Chris said to her this morning. Maybe he was right and she needed to love herself more so she didn’t always feel like everyone else got what they wanted from her while she was always left wanting.
Maybe that wasn’t fair. Maybe it was selfish. But damnit, sometimes she needed someone to see what she needed and give it to her.
Like Chris showing up last night with dinner. Something simple, but it meant so much to her.
“Who’s looking out for you these days, Joey? I haven’t seen the brunette since Dad’s funeral.”
“That was a passing thing.”
“Maybe you should stop spinning in circles in the revolving door where women come and go but you’re still stuck in one place. You might take a chance on what’s outside that little world and step out with one of them and see what happens.”
Joey shifted uncomfortably in his seat, sighed, then glanced at her. “There’s this woman. She’s different. Not like the others. She’s quiet. Shy. But I’ve caught her looking at me when I’m looking at her.”
“Sounds good so far. Why haven’t you asked her out?”
Joey studied the road ahead like he expected asteroids to land in their path.
“If you don’t ask, you’ll never know if she’s interested. Why pass up an opportunity when a simple question could get you what you want?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe you don’t like her enough to ask. I mean, if you’ll forget her as soon as the next woman comes along and flirts with you, then why subject yourself to possible rejection? Or you’re afraid she’ll say yes and won’t live up to your expectations.”
“I told you, she’s great.” The force behind those words told her how much he meant it. And that he really was into this mysterious woman.
Still, she couldn’t help nudging him a bit more. “I guess she’ll be great for someone else who snatches her up because you didn’t ask her out.” As manipulations went, that was too easy. What guy didn’t like a challenge or a dare?
Joey turned into the ranch drive and practically slammed on the brakes when he parked. In a huff, he shut off the engine and leapt out.
“My work here is done.” She smiled at his back. She gave him less than an hour to either call the woman or set his mind to hunting her down and asking for a date.
With Joey set on the path for what he wanted, she got out of the truck and stopped short.
Damnit, she’d done it again. Solved someone else’s problem and left hers on the back burner. Not ten minutes ago she admitted to herself and her brother that she loved Chris. She wanted a life with him. At the very least, she wanted to date him and get to know him better, and spend a lot more time with him.
All her time with him.
But here she was showing up at the crack of dawn to help her family and the displaced ranchers with their animals, leaving behind a gorgeous, thoughtful man alone in bed.
How stupid was she?
He understood she had things to do and people counting on her, but how long before those things chipped away at their relationship?
As fragile and new as this connection was, she bet it wouldn’t take long.
He wanted her to make herself a priority. He wanted to count more than everyone else.
Well, she needed to make the two of them a priority if she had any hope of keeping him. Because she didn’t want to drive him away, she wanted to pull him closer.
And to do that, she needed to finish a few things and focus on her life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chris: Thanks for making the coffee
Chris: Wish we got to drink it together
Chri
s: In bed
Chris: You took the key ☺
Chris: Where are you?
Chris: Miss you
Evangeline read the messages four hours after Chris sent them. Guilt and regret filled her heart to the point where it ached with every beat.
Evangeline: Miss you too
Evangeline: I’m finishing other people’s business so I can focus on mine
Evangeline: And you
Her phone dinged with a text before she had the chance to stuff her phone back in her purse.
Chris: Sounds good to me
Chris: Come to my place again tonight
She wanted to say yes, but had no idea how her meetings would go and what the rest of her day would bring.
Chris: Doesn’t matter what time use YOUR key
The guilt and regret in her heart melted away as his words displaced those negative feelings with her sheer happiness that he wanted to see her that badly and wanted her to know that the spare key was now hers.
Evangeline: See you as soon as I can
Chris: Make my day
The last time he spoke of her making his day was about whether he’d get a chance to kiss her. Well, she had a lot more she’d like to do to him. Some of which they had done last night. She could think of a lot more stuff she’d like to explore with him.
“Evangeline, you made it.” Renee stood beside Scott in the middle of the vineyard Scott had directed her to in their earlier emails, when she requested they finalize the land deal.
Evangeline hugged Renee, who held on to her. “Thank you for what you did to stop Darren. I heard what you went through. It’s terrible. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Evangeline leaned back and held Renee’s shoulders. “I just wish we’d stopped him before Tom set the fire.” The acrid smell of smoke hung in the air.
They all looked over to the plume still rising from the hills.
“So much loss and destruction. I heard they’re facing serious charges for arson and hurting those officers.” Scott pulled Renee in to his side. She settled into him like it was the most natural thing to do. Because it was, for them. They loved each other. Supported each other. Worked together in business and life.
The Me I Used to Be Page 26
