“Sorry.”
He cupped her face between his hands. “Don’t be sorry.” God, he wished he could make this all better for her. Maybe giving her something else to focus on would help. That had sometimes worked for him. “How about I take a shower while you make some popcorn and choose a movie?”
“You don’t have to watch a movie with me. I know you have work to do.”
He clasped her face between his hands. “Nothing is more important to me than you.”
She smiled at him.
“Although I’d like to know what you were doing. You didn’t tell us your therapist said you could attempt to walk outside. One of us would have been here to support you if you had.”
She glanced away, and he knew from the guilty look on her face that something was wrong. Savannah was no good at hiding what she was thinking. Any time they played cards together, he and Logan always made certain it was strip poker. Although by the time she was naked, their concentration was shot, and the game usually finished rather abruptly.
His body warmed as he thought of the way Savannah would accuse them of cheating, her lip stuck out in a pout, brows furrowed. One of them would usually have to tickle her or spank her until she conceded there was no cheating going on.
Not that they hadn’t resorted to cheating a time or two. But that secret was going to their graves.
“Savannah,” he said in a low, warning voice.
She stared up at him, her mouth opening slightly. The sight of those plump, red lips was too much for him to resist. He leaned in and kissed her. He explored her thoroughly, as though he hadn’t kissed her thousands of times before. But then, he hadn’t kissed her like that since she’d been kidnapped.
He’d placed kisses against her cheeks and forehead, brushing his lips briefly over hers. But nothing close to this. Like he was a man starving, and she was a delicious banquet to be feasted on. He forced himself to draw back, even though he longed to take this further.
Slow. She needed slow.
When he pulled back, she looked dazed, her eyes were glazed, and her lips swollen. He rubbed a thumb over her lower lip then tapped her nose warningly. “Savannah, I expect an honest answer.” He injected some command into his voice.
“And if I don’t?” she asked.
He frowned slightly. “What’s going on?”
She sighed. “I’m just frustrated. I thought I’d be better than this by now.”
“After three sessions? Sweetheart, you have to give yourself time. And I don’t think pushing yourself to do things without your therapist’s go-ahead is the way to go about getting better.”
“Yeah, I know. I actually am feeling better. I managed to get some more sleep last night.”
He hadn’t. It had been his turn to sleep upstairs. Alone. He didn’t think he would sleep again until he held her in his arms.
“I thought if I just tried then I might be able to do it, you know? But I couldn’t. I was already panicking when you came through the door and I thought-I thought—”
“That I was him?” He slowly took her into his arms, holding her close and rocking her gently.
“Yeah, stupid, huh?”
“Not stupid.” He kissed the top of her head. “When I left the army, I had a lot of episodes where I thought I was back on a mission. All it would take was a car backfiring close by to trigger a memory. It takes time, love. And you’re doing so well. Don’t push so fast, okay?”
“All right.”
“Good. Now go get that popcorn ready. I’m ready to take a hit to my masculinity by watching something sappy and completely sickening.”
She rolled her eyes but gave him a small smile.
“And, Savannah, no more trying to leave the house without one of us here, got it?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
***
Savannah lay in bed that night, unable to sleep. She kept thinking about what had happened earlier. Embarrassment heated her cheeks as she remembered the way she’d wigged out on Max. She sighed. She’d told him the truth, she felt . . . well, not better, but more in control, she guessed, since talking to Molly. And the nightmares weren’t as frequent as before. Molly had given her some coping techniques to use when she was assaulted by memories of Stanton. But she wanted more. She wanted to go back to the life she’d had before.
Quietly, she rolled over and looked down at Max, who lay on the mattress the guys had put on the floor. The blanket had slipped down, revealing his firm, naked chest. The moon shining through the curtains provided enough light for her to make out his features. His dark beard and messy hair. His wide shoulders. Those abs. Jesus. Her men were both sexy gods. She’d often wondered what they’d seen in her slightly pudgy body. The last time she’d gone to a gym, she’d fallen off the back of the treadmill and swore she’d never return.
She’d burn her calories the old-fashioned way. Through laughter and sex. Not that she was getting much of either these days.
Her heart raced faster. She wondered how he’d react if she laid down beside him and ran her hand over his gorgeous body.
Max shifted, and she stiffened, certain he was about to wake, but he settled into sleep again with a soft murmur. The blanket had shifted lower so she could see his underwear. He used to sleep naked, but lately both he and Logan been wearing boxers to sleep in.
She wondered if she could get his shorts down and her mouth wrapped around his cock before he woke up.
Who was she kidding? This was Max. Nothing got by him. She laid back on the bed and moved her hand over her swollen nipple, pinching it gently. She’d been growing needier lately. She wanted them. Wanted to feel them surrounding her, touching her, kissing her, inside her.
Was she scared she’d have flashbacks? Yeah. That was part of the reason she hadn’t made a move on them. That and she just didn’t feel confident or sexy enough to seduce them.
