by Anthea Sharp
He glanced toward Jennet’s hands. She’d nearly ruined them while saving his life. The only thing that made the knowledge bearable was the fact that he’d saved her first.
He couldn’t quite believe that today, the game had healed her hand. Had it carried over?
“How’s your right hand?” he asked.
She flexed it a few times, then held it up. Only a faint redness showed on her palm - in contrast to the dark burn that still marred her left hand.
“It feels good,” she said.
“Show your dad. Maybe that will convince him the game has real-world consequences.”
“I’ll try. But he’s good at explaining things away. I mean - magic? It’s hard to believe.” She swabbed her face with a disinfectant pad. “Ow - that stings.”
“Here.” Tam held out his hand. “I’ll spray the plas-skin on for you.”
She hesitated a second, then handed him the bottle. Was she that skittish at the idea of him touching her? Well, and he was just as bad - one minute wanting to kiss her, the next beating himself up for even thinking it. But at least he could help her with this.
He was close enough to smell her hair again - close enough that his faded T-shirt brushed the designer fabric of her blouse.
“Shut your eyes and hold still,” he said.
Her lashes fluttered closed, hiding her intelligent blue eyes. Her lips were so soft-looking. The pounding of his heart filled him up, until his whole body was a drum. Surely she could hear it. He put one hand under her chin, his thumb a little too close to her mouth. Moving it would just make it more obvious he was almost touching her lips. He tried to ignore the warm wash of her breath across his skin.
Puck’s teasing words echoed in his mind. Mortals are nothing but fools, denying themselves of sweetness. Take care that you do not wait too long, or the fruit will wither into bitterness. He knew exactly what the sprite had been talking about. But did he have the courage to follow through?
Forcing his other hand steady, he brought the bottle up to her face and sprayed a thin layer over her cut. The chemical odor of plas-skin masked the distracting scent of her.
She opened her eyes, and the look in them nearly stopped his breath.
“Tam,” she whispered.
Goosebumps chased across his whole body. She stared at him, then, slowly, closed her eyes again. Heart bumping crazily in his chest, Tam leaned forward.
This was it - the kiss that had haunted his sleeping, and waking, for weeks. The dream? memory? of kissing Jennet had been one of the only things that kept him sane through the long, tedious hours of recovery in the hospital.
Now.
The brush of a kiss, as light as a whisper. He barely dared more. Her lips were even softer than her hair, but warm. Warm as sunshine. Sparks flew through him. He pressed a little more, letting their mouths meld. Her arms came around him, and with a huge thump, his heart settled. It felt like floating - like an even deeper magic than the mysteries of Feyland.
“Miss Carter.” HANA’s crisp tone echoed in the little room.
Tam jumped back, feeling as if he’d just touched fire. He stared down at the carpet. Half of him felt like the worst idiot ever, but half of him was still flying. It was a giddy mix of embarrassment and elation.
“Yes?” Jennet said to the house.
“George is waiting with the car.”
“Um, ok. Great.” She cleared her throat. “Tell him Tam will meet him outside in a minute.”
“Very good. I have notified him.”
Silence fell. Tam could feel Jennet’s gaze, but couldn’t quite bring himself to meet it.
“Tam. Look at me.”
Reluctantly, he raised his eyes. She didn’t seem upset, though her cheeks were pinker than usual.
“I’m sorr - ”
“Shut it.” She put her hands on her hips. “Don’t you dare apologize to me for that kiss, Tam Linn. I’ve wanted it to happen for ages.”
He supposed he’d known. It wasn’t like he was totally oblivious to the signals. But still, she was a thousand miles above him.
“Yeah. Well - I’m still not so sure… Jennet, you could do a lot better than spoilage from the Exe.”
“You idiot.” She grabbed his hands and pulled him toward her. “Weren’t you listening, earlier? You’re the one I want.”
