by Alex Barclay
‘Daryl, hi, it’s Ren Bryce again. I’m sorry we got disconnected.’
‘Hello, Ren. How are you doing?’
‘Shell-shocked. What’s going on, Daryl? You know Beau had nothing to do with this.’
Silence. ‘I’d love to agree with you,’ said Daryl.
‘But I’m at a loss as to how you don’t.’
‘Because of the tip-off,’ said Daryl. ‘Because of the fact that Beau knew and was trusted by Louis—’
‘OK, let’s scratch that last one for a start: the whole town knew Louis. And he was a trusting type of kid. Where did the tip come from? What was it exactly?’
‘Oh, come on, Ren. You’re an agent with the FBI. You wouldn’t tell a suspect’s family member what you got.’
‘That depends. If it were you, Daryl…Come on, this is nuts. Please take a look at this tip and the nature of it, where it came from and what its reliability is. Please, Daryl.’
Stroud’s tone changed. ‘That’s not just an FBI way of handling things, you know. Here in the sticks we think that might be a good idea too. That is, when we’re not sitting on our hoods, flirting with old ladies outside the diner.’
‘I didn’t mean anything by that,’ said Ren. ‘Here’s how it is – I’m not worried, because I know Beau is innocent. But I am desperately worried that it will be pinned on him anyway. It seems so sudden and random.’
‘I won’t treat this any differently than any other investigation.’
That is not reassuring. ‘I wouldn’t expect you to. Just please remember Beau and who he was.’
‘I really am so sorry for your loss.’
‘You know something?’ said Ren. ‘It’s been twenty-four years and those words are still welcome. They still help. So, thanks. But please, please do everything you can. Beau’s death was devastating enough. The pain is so…I…’
She stopped.
‘Ren? Are you still there? Ren?’ Daryl hesitated. ‘Please don’t cry.’
There was another pause before Ren answered. ‘Thank you. I gotta go.’
Sinking into the chair, she stared at the ceiling, holding her head back to keep the tears from falling. It was a few minutes before she was ready to dial Information for a number she knew she shouldn’t call, but would regret if she didn’t.
She felt sick as she listened to the pulsing dial tone.
‘Is this Ricky Parry?’
‘Yes.’
‘Ricky, it’s Ren Bryce.
Silence. ‘Oh. Hi. I…should we be talking?’
‘I really think we should,’ said Ren. ‘What is going on, Ricky?’
‘Someone came forward with information.’
‘Who? And what was this information?’
‘Don’t you know? Like, with your FBI contacts—’
‘They’re not going to tell me,’ said Ren, ‘But I hope you can. We all know that Beau didn’t have anything to do with this. Your whole family knows that. Our families are friends, Ricky. I’m in shock here. Why did none of you tell the police that this information was bullshit? What about your mom?’
‘Mom has cancer,’ said Ricky. ‘She’s very ill. Not that she’s ever really been well since…then. And losing Dad last year was…terrible…’
‘I know,’ said Ren. ‘I understand that. We were all there at the funeral.’ My whole family was there to support you.
‘I know…’ said Ricky.
‘Ricky, this new information is false. I’m concerned that you’re latching on to—’
‘Oh, come on!’ Ricky spat the words. ‘Why would Beau kill himself if he was so innocent? There has to be a reason. I’m betting the guilt ate him up and he couldn’t take it any more. He checked out because he could not live with the knowledge of what he did to Louis.’
Silence. When Ren spoke her voice was quiet. ‘I…I am devastated that you think that. You had all been so good to us when Beau died.’ She paused. ‘I’m so sorry about your mom. I hope she gets better.’
I know how hard it is to lose someone.
Ren stood up and kicked the chair halfway across the conference room. Then she walked over, picked it up and sat down on it. She scrolled through her contacts to Helen Wheeler’s number. When she dialed, it went straight to message minder.
‘Helen, hi, it’s Ren. Could you give me a call, please, whenever you get a chance? I’d really like to talk…nothing urgent…just…something’s come up. But if you’re busy, don’t worry about it. Thanks so much. Bye.’
