by Ali Parker
Luke was a smart man. Even if he hadn’t told me, last night should have alerted me to what he was going to do. He wanted me to tell him that I loved him and that I would be the queen he needed at his side.
Stupidly, I rejected him on the eve of the most important day of his life. He’d already had a pretty shitty day with the funeral, and I had turned him down.
I leaned against the stone railing, peering down at the palace grounds. While I doubted Qatar ever had a Western queen, Luke had trusted me enough to offer the position. He pushed past tradition and went for what he wanted. That was me.
I blew out a breath. He chose me. He trusted me. And I went and broke his heart because I couldn’t utter the words that were deep in my own heart.
Whirling around, I started down the hallway again. I knew what I had to do. There wasn’t anything in Dallas other than a job with a boss who didn’t appreciate me. I could bring Matt to the palace as much as I wanted, but other than that, I wasn’t losing much.
Luke’s admission made me realize that if I let go of my fears, I could have a chance at an amazing life, full of adventure with the kindest and sexiest man I’d ever known.
A sour taste filled my mouth. How could I have ever thought that I couldn’t do this? With Luke by my side, he would never let me fall. And it wasn’t as if he could leave me if I made a mistake. Marriage to these people was forever. I would be with Luke forever. It was everything I wanted and more. Luke was willing to turn his back against tradition for me; I could change for him. I would do it in a heartbeat as long as I got to fall asleep and wake up with that man for the rest of my life.
I loved him, dammit. And I would scream it from the roof of the palace if he wanted me to.
With an apology on the tip of my tongue, I pushed open the door to Luke’s chambers.
The moment I stepped through the door, the lump on the mattress stirred.
I closed the door, unable to hide the big grin on my face. Walking over to the bed, I crawled on top of it as Luke’s head peeked out from under the covers.
Before I could touch him, he jumped out of bed and turned to face me.
I sat on my knees, propping myself up for what I was about to do. The ties of my robe came undone and exposed my bra and panties underneath. I imagined me telling him I loved him and then us making love to mark this special day.
“I need to tell you something,” I said.
Luke’s jaw clenched. “Me first.” He cracked his knuckles, something I’d never seen him do before. His mouth was set in a hard line, and his shoulders nearly reached his ears. His chin lifted as if he were about to speak a royal decree.
I couldn’t wait. I needed to tell him. “About last night—”
“Sophia, please,” he interrupted.
I licked my lips and tilted my head to the side. What was wrong with him? Was he still upset about last night? I wanted to push him, to ask him what was going on, but the coldness in his eyes made me keep my mouth shut.
“Things are changing for the both of us,” he said. “I don’t want to be the one to change your life so dramatically. From the beginning, we were doomed. I don’t even know why I bothered to keep this ruse going.”
“Ruse?” I asked. “You said you loved me.”
“I did say that,” he said, staring at the floor. “I made a mistake. I got caught up with all of this. And I was emotional last night. The reality is that we had fun together, and I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for my family and me, but it’s time for you to go home.”
“Go home?” I repeated.
“Yes,” he said, finally meeting my eyes. Any emotion inside of his body had disappeared, replaced by a hardened man.
I shook my head. “No. You don’t mean any of that. I hurt you—”
He sneered. “You didn’t hurt me.”
I tried to swallow, but my throat was so tight that I could barely breathe. “Luke, do you honestly feel this way?” He wanted us both to be honest with each other. If he was hurt, I could fix that in a minute.
He didn’t hesitate for a second before he said, “Yes.”
The word had enough strength to sock me in the gut. I got a glimpse of the man that I’d first met: cold and distant. Now, in addition to that, he was heartless. Whatever he’d put in his bathtub had transformed him into a person that I barely recognized.
“You can go back to the States with this story,” he said.
I shook my head. “What story?”
“Sophia, you’re more astute than that.”
I wasn’t going to allow him to put me down after breaking my heart. As if he sensed that, he said, “I’ll have the jet ready to take you back to England. Then you are on your own. Safe travels and good luck.”
He pulled on a pair of pants—the ones he’d worn all day yesterday—and left the room.
The sound of the door closing was a final sound, mimicking the cracks in my heart widening as Luke distanced himself from me.
I was such an asshole. I should have told him how I felt when he opened up to me. Now, we were finished. I had lost my chance, and I had never felt so awful in my entire life.
23
Luke
Saying goodbye to Sophia wasn’t going to heal the ache in my heart. I stood in Father’s office, watching her roll her suitcase out of the palace and out of my life for good. It was the hardest decision of my life. I knew that if I went out there, I would pull her into my arms, kiss her, and tell her it was all a mistake.
