My heart was hurting, and I ached to reach out to him. I compromised with myself, holding my hands and loosening my tongue.
“It’s astonishing to me,” I said quietly, and he shot me a questioning look.
“It’s astonishing that even here, in a house with its own staff, with virtually unlimited resources, that a kid could still be left to fend for himself. I was older than you were when my mom left, and my dad did try his best to help me, but life was still a terrible struggle. I’m sorry you went through that.”
His eyes glistened wetly, and he sniffed.
“Thank you. I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m glad that you can relate. Anyway, the point is, my dad never made a connection with me. My connection with my mother was severed by forces beyond her control when I was ten. The staff cared for me, but there was always a divide. A wall of money, sealed with status.
“I spent so many years isolated like that, and I…I still don’t know how to make a connection, and frankly, I’m afraid to try. The one time my father and I bonded over anything was when he was teaching me how to be an effective CEO in the year before his death. Even then, he saw me as an asset more than a person, an employee more than a son.”
Jonathan turned and stroked the soft lace on the side of the crib, swallowing against the tears which refused to be subdued. A single droplet trickled down his cheek and he rubbed it away forcefully. I wanted to hold him and let him cry, but I could see that he had more to say.
“Did you have friends?” I asked him carefully.
“Oh, yeah,” he said with a scornful laugh. “My wallet had plenty of friends. I had a ridiculously high allowance because the old man couldn’t be bothered to remember birthdays or Christmas presents. He threw a grand Christmas party every year for the company; he just didn’t pay attention to the small detail that was me.
“Since my mother’s death, I’ve never felt secure in my ability to express how I feel without having those feelings used against me. My father mocked me for feeling. My schoolmates would twist my feelings into something terrible and blackmail me with the result. It didn’t take me long to figure out how to play that game to win, but I would rather not have played at all.”
“That’s horrible,” I said sympathetically.
“It certainly had a horrible impact on me,” he agreed. “On how I treat people. Especially people I care about. Kaley…I am sorry, so very sorry, about the way I have treated you. You’re an incredible person, and you deserved so much better than what I had to offer. But when I look at you—in person, or on a giant billboard, or on TV—all I can see in my future is you.
“Your presence alone has a way of softening me. You exude that security that I’ve been missing for twenty-something years, but it’s more than that. You’re intelligent and witty and full of hope and drive. I ran out of hope a long time ago. I don’t know if I could go back to living without yours.”
He blinked rapidly, sending another single tear down his cheek. I leaned over before he could chase it away, and gently stroked it off of his face with my thumb.
“Look at me, Jonathan,” I ordered tenderly.
He looked up, miserable as a boy who had lost his dog.
“Before we go any further, I need to know one thing, and I need you to be honest. Tell me, please, exactly what you want.”
He choked on the words and lost control of his tears. I held his hand until he had brought himself back under control.
“I just want to be loved,” he whispered. He cleared his throat. “It was stupid, and terribly selfish, but my reasons for wanting this baby with you go far beyond good PR. I thought if I just had a baby, I would know unconditional love. Even if it was just for a short time, until they grew to despise me for whatever reason, I would at least have the memory of that love to keep me sane a while longer.”
“Then I have a confession to make,” I said nervously, holding both of his hands in mine now. “Jonathan…I’ve been in love with you for months. The pain of loving you, in this situation, and not being able to express it, was driving me insane. That was what I couldn’t live with.”
He exhaled, then, curling his body to rest his forehead on the backs of my hands.
“Kaley,” he breathed. “Oh, Kaley.”
He raised his head again, his cheeks freshly wet.
“I can’t look into the future and not see you by my side. I can’t picture parenting this child any other way but together. I don’t know how to be a dad, but I know how not to be a dad. You…you’re the quintessential mother. I know I screwed up, but I swear to you I’ll do better now. Will you stay with me?”
“Yes,” I said, crying my own tears now. “But you have to promise me one thing.”
