by Ally Vance
I should leave here, run far, far away, and never look back. There’s nothing else for me out there, though. Everything I want and need is here, but I’m not certain how permanent this arrangement is going to be. I want to stay, even though fear of my emotions makes my soul restless. Memories of the previous night start to trickle to the forefront of my mind, making my stomach warm, and a familiar ache pulses between my legs.
I shove the photos back into my bag, and before I can slip into a daydream, I swing my legs out of bed. Stripping off my sleep shirt, I let it fall to the floor and grab fresh clothes from the chest of drawers, the only other item of furniture in the room. I’m just about to pull on my bra when the sound of my bedroom door bursting open makes me jump. I let out a squeal and drop my bra in surprise as I whip around to see my daddy standing in the doorway.
“Laziness will not be tolerated in this house. You should already be dressed and at the dining table with your breakfast by now. I’ve been damned patient, letting you settle and find your place, but you’re a part of this family, and you can’t just rely on the others to get shit done. You’ve got to pull your weight too, girl,” he growls, moving toward me, eyes raking over my disheveled appearance and exposed body.
I frantically try to cover myself up with my hands, and grabbing my t-shirt from the bed, I pull it over my head, one-handed. His eyes burn into me, and I feel incredibly small when he stands in front of me, close enough to touch, towering over me with a frown on his handsome features. His proximity and the annoyance rolling off him in waves makes me momentarily forget what I’m doing.
“Get dressed, and get your ass into that kitchen,” he orders in a low tone.
I stare up at him, dumbstruck. I’ve never been spoken to like that before. I understand sharing the chores, but Mom never ruled our house like this, and Gregory was too busy pissing away all our money on alcohol to care that much.
“Get a move on, or you can go out there as you are with my handprint glowing on that pale ass of yours. Doesn’t matter much to me either way, but I suggest you decide quickly,” he threatens, still watching me.
I jump into action, pulling on my panties and leggings, very aware of his eyes tracking my every movement. Self-consciousness makes my cheeks hot, and I do everything I can to avoid his gaze while I finish getting dressed. I quickly move past him in my hurry to get out of the room, but his hand on my shoulder stops me dead.
“Good girl, next time you won’t disappoint me, will you?” he asks, but it’s more of a statement than a question.
“No,” I reply quietly.
“I didn’t quite catch that, Sofia,” he says, still holding me in place.
“No, Pater,” I repeat, and he lets me go with a chuckle.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now, get a move on.”
My heart is beating fast, and my head is spinning as I try to make sense of what happened and clear my mind of the fog his presence creates. He’s everywhere, even when he’s not, and it makes it hard to breathe. In some ways, after so many years without him, it’s comforting to have such a tangible presence of him around, but it’s also hard to suppress the unnerving feeling it creates in me.
I make it to the kitchen in time to finish laying the table with Vaughn. I’m tempted to ask him why he didn’t come in and ask me to help when he knocked earlier; however, after his unexpected and awkward visit last night, combined with the tension I’m still experiencing from the interaction with my daddy, I decide to hold my tongue for once. Curiosity can go fuck itself for now, or at least until I’ve managed to calm my racing heart and clear my head a little.
Breakfast is quiet with nothing audible apart from the sounds of eating and drinking, but I can’t relax. My whole body is wound tight as a bowstring, and I feel like I’m about to snap. I’m picking at my food, and Vaughn’s eyes are boring into me with a mixture of curiosity and something else. I can easily ignore his stare, but my daddy’s eyes haven’t once left me either, and the slightly narrowed, thoughtful look paired with a somewhat playful smirk has my stomach twisting with unease. Eloy seems happily oblivious to the added tension between me and Pater, or he’s just too focused on the meal to pay attention.
I’m not sure how to feel about any of this, and the longer I stay in this house the more confused I’m becoming. By time the plates are empty and I’ve helped Vaughn wash them I feel like screaming. Usually Pater leaves the table and goes upstairs or to the family room, but this morning, he stays put, watching us as we go about our after breakfast chores.
