by K. C. Crowne
“I can’t go through with the procedure.”
My stomach dropped.
That was it. The plan with Carly ended as simply as that.
But before I could say anything in response, she lifted her eyes to mine.
“I can’t go through with the procedure, Ryan. Because you already got me pregnant.”
Chapter 18
CARLY
Honestly, I hadn’t been sure what kind of reaction to expect from Ryan.
But I sure as heck hadn’t expected what I got – which was nothing at all.
He stared off into space, a strange expression on his face like he’d heard a noise in the distance that might’ve been someone calling his name, but he wasn’t quite sure.
He was like that for a good minute or so. Right before I felt like I needed to say something, to ask him how he was doing, what he thought of it all, he took in a slow breath through his nose and spoke.
“Huh.”
“Are you OK?”
He bit his lower lip and fixed his eyebrows into an expression of concentration. It was almost as if he’d just been presented with a problem and he needed some time for figure out how to solve it.
Thankfully, the kitchen timer went off at that moment.
“That’s…um, that’s the chicken and rice. Hope that’s OK for dinner.”
“Chicken and rice,” he repeated. “That’s good.” But he kept staring ahead at some point in the middle distance.
The more I looked at the guy, the more I began to realize he was more confused than anything else. And I couldn’t blame him in the slightest. Here Ryan had come over expecting to discuss my psych and physical results, and probably ready to talk me into the surrogacy.
But there was no way he’d expected this. And how could he? We’d had sex once. Granted, it was unprotected, and he hadn’t pulled out, but how many women out there got pregnant after having sex with someone once?
I hurried into the kitchen, relieved to have an excuse to give him some space. I turned off the timer, then slipped on my gloves and opened the oven, the dark blue Dutch oven ready to be removed. I took it out and placed it on the stove, then removed the top.
The smell of roasted chicken and creamy rice flowed up to my nostrils, the scent so damn good that it took me out of the crazy-as-hell moment I was in the middle of. A small pot containing some steamed broccoli was on the stove, and I gave that a quick check before taking a pair of plates from the cupboard.
“Um, dinner’s ready. Do you want me to bring it over to you?”
“No, that’s fine. I’ll serve myself.” He said the words in a totally blasé way, as if he weren’t concerned about anything at all.
I wasn’t sure what to think. Anger, I could understand. Panic, sure. But this…blankness? I didn’t know what to make of that.
I wondered if he’d still want to go through with this knowing that I’d gotten pregnant the old-fashioned way. There was no way to tell without him saying a word about it. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve been weirded out or what.
He came over and took one of the plates, taking in a slow sniff once he was in front of the Dutch oven.
“This looks really good,” he said once the spoon was in his hand.
“It’s just regular old chicken and rice.”
“Nice and simple,” he said. “But I bet you’ve got a way of making it extra special.” Once the plate was loaded with chicken and rice and broccoli, he raised it a bit and flashed me a smile. “Thanks.”
With that, he went over to the kitchen table and set down his plate. Then he reached for the bottle of wine, glass, and corkscrew, and once they were in front of him, opened the bottle.
“Ah,” he said with a nod. “That’s why you didn’t want to drink. Well, do you mind if I do?”
I stared at him confused, not sure what to make of the display in front of me. Was he going to lose his shit at any moment? Maybe launch the plate against the wall or something?
Not sure what to do, I made up my plate, grabbed some silverware and sat down at the table with him. I passed some silverware to him and he took with a smile and a nod.
“This looks great,” he said. “And now that I’m sitting here with the food in front of me, I’m realizing how damn hungry I am. Mind if I dig in?”
“Uh, sure.”
He cut a chunk off the chicken and pushed some rice onto the fork with his knife. Then he popped it into his mouth and chewed. Once he swallowed it down the hatch, he made an “mmm!” noise and shook his head in disbelief.
“See, I knew this was going to be good, but I didn’t think it was going to be this good.” He took another bite, chewed it, then made another appreciative noise. After that, he went right back to eating with no sign of stopping to talk about the bombshell I’d just dropped on him.
It was all I could stand.
“Alright,” I said. “Ryan, you’re starting to weird me out.”
He regarded me with a confused expression as he chewed. “What? Why?”
“Why? How about because I just told you that I’m freaking pregnant, and you responded by casually making yourself up a plate like we’re at the Old Country Buffet or something.”
“The Old Country what?”
“It’s an American restau – you know what, it doesn’t matter.”
“So, what’s the issue?” he asked.
“The issue is…well, that we’ve got tons of issues to sort out now!”
“Like what? It all seems pretty straightforward to me.”
“Well, like our financial arrangement.”
He was confused. “What, you think you’re going to need more money? We can do that, but it might be a better idea to see what our budget’s going to be when things come up during the pregnancy.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s more about how you were going to be paying me to be a surrogate. But now I’m not a surrogate – I’m a woman you knocked up. So…I don’t feel right about taking the money. This is a natural pregnancy now, and I have more responsibility.”
