by Summer, AJ
“We should’ve discussed it first,” I say softly.
“And you would’ve tried talking him out of it. And then he would’ve felt even worse leaving you behind. It would’ve been real messy.” That makes even more sense. Still, he hurt me … and now he’s making it better again. So this is a pointless conversation.
“We’re fine now,” I say as nicely as possible and also ending the conversation about Jase leaving. “This is going to make a great book nook,” I change the subject, peering out of the window. When the leaves fall she’ll have a perfect view of the other houses, too. Jenna loves to read, me, I love to write. When I’m not writing though, there’s nothing better than reading a good book.
“Want to help me unpack these?” She gets up and walks over to two boxes. She flips the first one open and exposes the books inside.
“Sure.”
We start unpacking the books, me from the bottom shelf, flat on my bum, and her from the top shelf. The smell of the pages filling the air. It is the best darn smell on earth. Her and Kyle use to rearrange her mother’s bookshelf. It was always in perfect alphabetical order. After they were done with it, it was enough to drive anyone off a cliff, never mind that ever in control woman!
“I saw Kyle yesterday.” Her gasp and the clatter of falling books make me duck in fear of a head injury. Maybe I should rephrase. “Or I thought I heard him,” I say quickly. Jenna stares at me with slitted eyes.
“Eh...huh?” I laugh a bitter sounding hackle.
“At that coffee shop that Parker inherited. Jase took me to dinner. Those guys? The ones who bashed Aiden with the bat where there too. They were arguing with Parker. There was another guy with them but I couldn’t see his face. He sounded just like Kyle,” I explain, flipping the cover of the book in my lap.
“Jeez Mia, for a second I thought you could see ghosts. So you didn’t actually see Kyle?”
Why did I bring this up? Maybe because I’m his twin and the more I think about it, the more it’s bugging me. I’m not sure if I imagined it or not.
“No. I didn’t see him. He was wearing a cap and he had his back towards me.” I sigh. I sound deranged. Jenna watches me with a curious look on her face.
“Do you think we would’ve been married by now?” Her voice is barely a whisper.
“Who? You and Kyle?” She nods. Maybe I’m not the only one with unanswered questions.
“Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still hear his voice. It doesn’t sound quite right anymore, but I can almost remember his laugh. His eyes. He had the most striking eyes.” She takes a deep breath. “I loved him so much, Mia.”
I reach for her hand and cover it with mine. “Things worked out the way they were supposed to. Kyle would’ve wanted you to be happy.”
Jenna sniffs and wipes a lone tear from her eye. “I know.”
We meet the guys downstairs. After we finished unpacking Jenna’s books she took me for a tour of the house. Now I’m even more jealous. I even told her I was coming over to her house for my morning showers. Her shower can easily fit four people!
Jase stands up when we enter the room. He stretches his arms above his head and gives a big yawn. The sight is absolutely adorable, except for the sliver of skin visible between his shirt and jeans, that’s just sinful. My fingers itch to touch it.
“You ready to go?” he asks.
“Yes.” I turn to Jenna and Aiden. “You have a beautiful home.”
I wrap a proud-looking Aiden in a quick hug. He did good. Despite her sad moment upstairs Jenna is extremely happy. She has a husband who loves her and who she loves to the moon and back. As for her question about her and Kyle? My answer is no. Because somehow the two in front of me would’ve found their way to each other. They were just meant to be. I give Jenna a hug too, and our group leaves their happy home behind. Now it’s back to mine, that I’m soon going to be sharing with only James and Lewis - with Ana's sudden disappearance I doubt he’ll be moving out now. We pull up to our house and the sadness that’s been haunting me since Jenna told me they were moving out is gone. It doesn’t hit me when I open the door and I know they aren’t here. Their next part of their lives together has started, exactly as it should. Now the rest of us just need to follow.
