Yes, they’d had sex the night before, and it had been amazing. Surely Zane had to know that Dylan McKay, handsome as he was, didn’t strike her fancy. She’d gone because she’d promised and because she needed time away from Zane to clear her head, yet that entire afternoon and evening, she’d wondered if she’d made a mistake by going to Dylan’s.
“You know what I feel like doing?” Zane asked, breaking into her thoughts.
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“I feel like taking a dip.”
“In your Jacuzzi? That’s a good idea. I bet the warm water—”
“In the ocean, Jess. Tonight, after dinner.”
She pulled through the gates and drove along the winding road to his house. “I don’t know if that’s wise, Zane. You shouldn’t push it. You only just—”
“I’m going, Jess.” He set his face stubbornly, and she couldn’t think of anything to say to change his mind. “I’ve been confined long enough.”
Pulling into the garage, she cut the engine. “I get that, but I won’t be—”
Oh, shoot. He wasn’t going to like this.
“Won’t be what?”
“Home after dinner.”
“Another shopping trip?”
A lie could fall from her lips very easily. But she wasn’t going to lie to Zane. “No. I’m invited over to your neighbor’s house.”
Zane’s lips thinned. “Dylan again?”
“Adam Chase.”
Zane’s eyes sharpened on her. “You’re going over to Adam’s tonight?”
“I kind of didn’t give him a choice the other night. He was telling me about his new artwork, and I hinted at wanting to see it. I guess he was just being nice by inviting me over.” She’d been a little stunned and humbled when he’d asked her since, according to Zane, invitations from Adam were rare.
Zane closed his eyes briefly. “That’s Adam. Mr. Nice Guy.”
“You don’t think he is?”
Zane snorted. “I think he’s a genius. But I don’t know much about his personal life.”
“I don’t want to know about his personal life, either. This isn’t anything, Zane.” If only she could melt the disapproval off his face with an explanation. “It’s just me, being curious. The teacher in me loves learning.”
They’d been carefully dancing around what had happened between them. It seemed neither wanted to bring the subject up. So how could she admit that she’d rather be home with him? That after making love with him, it was better that they spend time apart. Too much alone time with him could prove disastrous. One disaster per decade was her limit. One disaster in her entire life would be preferable.
She cared deeply for Zane, thought he was gorgeous and more appealing than any man she’d ever met, but she couldn’t be dumb again. And that meant not reading too much into having sex with him, wonderful as it was. She rationalized it was all about healing. Isn’t that how Zane passed it off?
“I’m sure Adam wouldn’t mind if you joined me.”
He reached for the door handle. “I’ve seen his house, Jess. You go on. Have a nice time,” he said through tight lips.
She didn’t buy his comment for a second, but she clamped her mouth shut, and as he opened the car door, she rushed around the front end to meet him. Putting his good foot down, he braced his hands on the sides of the car and brought himself up and out.
“Lean on me,” she said. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I’ll make it just fine.”
She moved out of his way, and he walked slowly but on his own power, his boots scraping the garage floor as he made his way into the house.
Her shoulders fell, and black emptiness seemed to swallow her up. She wanted Zane to need her.
Or maybe, she just plain wanted Zane. Either way wasn’t an option. She couldn’t very well count the days until Mariah returned. Nobody knew when that would be.
But for the first time, she hoped it would be soon.
* * *
Zane leaned his elbows over his deck banister, grateful to be on his own two feet now. His gaze focused on Jess as she made her way down the deck steps to the beach. “Bye, Zane. I won’t be long.”
Her sultry voice hammered inside his brain. It was unique, and he was beginning to hear the slight nuances that differed from her sister’s. There was more sugary rasp and a lightness in her tone that made him think of only good things.
She held the straps of her heeled sandals up by two fingers and waved at him once her bare feet hit the sand. In her other hand, she held a flashlight to guide her way over to Adam’s house. It wasn’t too far, just about one hundred yards from back door to back door, but the half moon’s light wasn’t enough illumination on the darkened beach, so the flashlight was a good idea.
Her blond hair touched the top of a nipped-at-the-waist snowy white dress that flared out to just above her knees. She looked ethereal in a delicate way that would turn any man’s head.
“Bye” he heard himself growl, and lifted his hand up, a semiwave back, watching her trudge through the sand and out of his line of vision.
She was determined to go, yet he’d noted a flicker in her eyes earlier, a moment of doubt as if she waited for him to tell her to stay. He wanted her, and his newly healed body was in a state of arousal around her most of the time now, but he held back. He let her go off to another man’s house tonight instead of giving in to his lust.
Was he an idiot or being smart, for her sake?
His cell phone rang, and he plucked it from his pocket. It was probably Mariah. She’d been a saint, checking in and worrying about him when she was the one who needed the support. He’d had Jess send her flowers this morning to cheer her up.
He answered the ring. “Hello?”
“Hello, Zane. This is Mae.”
His brows rose. It wasn’t Mariah after all, but Jessica’s mother. “Hi, Mae. This is a nice surprise.”
“I hope so. Zane, how are you feeling these days?”