But I couldn’t. With Father gone, I had to step up in his place. Losing Sophia and my happiness was my sacrifice for my family. I’d spent too many years denying my place in the kingdom. Too bad Sophia couldn’t have wormed her way into my life sooner. We would have had more time. We could have built a relationship, and she would have had the space in her heart to love me. At that point, we could have made it work.
Her admission last night was my deciding factor. I couldn’t be with her if she was uncertain about our fate together. I didn’t blame her at all, but the timing was off for us.
Sophia turned so quickly that I could have sworn I’d said her name aloud.
Instead, Abir dashed in her direction like a dark blur. They spoke to each other. I leaned closer to the window as if there was some chance that I could hear them.
Abir wrapped his arms around Sophia, and she embraced him in return.
The last time I touched Sophia was when I returned to bed the night before. She had fallen asleep, being just as exhausted as I was. I didn’t think she felt me holding her hand and brushing her hair from her face. I wanted a clear mental image of her to carry me through while I healed from our breakup.
I never intended for things to end that quickly, but I couldn’t allow Sophia to say something that would change my mind. She’d returned to the room in my robe, looking as amazing as ever. Her eyes were clear, and I could almost hear her apologizing and telling me that she loved me and wanted to be my queen.
While I knew it was a longshot, if she did say it, then I wouldn’t be able to turn her down. If she’d given me what I wanted, I wouldn’t have allowed her out of my sight.
But I had to let her go. She had a life back in the States, and I wasn’t going to force her into a situation where she couldn’t refuse me. What would happen after several years when she regretted her quick decision to stay? Would she despise me for forcing her into a life she never wanted because we were in the honeymoon stage of our relationship?
I was about to step into a new life, and I had to navigate that first and foremost. Maybe it was for the best that my marriage would be arranged. I could blame the situation for not wanting to get close to whoever was chosen for me while I mourned my relationship with Sophia.
Sophia would be fine. She could go off and get her promotion, marry whomever she wanted, and create her own path. Being with me would stifle her. I was sure of that. Or at least, it was what I continued to tell myself.
Abir backed away from the car as Sop
hia got inside. Both of us watched her drive farther away from the palace and out of the main gate.
Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Abir stared up at me, his mouth twisted with anger.
I backed away from the window and headed over to Father’s desk. It was incredibly hard to breathe, but I blamed that on losing Father. If I had to admit to myself that it was solely because of Sophia, then I would be a wreck and unable to do what I was about to do.
A few minutes later, the door burst open, and Abir stormed inside.
“What did you do?” Abir spat at me.
I ground my teeth together, forcing a straight face. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t be daft, Luke,” Abir said. “You forced Sophia to go home. Why? You two love each other.”
“It wasn’t going to work out,” I said, which was the truth. Sophia didn’t want to be queen, so there was no future for us. I wished Abir knew what I was doing for him. He wouldn’t dare speak to me in such a way if he knew. But that was the easy way out. I would rather him think that I sent her away because I didn’t love her than the alternative.
“She wouldn’t tell me anything,” Abir said. “She just left.”
“It’s for the best.”
“Is it?” Abir asked. “I spoke to her this morning, and she couldn’t have seemed happier. Like, less than two hours ago. I don’t understand.”
I rounded Father’s desk, glancing out the window. Had she told Abir everything? I wondered if she’d said something that would lessen the effect of what I’d done. I wanted Abir to think that I wasn’t in love with her. If he knew I felt the opposite, then he would never let me get over her.
“You’ll understand when you’re older,” I said. “Sometimes responsibility is more important.”
“Than love?” Abir asked.
I nodded. Little did he know that it was my love for him that forced me into this position. If he had my personality, then he would be getting ready to become king, and Sophia and I would be just fine.
A part of being king was shouldering responsibility. I would rather Abir be upset with me for a little while than make him feel guilty for the rest of his life.
I had enough life experience outside of the palace for a lifetime. I would take Sophia’s memory with me everywhere, knowing that she would be happy in the States, far away from the prestige of the palace.
“As I said, you’ll understand someday.” I wanted the conversation to end. With every second that Abir argued with me, the knife twisted a little farther into my heart. This was going to be much worse than when Sophia left the first time. I had my closure, but I also had her broken heart on my mind as well.
At least I’d have enough new duties to keep me busy for a while.
Mother knocked on the door, and Abir and I turned to face her.
Her hands were clasped in front of her, and her face was almost fully concealed by her headscarf. I could’ve sworn I saw a hint of a smile on her lips. No doubt, she had already figured out what happened between Sophia and me.
