by Marie Force
“I’m not tightly wound because of Jasper.”
“Oh. How come, then? Is it the Oscars?”
“No.” After a long moment of silence, he says, “Why can’t you look at me?”
“What?”
“You haven’t looked at me once since we got up.”
I turn my head and deliberately look him dead in the eyes. “Like that?”
“Yeah, just like that.”
“What’s your point?”
“I’m sorry about before.”
“What’re you sorry about?”
“The stuff I did and said… It was too much too soon. I shouldn’t have…”
“Flynn,” I say on a huge exhale of relief, “stop it. I loved everything we did. And if I couldn’t look at you, it’s only because I was embarrassed by how much I loved it.”
He stares at me. “You loved it.”
“I loved it, and you would’ve heard as much if I’d been free to scream my head off. But with your assistant on the other side of a thin door, I felt it necessary to curb my desire to scream.”
His fingers curl into the stiff muscles of his thighs. “You have to tell me what happened to you, Nat. I have to know so I won’t do anything to trigger a flashback.”
I look down at my hands, which are folded in my lap. “I don’t know if I can.”
“I’m so afraid of doing the wrong thing.”
“Nothing you do is wrong, because you love me.”
“I love you more than life itself. I’m obsessed with you. I want to hold you and kiss you and touch you and make you scream, but the thought of doing anything to make you afraid… I’m losing my mind over that, Nat.”
I lean into him, and he puts his arm around me, drawing a low growl from Fluff that makes us laugh.
“At least she’s not biting you anymore.”
“I’ve been going crazy thinking about the things I did and said…”
“I loved it. I want more.”
“Natalie…”
I giggle at the way he says my name, as if he’s barely able to contain himself. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d find a man like him. We’ve known each other a matter of days, and yet I believe, deep in my bones, that he will love me for the rest of our lives. And I will love him just as much for just as long.
“Are you laughing at me?” he asks.
“Maybe a little.”
“Do you know what happens to a naughty girl who laughs in her lover’s face?”
“No,” I say breathlessly, “what happens?”
He leans in to whisper in my ear. “She gets her sweet ass spanked until its red and rosy.”
My mouth goes dry and my hands begin to sweat. “You wouldn’t dare…” But I already know he would, and I’d probably love it as much as I’ve loved everything else we’ve done together.
“Try me.” He kisses me, a soft, sweet caress that belies the intensity of our conversation. “But I’m not laying one finger on you again until I know what happened to you. I can’t handle the fear of scaring you. I have to know, Nat.”
He’s right, and I know it. Just like he doesn’t want me to be afraid, I don’t want that for him either.
“We’ll talk soon.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
He takes hold of my hand, laces his fingers between mine and holds on tight the rest of the way to Malibu.
Hayden’s beach house is nothing like Marlowe Sloane’s, which is somewhat of a disappointment. Whereas hers is a cozy cabana, his is all glass and blond wood and contemporary angles. It has none of the charm that I loved about Marlowe’s place, but who am I to complain about a multimillion-dollar waterfront estate that has been made available to us on a moment’s notice? I look forward to checking out the view in the morning.
“Why don’t you have a place out here?” I ask Flynn as we get ready for bed.
Fluff is making herself right at home, running around checking everything out.
“I did for a while, but I didn’t get out here often enough to justify the cost of it. I sold it to Marlowe.”
“Oh! That was your place? I loved it there.”
“I did, too, but I was hardly ever there. She wanted it, so I sold it to her.”
“That’s a fantastic house.”
“This one,” he says, “not so much?”
“No, it’s great!” The last thing I want him to think is that I’m ungrateful to him or his friends, who have stepped up so completely for me since my life blew up. Despite my rocky start with Hayden, he has proven himself a friend to both of us in the last couple of days.
Flynn laughs at my distress. “It’s not what I would choose either.”
“Thank goodness.”
We share a warm smile.
“Are we setting the alarm to get up for the nomination announcement?” he asks.
“We sure are.”
He sets the alarm on his phone and crawls into bed with me.
“Will you be able to sleep with the nominations coming?”
“Yeah. It’s exciting, but certainly not the most important thing in my life right now.” He gives me an extra squeeze and the next thing I know, the alarm is going off and Flynn is groaning in my ear.
“Come on,” I say, tugging his arm, “let’s go watch you be nominated for an Academy Award.”
“Don’t say it! You’ll jinx me.”
I love his superstitious side. It makes him so incredibly human. Even though he’ll definitely be nominated, he doesn’t take anything for granted.
“I’m starving,” he says.
“I could eat.”
We raid Hayden’s fridge to make a big breakfast and enjoy coffee and mimosas as the sun begins to rise, casting a warm glow over the Pacific. Hayden’s view is spectacular. At five twenty-five, we turn on the TV to watch the nominations, which come rolling in for Camouflage, culminating with a nomination for him as best actor and the movie as best picture.
Our screams of excitement make Fluff bark her head off, but we are too caught up in our celebration to chastise her.