“Better. I’m out of my cast and healing up real good. And how are you, Mae?”
“I could be better. You know I’m an eternal worrier. And I’m worried about my Jess. I haven’t heard from her in three days.”
“Is that unusual?”
“Yes, very. She usually checks in with me every day or every other day. We’ve been playing phone tag over the weekend, and I can’t seem to reach her. She didn’t answer my call today. I wondered if something was wrong with her phone. Thought it’d be best to check in with you.”
“Well...I can assure you, she’s doing fine.”
“Really?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“That’s a relief. I thought after I gave her the news, she’d be crushed. My dear girl has been through a lot this past month. She can’t be happy about Steven.”
Steven? Just hearing the guy’s name made his hand ball into a fist. “What news is that, Mae?”
“I couldn’t hide it from my sweet girl. She didn’t need to hear it from anyone else but her mama.”
“Yes, I think you were right.” Zane hadn’t a clue what she was getting at, but he knew Mae. She’d eventually get around to telling him what was going on.
“Can you imagine her bridesmaid, Judy, running off with Steven to get married? Why, she’d been like a member of our family when the girls were younger. And Steven? I thought I knew that boy. I’d like to wallop both of them for the hurt they put my daughter through.”
His face tightened and he squeezed his eyes shut, wishing like hell he could give that jerk a piece of his mind. And to add to the insult, he’d run away with one of Jess’s good friends. A woman who’d vowed to stand up for her at her wedding.
Something clicked in his head. “Wait a minute, Mae. When did you tell Jess about t
his?”
“Oh, let me see. It must have been on Thursday. Yes, that’s right. I remember, because I was getting my hair done at the salon and, well, it was the talk of the entire beauty shop. I felt so bad when I heard, I walked out after my cut with a wet head, didn’t bother having my hair styled. All I kept thinking about was my Jess and how she would take the news. But you know, when I told her, I was surprised at her reaction. She seemed calm. I think she was in shock. Have you noticed anything different about her, lately?”
Had he? Hell, yeah. Now he understood her transformation. She’d dyed her hair blond, gotten rid of her eyeglasses, starting wearing provocative clothes. Was it rebellion? Or worse yet, had Jess decided to throw caution to the wind and... No, he wouldn’t let his mind go there. She wasn’t promiscuous. She was a woman who’d been betrayed by people she trusted. He could only imagine what hearing that news did to her.
And what had he done? She’d come into the room the night of party and he’d shot her down, doing the unthinkable by telling her she looked like Janie in a voice that held nothing but disapproval. He’d been selfish, thinking only about how much it hurt to look at her that way. If he was damn honest with himself, seeing that daring side of Jess had excited him. He hadn’t known how to handle his initial reaction to her. She almost didn’t go to the party because he’d given her a hard time about the way she looked, gorgeous as she was.
And he’d been jealous because he couldn’t have her, and yet he didn’t want any other man going after her, either. Wow. What a revelation.
“Zane, I asked if Jessica has been acting differently lately?”
Uh, yeah. But in this case, he saw no reason not to bend the truth a little. “She’s been keeping busy, Mae. She tells me she likes the work. And she’s made a few friends here, too. She seems to fit in real nice. In fact, she’s visiting my neighbor now. When she comes in, I’ll be sure to tell her you called.”
“I’m happy about that, Zane. I knew coming to stay with you would be good for her.”
Zane scrunched his face up. He’d taken Mae’s daughter to bed, and if he had his way, he would do so again. His mind muddied up, and he didn’t understand any of it other than that Jess was under his roof and getting under his skin. He felt for her and the hurt she’d gone through. Nothing about liking her seemed wrong, even though he could count the bullet points in his mind why he shouldn’t.
“I can’t thank you enough. You know how much I love my girls.”
Her comment dug deep into his heart. Mae would never stop loving Janie. She always spoke of her as if she were still with them. Zane loved that about her. “Yep, I know, Mae.”
“So tell me what you’ve been doing. That’s if you have the time.”
“I have the time. Let’s see, the restaurant is coming along as scheduled and...”
Thirty minutes later, after he’d hung up with Mae, he sat down with his guitar and strummed lightly to reacquaint himself to the feel of the instrument in his hands and the resiliency of the strings. He had words in his head struggling to get out, lyrics that were just beginning to flow, and he jotted them down as he struck chord after chord. The pick in his hand felt awkward at first, but he pressed on.
Thoughts of Jess distracted him. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and what Mae had revealed. He wanted to protect her. Yet he desired her. Her heartache scored his heart. He felt sorry for her, but not enough to keep his distance. He was conflicted, as Dylan would say. He needed some release.
Only a dunk in the ocean would help clear his mind and cool his body.
And minutes later, dressed in his swim trunks, he made his way to the shoreline and dived straight in, propelling his arms and legs past the shallow waters, pushing his body to the limit.
* * *
After enjoying a pleasant visit with Adam and declining his offer to walk her home, she trudged across the beach alone. Cool sand squished between her toes as she made her way to the shoreline, where the moist grains under her feet became smoother, making it much easier to move. She knew this beach; she’d walked it in the mornings many times.