“Sofia, come to the family room when you’re done,” he says finally, and leaves the room.
“What do you think he wants?” I ask Vaughn nervously, as we hurry to finish putting away the plates.
Vaughn shrugs and shakes his head, eyeing the space where our daddy was just sitting.
“Don’t keep him waiting,” is all he says before lapsing into silence again.
Once all the chores are complete, Vaughn leaves through the back door, and I desperately want to follow him outside instead of facing our daddy. I know I’ve nothing to be nervous about, but I can’t stop my hands from shaking, because after last night and this morning, it’s clear there’s something disturbing about this place, and I’ve been closing my eyes to it all.
Chapter Thirteen
“Sofia, come sit down,” Pater invites me to sit beside him on the couch, but I can hear the undertone that tells me not to fuck around.
I’ve already delayed as long as I can, lingering in the kitchen and making sure everything was clean. When Vaughn returned from outside and saw me still in there, he’d shaken his head at me in dismay before pointing at the hallway leading to the family room. He didn’t utter a word, but he didn’t need to. I knew what he wasn’t saying; I’m going to be in trouble because I kept our daddy waiting.
Gingerly, I take a seat, waiting for Pater to blow up or lash out like I’m used to experiencing with Gregory. He doesn’t speak for a while, and my whole body is screaming at me because it feels like I’ve not taken a breath since I walked in here. He quirks an eyebrow at my hesitancy, and I force myself to sink lower into the seat.
For some reason, I always feel incredibly on edge when we’re alone in a room together. I’m not sure why that is; whether it’s how we met, the sick and twisted desires I’ve been having...or it’s simply just him. Maybe it’s a combination of all three. I’m not certain what he wants from me right now, but I do know he’s probably going to punish me for making him wait and ignoring a direct instruction.
“This morning,” he begins.
I cut him off. “I’m sorry! I promise it won’t happen again. I overslept, and then I got distracted looking at photos of my mom. I’m still adjusting, I guess. I didn’t realize I needed to help with breakfast.”
His jaw tightens, and his eyes flash, and I realize too late what I’ve done. I’ve interrupted him when he was speaking. I recognize the expression, a precursor to one of Gregory’s outbursts. I hold my breath until my chest feels tight, waiting for him to blow his top and lose control, but it doesn’t happen.
“Don’t you dare interrupt me when I’m speaking, Sofia. I don’t take kindly to rudeness from anyone, especially not from my kids,” he warns, and his menacing tone is more frightening than if he’d yelled the words at me.
“I’m sorry…” I start again.
“Keep your mouth closed, girl. Or I’ll shut you up for talking back to me when I am speaking.” He enunciates his last words with a shout, and I jump, scooting along the couch as far away from him as possible without getting up.
I want so badly to run, but instinct and the look in his eyes tell me to fucking stay put, or I’ll only make things worse for myself.
“Here I was, thinking it was about time I got to know my daughter, and here you are, giving me cheek and making me nearly lose my damn patience. If that had been one of my other kids, I’d have lost my temper by now. They know exactly what will happen to them if they disrespect
me. I think I’ve been very generous, don’t you? So don’t push your luck any more than you have already, Sofia,” he finishes, his tone much calmer.
“Sorry, Pater,” I say quietly, and he nods his head in approval.
He gestures for me to come closer, and I oblige, too scared to do anything that might make him shout again.
“How did you find me here?” he asks, and I stare up at him, biting my lip, surprised at the unexpected change in direction of the conversation.
“My mom hid who you were from me when she was alive. She wouldn't tell me your name or anything about you. After she died, I didn’t want to stay with my stepdad; it was horrible there with just him, not that it was much better before. When I searched through a box of mom’s things, I discovered some old photographs and all my birth documents. I didn’t know it was you in one of the images I found until later. I ran away and went in search of the house listed on my birth certificate. That’s where I met my stepdad’s crazy momma. She and my stepdad drugged me and tied me up. I managed to get away, but it was there I found the envelope with the family photos. How I found you, though, was a complete accident. After I escaped, I was walking in the forest and came across the clearing with the stone chair. That’s when I discovered who you were, and you arrived soon after.”