I hug him so tightly and try not to cry all over him. I’m so proud and happy for him, and I love sharing this special moment with him.
Flynn’s phone chirps with a text right before it rings. He puts the phone on speaker and takes the call from Hayden.
“Flynn! Wake up! You’re an Oscar nominee and so am I, and so is Jasper and so is the film! We got the most nominations! Are you listening?”
“I’m awake and I’m listening.” He winks at me, playing along with Hayden as if he doesn’t already know the tally. “Wow, that’s incredible. The most nominations, huh?”
“Twelve! They nominated us for everything—adapted screenplay, makeup, score, cinematography. Fucking A, Flynn! We kicked ass!”
“That’s so cool. I can’t even get my head around it.”
“At long last, my friend. For the rest of our lives, we’re Academy Award nominees and probably winners—”
“Hayden! Stop! Don’t say it.”
“Christ, Flynn, you and your superstitions! Go back to bed. I’m getting bombed.”
“It’s six in the morning, and you have the Critics’ Choice awards tonight.”
“I’ll be sober by then. And I’ll accept for you when you win. Oh—call your parents! They’ll want to know.”
“All right. Thanks for calling—and congratulations to you, too. Camo never would’ve happened without you.”
“Without both of us. Go celebrate.”
I hug him again. “I’m so thrilled for you and so proud!”
“Thanks. Wow. I had no idea it would feel this good.”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—you deserve every award in the world for the work you did in Camouflage.”
“Thanks, sweetheart.”
His phone rings nonstop with calls from his parents, sisters, friends and colleagues. Then his publicist, Liza, calls with requests for interviews that keep him
tied up for the next couple of hours. While he spends most of the morning on the phone, I keep us both in champagne. We’re giddy and more than a little buzzed by the time the phone finally stops ringing around eleven.
He puts his arms around me and holds me tight.
“How you feeling?” I ask.
“It’s surreal. My parents were so excited. I love that.”
“They’re so proud.”
“That’s all that mattered to me for the longest time—making them proud. But now I want you to be, too.”
“I’m so proud I could burst. And so are they.”
He smiles and kisses me. “Thank you for that. Means a lot.” He kisses me again. “Want to hit the beach?”
“Would it be okay if we hit the deck instead of the beach?” Despite the security people who met us at LAX and surround us at the house, I’m not ready to be seen in public quite yet.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” He kisses my forehead. “Come on, let’s go get changed.”
“Flynn?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for bringing me here, for knowing what I need before I need it. For everything.”
“I can’t believe you’re thanking me when I feel like the luckiest bastard who ever lived because I get to spend today and tonight and tomorrow and the next day with you.”
“We’re both lucky.”
He wraps me up in his strong arms. “Yes, we are.”
Chapter 5
We pass a magical, relaxing day at Hayden’s pool. The housekeeper, Connie, serves us a delicious lunch that includes a bottle of ice-cold chardonnay from the Quantum Vineyard in Napa. After she serves our lunch, Flynn tells Connie to take a paid vacation and that Hayden will call her when he needs her to come back to work.
“Thank you so much, Mr. Flynn. You enjoy yourselves.”
“Who is paying for her vacation?” I ask when we are alone. “You or Hayden?”
“Hayden of course,” he says cheekily, making me laugh.
“Does he know that?”
“What he doesn’t know will never hurt him.”
“Any connection between the vineyard and the production company?” I ask after Flynn opens a second bottle. We’re sitting together on a double lounge chair next to the pool, which overlooks the ocean below. Between the stunning scenery and the gorgeous man snuggled up to me, I’m on sensory overload. Fluff is curled up between my feet, enjoying the warm sunshine.
“Yep. We own it.”
“What else does Quantum own?”
“A lot of real estate, most of it in New York and LA, a couple of restaurants, four radio stations, six TV stations. I think that’s everything.”
“Wow. I figured you were all about making movies.”
“For the most part, we are, but we believe in diversification.”
“Your life is fascinating to me, and not because you’re famous. It’s the scope that’s mind-boggling. Right when I think I’ve got the full picture, there’s more.”
A strange look crosses his face, but he quickly erases it with one of his trademark smiles. “We also believe in living life to the fullest.”
“How did the five of you come together to form the company?”
“I’ve worked with Hayden from the beginning. We’ve made six films together and produced five others. Marlowe was in two of our early films and was interested in getting into producing. Jasper, who’s a cinematographer, and Kristian, a producer who came along later, were a good fit for us because we share a similar vision about the kinds of films we want to make and produce. It sort of happened organically.” He tops off both our glasses. “This is a tough business. It’s nice to work with people I trust and who trust me.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting Jasper and Kristian.”
“You’ll fall in love with Jasper’s British accent. We call him the Panty Dropper.”
“Dare I ask?”
“We joke that panties drop every time he opens his mouth.”
“The British accent is extremely sexy.”
“Oh jeez. Spare me. My sisters are positively smitten with him. Last year at Christmas, Ellie asked him to read ‘The Night Before Christmas’ and then made a flaming fool of herself panting and moaning over the accent. The kids thought she was having a stroke or something. It was mortifying.”