That got a curious look out of him. “What? I don’t know about that. I agreed to support you while you were pregnant, and I’m not sure the situation changes just because you got pregnant the old-fashioned way. If anything, I should be paying you more since now I don’t have to give thousands to the fertility clinic. Hell, you saved us both a bit of trouble.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. It began to dawn on me that Ryan wasn’t acting the way he was because he’d had a psychotic break or something, but because he really, truly, was totally calm and chill about this new development.
He kept on eating as I thought, chewing happily and making more “mmm” noises that made it clear he was really into my basic chicken and rice.
“This is really great,” he said, gesturing to the food with his fork. “That’s what I love about American food – simple but delicious. You know, when I moved here back when I was a kid, I thought Americans ate nothing but burgers and fries.”
He glanced at my plate, seeing that it was untouched.
“Now, I’m not about to tell you your business. But you’re eating for two now, and…”
Ryan was right. I grabbed my fork and knife, cutting off a slice of chicken and popping it into my mouth. I wasn’t hungry, but I needed a moment to think. I was still a little freaked out by how calmly he was handling it all, but his even temperament was putting me more and more at ease by the second.
“Maybe this way is better, you know?” he said. “I could tell you were really having a hard time with not being able to see the baby. And this way you can. Good news, huh?”
“Wait, what? You’ll let me be a part of the baby’s life now?” I asked.
He nodded. “Of course. I don’t feel right asking you to just give the baby up now. It seems so cold now that you’re pregnant. We could make an arrangement.”
“But there’s still the matter of us not being married. Or hell, even together.”
“Sure, that’s a complication. But it’s not unheard of, right? And we live in the same town, so it’s not like it’ll be hard to figure out some sort of joint custody thing.”
He took another bite and went on.
“Or, if you’re not feeling up to being a mother, I can take the baby full-time like we’d first agreed. Maybe you can have a few months or years or however long to get your bearings until you’re ready to be a figure in the baby’s life.”
Ryan followed this up with a small sip of wine.
“Either way, I’m planning on helping you financially. I’ll pay for all the expenses, the doctor’s appointments – whatever. And I don’t want to hear another word about it. That’s what we agreed upon, and that’s what we’re going to do.”
I didn’t know what to say. At first, I’d worried that he was going to freak out, that he’d be furious about this change in plans. But no. Ryan was taking it all in stride, not bothered in the slightest. And as worried as I was, his calmness and confidence about the situation made me feel a hell of a lot better.
Tears formed in my eyes. I was so happy to have a man like him in my life that I didn’t know any other way to respond than to cry. I sniffed and quickly wiped my tears away, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
But he did. Ryan turned to me with a concerned expression, and when he realized what was happening, he set down his fork, then moved off his chair and onto his knees in front of me. He took my hands into his and squeezed them gently.
“You don’t need to worry, and you most definitely don’t need to cry. I’m going to be here for you every step of the way, and all you need to think about is holding that baby in your arms nine months from now.” He glanced away, thinking of something. “Well, less than nine months. But we’re going to make it happen, alright?”
His words were so kind, so considerate, that I wanted to cry even more. But I held back this time, not wanting to seem like too much of a hot mess.
Once I composed myself, however, I noticed the way Ryan was looking at me. There was warmth and kindness in those gorgeous eyes of his. But there was something else, too – longing. With each second that passed I became surer and surer that he wanted to kiss me.
And I wanted to kiss him, too.
“Anyway,” he said, taking his hands from mine and getting back into his chair. “We’ve got tons to discuss and there’s no reason we need to get it all figured out tonight. Not to mention, I don’t want to let a bite of this delicious food go to waste.”
Chapter 19
RYAN
It was a surprise that I hadn’t been expecting.
But damn, was it a welcome one.
My dinner became an exercise in restraint. First of all, I had to hide how damn happy I was that she’d be having our baby. I’d been prepared for a long process of labs and doctors and test tubes and all the rest. But with a simple act of lovemaking, we’d bypassed all of that. The baby was on the way, and that was that.
I wasn’t too concerned about the money I was saving from not needing to go through with the in vitro process, but it made me feel good to know that instead of spending it all on treatments, I could simply sock it away for the baby’s college fund, and that put another smile on my face.
I had to keep my happiness to myself. But it wasn’t only happiness. Knowing that Carly and I were going to be parents…that made me feel a way I never had before in my entire life. I was certain I’d need some time to process my feelings, but at that moment all I could think about was kissing Carly, of celebrating the amazing news we’d both been blessed with.
But I held back. It was a happy moment; I didn’t need to make it complicated by adding sex into the mix – as tempting as it might’ve been.