“Anything,” he said, his voice sure.
“No more pretending.”
“I promise,” he agreed, a tiny, relieved smile smoothing the pained lines in his face. “No more pretending.”
I stood and pulled him out of his chair, then wrapped my arms around his neck. “Good,” I said, and kissed him.
It was the most real, passionate, emotional embrace I had ever experienced. The pretense was gone, and his soul was stripped naked in my arms.
As I parted my lips for him, my mother’s words floated back to me. Chase the passion, and everything else will fall into place.
A wise woman, my mother.
Chapter 21
Jonathan
Six Months Later
“I swear, you add a minute to your shower for every day that you’re pregnant,” I told Kaley teasingly through the shower door.
“I kind of am,” she replied, her voice echoing in our cavernous bathroom. “This kid gets a little heavier every day. My back is killing me.”
She turned off the shower, then, and whipped a towel off of the door. A few minutes later, she stepped out, as pregnant as she was naked, with her hair twisted up in the towel. My heart melted at the sight of her, and I sidled over to her to drop kisses along her collar bone.
“Sounds like it’s time for maternity leave to start,” I murmured against her skin.
“No,” she said firmly. “If I leave now, Chase is going to put Annabelle on the Kick Crawler project, and she’s going to ruin it.”
I pulled back and gave her a mock-irritated look. “Annabelle is pretty good, you know. Don’t get me wrong, she’s no Kaley Marshall, but…”
“Exactly,” Kaley said smugly as she dropped a quick kiss on my lips. “And AllGood deserves nothing but the best.”
I sighed in acquiescence as she flashed her impish grin and turned away to brush her teeth. I brushed my own as I watched her, simply enjoying the view. Even after living together for nearly four months, I enjoyed watching her perform even the most mundane of activities.
“You’re so damn pretty,” I sighed at her.
She raised a brow at me and broke into her musical laughter. “Pretty round, pretty large, or pretty obnoxious?” she asked with a sparkle in her eyes.
“Just plain pretty,” I insisted, wrapping my arms around her girth and dropping kisses down her neck. “You’re a magnificent tribute to the super-human woman power of human gene splicing.”
“Well, when you put it like that, I guess I am pretty magical,” she said cockily, wriggling her shoulders against my bare chest.
I kissed the top of her head and spent a long moment just gazing at her in the mirror.
“We’re going to be late,” she told me quietly.
“You should stay home, anyway; you’re a whale,” I said, rubbing her belly with both hands.
“Hey!” She slapped me playfully. “You said I was pretty!”
“You are pretty! Whales are pretty!” I laughed, dodging her painless blows.
“Boy, you’re lucky I can’t run,” she said, her eyes glittering in amusement. “You don’t even want to know what I’d do to you if I caught you.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea,” I said suggestively, letting my eyes roam over her body in
a slow, obvious trail.
She chuckled low in her throat and kissed me in the most terribly distracting way. I had just reached the threshold of pleasure where I had no more cares left in the world, when she pulled away sharply.
“We’re late,” she repeated firmly.
“I’m the CEO; I can’t be late,” I argued.
“Don’t you have an executive meeting this morning?” she asked innocently.
“No, I…oh, wait. It’s Thursday, isn’t it?”
“Yes, my dear, it is, and you know how cranky those people get when they have to sit around and do nothing in the conference room.”
“As opposed to sitting around doing nothing in their offices?” I asked wryly.
“Hey, you said it, not me,” she laughed. “But I was kind of thinking that, yeah.”
I shrugged. “Fair assessment.”
I helped her get dressed, then dressed myself. It took twice as long as it needed to; for some reason, I was more drawn to her mouth this morning than any other morning I could remember. There was a heightened glow to her, a sort of magnetic draw which softened and emboldened me all at once.
Even her eyes were glowing, and her natural scent was stronger and sweeter than the flowery soap scent which clung to her soft skin. I kissed her once more before we left the bedroom, allowing myself to get lost in her ocean eyes.