“I’m hardly perfect, Jennet. I mean, I know I’m a good gamer, but the rest…”
“Yes, you’re a prime gamer. Yes, you have a family that half the time is falling apart at the seams. We’re not even going to talk about the Exe. But all of those things make you who you are, Tam. As yourself, you’re flawless.”
The sincerity in her voice made him start to unravel. It was all too much. He pulled his hands free, then had to jam them in his pockets to keep from reaching for her.
He wanted to kiss her, again and again. He wanted to turn and run, far away from the idea she had of him - an image of himself he was deathly afraid he couldn’t live up to.
“I… I’m not sure I can do this,” he said.
He could hand her some cheap psych-babble about how everyone he’d ever loved had ended up leaving him, or argue that their friendship was too important to screw up over a short-lived infatuation. But none of that would change the way he felt when he looked into her eyes.
Her face softened, just a little. “Just think about it, Tam. No rush.” Her mouth gave a wry twist. “After all, I’ve waited this long.”
“Alright.” His voice came out thicker than he wanted. “See you tomorrow.”
It was lame, but he really didn’t know what else to say. His thoughts were whirling, spinning sickeningly, like he’d been dropped back into Feyland.
She set her hand on his arm. “I wish you’d stop running away from me.”
“It’s not you, Jennet.” He scuffed at the carpet with his shoe. “I’m running away from me.”
Too bad there was never any escape from the person inside his own skin.
He turned and walked down the hall, feeling her eyes on him. The cameras watched his every move, no doubt monitored by hawk-eyed Marie. He trudged down the stairs, let HANA open the door for him, and went out alone into the cold gray evening.
The drive down into the Exe was quiet. George was a man comfortable with silence, and Tam was glad. He stared out the window, counting streetlights until they ran out, the bulbs shattered, the wiring torn away.
“Here we are,” the driver said, bringing the grav-car to a smooth stop in front of Tam’s place.
“Thanks.” Tam slid out of the back seat and headed for the rickety stairs running up the side of the building.
The car quietly pulled away. He could feel people watching from the boarded-up place down the street, their hostile curiosity pricking the back of his neck. Even though he lived on the outskirts of the Exe, it wasn’t safe. Next time, he needed to convince George to drop him off in regular Crestview. Being chauffeured home like this made him too conspicuous.
How long until the smoke drifters decided Tam’s family had something worth stealing? Not that they did, but confrontations like that could end badly. Really badly. He shivered and drew in a breath of rot-flavored air.
The seventh tread gave under his foot and the railing wobbled precariously as he sprinted up the last few steps. Just another reminder of how drastically things were falling apart.
He had his key-ring out and ready when he got to the front door, jingling as he undid the multiple locks. Nothing could beat old-fashioned tech. Chips and scanners could be jacked too easily, and only fools used them in the Exe.
“Tam!” his mom said as he opened the door. “You’re just in time for dinner.”
He slung off his backpack and did up the deadbolts again, then turned to greet her. She stood in their kitchen alcove, wearing a faded yellow apron and holding a spatula. Canned synthi-meat sizzled in the pan in front of her.
It was weird, having her home so much. And so cheerful. He didn’t trust it. How long until sh
e decided her meds were ‘getting in the way of her true self’ again, and stopped taking them? The shock of him almost dying was beginning to wear off - he could see it in the corners of her eyes. There was a wildness starting there, a low-grade panic that was going to eventually boil over. Then he and the Bug would be fending for themselves. Again.
“Tam, Tam.” His little brother bounced up off the couch. “We got a present today, and you’re gonna be so sparked when you see it! The men brought it, and it’s flawless. Come on, let me show you.” He grabbed Tam’s hand and yanked him toward the door.
“Hold on, Bug.” He pulled free from his brother’s sticky grasp. “Mom. What men? What’s going on?”
“Oh Tam.” She smiled, like the sun had risen for the first time ever. “The big tech company sent some representatives over this afternoon. Everything’s going to be fine.”
He tensed. “What? VirtuMax people came here? What did they want?”