I finish telling him, glossing over the part where Gregory tried to rape me at his momma’s house.
“What were you doing in the clearing, Sofia? You didn’t look like you were there by accident. You were sitting on that chair like it was made for you,” Pater questions, and I swallow down the small gasp threatening to burst from my chest. Does he know?
“Nothing, I stopped to rest. I was tired and hadn’t eaten in a while. I was scared that Gregory and his mom would find me, and I was hiding from them,” I blurt out, but I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks as flashes of what I was doing, while staring at my daddy’s photo, pop into my mind.
“Really?” he says in a disbelieving tone, and my eyes widen as I stare at him, “Because I don’t think you’re telling me the whole truth, Sofia. Now, why would that be?”
“I’m not lying,” I assure him, but of course, he’s right.
I’m not telling him the whole truth, and somehow, he seems to know that. Maybe he can tell I’m not divulging everything, or maybe he did see me that day after all. I don’t want to tell him. It’s embarrassing and wrong, and he will be disgusted by me. I need this place, I need my family, even if they’re still strangers to me. If he knows the truth, he’ll throw me out on my ass like a disgusting piece of trash. I’ve only just found them, and if I’m forced to leave I’ve nowhere else to go but Mom’s, and I don’t want to go back there.
I’m thrown back to my first evening here when I was sitting in this exact same spot with Pater’s eyes boring holes into my soul, seemingly scooping out my light to replace it with his darkness. I don’t want to tell him what I did, and I’ll take whatever punishment he decides to give me rather than admit it to him.
“There you go again, telling more lies. You’re only making it worse for yourself. I told you, Sofia, I always know. I’ll ask you one last time; what were you doing in that chair? I want to hear the words, and I want the truth this time. Think you can do that?”
I suck in a breath before mumbling, “I’m not lying.”
“Bull shit.” he splits the word for emphasis. “My other kids know not to lie to me, not that it stops them from trying. I know about everything that goes on under my roof, and secrets don’t stay secret for long.”
Chapter Fourteen
He knows about everything that goes on under his roof? Does that mean he knows what I was doing the last night when Vaughn walked into my room? My cheeks heat, and I can’t do a thing to stop the blush from coloring them. He may not know what I did last night, but I’m almost certain he saw more than I ever would have wanted him to witness on the day we first met. How long was he watching me? What must he think of me, now he knows he’s my daddy?
“Get back over here, Sofia. I’m not done with you, yet,” he says, scowling at me, and I realize I’m perched at the very end of the couch, ready to flee the room if he loses his temper.
Reluctantly, I move up the couch until I’m sitting next to him again, and the heat from his body so close to mine heats my chilled skin, fear having sapped the warmth from me.
“Now, you’re going to sit here and tell me what really happened that day in the clearing. I know what I saw, and I want to know if you have the guts to tell me the truth,” he says, rubbing his chin as a steely glint flashes in his eyes.
I gulp and fidget in my seat, uncomfortably aware of what he’s asking me to reveal. I’ve been trying to avoid this, but the longer I draw out the silence, the more unforgiving his expression is becoming. I know full well that I’m encouraging the darkness within him to rise to the surface, not that I believe it has far to travel; it’s always there, lingering, with malice at its heart and a fire in its belly.
Stay and obey, or fight and flee? My body hums with the need to get away from him. However, I suspect if I try, it won’t end well for me. His body is relaxed, but I can see an awareness of my inner turmoil in his gaze and in the way his lips are turned up at the corners as he scrutinizes me. Is he able to read what’s flowing through my mind right now? I gulp, and my chest rises and falls rapidly with fast, shallow breaths. I’m fighting back a terrible mix of fear and desire, and I don’t know how to calm my racing heart.
