by Beth Ehemann
“Absolutely,” I said, staring at Piper, looking for any small movement. “Except right now, I don’t feel like my heart is beating at all, it’s inactive. It won’t beat again until she’s awake and smiling at me.”
She reached over and squeezed my hand.
“Oh, I almost forgot-” she paused and dug for something in her purse. She pulled out a plastic bag and handed it to me.
“Thanks,” I said, confused.
“Brody got them in the gift shop, asked me to give them to you.”
I peeked into the bag, breaking out into a huge grin when I saw the light blue fluffy hospital slippers.
“He tried to find you flip flops, but this is all they had.”
Brody’s constant fuss to take care of me made me feel something I’d never really felt before … special. Most girls swoon over things like diamonds and fancy cars. For me, all it took was shampoo and hospital slippers.
“He’s very sweet. You’ve raised a great man.” I smiled at her.
“He is a great guy, I agree, but this new side of him, this attentive side is something I think was brought on entirely by you.”
My head snapped up at her. “Me?”
“Kacie, he talks about you and the girls constantly. I know I just met you, but I feel like I already know you. You’ve made such an impact on him in such a short period of time. It’s remarkable. You’ve changed his life.”
I’d cried so much today that I didn’t think my body was capable of making more tears, but there they were, threatening to fall again. “He’s changed mine too,” I said, staring down at the slippers through my blurred vision.
“Knock, knock.” Brody pushed the door open slightly. “Can I come in?”
JoAnn smiled at her son and waved him in. “Of course, honey.”
He walked across the room and sat down on the couch next to me, resting his arm along the top. I could tell he was giving me space and waiting for me to give him the okay, but that wasn’t gonna happen.
He stared straight at Piper, clenching his jaw. “How is she?”
“She’s okay, still sedated.”
His head turned and his eyes bore into mine. “They still have her sedated?”
“Yeah,” I nodded slowly, “it’s normal though, don’t worry. They’re just giving her brain a break.”
“How about you? Do you need a break?”
“Me?” My eyebrows shot up. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Kacie, you’ve barely left the room since we got here this morning and it’s almost dinnertime. When was the last time you ate, got some fresh air?”
I stared at Piper; the thought of leaving her like this was too painful. “I can’t leave her, not yet.”
“Kacie? If I may, honey, you said yourself, they have her sedated … why don’t you go get something to eat and step out for a bit? Might do you some good. I’ll stay here with her until you guys get back.” JoAnn’s lips curled slightly into a tight, reassuring smile.
Brody stood and held his hand out to me.
I was too tired to argue.
“I’ll just be gone a few minutes,” I said to JoAnn who stood to hug me again on our way out.
“No problem, honey. Take your time.”
Brody and I started toward the waiting room when I froze.
“Wait.” I looked down at my blood stained t-shirt. “Is there another way down to the gift shop? I don’t want Lucy to see me like this.”
“We’ll find one.” He pulled me the other direction.
We weaved our way left and right through empty, white hallways until we finally found the lobby.
“Thanks.” I smiled up at him and gently tried to pull my hand back, but he squeezed me tighter.
“Don’t.”
I wanted more than anything to wrap my arms around him and just be, but he wasn’t mine, he never would be, and holding his hand just made things harder.
I sighed. “Brody-”
“Not today.” He cut me off. “We’re going to talk soon, but not today. Today I need to hold your hand as bad as you need to hold mine, so just don’t.”
A few minutes later, we walked out of the gift shop and headed toward the cafeteria. I was sporting a brand new light pink “World’s Greatest Aunt” t-shirt.
We didn’t talk, just shuffled hand in hand through the hallway. At that moment I was so drawn into myself, deep in thought about everything that had happened, Brody was my lifeline to the outside world. He apologized when I bumped into people as he led me to a table in the back of the cafeteria.
“Sit down, I’ll be right back.” He ordered gently.
