by Ali Parker
“Got it.” She swapped her crate to her other hand. “Is it true that they have a bunch of retired racehorses here? Mom said she thought this was the place when I told her where we were going today.”
“Yep. This is the place. People joke and call it a retirement center, but it’s not far off the mark. One part of the stables is made up of the old-timers. You’re going to love them.”
“That’s exactly what my mom said.” She laughed. “She was really impressed with you the other night. Have I told you that?”
“No. What could she possibly have been impressed by?” Layla and I had exchanged a few texts since our dinner. If anything, I was the one impressed by her. More so the better I got to know her. “It’s not like I work with a gajillion charities, volunteer my time with people and animals, or work to promote the town to tourists.”
Kayla waved her free hand, snorting as she tried to suppress another laugh. “Please. Tourists come here all by themselves. Have you seen this place? Don’t let Mom fool you into thinking differently.”
Unlike her, I didn’t even try to suppress my laughter. “Really? What about all the other things then? You truly enjoy giving her shit, huh?”
“It’s our thing.” She winked before turning serious again. “She really was impressed by you, by how far you’ve come after all the adversity you’ve faced, and the dedication and passion you have for your job.”
Heat spread on my cheeks. “Tell her I said thanks. It’s not every day I get complimented by someone like her.”
“I think she was really impacted by you,” she continued as if I hadn’t said anything. “She even wants to make a donation to the clinic. She doesn’t think it’s fair that you’ve already made so many donations to a community you’ve only been part of a few months when there’s still so many dreams you have for yourself.”
“The community is supporting me too.” I shrugged. “They bring their beloved animals in for me to look after, don’t they? I wouldn’t and couldn’t ask for more than that.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t, but you’re not asking Mom either. She wants to do it, which means she probably is.” Her eyes shone when she glanced over at me. “It’s something that would help you out and that would make both of us happy.”
“If you really want to help me out and make us all happy, come back and work for the clinic after you graduate.”
I’d been planning on making the offer toward the end of her internship, but I wasn’t sorry it’d just come out. I didn’t know if she’d been talking to anyone else or applying to other places. I wanted her to know she could make the clinic her home any day if she wanted to, even if I had planned on taking her out for a nice lunch or something to make the actual offer.
She stopped in her tracks, her eyes opening so wide I was afraid they might fall out. “Do you mean it?”
“Of course, I mean it.” I laughed. “Hell, if you didn’t go to school so far away, I’d be begging you to keep working there before you even graduate.”
Kayla dropped the crate on the wet dirt to fling her arms around me. “I’d love to. Thank you!”
I hugged her back with my free arm, too afraid that if I let go of my own crate it would land on our feet. “It’s settled then. I’ll be counting the days until you come back.”
“I’ll be counting the hours,” she countered before giving me a final squeeze and letting me go. Unshed tears hung on her lower lids, just about to spill over. “I mean it, Haven. I’m going to miss you so much when I have to go back to school.”
“Same here.” Sudden tears stung the backs of my eyes, and both of us blinked hard and fast to get our emotions under control.
With a soft sniff, Kayla took a deep breath and picked up her crate. “Come on, cry baby. We’d better get in there. I thought you said we had a lot of work to do today.”
“We do.” I bumped my shoulder into hers as we got going again. “Who are you to call me a cry baby? You cried first.”
“I’ll own it.” She shrugged. “It was a beautiful moment, and I really am excited by the prospect of coming back to work with you permanently. It’ll be the best thing ever.”
I agreed with her, but the owner of the farm came walking out of the stables as we rounded the corner to it. She broke out in a wide smile when she saw us. “Ladies, I’m so glad you could come out today. I just checked on Rainbow again, and there’s definitely something going on with that leg.”
She shook my hand when we got to her, did the same with Kayla, and returned her attention to me. “Old Bojangles isn’t looking great either. He was fine yesterday, but now he seems lethargic. Other than that, I think everyone’s pretty okay. It’ll be good for them all to get checked out though.”
“That’s what we’re here for.” I pressed two fingers to my head in a quick salute. “How’re the babies? Anyone we need to pay special attention to?”
“Nah.” She grinned at me. “My daughter’s eighteen. She loves those foals. Spends most of her time with them. If there was anything untoward going on with one of them, she definitely would’ve told me. I think they just need their shots and they’ll be good.”
“We’ll make sure they get what they need. See you later, Mrs. Patterson.” I gave her a wave when she started to walk away, then looked on Kayla. “Let’s check on the two oldies first before we do the routine check. I think we’ll leave the foals until last if there’s nothing specific to worry about with them.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” She sucked in a breath when she took her first good look at the stables. “That’s like something out of a book. Don’t you think?”
“It really is.” I let out a contented sigh. “Whenever I come here, I feel like I’m stepping into an alternate reality where everything is just perfect.”
If I ever had any stables of my own, I’d be the happiest little camper ever. But if I ever had stables anything close to what the Pattersons did, I’d never leave them. Clean lines, brick, dark wood, and a perfectly pitched roof made for a building I would live in if I ever had the chance.