I’m laughing so hard, I nearly choke on my wine.
“You know,” he says, swirling the wine around in his glass, “I love talking about my friends and my business, but I’d much rather talk about you and your family.”
Just that quickly, my stomach knots and my body tightens with tension.
“Nat?”
“Yeah?”
“Look at me, sweetheart.”
I force myself to meet his intense gaze.
“I want to know you. I want to understand you. And more than anything, I want to protect you so nothing can ever hurt you again.”
“Not even you are that powerful.”
“You’d be surprised at what I can do when someone I love is hurting.”
“You’ve already shown me what you’re capable of.”
“I’ve only shown you the start of it.”
I can’t put this off any longer, not if I hope to have a meaningful relationship with this amazing man who has repeatedly revealed his heart to me and shared his truth. He deserves nothing less than my truth in return.
“Tell me about who you were as a kid. I want to know everything.”
“My name was April then. They named me that because I was born on the fifteenth of April, and the joke was that I was destined to work for the IRS because I was born on tax day.”
“Ugh, nothing funny about taxes. The joke in my family is I single-handedly support the Pentagon with what I pay in taxes.”
“Aww, poor baby.”
“I know, right?”
“Back then, before everything happened, I was really into dance, gymnastics, cheerleading. All the usual stuff.”
His eyes widen with interest. “You were a cheerleader?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Will you, you know, sometime…”
I hadn’t expected to laugh while talking about my past, but Flynn makes it easy. “If you’re very good.”
“I’m going to be so good.”
“Anyway, growing up, Oren Stone and his family were a big part of our lives. My dad and Oren had been friends since they were kids. According to my mom, who grew up with them, Oren always had an odd influence over my dad. I didn’t realize that when I was a kid, but with hindsight, I can see that their relationship was bizarre. My therapist said Oren was a classic narcissist. It was all about him, and my dad was his chief enabler. Whatever Oren wanted, Oren got… jobs, money, women, power. My dad helped make it all happen. Oren’s wife, Stephanie… She was a really nice lady who had no idea what went on behind the scenes. My parents used to fight about the things my dad did for him. He always said he didn’t have a choice if he wanted to keep his job. My mom would cry and beg him to get another job, but he’d say Oren needed him and he couldn’t desert him.”
“Were they into illegal stuff?” Flynn asked.
“They were into everything. It all came out during the trial. My charges were the tip of the iceberg. But I’m getting ahead of myself.” I take a deep breath. “Even though my mother didn’t think too much of Oren, she loved Stephanie. We kept up the pretense of our families being friends. When Oren became governor, they traveled a lot, and they asked me to travel with them during the summer and on vacations to help with their kids, who were much younger than me. I hadn’t been able to find a summer job, so I took them up on their offer. My parents were thrilled. I remember my mom saying how happy she was that I’d be working for friends, people we knew and trusted.”
When he strokes my face, I realize tears are spilling down my cheeks. Flynn takes my glass and puts it next to his on a nearby table. Then he gathers me close to him, holding me and caressing my back. “Take your time, s
weetheart.”
“I’m okay. It was a long time ago now. It’s so long ago that sometimes it’s like it didn’t happen to me, like I saw it all in a movie or something.” I take a deep breath, summoning the fortitude to get this over with so we can move forward together. “I spent a lot of weekends with them, helping with the kids while they attended events and other things he had to do as governor. So it wasn’t unusual for them to call me to set up a weekend babysitting gig. It was unusual, however, for Oren to make the call. But I knew Stephanie had been sick with the flu and had lost her voice, so I didn’t think anything of it.”
My hands begin to tremble and my stomach aches. “My mom dropped me off at the governor’s mansion after school on Friday. She said she’d see me Sunday and to keep a close eye on the kids. All the stuff she always said. We’d done this a hundred times before, so it was no big deal. Except… When I went into the house, the only one there was Oren. He said Stephanie and the kids would be home soon.”
“Take a deep breath, sweetheart. That’s it… If it’s too much, you don’t have to tell me.”
That’s when I notice there are tears in his eyes, too. This is killing him to hear as much as it’s killing me to recount it. Knowing Flynn is right there beside me, that he feels this almost as deeply as I do, gives me the courage to continue.
“He was drinking when I got there. After about an hour, he told me Stephanie and the kids were in New York visiting her parents for the weekend. I was confused. I made the mistake of asking him why I was there. He… He slapped me hard across the face and said I knew exactly why I was there, that I’d been ‘coming on to him’ for years, that I was ‘hot for it’ and all sorts of other things I didn’t understand at the time.”
“Son of a bitch.” Flynn’s voice is a low growl. “It’s a good thing he’s already dead, or I’d kill him with my own hands.”
“He tore my clothes off. I tried to fight him, but he was so much bigger and stronger than me. The whole time it was happening, I was in a state of disbelief. That this man I’d known all my life, my father’s closest friend… I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. He hit me and choked me and told me he’d kill me if I made so much as a sound.”