“They brought you a brand new Slix sim-system!” The Bug danced around him, all excitement. “Now I don’t have to fix the old one I broke. It’s downstairs - come on.”
Not that his little brother was getting very far with the repairs. But a new system, so Tam could play at home again…. Something deep inside him released, a tension he hadn’t realized was coiled there.
The relief was short-lived, though. Mom was still smiling at him, something expectant in her face.
“What else?” he asked.
She brought her hands together, the spatula clasped between them. “They gave us money, Tam.” Her voice was low. “Lots of money.”
His stomach clenched. “And did they ask you to sign anything?”
“It was just a formality. A little release form, a promise that we wouldn’t blame them for what happened, or say anything about it. And then they gave us thousands. Thousands.”
“In cash?”
She nodded, and he felt sick.
Damn the arrogant company, thinking they could buy their way out of trouble. Bringing cash here, to the Exe, along with a fancy new sim-system. Relying on his family’s poverty to buy their silence. He swallowed back bile. Damn him for not being here when they arrived.
“We have to give it back.” The words scraped his throat. “That’s blood money, Mom. VirtuMax knows their game almost killed me. They’re buying us off so we can’t take legal action.”
Or warn anyone about how dangerous the company’s new game really was. He wanted to kick something.
His mom’s smile wilted. “But, honey, we couldn’t do that anyway. It’s better just to take the cash.”
“We could find someone to help us. There are programs - ”
“Do you really think the Crestview prosecutor would defend us, against the biggest corporate donor in the state?” She shook her head. “It was the right choice - the only choice. You’re all better now, and we have some money to take care of things.”
“And a flawless new sim-system!” the Bug chimed in.
Tam closed his eyes, tasting lead. It was too late - Mom had signed the paperwork, taken the money. The new system was downstairs in the gutted auto-shop, probably already hooked in. There was nothing he could do except grit his teeth and accept it. He swallowed sour defeat and looked at his mom.
“We need to at least get the cash into a bank or something. It’s not safe here.” He wasn’t going to ask her the amount, not with the Bug watching, wide-eyed and big-eared.
He’d take part of the money, too, and put it in his own safekeeping. If-and-when Mom went off the rails, he and the Bug would need some insurance.
“Fire!” his little brother yelled, voice gleeful.
Mom whirled to face the kitchen, and Tam sprinted past her. He grabbed the ragged dishtowel, picked up the pan of now-flaming meat, and dumped it in the sink. The nasty smell of charred food filled the house as he doused the flames with cold water.
“Ew.” The Bug made a face. “We don’t have to eat that anyway, do we? Can we go out for burgers instead? Please?”
“All right.” Mom squeezed his shoulder, then glanced up at Tam. “Don’t be mad, honey. Things are going to work out for the best.”
Yeah. He stared at the steaming ruins of dinner in the sink. His life just got better and better all the time.
Marny caught him in the halls the next morning between second and third period.
“Hey, Tam. You look like hell.” Seemed she was back to her usual blunt self. “My uncle Zeg wants to know when you’re coming around again. There’s some new content about to release that he thinks will spark you.”
Coldness squeezed the back of Tam’s neck. He sure hoped the ‘new content’ wasn’t Feyland.
“I have a replacement system now, so I’m not sure how much I’ll be at the sim-café.”
“You do, huh?” She raised a brow. “That rich girlfriend of yours set you up with some leet gear?”
“No. And she’s not my girlfriend.”
Marny rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself already, Tam. You’re not as toxic as you think.”
“Anyway.” He ignored her comment. “The equip came from VirtuMax. A ‘gift’ – strings fully attached. They did everything possible to buy my family off.”
“Whoa, really? I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. There wasn’t anything more to say about it. So far he’d avoided going down into the shop, despite his brother’s pleas. As soon as he did, he’d want to play. The new Slix would be great, he knew it - though not as good as the Full-D. Still, he’d love simming on it. And then hate himself for enjoying it.
As if an expensive bribe could make up for him nearly dying. Playing on the new system would be like forgiving VirtuMax, saying everything was fixed now. But things were still severely broken.