cinder
Noun
A small piece of burned or partly burned substance that is not reduced to ashes …
Jase’s mouth is hot on my belly, his tongue dipping into my belly button before swirling it around. He places soft wet kisses lower, teasing the edge of my panties with his tongue. My breath is racing, my pulse beating loudly with anticipation. He moves down, kisses and biting through my cotton panties. Maybe I wasn’t thinking this seduction thing through after I planned it last night. I should’ve worn something sexier. He slides his hands down my hips until his fingers hook under the elastic. My body arches, trying to bring his mouth closer, his breath is hot and damp on my fevered skin. Ever so slowly he starts pulling my underwear down. I don’t want slow, my body writhes desperately beneath his teasing mouth. His answering growl to my impatience is deep and incredibly hot, the sound vibrating through my body.
Mia? … Mia? … Mia? My eyes shoot open. Why does he sound like the lead singer of my favorite band? Mia? He calls again. I shake my head, trying to focus, but all I can see is the ceiling. Was I dreaming? Jase did spend the night but his side of the bed is empty now. The sound that woke me up is still echoing in my head or is it? I lift my phone when I realize that’s what I’ve been hearing. ‘Mom’ flashes across the screen. No wonder Jase was suddenly starring in a rock band, singing my favorite song. I throw my head back onto my pillow and blow out my cheeks. That was some dream! Why does Mom have to call right now?
“Hi Mom.” I pull the phone away from my ear to save my ear drums from her cheery morning greeting. I did not get that part of her gene compilation. I hate mornings. It’s one of my least favorite things to do. “I'm fine thanks,” I reply to her question. I don’t bother asking how she is because I can already hear by how great she sounds.
Mom tells me about a road trip her and Aunt Kim are going on; some garden expo or something. Mom’s been doing really great for herself. She was helping Aunt Kim at her truck stop diner over on route 18, but was soon promoted and now she runs it all on her own. Her years of waitressing in crappy restaurants since dad’s death are finally paying off.
“I have to work all day. It’s my Sunday,” I answer when she asks what I’m doing today. “Actually, um Jase is here. Or he was. I’m not sure where he is now,” I answer with hesitation when she asks about him. Mom loves Jase and asks about him every time we talk. She starts telling me how she knew it was just going to take time. Then she jumps straight into how she’s going to beat his ass for leaving in the first place.
“I have to go Mom. Or I’ll be late for work.” For once I’m not going to be late, but I don’t want to discuss how disappointed she is about him leaving. I’ve heard it a hundred times already. I almost tell her about Kyle but Aunt Kim calls her from somewhere on the other side of the phone and she says a hurried goodbye.
“Ok, bye Mom. I love you.”
After my conversation with Jenna last night I’ve made peace with the fact that Jase left me behind. He did it to save me from something he didn’t think I could handle. He should’ve given me the chance to at least try. But it is done. It’s no use dwelling on something that can’t be undone. But in the process he incinerated our old relationship to ash. Now it’s time to start over. We’re already building something so much more. I don’t need Superman, I don’t want a hero. I just want him. He doesn’t need to save me. I don’t need to save him. We’ve already done that for ourselves. We’re whole, we’re happy. And now we can be happy together.
The man I’m discussing with the voices in my head walks through my door with a cup of coffee, and he’s only wearing boxers. Those damn things hug his body so tightly, clinging for dear life onto his flesh. I would too. In fact I’m thinking of doin
g it right now.
“Thanks,” I murmur, having a hard time pulling my eyes away from the mouthwatering sight in front of me. It’s a miracle I don’t burn myself with the steaming cup he just handed me. Jase leans over to place a kiss on my head. That brings his tight stomach right next to my mouth. My tongue automatically darts out to taste the delicious skin in front of it. Jase jerks away from me, almost tripping over my shoes laying next to the bed. He gives me a wide-eyed look, one that I return with my own ‘oh so innocent’ flutter of lashes.
