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Teth was dead tired. That was all there was to it. She could not remember the last time she had been so exhausted. Her body was tired, muscles stiff and sore. Her mind was tired, thoughts hazy and distant. And her spirit was tired, downhearted and snappish. The first two she could blame on the Dasen, but the last was her own fault entirely, and that only made it worse.
A misty rain fell, adding to her miseries. It had been cool and cloudy all day with the rain coming and going, but never growing above a mist. It was just enough to keep them damp, but not enough to force them to find shelter, so they trudged on, cold and miserable.
They walked slowly despite the relative ease of the terrain. The forest had become entirely deciduous with big widely spaced trunks surrounded by tall grass. There were no trails and no animals to be seen, but they had little need for either. Though they were hungry, Teth did not bother to string her bow – she did not want to risk the shaft or string in the damp weather – so they made due with berries, wild onions, and a few plums that Dasen, of all people, had found.
Ironically, given the rain, water was still a problem. They had found a stream hours ago, but they had nothing to carry the water, and there had been no other obvious sources since. Teth opened her mouth hoping to catch enough tiny droplets to quench her thirst, but the mist did little more than wet her tongue. She looked toward the leaves all around them and the tiny pools of water that had collected in them. The only thing that kept her from drinking those pools was Dasen’s likely reaction. She was not sure why she cared, but she didn’t have the will or energy to put up with his shock and derision. Even if he didn’t say anything, even if he copied her, she knew what he would be thinking, that he was joined to a freak.
He’ll always think that, Teth thought in her gloom and spared a look back at him. His thin arms crossed his long chest, hugging himself for warmth. Water glistened in tiny drops on the patchy hair of his chest and arms. His long hair dripped larger beads that ran down to soak into his bandages. He watched the trees to the side but did not seem to see them.
Teth had snapped at him enough times over the course of the day that he was probably afraid to even look at her. He probably missed the forest masters more than ever now that he was back in the clutches of his peevish wife. It was those thoughts that had dominated Teth’s mood throughout the day. But she knew it didn’t have to be that way. That morning, he had said he was happy to see her. He had looked at her with real fondness, had seemed on the verge of accepting her. Until her stupid temper had ruined it all. Milne had always said that it would be the end of her, and it had certainly been the end of any hope she had of bringing Dasen to her side.
She had been legitimately mad at him but mostly because he had made her so worried about losing him. First, she thought she’d lose him to the bastard forest masters, then to the creatures, and finally to death. She had barely slept for honest worry that he was dying. It appeared those fears had been foolish, but in the dark, she had not been able to tell how bad his injuries were, and the way he had acted after the camp, she had thought that the creature’s claws might have contained another strange poison. He had run faster and longer than she could ever remember seeing from any man. He had run as if he would never grow tired, as if he were running on a flat road, as if he were the district champion. And at the pace he was running, he would have been the district champion – she knew because she was the district champion.
She had only been able to catch him because he slowed, but once he had stopped, his body had revolted against the way he had treated it. Even after he had lost consciousness, he had continued to cough and retch. His heart had been pounding so that she could barely tell one beat from the next, and his legs had twitched for a full hour after he had stopped. That, coupled with the gashes along his back and what appeared to be blood everywhere, had left her in a panic.
He said something about a revelation, but she really didn’t want to know. They had seen so many strange things that she did not want to grapple with any more unanswerable questions. She did not want to think about the creatures, the invaders, or how Dasen could suddenly sprint five miles through the forest. She just wanted to get away from the madness, to find something, anything normal.
Then he woke up and was fine. Not only fine, smiling. And he said he was happy to see her. In that moment, she had thought that everything would be alright, that they could pick-up where they left off. Then he brought up the Order-cursed forest masters. Before they showed up, she had been sure that he was on the verge of understanding, of seeing who she was and why she couldn’t be the wife his books said she should be. On the verge, but not close enough to survive the forest masters. With them around, she would go back to being a problem to fix rather than a person to love. It would be the Muldon’s all over again. So she had refused to be taken by them, refused to put herself back into that situation where her gender rather than her abilities would define what she could and could not do. She had avoided capture easily enough, but indecision had gnawed at her – should she rescue Dasen, should she leave, should she join him?
Until the creatures came and gave her another chance. She saw now that it had been an opportunity, that she should have taken it. But indecision had made her cautious. Then Dasen had started defending the bastard forest masters, and her temper had snapped. She had ripped the blanket from his back in the most cruel possible way, had derided him, and insulted him. And all because of something a couple of rouge scouts did almost five years ago. Because of something, Dasen did not even know about. Yet it had reared its ugly head, and she had taken it out on him, had ruined everything.