I sat and quietly looked down at the wood laminate table fully aware that people were staring—either at Brody or the depressed girl he walked in with—and I was in no mood to return fake smiles.
He returned a short time later and sat across from me, setting down a turkey sandwich, a salad, a banana, chocolate pudding, a bag of Cheetos, a bottle of water and chocolate milk.
I frowned and looked up at him. “How hungry do you think I am?”
“I don’t know,” he shook his head, smiling slightly, “I just wanted to make sure you ate something.”
We were quiet while I ate, but it felt like a big, white elephant was sitting at the table with us. He said we weren’t going to talk today and I appreciated that. I didn’t think I could form a sentence that made sense, nor did I have the will to push him away again. I felt so weak that had he said one sweet thing to me, I would’ve caved and lost myself in his arms.
I nibbled at the turkey sandwich and ate half the banana while he devoured everything else. We threw away the garbage and walked back up to the waiting room in silence. I was so anxious to wrap my arms around Lucy; I was almost jogging. As soon as I saw her, I dropped to my knees as she threw her arms around my neck, knocking me back.
Trying hard to remain strong and upbeat, I couldn’t help the few tears that escaped. I sat cross-legged on the hospital waiting room floor with Lucy curled up in my lap for several minutes, just feeling her breathe and smelling her hair. I wanted to run in that room, scoop Piper up and hold her just like this.
“Mommy, when does Piper get to come home?”
The knot in my stomach grew. “I’m not sure, baby. We have to wait and see what the doctor’s say, okay?”
“Can I go see her?” she asked.
I looked up at Brody, whose eyes went wide as he shook his head back and forth slightly.
“Oh, baby. She’s resting right now, she can’t talk back to you.”
Her head snapped up to look at me, “I know, Mom, but I want to talk to her. Please?”
I never had a sibling so I would never understand that bond they had, and being twins only made that bond stronger.
“Okay,” I sighed, “come on.”
“Is that really a good idea?” Brody asked nervously.
I shrugged, “I have no idea.”
We walked through the automatic doors as I silently prayed for a nurse to stop us and say that Lucy wasn’t allowed in. No one did, they just gave us sympathetic smiles as we walked by. We got to Piper’s room, and Lucy reached up and held my hand, squeezing it tightly.
“You’re sure you want to go in here?”
She nodded and Brody put his hand on her shoulder.
I pushed the door open and watched Lucy’s face closely as she took in her surroundings. Her brown eyes were wide as they darted around the room, finally settling on her sister. My mom and JoAnn stopped talking and stared at Lucy.
Lucy looked up at me. “Can she hear me?”
“Yep, but she can’t answer you. Wanna sit next to her?”
She nodded again as I lifted her up onto the foot of the bed next to Piper. Her eyes inspected every inch of her sister, from the IV to the dried blood in her hair.
“Does that hurt?” She pointed to the IV.
“Nope.” I tucked a piece of her blonde hair behind her tiny ear.
This time she pointed to the oxy
gen mask on Piper’s face, “Does that hurt?”
“Not at all.”
“I bet those hurt.” She stretched, trying to see the staples in Piper’s head.
“Those probably would have hurt, but she was asleep when they put them in, so she didn’t feel it. Her head will probably be sore when she wakes up though.”
Lucy paused, “Is she gonna wake up?”
Her question sent me into a tailspin. My chest grew tight and I couldn’t breathe, The room felt like it was spinning so fast, I couldn’t focus my eyes on any one thing.
“Whoa, whoa. You okay?” Brody reached out and grasped my shoulders.
“Yeah, I just feel a little woozy,” I panted.
“Come sit here, by the window,” my mom said, jumping up as JoAnn reached behind them and cranked the window open slightly.
I leaned my arm on the windowsill and rested my head on it, taking slow, deep breaths of the fresh air that blew inside. The conversation behind me turned into mumbles as I blocked it out, concentrating on nothing but breathing.