As she entered Zane’s home, silence surrounded her. It was too quiet for this time of the evening. Zane never turned in before ten. “Zane? Are you here?”
Nothing.
“Zane?” She stepped into the office, then the kitchen, and peeked into his bedroom.
There was no sign of him.
She sighed wearily and shook her head. He must have gone for a swim in the ocean. Half a dozen worries entered her head about his night swim. Geesh, he’d just gotten his cast off. What was the doggone rush?
Hurrying to her room, she flung off her clothes and put on her bathing suit. In her haste to rid herself of the old Jess, she’d tossed out her one-piece swimsuits she’d brought from Texas, which left her with the daring bikini she’d bought the other day. She slipped into it and then wiggled a T-shirt over her head. Without wasting a second, she strode down the stairs, grabbed her flashlight and ventured out the sliding door.
If she were lucky, she’d find Zane walking toward the house, whistling a happy tune.
Who was she kidding? Luck wasn’t with her lately. Zane’s towel was on the beach, which meant he was out there somewhere. The crashing waves that usually lulled her to sleep made her wary now. Her flashlight pointed out to sea illuminated only a narrow strip of water at a time. She squinted, trying to make out shapes, searching corridors of ocean, back and forth. “Zane! Zane!”
She couldn’t find him. Nibbling her lip, she paced the beach, aiming her flashlight onto the water over and over. She’d never swum in the ocean before coming to California, but she’d quickly learned how the currents could take you away, making you drift in one direction or another. She’d start out in front of Zane’s house and wind up hundreds of feet away when it was time to come in. Those currents had to be stronger at night, more powerful and...
She spotted something. A head bobbing in the water? She pointed the flashlight and struggled to focus. Yep, someone was out there. But then the form dropped down as if being swallowed up by the sea. She ran into the surf, targeting that bit of water with the flashlight. “Zane!” she shouted, but her voice was muted by the crash of the waves.
He couldn’t hear her. He was out past the shallows. She waited several long seconds for him to reappear. She prayed that he would. She couldn’t see much, only what the moonlight and stars and her flashlight allowed, but she’d always had a good sense of direction. She knew the exact spot where she’d seen him go down.
“Oh, God. Zane!”
With no time to waste, she dived in, her arms pumping, her feet kicking, fighting against the tide. She swam as fast as she ever had in her life, her eyes trying to focus on the spot she’d seen him. She was almost there, a little farther, just another few strokes.
A thunderous sound boomed in her ears. She looked up. Oh, no. A monstrous wave was coming toward her like a coiling snake. It was too late to get out of its path. The pounding surf reached her in midstroke. The force slammed her back. She flew in the air and belly-flopped facedown against a sheet of ocean as hard as a slab of granite.
Waves buried her, and she sputtered for breath.
Seconds later, she felt herself being lifted, her head popping above the water. She gasped.
“Jess.”
Zane. He’d come for her. How did he get here? As she struggled to catch her breath, he half dragged, half swam her to the shallows by floating on his back and keeping her head above water. Once he got his footing, he stopped and stood upright in the water, then scooped her into his arms, carrying her to the beach.
He laid her down carefully away from high tide. The sand granules scratched at her back, but she was never happier to be on dry land. And Zane was safe. That mattered just as much.
He fell to his knees beside her. Huffing breat
hs, he shook his head. “You gave me a scare.”
He bent to her, pushing aside the locks of hair hiding her face, and his magnificent eyes were soft and concerned. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I’m okay. Got the wind knocked out of me.”
“You almost drowned, sweetheart. What on earth were you doing?”
She filled her lungs with oxygen, this time without gulping water along with it. “Saving you,” she said quietly. “I thought I saw you out there, going under.”
Zane’s eyes were warm on her face, the heat enough to keep the cool drops on her body from freezing. His hands were working wonders, too, caressing her cheeks and stroking her chin, heating her up in ways no other man ever had. He rasped softly, “You mean you thought I was drowning, and you risked your life to save me?”
She nodded.
“That wasn’t me, sweetheart.”
“It wasn’t? I saw someone go under. I thought for sure you were out there.”
“I was. I lasted only ten minutes before I came in. What you saw was probably a school of sea lions. They frequent the shallower waters here at night. I’ve seen one of them pop a head up and then go under and, yeah...I guess in the dark, it might look like a swimmer out there.”
“Then how...how did you find me?”
“After my swim, I took a long walk. Thankfully, I returned just in time to hear you calling my name. Took me only a second to figure out where you were.”
He began to rub her arms and legs. She was cold, but that didn’t stop her from reacting to his touch. As warmth spread through her body, her gentle cooing seemed to draw Zane’s attention to her lips. “That feels good,” she said.
“Tell me about it.” The corner of his mouth crooked up.
His palms heated her through and through, her skin highly sensitized to his touch. She was overwhelmed with relief that he hadn’t drowned and grateful that he’d saved her, but there was more...so much more that she was feeling right now. “Thank you, Zane.”
Her Forbidden Cowboy Page 11