Gotta have something to strive toward. At least I got to work here. It was almost as good.
Regardless of how beautiful the stables were though, the same sense of anxiety I always got before stepping foot inside any stables zipped through me when we got to the wide doors. Ever since my dad’s accident, I’d had something of a fear for taking those first few steps inside.
It had been a fear of entering at all at first. There was a time when I thought I’d never be able to enter a building housing horses ever again. It’d broken my heart, but I thought it would always just be too difficult.
It took me a few years, but eventually, I realized I missed horses almost as much as I missed my dad. Working with them made me feel closer to him, and without them? I felt more distant from him than ever.
And so I forced myself to visit the stables at an animal rehabilitation clinic I’d been volunteering at one day. The familiar sights, sounds, and smells reduced me to tears, but it’d also been such a huge relief that I went back every opportunity I got after that.
There were probably better ways to have reintroduced myself to that environment, but that had been my way, and it’d worked wonders for me. Plus, we couldn’t afford counseling anyway.
The only remnant of that fear now was that zip of anxiety. Hopefully, one day, I would be free of even that and it would become a wholly healing, restoring experience to be with the horses. For now, though, I hardly missed a step but I still felt that anxiety tightening up my insides before I reminded myself that it’d been a freak accident.
“Have you heard from Colton again?” Kayla asked as we made our way inside, obviously not even having noticed my mental pep talk. Thank God.
I trusted her, but I didn’t exactly want to advertise that I was a vet with a specialization in equine medicine who was afraid of stables. Her question about Colton was a nice distraction. “After he came over the other night? I’ve heard from him, but I haven’t seen
him again. I think he’s trying to work through being forced to take a break from work.”
“What?” Her voice echoed in the empty room we were dropping off our supplies in. “You didn’t tell me he was on a forced break.”
Fuck. I hadn’t meant to tell her either. It wasn’t my story to tell, but on the other hand, I really needed to soundboard my thoughts with someone.
“It sounds like he’s been having a case of writer’s block after he wrote that article. He didn’t say it in so many words, but I’ve gone back and looked again. The only thing with his name on it published since was a story about that party we went to at Yellowstone. I’m not surprised he’s in trouble at work if he hasn’t done much in that amount of time.”
She whistled under her breath. “That article came out just after I started working for you, right? It’s been months.”
“Yeah.” I slipped my hair tie off my wrist and pulled my hair up after placing my crate in the corner. “Do you think it was that article that made him feel so bad about writing that he just can’t do it anymore?”
“I doubt it, but I do think it’s time you told him that you know he wrote it.” She caught my eye when she dropped to her haunches in front of her equipment. “If you want to save your relationship, that is. If that article has fucked with his head and you don’t tell him now, it could look bad later on. You also still deserve an explanation, an apology, and a retraction.”
“He’s a good guy. I don’t think it would cause trouble later on if I don’t tell him, but you’re right. We should probably talk about it.”
“He really still hasn’t brought up the clinic to you at all?” She picked up a pair of gloves and shoved them into her back pocket. “I was convinced he was going to try to pump you for information.”
“I don’t think he’s going to.” I sighed. “I could be wrong, but doesn’t it feel like he would’ve started digging for information by now if that was what he wanted?”
“I don’t know.” She pressed her lips into a thin line and hung her stethoscope around her neck before she pushed to her feet. “I hope you’re right. I hope that he’s not doing anything wrong. Promise me you’ll think about talking to him about it though, okay? I really feel like it’s time.”
“I’ll think about it,” I promised. It was probably way past time to speak to him about it, but I still didn’t know how to bring it up.
By the next time I see him, I’ll have it figured out, I vowed to myself. It was clear he wasn’t going to bring it up, so I would just have to. The next time I see him. I promise.
Chapter 28
COLTON
Time off did not sit right with me. While I might not have been overly productive the last while, I was still used to being busy. I’d always operated better under pressure, and time off was the extreme opposite of that.
I’d been so determined at Haven’s house to make the best of this time, but that notion had crashed and burned as soon as I’d gotten back to my empty condo with absolutely nothing to do. A few days of catching up on TV shows, playing video games, taking care of Tiger, and getting day-drunk alone had convinced me that vacations were a massive waste of time.
It was no wonder I hadn’t taken as much as a sick day in fucking years. What did I even do before I started working?
This was total bullshit, and yet there wasn’t a word yet about when I could expect to go back to the office. Ross had been in contact with me, but all he’d asked was whether I’d found a story yet.
The answer had been a loud, resounding “hell no.” His answer to my returning to the office was the same.
After those first few days of just trying to relax and ease into it, I’d given up on the enjoyment of the time and had turned my focus back to work. I was convinced my mind was clear after those free days and that finding a new story would take no time at all.
I’d been wrong. Obviously.