“You okay?” JoAnn gently rubbed my shoulders.
I looked up at her and cracked a small smile. “I think so. This day has just been … overwhelming.”
“I’m sure it has.” She sat down next to me. “I think we’re gonna get going—if you don’t need anything else?”
“No, I’m good.” I pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you for coming. It means so much to me.”
She squeezed back, tight. “Oh, honey. No problem, I wish there were more we could do.”
“I think we’re gonna go too.” Mom walked up. “I need to get Lucy home to bed, it’s been a long day for her.”
I hugged my mom and scooped Lucy up in my arms, covering her face with kisses. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy. If Piper wakes up, tell her I’m not mad at her for getting her blood on my floaties.”
I chuckled. “Okay, baby. I’ll tell her.”
Mom, Lucy and JoAnn made their way to the door, Brody walking behind them. “Thanks for all your help today,” I said as I softly rubbed his arm.
He looked surprised. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m just walking them out.”
“Oh,” my eyebrows shot up, “you’re staying for awhile?”
“Or for the night.” He laughed. “I’m not leaving you here alone.”
I didn’t argue, I was glad he was staying with me.
The next morning, my back was screaming at me and my neck was sore. Sleeping on a hospital couch was never comfortable. Ever. I cracked my eyes open as soon as the sun filled the room and peeked at Piper who looked the same. I sat up and stretched, a white blanket slipping off my lap. I didn’t even have to think hard about who covered me.
I looked over at Brody, sleeping on a chair with his feet propped up on the end of Piper’s bed. His hands were locked and resting on his stomach, while his mouth hung open. I didn’t even remember falling asleep last night; the last thing I remembered was him asking me if I needed anything to drink.
Slipping quietly into the bathroom, I washed my pale face and pulled a new toothbrush out of the package that was sitting on the counter. I knew who put that there also.
“How’s our girl this morning?”
I hurried out of the room and saw Dr. Wagner standing next to Piper’s bed. Brody was sitting up, rubbing his eyes with his palms.
“Good Morning.” I walked up next to them.
“We’re gonna take our all-star patient for another CT scan, and we’ll make our further decisions based on that, okay?”
I nodded, still in a daze as a nurse came in and swiftly unhooked Piper from her machines before wheeling her out the door.
“That was fast.” Brody yawned.
“Yeah, we need good news on this scan.” I hugged myself, suddenly cold from nerves.
He tilted his head and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. “Think positive, I have a good feeling about this one.”
I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand slightly.
“You wanna take a shower?” I snapped my head up, trying to keep from making physical contact with him.
He sighed. “Yeah, I’ll go quick.”
I paced the room nervously while Brody showered, praying over and over for Piper’s body to have begun healing itself already.
The door opened a little while later, Piper’s bed rolling through it. The nurse smiled as she pushed her into the room and hooked her back up to her machines.
“It’ll be just a few minutes.” She offered on her way out the door.
I already knew that, but didn’t bother responding.
Brody came out of the bathroom, freshly showered but wearing the same clothes.
He looked down at himself and shrugged. “Sorry, it’s all I got.”
I laughed. “Have you seen me? Trust me, I’m not judging you.”
“You look brave,” he said softly. “You look like a woman whose heart has been ripped open and is bleeding out all over the place, but you’re so damn concerned about everyone else, you haven’t even bothered to take care of your own wounds.”
My eyes stung. “My wounds can wait,” I said in a shaky voice.
Dr. Wagner came back in the room. He was a huge man, easily as tall as Brody and quite built. His black hair had gray speckles around the temples and his Polo eyeglasses balanced on the tip of his pointy nose.
“Guess who’s coming off her sleepy meds?”
“Really?” I clapped my hands together as my heart pounded wildly.
“Really, really. Her CT looked good, swelling went down. We’ll probably keep her one more night just to watch her, but we’re going to wean her off her meds in the next hour. Then it’s up to her to pull herself out. Her brain function looks great, no permanent damage.”