I watched as Carly finally took a bite of her food, then another. That made me feel good. It was strange...the moment I found out she was pregnant a protective urge came over me, like nothing in the world mattered other than Carly and the baby.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
She laughed nervously. “That’s the million-dollar question, huh? I don’t know. I’m happy, but I’m also scared. It’s one thing to talk about having a baby like it’s this abstract event that may or may not happen in the future.” Carly set down her fork and placed her hand on her belly. “But knowing it’s happening right now, that there’s a little person inside of me getting bigger and bigger with each second? It’s almost too much to wrap my head around.”
“Well, the good news is that you don’t need to process it all right now. Just relax, let it settle in your mind. People have been having babies since, well, there were people.”
This got a smile out of her. “I know. Still weird to know that there’s this process happening right now that I don’t really have any say in. My body’s doing its thing and then bam, baby time in nine months.”
I grinned. But as she ate, I looked around at her house, thinking about how I wasn’t sure how I felt about her going through the pregnancy on her own in a place like this. The house was well taken care of, sure, but when I thought about the neighborhood, that creepy guy outside…it didn’t sit well with me.
Then my eyes landed on the pile of clothes near the front door.
“What’s the story with those? I know you yanks do things different, but I have to admit putting dirty clothes by the front door is a new one to me.”
She grinned sheepishly. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“It’s alright. Let’s hear it.”
“The washer broke the other day right in the middle of breakfast. Sprayed water everywhere right as Adam and I were getting ready for our days.”
“Pain the in the ass, sure. But I don’t see what’s embarrassing about it. “
“Well, I’ve been taking my clothes over to my friend Allie’s place. And…”
She trailed off, and I got right away what she was hinting at – she didn’t have the money to repair or replace the thing. I took the last bite of my food, washing it down with the last sip of wine.
“Back when I was a kid on the farm, I helped my dad with all sorts of repairs here and there. It’s been a while, but I could take a look at it if you want.”
She shook her head as soon as I finished speaking. “No, you don’t need to do that. We’re here to relax and have dinner and take in all this news. I don’t need you getting dirty fixing my broken appliances.”
“It’s nothing,” I said, getting up from the table. “I’ll take a look, and if I’m out of my depth I’ll leave it alone and we can talk about getting a proper repairman over here.”
Carly opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. I guessed she could sense that, as the stubborn type, there wasn’t going to be any talking me out of it.
“Let me grab you the toolbox.” She got up with me, hurrying over to the nearby living room closet and pulling out a box of tools. “It’s missing some stuff, but it should have everything you need.”
She handed it over before leading me down a short hallway to the laundry room at the far end.
“Can’t be too hard,” I said. “And there’s always YouTube.”
That got a laugh out of her. “That’s what Adam said. But he didn’t have much luck. Kid’s smart as they come, but he’s never been good with tools and repairs. Kind of runs in the family, I guess.”
We reached the laundry room, which was small and cramped. The faint smell of moldy water lingered in the air. The washer was pulled out a bit from the wall, but there was enough room for me to get my big body in there and look around.
I checked out the back, giving the drain pipe a little tug. The second I did that I knew what was wrong. I pulled out the screwdriver I needed and squatted down as best I could before rolling up the sleeves of my dress shirt over my forearms and getting to work.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m just standing here watching. I can leave if you want.”
“Nah, don’t bother. Should be simple enough to fix and I don’t mind working with an audien
ce. After all, who would be there to be impressed without one?” I gave her a wink and a smile before getting back to it. “Now, the thing about stuff like washers is that if something is wrong with them, it’s almost guaranteed to be one of a few things. For example, with yours the water’s spraying out everywhere. And that means the problem is with either the water intake, or the water removal process.”
She said nothing as I worked, her mouth opened slightly and her hand on her chin, a slightly nervous expression on her face as if I were in the process of disarming a bomb.
“How long have you had this?” I asked as I pulled the last screw out of the drainpipe gasket.
“As long as I’ve been living here. “So…five years. And the landlord’s not the best about replacing things.”
I noted what she said, adding it to my list of reasons why I didn’t want her living here.
“Well, parts wear out in time, which is what’s going on here.” I adjusted the gasket, making sure it was seated in place. Once that was done and I was satisfied with its position, I replaced the pipe and screwed it back into the input. I got it good and tight, giving it a quick pull to make sure it was in there.
“Did you do it?” she asked.
“Moment of truth.”
I swiveled around and turned on the water. Once that was done, I sidled around the washer and got in front of it, reaching for the controls.
“What happens if it doesn’t work?”
“Then we turn off the water and start thinking about a new one. But let’s give it a go first, yeah?”
I turned the washer on, the worn-out machine grumbling to life. Carly and I watched in silence, listening as the drainpipe began to pull water into the machine, the shhhh sound of water filling the basin sounding out.
“Holy shit!” she said, her eyes going wide. “That’s it! You did it!”
I dusted my hands. “It’s not a permanent fix. The pipe came loose from the vibrations, which means it’ll happen again before too long. What you really need is for your landlord to buy you a new –”
