by Anthea Sharp
Oh god. Hold on. It was Tam, under all that coarse black hair. He wouldn’t bite her. Please, don’t let him bite her.
The bear opened its mouth wider. She threaded her fingers into the fur and squeezed her eyes closed. The roar, when it came, shook through her. Midway through it changed from a bear’s bellowing to the threatening growl of a great cat.
She forced her eyes open, and met the feral gaze of a lion. Run! the mouse inside her squeaked. Death and ruin in those yellow eyes.
Don’t let go.
From a distance, she heard the Dark Queen’s voice, raised in wild chanting. The huge, furry body in her arms began to shrink and darken. It grew heavy and cool, one moment a live thing, the next inert metal in her hands. She looked down and blinked. A bar of iron lay in her palms.
They were almost done.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
The iron bar began to glow. A sullen red at first, it started to give off heat, like a stove that had just been turned on. Jennet’s palms tingled, then stung, but she didn’t dare shift the bar from hand to hand. She couldn’t risk dropping it.
The metal got brighter, and with it the heat. She gritted her teeth and held on, despite the scorching in her hands. Despite the pain, the blisters forming on her skin. Her breath came in little pants, dry and shallow. Hold on.
The bar flared crimson. Too. Hot. Each breath carried a sob with it now, a high, keening noise she barely recognized as coming from her. She couldn’t… hold on. Dammit. Hold on.
It was like clutching a piece of the sun. So bright she couldn’t look at it, a pulsing gold-red that seared itself against her eyes. She couldn’t take her hands away - it felt as though the molten metal had fused itself to her body.
Agony burned into her bones. Her throat hurt, and it took a moment for her to realize it was because she was screaming. There was nothing left. Only pain.
And then it was over.
She bent, dry-heaving, tasting nothing but sour bile. She couldn’t feel her hands.
“Jennet?” It was Tam’s voice, shaky and close. “Hey, Jen. Look at me. Right here.”
She straightened, met his worried green eyes. All traces of his elaborate costume were gone. He knelt before her, naked.
“The cloak,” she gasped, fumbling at the ties. “We have to cover you.” Her fingers weren’t working - there was something wet and slick getting in her way.
Tam reached out and helped loosen the cloak, and together they spread it over him. When she drew the hood over his face, her hands left dark blotches on the cloth. Blood.
The Dark Queen swept up to them. Her eyes held hurricanes.
“Ill met, Fair Jennet,” she said, her voice cold with rage. “You have stolen the fairest knight in all my company.”
Jennet scraped in a breath. “You stole him first. I just took him back.”
She had, hadn’t she? A tremble started, low in the pit of her stomach, the first unbelieving stirrings of triumph. They had won.
“Brave Tamlin.” The queen turned to Tam, her voice changing to smoke and sorrow. “If I had seen what would pass this night, I would not have stayed my hand. Your mortal heart betrayed us. Better by far if I had taken it and given you one of stone.”
“I’d rather be mortal,” Tam said, “than sacrificed so the faeries could rampage through the human realm. You lost.”
The air grew chill. Frost sparkled in the Dark Queen’s hair. “The gateway remains closed, ‘tis true. For now.”
“Forever,” Jennet said.
God, she hoped so. She couldn’t go through this again. Her hands felt like lumps of wood attached to her wrists. If she looked at them, she knew she’d be sick.
The queen lifted her fingers and traced a silvery symbol in the air. “Begone from here, mortals. Be gone!”
The eerie starlight brightened to gold, and a wind began to whirl about Jennet and Tam. The edges of the cloak he was wearing lifted and spun.
“Wait!” Jennet reached for him. “Tam—”
Too late. Her words were lost in a flare of swirling light as she was hurtled back into her own world.
She fell into the sim chair with a whimper. Somehow her helmet and gloves had come off - and the chair next to her was empty. Where was Tam?
The door to the game room banged open.
“Jennet!” her dad yelled, running to the chair and thumbing off the jammer. “What the hell are you doing? I told you the system was dangerous and - oh my god.” He was staring at her hands. “What happened to you? HANA! Call George - and get me an emergency kit, right away.”
“Of course. Here you are, sir.” A cupboard door popped open from the wall. Dad pulled a medi-pack out and ripped it open.
“Jennet, your hands…”
Finally, she looked down. Bile rose in her throat, and she wished she hadn’t. Her hands looked like raw meat. The skin was gone, and blood oozed to the surface. They had hurt before, but seeing the damage made the pain blaze up. Hot tears pricked her eyes.
“Sorry, Dad,” she whispered, then tried not to cry out as he laid plas-skin bandages over her palms. “I had to save Tam.”
Face set, Dad just shook his head. “I’m taking you to the ER.”
“Central Hospital?” She had to find out if Tam was all right. What had happened to him when the Dark Queen flung them back into the mortal world?