Tears rolled down my face as I lunged forward and hugged Dr. Wagner.
“Thank you, thank you so much.”
He laughed. “Thank her, she’s a tough little girl.”
I pulled back and looked at Brody who was wiping his own eyes.
“Okay, Mom and Dad, just hang tight and we’ll get this process started in a few minutes.” Dr. Wagner said.
“Oh, we’re not-”
Brody reached out and grabbed my arm. “Thank you, Doctor,” he interrupted, reaching out to shake the doctor’s hand.
Dr. Wagner narrowed his eyes and studied Brody’s face. “You look really familiar. Have you done any acting?”
Brody smirked and shook his head, giving a quick wave as Dr. Wagner turned and left the room.
He looked at me and wiggled his brows up and down. “Except for when I pretend to be the baby daddy.”
I grinned and shook my head, elated that this horrible ordeal was going to turn out okay.
A jolt of pain shot through my neck as I lifted my head to look at my phone and check the time.
Who the hell is banging on my door at 7:15 in the morning?
I pushed myself off the couch and rubbed my eyes as I slowly walked toward the door.
“Open up, Brody,” Andy bellowed from the other side.
I opened the door and almost fell back as he marched past me.
“Since when do you put your deadbolt on? I don’t have a key for that,” he accused.
“Sorry,” I followed him into the living room and lay down on the couch, “my brain is a little fuzzy.”
He sat back on the leather chair across from me. His face was tight and I could tell he was anxious. “Where have you been? I called you all day Sunday and yesterday. You never returned my calls.”
I’d spent the last two days at the hospital with Kacie and barely even looked at my phone.
“I was up north. I got home late last night, really late.” I yawned.
“Oh. I thought you were just dodging my calls.” His tone relaxed slightly. “Up north? You two seeing each other again?”
“No, I don’t know. It was a crazy weekend.”
He frowned and blink
ed at me, waiting for me to elaborate.
“I went to the charity event with Shae on Saturday, then went up north Sunday to try and talk to Kacie. We barely started talking and there was an accident with one of her daughters.”
His eyes grew wide. “What happened?”
“Some asshole in the lake was driving his WaveRunner around like a dick and came in too close, ran her over.” My heart raced as I thought about that moment all over again … Piper on the ground with blood under her head, the pure fear splayed across Kacie’s face as she stared at her daughter. Lucy curled up in my arms covering her face from the events unfolding around her. I would give anything to be in a room alone with that guy for ten minutes.
“Holy shit.”
“Holy shit is right, it was intense. Beyond intense.” I rubbed my eyes with my palms, trying to force the images out of my head.
“Is she okay?”
“She has a concussion and she looks pretty beat up, but she will be okay. She woke up yesterday and the first thing she asked for was ice cream.” I chuckled. “She’s going home this morning.”
“You didn’t stay up there to take her home?”
My stomach tightened. “I wanted to, but I didn’t want to push Kacie. I’d already been there for two days and she thanked me over and over for it, but I’m trying to give her space, especially now with this stuff with Piper. As bad as I want to force her to talk to me, Piper needs her more.”
Andy sighed and locked his hands on top of his head, looking up at the ceiling. “Listen, about all this Kacie stuff … I just want you to know I don’t blame you for going off on Blaire, or for firing me.”
“I’m glad you understand about Blaire, she deserved it.” I looked him straight in the eye. “And I’m sorry about the firing thing, but I can’t have her interfering with my personal life because she thinks I need to concentrate on hockey. I won’t let that happen.”
“I know. I get it.” He sighed. “I’m not worried about the money part, Brody I just hope that we’re okay.”
“You and Blaire?”
He laughed. “I couldn’t give two shits about how Blaire and I are at the moment. She has some major work to do on herself or I’m taking the kids and I’m gone. I told her that.”