Instinct takes over and I leap up, heading for the door, but I barely make it out of my seat before a large hand grabs mine and yanks me backward into the steel cage of his arms. I’m now a hostage not only to him but to the illicit desires flowing through my veins, warping my heart and cursing me for my damning thoughts and inner cravings.
“I didn’t give you permission to leave my presence,” Pater whispers in my ear, his hot breath blowing over my face and making me shiver.
His voice is calm, pleasant even, but I sense that years of controlling every aspect of his and his children’s lives has helped him perfect that smooth tone, even when he’s anything but calm. The menace behind his words reveals the anger beneath his cool exterior, and I know I’ve really fucked up.
“You’ve had your chance. Now, I’ll tell you what I saw. I saw a dirty little girl fucking herself with her hand like it was a thick hard cock while sitting on a chair that was built by my hand for my wife and the mother of my children. Then, after I’d already caught you trespassing you came prancing up to me, a perfect picture of innocence and sweetness, and told me that you’re my kid,” he says, holding me tightly against himself while I squirm and struggle to get free.
My frightened whimpers are smothered beneath the volume of his voice that’s laced heavily with sarcasm. “Tell me, am I wrong, Sofia?” he dares me, and I twist around to look into his eyes, heart pounding so loudly he must hear it.
“You’re not wrong, Pater,” I mumble, and he raises his eyebrows and smirks.
“Well, damn. Did my ears deceive me, or did you just ‘fess up?” he exclaims, leaning back to look at me, his golden-brown eyes gleaming.
I bite my lip nervously, and he chuckles.
“You’ve got more balls than most of my kids, Sofia. That doesn’t mean you’re getting off easy, though. You lied and disobeyed me, and I know there’s more to this little story than you've admitted. You need to decide if I’m going to have to tell the rest, or if you’re going to continue this little ballsy streak you’ve got going and reveal all. What’s it going to be?”
He levels me with his soul-piercing gaze, and I close my eyes, foolishly trying to hide from it, but there’s no hiding from Pater. He’s made it clear he sees and knows everything, and I’m not sure how well I can keep my secrets buried when he’s here digging them up, uncovering them with his words.
“The photo…I was looking at a photo I took from my mom’s box. It was the…” I take a deep breath, trembling as I recall what happened, trying to build u
p the courage to say the words out loud, “...the photo of you.”
I cower down, trying to make myself as small as the arms banded around me will allow, but Pater doesn’t let me shrink away from the dreadful repercussions of my own admission; instead, he maneuvers my body onto his lap and forces me to face him.
“Good girl! I can tell that was hard to admit, but see how much better it feels to tell the truth. Now, there’s still that little issue of trying to hide shit and avoid me that we need to deal with. I’m not happy, and just because you’re new around here doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you. My kids are expected to follow the rules, and they reap the consequences when they misbehave. Your momma tried to keep you from me, but you’re a part of this family, and it’s time you learned what that really means,” Pater says, running a hand down my arm.
My gaze flies up to meet his, and the darkness emanating from his eyes sends a chill down my spine. His grip on me tightens. I’m pulled more firmly against his hard chest and something else that steals my breath.
“Are-are you hard right now?” I ask in astonishment, eyes wide and searching.
“Why do you sound so surprised, considering it was you who made yourself come while thinking about me? Don’t pretend this isn’t what you’ve wanted all along. You pictured it, fucked yourself to the thought of my thick, hard cock ramming into you and stealing that precious virginity of yours.”
“No. I don’t want that,” I blurt out, leaning away from him, heart pounding and staring at him in shocked disbelief.
“You know what I think, Sofia. I think you’re a little liar who’s trying to get herself in trouble because she wants to be punished. So far almost every word that has come out of your mouth has been to defy me,” he retorts, grinding himself against me.