My eyes stung from having stared at my computer screen, barely even blinking, for so many hours after having done the same thing yesterday and the day before. It felt like I’d hit up thousands of sites, and I was still coming up dry.
A part of me couldn’t believe it. It was like I was wearing blinders and couldn’t actually see anything the way I used to. Nothing jumped out at me. Not a single lead or story idea.
How is this possible?
Lying awake at night, racking my brain for what could have brought it on hadn’t yielded any results. It all came down to the story about the mysterious donor and not getting any leads on that investigation. I’d hit dead ends before though, and it’d never resulted in a block like this.
My phone ringing yanked me out of my head. When I saw the number for the nursing home on the screen, my extremities turned to ice and the hairs at the back of my neck stood up.
“Is my mother okay?” I asked after picking up, an ominous feeling spreading all the way through me.
“Yes, sir, she’s fine,” a reassuring voice that didn’t reassure me at all said. “I’m Becky. I work in the accounts office.”
I frowned. “I haven’t skipped a payment.”
“Oh, no.” She chuckled. “That’s not what this is about.”
“Why is the accounts department calling me if I haven’t missed a payment?” The ominous feeling intensified. “You’ve never called me before.”
“Well, we need you to come in actually. There’s something we need to discuss with you and it’s better if we do it in person.”
Dread filled my stomach. “I’ll be right there, but I’d really like to know what this is about.”
“The nurse responsible for your mother’s care will be able to explain it better than I can, but they would like to move her to another ward and we need to discuss the implications of the move.”
Money. That was what this was about. Some of the dread melted away, but a chunk of it also remained. Considering that I hadn’t been getting bonuses or commission recently, I wasn’t as far in the black as I would’ve wanted to be if and when something like this happened.
“I understand,” I said. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
After hanging up, I went to put on shoes, get Tiger out for a break, and to grab my keys and wallet, then headed right over to the nursing home. I’d been a few times since the visit when I’d promised myself I would go more often, but I still felt guilty that I hadn’t been this week.
The accounts department was in a wing I’d only been to before Mom had moved in here. I found it easily, though.
The woman manning the front desk smiled at me when I walked in. “Mr. Stark, I presume? Becky said to show you in when you arrived.”
“That’s me.” I followed her down thickly carpeted hallways with heavy drapes lining the windows, held back with golden ties that looked like ropes.
This place really was like an estate or a castle. It was already damn expensive. How much more would they charge for a different ward?
I swallowed past dry spots appearing in my throat, clearing it just as we stopped in front of a heavy, intricately carved door. The receptionist knocked and turned to me with yet another smile. “You can go in, Mr. Stark. I trust you’ll find your way back when you’re done? If not, just ask Becky to give me a call.”
“Thank you. I’ll do that.” I waited until she walked away before going inside. The office was large and airy with a middle-aged woman sitting behind a desk.
She stood up when I walked in, dressed in a navy suit and with her graying hair tied back in a tight bun. She looked like a headmistress to me, but her smile was warm and genuine.
“Welcome, Mr. Stark. Thank you for getting here so fast.” She swept a hand out to gesture to another woman sitting at her desk. “You know Nurse Angelina, of course. She’s the head of the team in your mother’s current ward.”
“Of course.” I gave both of them the politest smile I could muster while wishing I had a flask of whiskey somewhere. This was fucking nerve racking.
We exchanged handshakes befor
e Becky motioned me into the chair next to Angelina’s. “Why do you want to move my mom?”
Becky nodded at the nurse, who turned in her seat to face me instead of her. “I’m afraid her condition is deteriorating. The floor she’s on at the moment is not meant for people who require a higher standard of care.”
Pain exploded in my chest, making my heart feel like it’d just been obliterated, wiped off the map with her simple statement. A shudder ran through my soul, but on the outside, I remained calm and stoic. “Does she really need that just yet? I saw her last week and she seemed fine.”
“She seems fine until one starts paying attention to the smaller details of everyday life. I suppose we could wait before we move her, but not without risking her safety as well as the safety of the residents around her. We prefer not to take the wait-and-see approach around here.”
“Won’t the move disorient her and make her feel even worse?” I wasn’t being obstinate or deliberately obtuse. I just wanted what was best for my mother and I couldn’t really accept that more care was it.
The nurse nodded. “It will at first. Our intention is to move her and help her settle in to her new home before she deteriorates even further. The longer we wait, the scarier the move becomes to her.”
Becky took over from Angelina. “That’s why we wanted to discuss the move with you sooner rather than later. There’s an additional deposit for the new room, as well as an added monthly fee.”
Fuck.
My heart sank.
There was no way I’d be able to pay for this if I didn’t go back to work, and I couldn’t go back to work until I had a fucking story. Which meant I needed a story. Now.
“She needs this?” I asked, needing to hear the confirmation.
Both women nodded but it was Angelina who replied. “We know it’s not easy to accept. My mother was here for years. I work here, but I still rebelled against the idea of moving her to higher care floors every time it happened.”
