He heard footsteps approaching.
“You all right?” Luke Daulton asked.
Rob didn’t answer. He continued to look off into space.
“You okay?”
Rob turned slowly to look at him. “I’m fine now.”
“You don’t look it.”
“I just ended it with Gwen.”
Luke didn’t say anything for a moment. “Well, you dodged a bullet on that one.”
“It doesn’t feel like it,” Rob said weakly. “It feels like I got hit by the bullet right through the heart.” He tapped his chest. “And I feel like I’ll be carrying this slug around for a long time.”
“Okay, bad analogy,” Luke said. “But I guess what I’m saying is, it could’ve been worse.”
“I’ll buy that.” Rob took a deep breath and sighed. “I jumped from the moving train before it wrecked. I guess it was going faster than I thought.”
Luke nodded, although he looked confused.
“Be careful, Luke. Don’t think you’re immune.”
“Okay.”
“You’re too young for any of this to make any sense,” Rob said. “I know you’ve got a good thing going—I’ve met Kim—and I know you guys are all wrapped up in love for each other. Just keep your guard up.”
“Yeah, I will.” Luke paused. “No offense, Rob, but you haven’t exactly been thinking logically here.”
“Luke, logic’s got nothing to do with it.”
“I guess.” Luke looked away and an awkward silence followed.
“Well, see you around,” Rob said. He opened the door to his Porsche, but stopped before getting in. “Hey, I’ll have more time for that bike ride, now. Give me a call.” With that, he hopped in and fired up the high-powered engine.
After Luke’s Camry pulled away, leaving the parking lot truly deserted, Rob was left alone to face his thoughts and feelings. Breaking it off with Gwen was the hardest, meanest, cruelest thing he had ever done in his whole sorry, pathetic existence, and he knew that look on her face would haunt him forever. But he had done the right thing, he kept telling himself. He should feel better—he would feel better soon. He would’ve just hurt her—and himself—worse by prolonging it. What would be the sense? Why drag it out? He said these things over and over, never believing any of them for an instant.
As the pain swelled and became unbearable, he pounded the steering wheel with his fists and howled his distress. Then he buried his face in his hands and cried. Finally, after a long while, when the tears came no more, he drove away with a heaviness in his chest and a hollowness in his soul that he didn’t think would ever heal.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 8:00 P.M.
“How’d she die?” Kim asked softly from the other end of the worn sofa. She lifted a spoonful of her steaming wonton soup and blew on it.
“She had a case of malignant hyperthermia.” Luke took another bite of his pork egg foo yung. Colby, who was sitting on the floor, rested his head heavily on Luke’s knee. The dog’s eyes followed every move of the egg foo yung.
“Malignant hyperthermia,” she repeated slowly. “You mean where they get the really high fever from anesthesia?”
“I’m surprised you remember it.”
“You did Grand Rounds on it.” A grin crossed her face. “How could I forget? You agonized about it for a month. I helped you with your slides.”
He lifted his hand to stop her. “Okay, I guess that’s the price for being married to a smart aleck know-it-all. Anyway, it wasn’t my case, it was Dr. Katz’s. In fact, I was changing to go home when I heard the Case One being called.”
“You ditched our walk just to help someone?”
He cocked his head a little and gave her a warning stare, but he felt the corners of his mouth curling up in spite of himself. He could never maintain a harsh demeanor with her for long. Besides, he knew she was just trying to cheer him up. He suppressed the smile. “I’m not so sure I was much help, Kim—the lady died.”
“Oh,” she said quietly.
The egg foo yung had lost its flavor. He set the half-full container back down on the side table next to the sofa. Colby nudged him with a cool snoot, and Luke began to pet his head and rub behind his ears.
“How old was she?”
“Only in her fifties—wife of some VIP lawyer or state government type.”
“Yow, that’s young.”
“Katz seemed to catch it right away. We gave dantrolene—the antidote—quickly enough, but she never turned around. Temp just kept going up, despite packing her in ice. She cooked right before our eyes.”