“Jeez.” Marny glanced down the crowded hallway. “Did I say you look bad? I take it back. She looks like hell warmed over.”
Tam followed her gaze to where Keeli, the black-haired girl from the View, leaned against the wall. She looked wan and weary, with dark circles under her eyes. As he watched, she took a breath and straightened, then moved carefully into the throng of students. The way she walked, as if she felt fragile as glass, was eerily familiar. She reminded him of… of… The thought teased Tam’s mind, but he couldn’t quite catch hold of it.
“I guess being Lassiter’s girlfriend doesn’t agree with her,” he said. The second the words were out of his mouth, alarms went off in his head.
Damn - that was it. Keeli moved the way Jennet had, back when the Dark Queen was draining her energy. Like someone breakable and exhausted. He knew the feeling, himself, and it came from one place.
Feyland.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN- THE BRIGHT COURT
The corner of Jennet’s tablet lit up with a private message - from Tam. Her heart kicked, and she sent a quick glance to the front of the classroom, where the Lit teacher was droning on about poetic forms. Holding her tablet low, she opened the message.
Keep an eye on Keeli. Remind you of anyone?
Hm, that was cryptic.
She set the tablet back on her desk. Keeli shared this class with her, though she hadn’t gotten to know the other Viewer girl that well. What had Tam meant? Jennet leaned forward and glanced down the row to where the black-haired girl sat.
Wow. Keeli looked pale as milk. Her skin seemed almost translucent, and her eyes were shadowed. As Jennet watched, the girl brought a trembling hand up to her throat and swallowed.
Keeli looked like… she looked…
“Mr. Clark?” Jennet didn’t wait for the teacher to acknowledge her. “I think Keeli’s about to faint.”
“Miss Carter, you’re disrupting - ”
“Catch her!”
Jennet was out of her chair and at the other girl’s side just in time to keep her from tumbling to the floor. Geez, she was heavier than she looked.
Jennet wasn’t the only student to get there, though. Roy Lassiter crouched beside her and gathered Keeli up in his arms. A stran
ge look, almost of regret, crossed his face.
“I’ll take her down to the nurse,” he said.
“Is she still breathing?” Jennet couldn’t tell.
“Yes.” A spark of annoyance flashed in Roy’s eyes. “Move, please.”
She backed up, and Roy got to his feet, carrying Keeli. Jennet started after him, but Mr. Clark held up his hand.
“Take your seat please, Miss Carter. I’m sure Mr. Lassiter has everything under control.”
The door closed behind Roy and his burden, and the room fell uncomfortably silent. Jennet slowly went back to her desk, feeling the prickle of everyone watching her, though it was hardly her fault Keeli had collapsed.
But was it Roy’s?
At lunch, the cafeteria was filled with the buzz of speculation. Every student had a theory about what had happened to Keeli, and the babble of voices was loud in Jennet’s ears.
“You’re late,” Marny said as Jennet set her tray down at their usual table.
Tam gave her a long, level look. His green eyes were serious. “Did you see my message?”
“Yes.” Jennet said. “I stopped by the nurse’s office - I wanted to find out how Keeli is doing.”
“And?” Tam asked.
“They took her to Central Hospital for testing.”
He leaned forward, tense. “She’s that bad?”
“She’s not in a coma, if that’s what you mean. The nurse said she’s going to be all right. They thought Keeli was dehydrated.”
“Dehydrated. Right.” His voice was flat.
Marny glanced between the two of them, her bobbed black hair swinging across her shoulders. “What are you guys saying? Did Keeli game on some flawed equip, like what happened to Tam last month?”
“Maybe,” Jennet said. “Though Keeli doesn’t sim. In fact, from what I know, she pretty much despises gaming.”
When she’d first arrived at Crestview High, Jennet had desperately needed to find a prime simmer. She’d tried the Viewers, first, with no luck. Had Keeli changed her mind, under Roy’s influence? The thought made her cold.