Now she was so mad at herself, so tired of everything, so frustrated that she could only drive him farther away. She had ruined it, and now it was too late. That just left her to decide what to do when they reached the end of the forest.
“So how much longer are we going today?” Dasen asked. “I haven’t seen any sign of creatures. I think we’re probably safe, and I’d love to get out of this rain.” He tried to be casual, friendly even, but the very sound of his voice put Teth on edge.
“What, do you see a house around here somewhere? Because barring that, we’re going to be wet either way.” Teth’s response was short, biting.
Dasen sighed. “Do you have any idea where we are?” Obviously, he didn’t get the hint.
"Of course I know where we are,” Teth nearly yelled. “Do you think I've been leading us in circles or something?" In truth she had no idea where they were. She hadn’t in days. She also knew that wasn’t what he had meant, but she was too tired to control her dark mood, could only spew vitriol because that was somehow easier.
Dasen let out a huff. “I just meant generally. By the Order, what’s wrong with you today? Every time I say something, you take my head off. Maybe you should have just left me with the forest masters. Even those creatures seem welcome compared to this.”
“Well, next time, I will. In fact, I can leave right now if you’re so anxious to be rid of me.” Teth had turned, was facing him, yelling though he was only a few short feet away. Even as she said the words they cut through her. Wrong, all wrong, she thought but could not stop herself, could not contain her temper once it was engaged.
Her words seemed to catch Dasen unprepared. His head snapped, and he stammered. “That’s . . . that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . . .”
“You better be sorry. Your precious forest masters are gone. I’m all you’ve got. You’ve already shown that you can’t do this on your own, so you better learn to appreciate what you’ve got.”
“By the Order, Teth, why do you have to be like this? Why does it always have to be so hard with you? I don’t want the forest masters. I want you.” Dasen stopped and tried to look at her but couldn’t hold up to her hard stare. His eyes fell to the ground, and he continued, uncertain. “I want things back t
o the way they were before the Muldon’s. I was stupid, okay. I was wrong. I realize that now. Sitting in the forest master’s camp, the only thing I could think about was you. All I could do was worry that you had left me, and it was terrible.” He took a deep breath but did not bring his eyes from the ground, did not see her cold façade melting. “I also realized what you’ve been trying to tell me all along. I understand that this is who you are. I see that you can no more become a typical wife than I can become a woodsman. And for me to expect otherwise was cruel. You deserve better. I know that, but I hope you can forgive me, that you will give me another chance. I can’t promise that it will always go smoothly, but I promise I’ll try.”
“You stupid boy,” Teth sighed. She closed the short distance between them, cupped Dasen’s chin in her hand, brought his eyes to hers, and kissed him. When their mouths parted she held his face in her hands, pressed her head to his then knocked their foreheads together, “Stupid, stupid, stupid, boy,” she whispered as their heads met. “That’s all I want. That’s all it’s ever been about. Why couldn’t you just say it sooner?”
Dasen drew a long breath, brought his arms around her and pulled her close. He was cold. She could feel the chill even through her shirt. “I’m just slow, I guess.”
“That’s an understatement,” Teth laughed. “Maybe next time I’ll write it down in a book.”
Dasen laughed, held her close. “I think a book is what got me all confused in the first place. I think I need fewer books and more time in the real world.”
“Hmmm. Sounds good to me. Besides books can’t do this.” Teth kissed him again. They stood there for a long time, alone in the middle of the forest, rain dripping from their freezing bodies, warming each other, getting more familiar with each other, more aggressive. Until, breathless, Teth pulled herself away. “We should find some shelter,” she suggested. “Can you walk?”
“Um . . . yeah,” Dasen said, dazed. “I suppose.” He cleared his throat and stepped away, but Teth kept hold of his hand.
“I mean do you need a minute?” Teth looked down to make her point.
Dasen blushed, red spreading from his face all the way to his shoulder and down his naked chest. “I think I’ll manage. It’s your fault, you know.”
“I know,” Teth smiled mischievously. “I’ll consider it a compliment.”
“So, am I forgiven?”
Teth’s smile grew. She started walking again, dragging him along by his hand, fingers intertwined. “For now, but I’m sure you’ll foul it up soon enough.”
“Speaking of which, when we get back to the city, we need to talk about your clothes.”
She cast him a mock scowl. “Come on. We have to get to your precious city before you can worry about that.”
From Across the Clouded Range Page 85