That fact was confirmed when she said, “You did the right thing, son.”
Abir snorted and left the room. Mother glanced over her shoulder at him, then turned back to me.
“I don’t need a lecture, Mother,” I said, turning to the windows. While I knew life was short and all that, I had no time for hearing how she had been right about Sophia. I wasn’t ready to go into the details of our final encounter. I doubted I ever would. It would be one of the only scars in my life, other than my parents’ deaths. It would forever be a part of me and offer a place and time of reflection, but that was it.
“I’m not lecturing you, Luke,” she said. “I’m glad you came to your senses. Today is a big day, and you don’t need any distractions.”
I curled my lip. Sophia was never a distraction. I thought more clearly with her by my side. Why didn’t anyone see that? Did they think I was that cold of a person to break our hearts for no reason? Abir and Mother didn’t know me at all.
Though part of that was my fault. I had abandoned them for years while I lived in England. Abir was a kid when I left, and I still saw him that way. This was an opportunity to get to know them again. Maybe someday I would be able to be honest with them about Sophia. Perhaps I wouldn’t tell them everything, but enough for them to know that I wasn’t as heartless as I seemed.
That persona was something the kingdom needed. I understood why Father acted in the way he did at times. He was unable to separate his personal and professional lives. He had to appear strong for his people and our enemies.
I would rule differently. I wouldn’t be the workaholic that I was in England. It had gotten me nowhere in life. If I could have one takeaway from my short relationship with Sophia, it was that I could be two people. I could work hard and be strong, while opening up to those who mattered most in my life. If I was that way with Father, maybe I wouldn’t have so much regret inside of me after he died.
“You don’t have a lot of time left,” Mother said, coming up next to me.
I stared out at the palace grounds, feeling more like a fraud than a king. But I was good at pretending. And this performance would literally be my crowning achievement.
“I need to get ready,” I said to Mother and left her in Father’s office. It soon would be mine, but I wasn’t sure if I’d ever think of it any other way.
* * *
Inside my chambers, there was nothing left of Sophia in plain sight. Inside the armoire was another story. Every item that she’d brought from England that I had bought her was neatly arranged on hangers. The movement from opening the doors made the clothing sway as if her spirit was inside of them.
Since I was alone, I didn’t hide my emotions anymore. I touched the soft fabric, pinching each item between my fingers. I brought the sleeve of the dress she wore the night before to my face and inhaled. It still smelled like her. The memory of her hand in mine, her kisses on my lips, were so vivid, like she had never left at all.
A sharp rap on my door forced me to jump away from the clothes. It wasn’t customary for a servant to enter one’s chambers without asking, but I didn’t want to risk anyone knowing how much I missed Sophia.
“What is it?” I barked.
“The council is meeting now,” one of the servants said through the door.
I gritted my teeth. “I’ll be there shortly.”
I slammed the doors of the armoire shut a little too forcefully and headed into the bathroom.
I walked through to my wardrobe and picked out one of the more traditional pieces. If I was going to show the council who was king, I had to look the part.
After changing, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the man that Father saw. I was the king, and now I had to prove it.
Walking into the bathroom again, I stopped at the sink. Sweat clung to my brow, and my face was paler than ever. I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face before staring at myself in the mirror. Droplets fell from my jaw, plopping into the sink.
There wasn’t much time to waste, but I looked inside myself and wondered if this was what Father really wanted. He wanted me to be happy, but being king wouldn’t make me happy. Did he know that, or was he trying to push me into his version of a son? He’d done so much for me through the course of my life that refusing to become king would dishonor him, even in death.
Just like last night, I knew what I had to do. I took Father’s memory and Sophia’s strength with me on the way to declare my fate.
* * *
Standing in front of the council was a lot different than any other time. Usually, it was Father who stood there while I watched. I kept my face impassive as they asked me the customary question about why I graced them with my presence.
Stepping forward, the room tilted slightly, but I didn’t falter. I looked each of them in the eyes and then told them that I would accept the position as the new king.
* * *
To be continued�
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Ali Parker is a USA Today Best Selling contemporary and new adult romance writer with more than a hundred and thirty books behind her. She loves coffee, watching a great movie and hanging out with her hubs. By hanging out, she means making out. Hanging out is for those little creepy elves at Christmas. No tight green stockings for her.
She’s an entrepreneur at heart and loves coming up with more ideas than any one person should be allowed to access. She lives in Texas with her hubs and three kiddos and looks forward to traveling the world in a few years. Writing under eleven pen names keeps her busy and allows her to explore all genres and types of writing.
If you enjoyed her writing style, please check out her other pen names at the pen names link below!
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