She was probably grounded for life. But as long as Tam was all right, she didn’t care.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
“We have to ask about Tam, Dad.” Jennet kept her voice low, though it didn’t seem like anyone else in the ER waiting room was remotely interested. The pain in her hands was a distant, fuzzy thing, numbed by the plas-skin Dad had slathered on and the pills he’d made her swallow.
“Not until we get your hands looked at.”
She knew better than to push it, though hope and worry knocked through her with every breath. At least she was in the same hospital as Tam.
It didn’t take long for the med techs to get to her. They peeled off the plas-skin, making worried, interested noises.
“How’d this happen?” one of the techs asked.
“I, um, touched something hot.” She couldn’t meet Dad’s eyes. It was true, just not in any way he could understand.
“More than touched it, I’d say.” The tech shook his head. “Luckily, it looks like you got the plas-skin on in time to stop any permanent nerve damage. You’re not going to be able to use your hands for a while, though.”
“Okay.” As long as Tam was all right, it was worth it. Was he all right? The question pushed through her, insistent as her own heartbeat.
Finally, they were done. Her hands were numbed and re-wrapped, and Dad finished signing the last of the forms, and then tucked his tablet away. In response to her pleading glance, he gave her a weary nod.
“We’ll ask at the main desk,” he said. “The techs here have enough to do without checking on a patient already admitted.”
“Thanks.” Her voice trembled.
The windows in the main corridors showed a pale sky. Dawn. All Hallow’s Eve was over.
The woman at the main desk looked up Tam’s record. “I don’t see any change,” she said. “Visiting hours start at seven, if you’d like to go up then.”
Jennet peeked at the desk display. “That’s only ten minutes from now. Please, could we go up early? He’s a good friend.” She lifted her bandaged hands and set them carefully on the counter. Playing the sympathy card.
“We’re here now, after all,” Dad said.
“Well…” The woman shook her head, but she was smiling. “Okay. But don’t tell them I sent you.”
“Thanks so much.” Jennet hurried to the bank of elevators and pushed the button with her elbow. It was strange to have no working hands.
As the elevator doors closed behind them, Dad cleared his throat. “Jen. I know you think that the game has something to do with Tam’s condition. And I know you think you were able to change it. But you shoul
d be prepared for the fact that he’s still in a coma.”
“I know.” Worry shivered across the back of her neck. But no matter what the receptionist had said, something had to have changed.
They got off on the fourth floor. Nobody was at the nurse’s station. Ignoring Dad’s cautionary look, Jennet marched down the hall to Tam’s room and peeked in the half-open door.
Three med-techs crowded around Tam’s bed. His mom was there, too, and his little brother. She slipped inside, holding her breath until she could catch a glimpse of him.
Tam. He was awake, hair falling across his face, green eyes open as he nodded at something a med-tech had said. Her heart opened like the sun breaking free.
Tam’s little brother looked up, and caught sight of her. He gave her a big smile. “Hey, Jennet! Tam waked up.”
Tears itched the back of her eyes. “Yes.”
She stepped forward, and one of the techs made room for her at the side of the bed. Behind her, she felt Dad’s solid presence. He put a hand on her shoulder, apology and forgiveness in that touch.
“Jennet,” Tam said.
Just her name, but it was enough. Their gazes locked. He was pale, and his eyes held shadows. Shadows she knew lurked in her own - memories of Feyland and their battles against the Dark Queen.
“Hi.” She wanted to touch him, but her hands were unwieldy lumps of gauze.
He reached for her, instead, and set one hand on her wrist, just above the bandages. His fingers were warm and alive, and her skin tingled at the touch.
They had won.
That night, Jennet dreamed she was in Feyland. She stood in a meadow of pale flowers. Above her the sky was pink with approaching dawn, and the air tasted of magic and possibility. There was a peaceful hush on the land, as though at any moment birds would break into full-throated song.
“Jennet?”
She turned to find Tam standing beside her. The light breeze ruffled his hair and pulled at his T-shirt. It was strange to see him without his armor. He smiled at her, something tentative and tender in his eyes.
“Hi,” she said.
A thousand other words danced on her tongue, things like thanks and sacrifice, fear and joy, hope and longing. Love. She didn’t know where to begin.
“Are you ok?” he asked. “I mean… it was a little confusing there for a while.”
“I’m all right. But how could you sacrifice yourself like that, Tam? I nearly lost you.”
Her heart clenched at the memory. She wanted to shake him. She wanted to throw her arms tight around him and never let go.
“I had to.” His eyes held hers, their expression unguarded. “Trading myself for you was the only way. But I’m glad you figured out how to free me.”
“Me, too.” She had to look away from him, or she’d start crying. “Puck helped, though. And Thomas.”
“Thomas. Do you think we’ll ever see him again?”
“At least once.” The quiet answer came from behind them.
Jennet whirled, to see the bard. The first sunlight lay on his cheek and glinted in his wise and weary eyes.
“Thomas!” She hugged him, hard. “I was so afraid…but your book of ballads had the answer, and then you helped…” The tears she’d tried to hide from Tam tipped over onto her cheeks.