She slid her hand down to her mound and tugged on the hair there. She usually went to the salon to get that taken care of. No hope of doing that when she couldn’t even step outside. She wondered if they did home visits? She licked her dry lips as she ran her finger over her clit and felt the shock of pleasure go off through her system.
Could she? Should she?
She sighed, letting her hand drift away. It just didn’t feel right. She didn’t want her own fingers there. She wanted theirs. Their touch. Their tongues. Their commands.
But maybe it was time she found a way to get what she needed, what she hoped they all needed.
Chapter Six
“So, Savannah, how have the last few days been?” Molly asked, smiling at her warmly through the computer screen.
It was kind of weird having sessions via Skype. She wondered if she might be more comfortable talking to Molly in her office, rather than sitting here in her own living room.
Other than the first time, the guys always gave her privacy to talk to Molly. She knew neither of them was overly comfortable talking to a therapist. Max had seen one when he was in the armed forces, but from what little he’d said, it hadn’t been a good experience.
And Logan, well, he just wasn’t comfortable speaking to almost anyone, period.
“Frustrating,” Savannah replied.
Molly raised her eyebrows. When Laken had talked about her therapist, Savannah had always pictured her as older, sort of motherly. Instead, Molly was around her age. She was attractive with vibrant, red hair she pulled back into a high pony tail, and big green eyes. She never took notes or looked away, which was a bit disconcerting in the beginning, to have all that attention on her. But Savannah had soon learned Molly really cared. Sure, she was paying her to care, but Molly always gave one hundred percent focus to whatever Savi was saying.
It had been a struggle for Savannah to open up. If the guys hadn’t been with her during that first session, she’d probably have barely spoken, she might even have given up on the whole thing and walked away. But as time went on, it became easier to open up.
She’d w
“Want to tell me what that thought was?” Molly asked.
Nope.
She sighed. This wouldn’t work unless she opened up. And it had to work.
“I just thought that it’s easier to talk to you rather than people I know. I know you’re not judging me, or if you are, you’re good at hiding it, and it doesn’t matter so much because we don’t really know each other.”
“Do you often worry people will judge you?”
“Not really. Well, sort of. I worry they’ll get tired of hearing about my issues.”
“You went through a terrible experience, Savannah. I don’t think people will judge you or think badly of you for wanting to speak of it. Especially not friends or family.”
“Actually, I don’t think my family cares in the slightest.”
Molly just waited in silence. It was a good trick. Savannah had thought about trying to use it on Logan when he was particularly stubborn, but she just didn’t have the patience. And the big guy could be really, really stubborn.
“My mother is a serial husband collector. She’s on number six.”
“Why do you think her marriages don’t last?”
“Because she’s a drama queen. Because everything that happens in the world affects her somehow. I swear, there can be a terrible earthquake in New Zealand, and my mother will claim mental distress because she saw a crushed building and had a dream she was inside it or some such shit. The thing is, men seem to fall for it. Her helpless, damsel in distress routine.”
“But they soon realize that romantic ideal of rescuing a damsel and being a hero isn’t one they want to act out again and again and again?”
“Exactly.” She should have known Molly would understand.
“And her issues mean she is always focused on herself. No one else.”
“Yep. The only time I ever felt like the focus was somewhat on me was when I was engaged.”
“Does she get on with Logan and Max?”
“Oh, hell, no. They can’t stand each other.” She grinned. “Logan calls her Drusilla.”
“But instead of Dalmatian skins, she collects husband’s souls?” Molly guessed.
“You’re quick.”
“Lots of cartoon watching when I was a kid.” Molly smiled wryly. “Did she try to talk you out of marrying them?”
“Yes, of course. She doesn’t understand why I want to live out here in the middle of nowhere, which to my mother is anywhere that doesn’t have a Macy’s. I swear she thinks I live in a dirt hut in Timbuktu.”
“But she was focused on you when she tried to talk you out of marrying them?”
“Oh, no, it was all about her. What would her friends think? What would she tell people? How could I hurt her like that? No, it wasn’t my engagement to Max and Logan I was talking about. It was my other engagement.”
“You were married before?”
“Nope. Didn’t make it to the altar. In fact, the day I met Max and Logan was the day I was supposed to get married. I was a runaway bride.”
“Seems to have worked out for you.”
“Oh, it did. Alistair wasn’t my choice. My mother introduced us. In fact, maybe I should suggest him to my mom for her next husband. They deserve each other.”
“What happened?”
“I came home from the gym early because, well, let’s just say there was a treadmill incident. I only went because my mother insisted I would feel better if I lost some weight before the wedding.” She glanced down at herself. “Guess she’d be thrilled at the way I look now. I found Alistair in bed with our next-door neighbor. She was married as well. Think she still is. He’s filthy, stinking rich. You’d think he could have rented a hotel room instead of doing it in our bed.”
“Maybe he wanted to get caught.”