I am about to descend into my own private hell and it’s ‘nothing urgent’. What a loser.
Ren made coffee and went back to her desk. Cliff and Robbie were both on the phone. She sat and listened to them and it calmed her. This was her life, this was normal, these were good people. For several minutes, she just sat and drank her coffee.
Cliff and Robbie had a gift for getting people to talk to them, but their styles were completely different. Robbie would sound eager and excited by any piece of information he was given, making the person feel that they could possibly be the key to solving an entire investigation. Robbie played the role of Robbie. Cliff had an alter ego. He made people feel like he was their buddy, they could tell him anything and nothing would surprise him, that he’d been around the block and, really, the world’s a piece of shit and we’re all just grinding along. He called his colleagues ‘these people’. These people need to know if you’ve seen your bank-robber husband any time recently…as if it was all out of his hands and Cliff had as little interest in the whole thing as the person on the other end of the phone.
Ren glanced over at Colin frowning at his screen, the phone clenched to his ear. ‘You will send me this – I need these financials – What you’re gonna do is…’
Colin managed to be an even bigger asshole than he was with her.
12
Ren picked up the phone to do something – anything. She was beginning to get side-eyes from the others.
‘Let’s hear what Catherine Sarvas has to say about Diaz,’ said Ren to no one.
She dialed the number. ‘Catherine, it’s Ren Bryce. I have some news for you – Erubiel Diaz’s body has been found.’
Catherine gasped. ‘Oh, Lord. Where?’
‘In Nogales, Mexico. He was decapitated and his body was burned.’
Catherine paused. ‘That’s shocking. But…I’m relieved.’
‘This is not going to be easy, but I’d like to explore the possibility that your attack was linked to the death of your husband…’
Silence. ‘Do you think so?’
‘I don’t have any evidence,’ said Ren, ‘but your family was targeted twice in the space of two weeks and…do you have any links to Mexico? Have you vacationed there?’
‘No. The last time I was in Mexico was twenty years ago.’
‘And what about your husband?’
‘No,’ said Catherine. ‘And when he traveled for business, it was just within Texas.’
‘What about your sons? Did they have any reason to go to Mexico – maybe with friends’ families, field trips from school…?’
‘No. They always vacationed with us. Luke, our seventeen-year-old, went on his first solo trip at spring break, but that was to San Diego State to visit his college. He’s…was…starting at San Diego State. He’s going to study law.’ Her voice cracked.
‘So he went alone?’
‘No, I meant he went without the family, but he wasn’t alone – he went with three friends. They were checking out the facilities, the libraries…probably a few of the girls.’
‘No doubt,’ said Ren. ‘Can I get his friends’ names from you?’
‘Sure…but I don’t see how…’
‘Well, it won’t do any harm. Look, Catherine, Luke’s missing, and his friends know him best.’
‘OK,’ said Catherine. ‘His friends are…John Reiff, Ben Racono and Mark Bayne. I’ll get you their numbers if you’ll wait on the line.’
Ren sat staring at the boys’ names on the page. Three boys, age
d between seventeen and nineteen, with so much of their lives ahead of them. All Ren could think about was Beau.
‘Guys, I’m taking an early lunch.’ She grabbed her coat. ‘Back in a half-hour – I’m just going to let Misty out in the yard.’
Ren barely remembered the drive home. As soon as she got in the door she went straight to the sofa and sat there, staring at the family photo on the living-room wall. Beau with his gorgeous smile and his long sandy hair and his skinny limbs and his piano fingers. And just his goodness. Ren wanted to stop there. Because she always stopped there. But this time, she broke through the pain barrier and she started to think about the rest: rushing to Beau’s bedroom when she heard her mother scream, her mother’s wild eyes as she turned to her in the doorway, her mother’s arm as she reached out and slammed the bedroom door on her hand, her mother screaming: ‘Orenda, no!’ Every vowel sound was stretched as far as her breath would take it. It was an extraordinary, life-changing scream. Ren’s scream fused with her mother’s, but it was at the shock of being hurt by her. She could not understand why her mother had slammed the door on her. And it was the searing pain of her crushed hand. Ren remembered looking down at the tips of two of her fingers hanging by an almost translucent scrap of skin and pumping blood on to the carpet.