“Sounds horrible.” She poked thoughtfully at a wonton with her spoon, slowly dunking it under the broth.
“It was.” Luke shook his head. “Reminded me of a kid I once took care of in the PICU whose temp was out of control—very scary. He had flesh-eating bacteria and sepsis. He was burning up, too. I remember even his feet were red hot.”
Kim grimaced. “Nasty.”
“This lady’s blood gas was nasty too. PH was 7.09! Normal is 7.4.”
She looked up at him, brows arched. “Wow, no wonder she didn’t make it. How did Dr. Katz do with it?”
“He did really well—better than I would’ve expected.”
“Why do you say that?” She took a break from the soup and moved on to her pepper steak. “He seems like a very intelligent man.”
“I know he’s smart and all, but Kim, MH cases are rare. Maybe you see one every ten years or so—less, if you’re lucky. He knew all the dantrolene doses perfectly.”
“Maybe he’s just really good at his job after all these years.”
Luke took a sip of his Coke.
She set her pepper steak down on the coffee table. “Are you okay?” She sidled closer and put her arm behind his back to lean her head into his shoulder. “Was it really bad for you?”
“I’m fine,” he replied. Neither said anything for a few moments. “How’s Abi doing?” he asked.
Her smile returned. “See for yourself.” She took his hand and placed it on her big belly. “She usually wakes up when it’s dinnertime.”
Luke closed his eyes and focused on his hand resting on Kim’s stomach. “She’s moving,” he said. “I think she’s kicking!” Luke loved to feel his daughter move. He grinned at Kim and said, “She wants out.”
“That makes two of us.”
“And you’re sure you’re good with Abigail? No second thoughts, I mean?” Luke had to admit he wasn’t totally thrilled with the name but he knew Kim was, and that was enough for him.
“I love it.” Kim hugged him as best she could and kissed him on the cheek. “And I love you for being okay with it.”
“I love you, too—and Abi.” Luke returned her hug and kissed her gently. They sat there cuddled together for a few minutes, the only noise Colby’s breathing.
“I have to tell you something,” Luke said, opening his eyes.
“What?”
“Remember a while ago I told you about your obstetrician, Rob Gentry, getting involved with another woman?”
“Yeah. With your billing secretary, I believe.”
“Right. Well, I think he ended it tonight. He told me he gave her the boot while we were in the parking lot.”
“Hopefully he’s come to his senses.” She snuggled closer to him. “Hey,” she said, “I think Abi’s drifting off to sleep.”
“Good,” he whispered back.
Kim turned to look up at him, concern clouding her features. “Will you be all right sleeping?”
“Sure.”
“It seems lately that you toss and turn a lot at night. Bad dreams?”
“I’m okay.” Luke couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes, especially when he thought he wasn’t being a hundred percent truthful. He hadn’t shared the dad nightmare with her yet. He squirmed a little and sat up straight. Colby looked up at him.
“I’ll give you a back rub,” Kim volunteered.
�
��That’d be nice, but I’m supposed to be giving you back rubs.”
“You’ll owe me, then,” she said, shifting around.
Luke chuckled and leaned forward. He busied himself rubbing Colby’s velvety soft ears. Colby purred with appreciation sounding more like a kitten than a dog.
“Maybe I’ll even throw in a front rub, if that would help,” she added. “Then you’ll really owe me.”
Luke nodded and smiled back at her and felt himself getting choked up. He couldn’t help but think he didn’t deserve her.
Later that night, Luke again had trouble falling asleep, even after Kim’s all-inclusive massage. What was happening? Sleeping had always been one of his strengths. It was past midnight and after tossing and turning for well over an hour, he was now thoroughly exhausted—and becoming more and more irritated. He really had to sleep—5:30 would be coming soon enough. But the harder he tried, the more elusive sleep became.