I want him. I’m done waiting. I stretch out of bed and step over to him. I only slept in my underwear and his t-shirt last night. The one he wore to the housewarming. My hands span flat against his stomach, feeling the warm stretch of skin. I love the way he feels. My body goes into warm up mode just by touching him. I lean closer, closing my teeth around his bottom lip. The silver piercing teases my tongue. His hands grab onto my waist, his grip tight. He isn’t kissing me back yet. But he will. I grab the hoop between my teeth and tug it gently. He hisses and his hold on me tightens even more. His lips start to move against mine slowly, too slow. I don’t want him to be gentle. I want him out of control. I want him to ... burn!
My hands move higher, caressing his chest and shoulders. My tongue tangles with his, kissing him with everything in my heart. I want him to feel all these new feelings swirling inside of me. Jase lifts me up, takes two steps and lays me down on the bed, his body hovering over mine. Intense green eyes look down at me. Whatever he’s searching for, I hope he finds it. He dips his head slowly towards my mouth and places a tantalizing soft kiss to my bottom lip before continuing his trail along my jaw. I tip my head back, offering him whatever he wants. He can take it all. I don’t care what is left of me when he’s done. As long as I can have him here and now.
His fingers are in my hair, stroking the brown strands that are tangling around my face. The other has a death grip on my hip, keeping me in place. My hands wander over his back and up to his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. He allows it and comes freely until his weight presses me gently into the bed. He continues kissing every part of me, all of my face and neck that’s not covered with his shirt. Soft moans are escaping my mouth, it’s impossible not to let him know how much I need his mouth on me right now.
Jase lifts my shirt over my head and throws it somewhere behind us. His chest touches my bare skin, causing me to break out in delectable shivers. His lips meet mine, softly, teasingly, kissing my lips until his tongue slips inside. Jase doesn’t stop his kissing while removing my panties. I have a lot less finesse as I battle with his boxers. When both garments are discarded, Jase settles in between my legs. He breaks the kiss and looks down into my eyes. The look he gives me makes my heart swell to a level that makes me fear it’ll explode and paint the room in glitter. I don’t think I can live without ever seeing this look again. If true love ever had a look it would be the one he’s giving me right now.
Jase slips inside of me with a gentle thrust. The sensation of us becoming one, make us both moan. His hands find my face, his thumb stroking softly along my bottom lip. He moves unhurried, stoking an inferno that promises to engulf us both in waves of fire. His eyes never stray, his thumb never leaves my mouth and his thrusts never falter. Not even when my nails dig into his back, the only way I can hold onto him as he pushes me over the edge and into a freefall of exploding stars. My breathing is a ragged beat, my hair damp, my eyes are teary for reasons unknown, but my heart? That broken messy part of me? It’s so damn full right now and it’s all love for this man. Jase finds his moment with his face buried in my neck. He squeezes me so tightly that I have to stop breathing. When his breathing returns to normal and he slips out from inside of me, I tighten my hold on him. Not ready for him to go yet.
We lay there, in each other’s arms, sharing heartbeats and breathing the same breath for a long time. That is until I remember I still have to get ready for work. I stir underneath him, causing him to smirk at me wickedly.
“Uh no,” I say, laughing. “I have to take a shower or I’ll be late.” I sigh. I give him a playful shove and he rolls to the side.
Grabbing his shirt off the floor I slip it over my head and hurry into the bathroom. I turn on the water for the shower to warm up and brush my teeth. After I’ve rinsed my mouth I jump under the water. I’m busy washing my hair when I feel his hand on my belly. His fingers tease over my skin, his mouth kisses gently over the swell of my breast. Peeking an eye open I catch a glimpse of the naughty grin on his face. Jase kneels in front of me, kissing his way down my body. My head falls back against the shower wall on a long moan. I don’t think I hate mornings anymore.
“I’m sorry I can’t stay with you,” Jase murmurs against my forehead. I pull away from him to look him in the eye.
“Don’t say it like that. It’s just work.” I laugh, pushing his shoulder. He scowls.