Her mother was screaming for her son. Ren was screaming for her mother. And as she tried the door a second time, her mother screamed again: ‘Orenda, no!’
Ren had run to her parents’ bathroom. She had stood, bawling, at the sink, confused and horrified by her mother. There was no color left in the face looking back at her from the mirror, but all around her seemed to be red. Her hand was throbbing, still pumping out blood.
Why hasn’t Mom come to help me? What did I do? Where’s Beau? Why isn’t he helping? he must have heard me. Where is everyone?
She heard her mother call her again: Orendaaa! Orendaaa! Wrapping her hand in a towel, Ren had run toward her. This time, Beau’s door was open. She was afraid to walk in, as if it was a trap and her mother wanted to hurt her again. But Ren knew there was a reason why the whole world had suddenly turned upside down. She knew something was terribly wrong. Beau was lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. His mother was gripping her dead son by his face, kissing it and sobbing and wiping her tears from it.
‘He’s dead, Orenda. He’s dead. He’s…’
Ren ran to the kitchen, grabbed their Bakelite phone with the eight-foot cord and dialed 911, pacing up and down the length of the hallway as she told the dispatcher about her big brother. As she put the phone down, her mother was screaming for her again. And from that day on, Ren did not want to be called Orenda ever again.
Beau Bryce was dead. He had taken an overdose. He was nineteen years old, handsome, and smart. He was not selfish. He was not unloved. He was clinically depressed. Some people committed suicide and didn’t leave a note: Beau had written a short story, an allegory in which his family were different characters and Beau was the tortured hero on a quest for something that he had never been able to identify, therefore had never been able to find, no matter how much the other characters had tried to help him. He had crossed kingdoms, climbed mountains, searched caves, swum oceans, yet he had finished, hovering at a cliff edge, alone and confused. And he had taken one more step. He had trusted an empty sky more than he had trusted the ground beneath his feet or the beautiful land or the people who lived in it.
Tears streamed down Ren’s face. She knew the journey Beau had taken, she knew that beautiful terrain, she knew and loved the same characters.
And her greatest fear was that one day she too would trust an empty sky more.
13
Somehow, Ren made it back to work. Gary was standing in the bullpen with a grim look on his face.
‘Not good news,’ he said. ‘Looks like the blood Gartman was covered in the night of the convenience store shooting was Natalie Osgood’s. Her body was found last night in a dumpster off Colfax.’
Ren shook her head. ‘That son-of-a-bitch. Her mama’s worst nightmare has come true.’ She let out a breath.
Robbie called her over to his desk. ‘Ren, I spoke with three real estate agents,’ he said, ‘and Gregory Sarvas did talk to them about selling the house. Like, it was more than just chit-chat.’
‘Jesus,’ said Ren. ‘Yet another wife kept in the dark.’
‘Who’s the other one?’
‘I don’t know – insert celebrity name.’ Ren let out a breath. ‘Catherine Sarvas told me that it was a casual conversation about moving – nothing concrete. And Greg goes off and makes formal enquiries? It’s so patronizing. Did he just disregard her all the time?’
‘It probably worked for them…’ said Colin.
‘Oh, please,’ said Ren. ‘He’s dead, she’s raped. That worked real well.’
‘You know what I mean,’ said Colin.
‘I do – keep the little woman in the dark.’
Colin shrugged and turned back to his screen.
‘Do you say this shit on purpose?’ said Ren.
Colin looked up. ‘Some women just want men to take care of everything for them.’
‘There’s a difference between a husband taking the trash out and other bullshit jobs…and not telling you he’s trying to sell your house from under you or, let’s face it, not reporting your rape,’ said Ren. ‘Rape, Colin.’
‘I’m not talking about the rape part.’