The woman’s death obviously had something to do with his restlessness, but he knew it was more than that—he was also afraid to have the dad nightmare again. He rolled over once again and saw Kim sleeping peacefully next to him in bed. Her strawberry-blond hair glowed in the moonlight streaming in through the window. God, she was beautiful. Gazing at her was always soothing to him, the balm his mind needed to ease his pain. He joked that she was his antidepressant. She was definitely the best thing that had ever happened to him. And truth be told, if it had been left up to him, nothing would’ve happened between them.
He recalled very clearly that it hadn’t been her looks that had initially attracted him, six years ago at Penn. In fact, when he first saw her, she was wearing a full-length white lab coat and her long hair was pulled back in a bun, and she wore glasses—computer nerd personified. What attracted him was her brains—she was the smartest girl he had ever met.
Luke had been a fourth-year medical student at the time, Kim a graduate student in applied computing. They crossed paths because of an extra credit research project Luke was working on. He was investigating the effects of anesthetic gases on cerebral blood flow in dogs. To this day, no one really knew how these strange anesthetic agents produce unconsciousness reversibly. He utilized positron emitting glucose molecules to tag the blood flow and a PET scanner to track their whereabouts. The PET scans were then reconstructed into 3D images of the brain using high-speed computer algorithms. Kim was in charge of the computers doing the reconstruction and her abilities were nothing short of astonishing. He smiled as a memory surfaced.
“So, Daulton, how’s that research project going?”
“Oh, hi, Kim. I didn’t see you come in. Hey, take a look at this graph. Isn’t it sweet?”
Luke rolled his chair back to give her more room as she came closer. As she bent over to study the plot on the CRT monitor, he got a whiff of her pleasant scent, but did his best to ignore it. “That PET scanner data of yours is perfect,” he said.
She tapped the screen. “I’ll bet if you plotted the second derivative you could nail down that inflection point.” She adjusted her glasses. “I could add that to the program.”
He smiled at her. “You’re the best, Kimby.”
She straightened and took a few steps toward the door. “When you’re done here, why don’t you take a break and join us for a little softball,” she said over her shoulder. “A bunch of the grad students get together every Friday after work.”
“Thanks for the invite,” Luke said apologetically, “but I really need to finish this paper, plus I’ve got a big micro test on Monday.”
She turned and put her hands on her hips. “So you’re gonna hit the books on a Friday night?”
“Yeah, ’fraid so.” Luke scribbled a note in his notebook about the new derivative plot. “I’m not a genius type like you, who aces all her tests without ever cracking a book.”
“You’re such a nerd.”
Luke thought he detected a note of genuine disappointment under her usual bantering tone. He looked up from his notebook to find her staring right at him. It was the first time he noticed how blue her eyes were. “Hey, you know my grades are important to me. I need to get into a good residency program.”
“Why is that again?” Her expression was hard to read.
“I need to make a difference.”
Luckily for Luke, Kim was persistent. She continued to invite him to play softball or go to parties with the graduate students. Luke never fully understood the reason for her persistence. He knew he scared most women away with his all-business attitude, which was okay with Luke; in fact, it was mostly on purpose. Women were a distraction he couldn’t afford.
Finally, one Friday afternoon in May, against his better judgment, Luke relented and agreed to meet Kim on the softball field. She had helped him so much with his project that he felt he owed her—besides, he had to admit he was beginning to enjoy her company. She was such a bright, upbeat person and she always made him laugh, something he didn’t do too much of on his own.
When Luke showed up late for the game, he thought for a moment he was at the wrong field. He didn’t recognize Kim at first, with her long blond hair down. She was also wearing short shorts and a silky Penn gym shirt. She was very pretty, he realized. From that point on, he always noticed her looks, despite her habit of wearing loose-fitting, sometimes even baggy clothes. Later she confided to him that she didn’t dress provocatively because she had been hit on so much in college. She had been asked on a lot of dates, but when the boys found out how smart she was, they didn’t call back. She wanted to meet someone who cared about her, not her looks.