“You really are beautiful,” I told her.
“Thank you,” she said, her cheeks flushing red. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
Cory began calling my phone, then, and we hurried out.
“Let’s take that one,” Kaley said, pointing at the low, sleek little sports car that we had used on our first date.
“Not in a million years,” I said, glancing pointedly from her belly to the small car. “I’d have to pry you out; then, we would really be late.”
Kaley pouted, but didn’t argue as she followed me to the more sensible (but still mighty powerful, and more than a little sexy) sedan. She slid in with a happy sigh as the extra fluffy car seat embraced her.
“See, even you like this car,” I teased as I started it.
“I like the seats,” she corrected. “We should put one of these seats into one of those cars.”
“Lumbar support and a roll cage. Sounds like the midlife crisis special down at the used car lot.”
Kaley broke into laughter, making me grin. I had never kicked off so many good days in a row as I had since she moved in, and I thanked my lucky stars that we hadn’t called it off. The morning drive was almost pleasant now; though the traffic was still ridiculous, the company had vastly improved.
We walked into the building arm-in-arm and kissed goodbye for now, confirming our lunch date for later. Our morning routine had become commonplace in recent weeks, and my employees didn’t even seem to notice anymore.
Lighthearted and satisfied to the depths of my soul, I hurried off to the 30th floor.
Chapter 22
Kaley
“I can’t believe you’re still coming in to work,” Imogen said, her eyes virtually bugging out of her head. “Aren’t you due, like, yesterday?”
“I wish,” I sighed, settling carefully into my desk chair. “I’ve got ten days left, and that’s just a guess. The doctor said the due date was really just an estimate, and it could be another 24 days.”
“Oh, honey, you can’t take another 24 hours, let alone days!” She perched on my desk, flaunting her flat stomach right in front of me. It wasn’t on purpose—I knew that—but I was really sick and tired of feeling like a bloated whale. My irritation must have been evident on my face, because she looked surprised and then guilty in quick succession.
“All right, all right,” she said, raising her hands in slight surrender. “I was wrong. I know I haven’t apologized yet, but…ugh. Apologies suck. I’m sorry I didn’t believe that you were madly in love with Mr. Dane. I promise to believe anything you tell me in the future, no matter how wild, crazy, or irrational it might seem.”
“Thank you,” I said with a grin. “But actually, I was irritated because I watched you down six doughnuts this morning and you still have the twiggiest figure since…God, I can’t remember where I was going with that. Anyway, then, there’s me. I eat a saltine and my ankles triple in size.”
I sighed uncomfortably, wriggling in my chair. I should have added ten more minutes to the shower this morning. The ache in my lower back simply would not quit.
“Are you okay?” Imogen asked worriedly. “Do you need an ambulance? Midwife? Should I boil water?”
“Sit down, you lunatic,” I laughed. “I’m fine. I think this kid’s just getting comfortable on my tail bone, that’s all.”
Imogen made a face. “Better you than me. Know what I do when I get baby fever? I volunteer down at the community center daycare for a couple hours. Ninety minutes around those feral beasts magically makes the desire for my own blow away.”
“You can be the fun aunt, then,” I said with a smile to mask my pain as I arched my back into the spasm. “Every kid needs a fun aunt.”
“Fun aunt it is,” Imogen grinned. “Have you figured out what you’re going to name him yet?”
I shook my head. “There are a lot of good names and a lot of terrible names and a few great names, but nothing feels right. I’ve read at least three baby name books, cover to cover, and I still don’t know what I want.”
“Better figure it out,” Imogen said. “Because if you don’t, I’m going to call him Bob the Baby and you know it’ll stick if I use it enough.”
“You’re so helpful,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Bet you’ll have a name for him by next week, though,” she said with a smirk.