‘Oh, well then,’ said Ren. She turned to Robbie. ‘Did Sarvas talk to the real estate people about buying another house in the area?’
‘No,’ said Robbie.
‘Did he mention where he was planning to move to, or when?’
‘No. According to all three real estate agents, Sarvas sounded serious about selling the house. But there were no times, dates, etc.’
‘Could someone be that screwed up that they wouldn’t want to lower house prices in the area by reporting a rape – even if it was their own wife who was the victim?’
Ren shook her head. ‘Ugh.’ She walked out. She didn’t want to hear any more of Colin’s warped world view. The kitchen was empty, so she took a seat at the table.
What is it with some men? Do they get a high from lying to their wives? Do they just not care? Or is it that they’re afraid to face up to the truth?
Again her mind wandered back to Beau and the friends and neighbors who had drifted away from the family after his suicide. They were afraid of suicide, afraid of mental illness, afraid of losing their own mind or watching someone they cared about lose theirs. People looked for someone to blame for Beau’s suicide, because if there was no one to blame, then it could happen to them. People were angry at the Bryces for being guarded about the circumstances, as if – had they had heard all the details of Beau’s suicide – they could stop it from happening to their loved ones. People were afraid to talk to the Bryces about their loss because it would mean confronting someone else’s raw emotions and maybe having to face some raw emotions of their own.
It’s all about fear.
What would it be like for her parents now? They were the only ones who still lived in Catskill. They were good, kind people. And now, in their late seventies, they would be thrown into having to fight to preserve their son’s memory. Even though it was all a terrible mistake, that little idea had been implanted in people’s minds and would be hard to extract; Beau Bryce took his own life because he was guilty.
Work. Go back to something you can control.
Ren took her cup of coffee and returned to the bullpen. She stopped dead in the middle of the room.
‘Hey!’ She pointed at the television. ‘Someone – pump up the volume.’
Colin reached for the remote control.
‘The police are seeking the public’s help in locating missing Denver psychiatrist, Dr Helen Wheeler—’ Helen’s photo in the top right-hand corner of the screen…
‘Oh my God,’ said Ren.
‘What?’ said Cliff.
‘I kno
w her.’
‘Yeah, you’re obviously her best client,’ said Colin.
If you only knew. ‘She’s a friend of mine. I consulted with her on cases a few times, actually. She’s a lovely woman. Shhh.’
‘Dr Wheeler was last seen as she left work four days ago on March eighth. She was due to speak at an event in Florida on March ninth, but she didn’t catch her flight that morning. Dr Wheeler is sixty-two years old, five-foot three, of medium build, with shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes. She was dressed in a full-length dark-gray coat over a pale gray wool pant suit.’
Ren felt her stomach sink. That was what she was wearing the last time I saw her.
Ren dialed Helen’s cell phone as she stood there. It was the only thing she could think of doing. She got voicemail. She didn’t leave a message.
Please be safe, wherever you are.
Two hours later, Ren called Helen’s office and spoke with her secretary. There was no update. Helen had been gone four days, that was all anyone knew.
Ren tried to work, but she was flooded with images of Beau. And worried about her parents. And wishing she could discuss it all with Helen, the one person who always managed to break the cycle. Ren felt a stab of selfishness at wanting Helen to be back to help her.
Helen wouldn’t take off and desert her patients. Helen Wheeler was sane. She was responsible. But then again, everyone thinks the same about me…OK, not everyone. But still…
Ren’s cell phone rang and she recognized the special ring tone for Matt. Work and Matt – the only calls guaranteed to get picked up.
‘Hey,’ he said. ‘What the hell’s going on with the Parrys?’
‘I know. It’s nuts. I called Daryl Stroud – he’s a lieutenant now, can you believe it? – and he’s taking it seriously. Going by the book.’
‘You have to be shitting me.’
‘Nope. I cannot understand all this. It’s insane.’
‘Mom was saying something about cards in Rikers. Some playing card belonging to Louis—’
‘She had it all wrong. They’re cold-case cards, given to inmates to elicit tip-offs – I explained all that to her.’