“Hush.” Thomas stroked her hair. “Your battle with the Dark Queen is over now. The gate remains closed. You and your champion both sacrificed much, but you have won.”
“What about you?” she asked. “Can you come back to the real world now?”
He shook his head, and she pulled away. She should have known better than to hope. Her voice trembled. “Will I see you again?”
“Perchance. I have an inkling that the magic of Faerie is not yet done with the two of you.” He looked at Tam. “Guard your lady well, bold knight.”
Tam stepped up beside her and slid his arm around her shoulders. He felt warm and solid - a strength she could lean into.
“I will,” Tam said. “And she’s watching out for me too, you know.”
Thomas nodded. “Then I bid you both farewell. And good luck.”
He began to fade as though he were made of mist. Jennet could see the pale bells of the meadow flowers through him, the transparent half-smile on his face.
“Goodbye, Thomas,” she whispered as he disappeared.
Then there was only empty air, and birds singing. And Tam beside her, holding her, strong and true.
He looked at her, his green eyes so serious. Slowly, he dipped his head, bringing their faces close. His hair brushed over her cheek and she tilted her mouth up to meet his. Their lips touched in a perfect kiss.
Jennet closed her eyes. Light spread through her, like she’d sipped the sunrise.
No matter what happened next, she and Tam would face it. Together.
THE BALLAD OF TAM LIN
I forbid you maidens all
That wear gold in your hair
To come or go by Carter Hall
For young Tam Lin is there.
Janet has kilted her kirtle green
A little about her knee,
And she has braided her yellow hair
A little above her bree,
And she's away to Carter Hall,
As fast as she can hie.
When she came to Carter Hall
Tam Lin was at the well,
And there she found his steed standing,
But away was himself.
The steed that my true-love rides on
Is lighter than the wind,
With silver he is shod before,
With burning gold behind.
She had not pulled a double rose,
A rose but only two,
Till up then started young Tam Lin,
Says, ‘Lady, pick no more.
And once it fell upon a day,
A cold day and a snell,
When we were from the hunting come,
That from my horse I fell;
The Queen o Fairies she caught me,
In yon green hill to dwell.’
'And pleasant is the fairy land,
But an eerie tale to tell,
Aye at the end of seven years
We pay a tiend to hell;
I am so fair and full o flesh,
I'm feared it be myself.
The night is Halloween, lady,
The morn is Hallowday,
And for to win me, win me well
Take heed to what I say.
Just at the mirk and midnight hour
The faerie folk will ride,
And they that would their true-love win,
At Miles Cross must bide.
Oh first let pass the black horse,
And then let pass the brown,
But quickly run to the milk-white steed
And pull the rider down.
'They'll turn me in your arms, lady,
An adder and a snake;
But hold me fast, let me not go,
To be your worldly mate.
'They'll turn me to a bear
And then a lion bold;
But hold me fast, and fear me not,
As ye shall love your child.
'Again they'll turn me in your arms
To a red hot bar of iron;
But hold me fast, and fear me not,
I'll do to you no harm.
At last they’ll turn me in your arms
Into a naked knight,
Then cloak me in your mantle green,
And cover me from sight.'
Gloomy, gloomy was the night,
And eerie was the way,
As fair Janet in her mantle green
To Miles Cross she did go.
About the middle of the night
She heard the bridles ring;
This lady was as glad at that
As any earthly thing.
First she let the black pass by,
And then she let the brown;
But quickly she ran to
the milk-white steed,
And pulled the rider down.
So well she minded what he did say,
And young Tam Lin did win;
Then covered him with her mantle green,
As blithe's a bird in spring.
Out then spoke the Queen o Fairies,
Out of a bush of broom;
'She that has gotten young Tam Lin
Has got a stately groom.'
Out then spoke the Queen o Fairies,
Out of a bush of rye:
'She that has gotten young Tam Lin
Has the best knight in my company.
Had I but known, Tam Lin,' she says,
'Before I came from home,
I’d taken out that heart of flesh,
Put in a heart of stone.'
Collected by Francis James Child, English and Scottish Popular Ballads
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS for THE DARK REALM:
Thank you to the many people who made this book possible: the encouragement of my terrific CP Peggy, fabulous proof and beta-readers Colin, Sean (aka Captain Grammar Pants), Chassily, Marissa, Nicole, Kaitlynn, and Brynn. My patient and supportive in-house editor, Lawson, and keen-eyed reader Ginger. Thanks also to Annette Nishimoto for skillful copy-editing.
For great design work, Kim Killion, and for the inspiration to move forward, gratitude to Kris, Dean, and PG.
Finally, for all the adventures in-game, epic thanks to Sylven, Dom, and Fates Legion that was.
For other wonderful YA retellings of the ballad of Tam Lin, Anthea recommends Elizabeth Pope’s The Perilous Gard and Diana Wynne Jones’s Fire and Hemlock.
~ Each title in the FEYLAND trilogy is available in print, worldwide. Order online from your preferred book retailer ~
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