Savannah stilled, startled by that revelation. “Maybe. I think he was getting a lot of pressure from his parents to marry me. They ran in the same circles as my mother. She was thrilled. It was the only time in my life when I felt like she really noticed me. Well, other than to nitpick my appearance, my choice to get a higher education and work, blah, blah, blah.”
“She must have noticed when you ran off.”
Savannah grimaced. “Ah, yeah. She’s not going to forget that anytime soon. That woman never forgets a wrong, real or imagined. She claims she barely escaped social ruin. Personally, I think I gave her something to dine on for years.” She shrugged. “We never did see eye to eye.”
“But then you met Max and Logan.”
She grinned. “They were the complete opposite of every man I’d ever dated. Dominant, protective, real. That flat tire turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. So I guess in the end, I should be thanking Alistair for cheating on me.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Molly said.
They grinned at each other.
***
“Max!”
Max swore silently to himself. Christ, couldn’t a man get a few moments of peace? He pushed his irritation aside and turned. Savannah was having her session with the shrink right now, and he was hurrying to get home before it finished. Logan was around, but after her panic attack yesterday he wanted to be close by.
He hadn’t been overly enthusiastic about her seeing a therapist, but this one seemed better than most. Maybe they weren’t all like the asshole he’d seen, who’d preyed on soldiers who were just trying to cope with everything they’d seen and done. However, he’d still be watching her carefully, if these sessions were too much for her, he’d put a stop to them. Nothing was more important than Savannah’s health.
“What can I do for you, Atkinson?”
The older man smiled, although Max thought it looked forced.
“Have you thought more about my offer?”
“Yep.”
“And?” The other man asked impatiently.
There was something about Atkinson Max didn’t like. Maybe it was that he was so damn pushy. He’d made Max an offer, a good offer, and Max had told him he’d think about it. Atkinson didn’t seem to want to leave that where it was, though. He had to keep asking. If Max wasn’t desperate, he’d tell the other man where he could stick his offer.
He smiled as he thought about doing just that.
“I’m still thinking about it,” Max told him, turning his back on the other man and opening the door to his truck. “I’ve got to go.”
“Yes, yes, of course. No doubt you want to get back to that sweet wife of yours. How’s she doing after her fright?”
Why was he asking about Savannah? Far as Max knew the two had never met. Atkinson had moved into the area four months ago when he’d bought Murchison’s spread. That he was already trying to buy more land made Max suspicious.
He decided he wouldn’t be taking Atkinson up on his offer. If he was forced to sell, then he’d do it on his terms. Travis had called him earlier and left a message to call him back. Max couldn’t afford not to call him. They needed the cash. Desperately.
He turned back to study Atkinson, who looked a little smug. “I wouldn’t call it a fright. She didn’t find a rat in the basement.”
“No, no, I didn’t mean to trivialize what she went through, not at all. I have to go, but let me know about that offer. Quickly or it may disappear.”
Now what made him leave in such a rush? Usually, Max had to be extra rude to get rid of him. It was always the best part of their conversations.
He turned to see Jake crossing the road. Hmm, could that be why he’d left in a hurry? The sheriff stared after Atkinson thoughtfully. “Runs every time he sees me coming, like a scared rabbit. Or a guilty one.”
Max raised his eyebrows. “You think he’s guilty of something?”
“Don’t know. Can’t find any record. Did a background check when he bought Murchison’s spread. Nothing came up, but there’s something about him. I can’t get him to stand still long enough to even talk to him. Makes my palms itch.”
“Reckon you can get a prescription for that,” Max joked.
“Asshole.” Jake smiled though. “How're things?”
“Good. Just came in for supplies. Got to get back, Savannah’s having a therapy session, and I want to get there before it’s over.”
Jake nodded. “Glad she’s getting help. You need anything, you tell me.” The big sheriff stepped away. “And watch out for that Atkinson, I don’t trust him.”
“He offered to buy our place.”
Jake paused and turned to look at him thoughtfully. “Did he?”
“Could be he just wants to extend his holdings,” Max offered.
“Rumor has it he’s been selling off most of his livestock.”
He had? Max should have known about that. But then, he’d been occupied lately.
“So why does he want to expand?” Max asked.
“Exactly. Might just have a word with Alec Malone, see if he’s had any offers from Atkinson lately.”
Alec owned a large ranch on the other side of Atkinson.
Max snorted. “He’d have more luck getting water out of a rock than he would getting Alec to sell out.”
Jake nodded. “Probably get run off the property by one of those crazy brothers of his. I’ll talk to him anyway. They won’t dare try to run me off by taking pot-shots at me.”
“Good luck with that.”
He was going to need it. Alec Malone had five younger brothers, and they were each crazier than the next. And they didn’t like strangers. Although if anyone could hold their own, it was Jake.
It would take an extra sort of crazy to go up against Jake.
***
“So why are you frustrated, Savannah?” Molly asked.
Hmm . . . let’s see. Because she couldn’t leave the house? Because her men didn’t sleep in the same bed as her? Because they were still treating her like she was fragile? Because she wasn’t getting laid?
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