Luke had a fabulous time at the softball game—it felt really good to take a break from his constant studying and lighten up for a bit. In fact, from that point on he decided it would be okay to make time for one distracting woman.
And distract him she did. After several more softball games and beers out with the gang afterwards, he soon got around to asking her out for an official date. She told him it was about time and the two quickly became inseparable. After three or four months, he realized he had fallen hopelessly in love with her and couldn’t stand to be apart from her. Within a year he had asked her to marry him, and she accepted.
Beside him, Kim murmured in her sleep, dissolving the pleasant memory. Luke sighed. It was one o’clock and he was wide awake. The sinking moon still shone brightly enough through the window to illuminate Kim. He looked absently at the shadow lines cast by the windowpane slats, crisscrossing the white bedspread. The rectangular shadows twisted and arced, forming a three-dimensional tableau as they hugged the curves of Kim’s body. He lay there transfixed, admiring how the grid-work pattern distorted rhythmically with her breathing. Then he noticed a distinct rippling effect on Kim’s belly. He reached out and put his hand on her stomach, ever so gently, so as not to wake her. He smiled when he felt movement under his hand.
“Can’t sleep, Abi?” Luke whispered, drawing his face near to his hand. “Me neither.” Abi became still. “You okay in there? I can’t wait to see you.” Words and melody from the song “I Can Only Imagine” flowed through his mind. Kim had taken to singing it recently, as the day of Abi’s birth drew closer. Movement tickled his hand. He smiled and kissed Kim’s belly. Tears welled up, blurring his vision, and the shadows danced out of focus. He couldn’t tell whether he was happy or sad, whether they were tears of joy for Kim and Abi, or tears of pain for himself. Again he felt Abi move beneath his hand. “Are you scared, little one?” He paused for a second. “I am.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 11:00 P.M.
“CNN just called it!” screamed one of his younger campaign volunteers—the pretty blond one. She had on a tight pullover and her boobs bobbed up and down as she jumped for joy. He had nicknamed her Perky. Her real name was Kristen or Kiersten, something like that.
Senator Russell Pierce looked away from her and settled his large frame back into the chair at his makeshift desk. He was tucked away in the little alc
ove to go over his acceptance speech. He heaved a big sigh of relief and gazed about the large room in Founders Hall that served as his campaign headquarters. He loved the heavy marble overtones of the place—the rich, solemn atmosphere always photographed well. His staffers scurried about, all with one eye on the multiple video monitors tuned to all the major stations. Operators manned a bank of phones on the other side of the room. The place had gotten very noisy as the celebrations began. Several of his closest advisors came by and high-fived him or shook his hand as they gushed congratulatory statements. He had done it—reelection to the US Senate for a fourth term.
He looked around for his wife. She should be here with him, he thought. Where is she? She needed to be by his side when he gave his statement to the press, which would be shortly.
It was only eleven o’clock. Pierce still had a long night in front of him. He didn’t mind—in fact, he relished it. He felt reenergized tonight, more like someone in his thirties than someone who had recently celebrated his sixtieth birthday. Nothing like a big win in a national election to rejuvenate a man.
His party had a chance to regain control of the Senate after it had languished in Republican hands for twelve long years. His friend in Ohio, Jim Fox, had a tough battle to unseat the Republican incumbent. He’d have to call him later to wish him well.
“NBC and CBS have called it too!” Perky screamed again, her voice growing hoarse. Pierce shook his head. No two ways about it, he liked her unbridled enthusiasm. And she wasn’t too hard on the eyes, either. He always told her she seemed like a smart girl and if she played her cards right, she could go far. No time for that now.
Pierce had to admit his campaign strategist, McGrory, had nailed this one several years ago. Give credit where credit is due. Forget tax the rich and universal health care—those were old stick-in-the-mud issues from your daddy’s Democrats. The sexy issue of the day was the environment. And just made to order was the threat of global warming. No, strike that—the crisis of global warming.
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