“A long day at work. I’ll see you tonight, okay? I have some things to do at Ray’s.” He seals his mouth against mine in a head spinning kiss, before gently pushing me out of the open car door.
“See you later,” I call, before hopping down. I close the door and wave him off. I don’t mind working alone on Sundays, and besides I owe Alec and Livvy for the last couple of months.
I unlock the door to ‘Alec’s Tattoos and Piercings’ and push it closed behind me when I step inside. I switch on the overhead TV screens and select a music channel from the remote, flicking lights on as I go. I plug in the register and set up my station. Then walk to the kitchen and switch on the coffee machine and set up a brew before I go back to the front. Taking a last look around to make sure everything is in place, I walk to the window and flip the sign to open.
A song I’ve heard on the radio starts playing on the music channel. It’s such a great song that I hum the unknown words all the way to the kitchen. I make a mental reminder to check this new Superman song out on Google later, while I fix myself a cup of coffee. I blow on the hot liquid in my cup and walk to the register out front. The appointment book is in its usual place. Livvy likes her things just right. The many empty slots make me sigh in defeat. It’s going to be a long day. I have two clients booked. Three hours apart.
I take a seat behind the register and wait. In less than five minutes I’m bored, my cup is empty and it isn’t even 10am yet. I pull a piece of note paper closer and a pencil from Livvy’s tin. Doodling senseless circles while watching a diva shaking her half naked behind on TV. I don’t feel like drawing and have no need to write. But watching this nonsense is going to turn my brain to soup.
If I wished upon a star,
My wish would be for you.
Not because you are far,
Or near. Or even hard to find.
I’d wish for that perfect bind,
The one with a ring of some kind.
I don’t care if it’s silver or gold,
As long as you’ll have me till I’m old.
I don’t care if it’s in church, or under skies of blue.
I just want us to be together darling,
This I promise is true.
We can spend our forever
In each other’s arms, because you are something I’ll always treasure.
All of you,
And all of me,
Maybe someday we’ll be three-
I shove the piece of paper under the counter when the door bell chimes. Lewis walks in with a box of donuts.
“Isn’t it too early for donuts?” I ask with raised brows. He scoffs, sliding the box onto the counter in front of me. He lifts the lid and I’m greeted with a mouthwatering smell. I retract my statement; it’s never too early for donuts. Delicious jellies taunt me from inside.
“Not so smart now, are ya?” He smirks, grabs a donut and takes a big bite. Pushing the box closer to me, he urges me to take one. He won’t have to tell me twice. Yummy powdered sugar melts on my tongue and I close my eyes in delight. “Good?” Lewis mumbles with his mouth full.
“Thanks for breakfast,” I say, smiling.
“Pleasure,” he responds, wiping his mouth with his own serviette. “It’s quiet.”
“My first client is due to arrive any minute now,” I say, looking up at the clock on the wall.
His phone rings from inside his jeans pocket. He stands up and pulls it out to look at the screen. He scrunches his brow, tilting his head, looking between me and the phone.
“Hi,” he says quickly. “Yeah.” Pause. “Yup.” Pause. A nod of his head, which makes me laugh. He turns his back on me. “Yesss,” he draws out on an annoyed sigh. “I’m here now.” A quick look over his shoulder at me. “I don’t think so.” He faces away from me. It’s all very weird. “Bye.” He turns back to me and quickly sticks the phone back into his pocket. Then he sits down like nothing happened.
“Who was that?” I ask.
“No one. Uh, I mean it was Jenna. No, it wasn’t Jenna, it was Dad. Sorry, I’m thinking of Jenna. I have to drop something off for her on my way home,” he explains, quite flustered. I squint at him. I can tell he is lying to me. The question is why?
“Lewis?” I ask sternly. I hate liars.
“I have to go. I’ll see you later. I mean maybe, maybe I’ll see you later. I don’t know.” He almost walks right through the glass door in his rush to get away from me.