I brought the subject of names up to Jonathan that night in bed, as he was slathering me with shea butter from ankle to wrist. It had been my routine since the beginning of the pregnancy, and it was one which he had been eager to assist me with. It certainly hadn’t hurt our love life.
“I was looking at Greek baby names today,” I said.
“Did you find anything suitable?” he asked as his long fingers trailed over my belly.
“Not really,” I sighed. “They’re all either too pretentious or too childish. I want something that’s going to be cute on him while he’s little, but will also be strong when he’s all grown up, you know? I just can’t seem to find the name.”
“I thought Eric was a good name,” he said, referring back to the last conversation we’d had on the topic.
I had shot it down, but I hadn’t told him why. Now, it seemed, was the time.
“Eric was my first boyfriend’s name,” I said with a wince. “He was pretty terrible.”
“Oh.” Jonathan stretched out the syllable. “No Eric, then. Let’s try doing this a different way. What are your favorite letters?”
“Favorite letters?” I chuckled. “Do people have those?”
“Everybody does,” he grinned. “Some people just don’t know it yet. So, let’s hear it—favorite letters. One, two, three, go.”
“Um…K, X, C, D…and W.”
“And not a vowel to be found,” he said, kissing my cheek. “Mine are A, L, M…and sometimes, Y.”
I giggled at the corny joke; then, a spasm shot down my spine.
“Whoa,” Jonathan said, snatching his hand away. “Your belly went rock-hard for a second. Are you all right?”
“Yeah,” I said dismissively. “Totally fine. My back’s just giving me trouble still.”
“Roll onto your side. I’ll rub it,” he offered.
I still enjoyed the way he sort of ordered me to do things which would make me happy, so I meekly obeyed. He rubbed slowly at first, loosening up my tense muscles, then started going after the knots. One such knot sat just above my tail bone, and was, from what I could tell, the source of my troubles.
He worked it with his palms, then his fingers, then his knuckles, before finally digging his thumbs into the center of it and pressing as hard as he
could.
“You are impossible to release tonight,” he grumbled at the knot lightly.
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. My breath was gone completely, and my belly was compressing. Finally, his hand cramped and he released the pressure, so I gasped for air.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“I don’t think it was you,” I said, struggling for breath. “But maybe you could do my feet instead?”
“It would be my pleasure,” he said, kissing me before sliding to the end of the bed.
I spasmed again, but it didn’t seem so bad this time. Jonathan’s skilled hands relaxed every muscle in my foot from my toes to my heel, then he kept going. As he was massaging my ankle, he must have found another knot, because he pressed down hard in the little hollow just under my ankle bone.
I had just enough time to cry out this time before the spasm overwhelmed me.
“All right, yeah, okay, it’s doctor time,” Jonathan said anxiously. “Don’t move. I’m going to call him and have him meet us at the hospital.”
“No, don’t do that,” I said, though I was shaking and drenched with sweat. “It’s late; he’s probably sleeping.”
“I don’t care if he’s dead; he’d better pick himself up and meet us at that hospital,” Jonathan said as he dialed. “Hi, Dr. Hooley, it’s Jonathan Dane.
“Yep, it’s about that time. Four…nope, make that five contractions. Less than two minutes apart. No, I’m bringing her in, just meet us there. Thank you.”
He came over to me, then, just as I was uncurling my body from another spasm. He touched my forehead, cursed under his breath, then hurried to the closet. When he returned, he was haphazardly dressed and carrying my biggest, ugliest, most comfortable house dress.
I let him help me put it on. I was beyond arguing now; I couldn’t even catch a full breath between contractions, and I was pretty sure I had just wet the bed. If I had, Jonathan either didn’t notice or didn’t choose to comment on it. Whichever it was, I loved him for it. I shoved my swollen feet into comfy knitted slippers and carefully waddled to the elevator, clinging to Jonathan’s arm.
Baby, ASAP - A Billionaire Buys a Baby Romance (Babies for the Billionaire Book 3) Page 13
