by Marilyn Lee
“Look, honey, I know you’re in love with Calder and I’m not looking to get in your bed,” he told her, as they stood by her car in the parking lot.
“Aren’t you? Why else would you be pursuing me?”
He frowned. “Look, at the risk of sounding vain, I’ll tell you that I have never met a woman I wanted that I didn’t get. Never. If I wanted you in my bed, you’ll end up there sooner or later.”
Although she shook her head, she suspected he was right. “So you don’t want me in your bed. Charming, Clayton.”
He laughed and shook his head. “That came out all wrong. Let me rephrase that. If I were hell-bent on going to bed with you and that was my primary interest in you, you’d end up in my bed.”
“Then what are you looking for? What do you want from me?”
“Don’t misunderstand, honey. If you weren’t so in love with bonehead, I’d be delighted to make love to you, but I’ve accepted the limitations you’ve placed on our relationship.” He shrugged. “Can’t we just be friends?”
“Jefferson wouldn’t like–”
“Really? Does he choose your friends for you?”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe I was about to say that. Of course he doesn’t choose my friends.”
“Good. Because sometimes I just want feminine company without...” He paused. “After my other remark this is really going to sound vain beyond words, but, hell, that’s how it is. I get tired of women coming onto me. Sometimes I just want to be with a woman without any sexual connotation.” He grinned. “Granted that doesn’t happen often, but when it does... may I call you?”
She stared up at him, surprised at how at ease she felt with him. “I do like you.”
“I like you. So. And anytime you want to do something about our mutual like, I’d be happy to oblige.”
She sighed. “Please don’t tempt me.”
He laughed. “Until then we’ll be friends.” He extended his hand. “Shake on it?”
When she placed her hand in his, he bent his head and brushed his lips against her cheek. “And if you need a male perspective or want someone to give Calder a kick in his dumb ass to get him moving in the right direction, I’ll be at your disposal, honey.”
She laughed and got in her car. “You keep your big feet on the ground. I like his ass just as it is.”
He closed her car door. “I’ll give you a little space and then I’ll call you. Okay?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
When he bent to kiss her cheek, she turned her head and his lips brushed lightly against hers.
She caught her breath and then parted her lips.
He pressed a long, warm kiss against her mouth before nibbling at her lips. “Anytime you want to change the rules...” He cupped his palm around the back of her head and licked her lips. A tingle of desire danced down her spine. “We can be friends with benefits,” he murmured. “Lots of benefits... benefits we can share as often as you like.”
Friends with benefits. She couldn’t accept that from Jefferson because she was in love with him. She needed more than that from him. But why shouldn’t she try it with Clayton? If she couldn’t get what her heart needed from Jefferson, why shouldn’t she allow her body the sweet release she was certain she could find in Clayton’s bed?
Why should she care how Jefferson would feel if he learned she and Clayton were lovers? Because she loved him. She shook her head and drew away from him. “I would really like that.”
“So would I. So why don’t we do it?”
“You know why.”
“If he doesn’t come up to scratch soon, I just might decide he’s not worthy of you.”
“Then what?”
“Then I’d go into pursuit mode and you would end up in my bed.” He touched her cheek. “And once I had you there, I’m thinking I wouldn’t be inclined to ever let you go.”
She stared at him. “What are you saying?”
He kissed her cheek and straightened. “Good night, honey.”
“Clayton? You didn’t answer my question.”
“I don’t think you really want me to answer it. Just know that if he doesn’t want you in a way you want him to, there are other men who do and will.”
“I don’t understand.”
He stroked her cheek. “Oh, I think you do.”
“We’ve only seen each other a couple of times.”
“I’ve been interested in you since I saw you at a trade show three years ago.”
“What?”
“But it was clear even then that you only had eyes for him. Not that that would have stopped me.”
“You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Women have given me reason to be.”
That she could well believe. “So what did stop you?”
“I didn’t want you to think I was asking you out in an attempt to get Calder Tech secrets. But once I learned you’d left the company, I called you. And here we are.”
She stared up at him. How could this gorgeous hunk have wanted to date her for three years while she’d been eating her heart out for Jefferson? If she had known of his interest then... “I should go.”
“Yes, you should before I decide to come with you. If that happens, we’ll end up spending the night together.”
“You said you only wanted to be friends.”
“What I want right now is you in bed.”
She moistened her lips.
“You don’t want that. Do you, honey?”
She swallowed the yes trembling on her lips. “Good night.” She closed her driver’s side window, secured her seatbelt, and drove away.
After a long soak, while she tried not to think of what Clayton had said, meant, or implied, she fell asleep.
Naked, she ran along a moonlight beach. Clayton, naked and aroused, chased her. As she glanced over her shoulder to gauge how close he was, she fell. Before she could scramble to her feet, he was on the sand beside her, rolling her on to her back, mounting her, and pushing his hard legs between her thighs. She cried out in an agony of pleasure as he drove his cock balls deep into her with a thrust so powerful, her toes curled and her back arched.
“I knew you wanted to be friends with benefits, you sweet honey. Now I have you and you are mine and this is my pussy!” He groaned as he slid his hands under her ass and fucked her wet pussy with long, deep, hard strokes that drove her wild with lust. Each time he drew partway out of her, she sobbed in protest, tightening herself around him. And when he drove his powerful hips down, and his hot cock plowed back into her, she shuddered and clung to him.
“Oh, Clay... don’t ever stop.”
Unwilling to part with even an inch of his wonderful dick, she wrapped her legs around him and fucked herself on his cock until she came and came.
Then he shot his seed into her, withdrew, turned her onto her stomach, spread her legs, and slid his big body over hers. She closed her eyes and clenched her hands into fists at her side as she felt his cock slipping between her cheeks.
“No,” she whispered. “No, Clay, no. Take as much pussy as you like, but this belongs only to Jeff.”
“Bonehead had his chance and blew it. Now, you and this beautiful ass of yours belong to me, honey,” he whispered and pressed his dick against her puckered opening. “And I’m going to fuck you there to prove it.”
Instead of resisting, as she knew she should, she moaned and lifted her hips, eager to feel the first inch of his hard cock taking possession of her ass.
He gripped her hips and she moaned with pleasure as the big head of his cock pushed its way past her protesting opening, and halfway up her rectum. “Oh, no!”
“Oh, yes! Feels good, doesn’t it, honey?”
“Yes,” she whispered in a small, shamed voice. “Oh, Clay, yes!”
“It’s getting ready to feel even better.” Settling his weight on her, he slipped his hands under her body to cup her breasts, bit the side of her neck, and slowly forced the rest of his c
ock in her until he was buried to the hilt in her ass.
“Oh, honey, I knew your ass would be as tight and sweet as your pussy.” He slowly fucked his cock in and out of her ass, sending waves of lust crashing over her. She moaned and luxuriated in every wonderful hot stroke as he bottomed out in her over and over. With each stroke, he lay a claim to her that she was too weak to challenge.
He leaned over her and rained biting kisses on her neck and shoulders as he fucked her with deep, painful strokes until she sobbed his name and came. “Clayton! Clayton! Oh, Clayton, don’t ever stop fucking me!”
Sharde bolted into a sitting position in her darkened bedroom, her heart pounding. It took her several moments to realize that she’d been dreaming. Dreaming? She fell back against her bed. Dreaming that Jeff had anal sex with her was dreaming. Doing the same with Clayton was a nightmare.
Darbi had been right. She shouldn’t see Clayton again. If she did, they were definitely going to end up as lovers, with her joyfully welcoming him into all her openings, pussy, ass, and mouth. She shuddered at the thought of Clayton’s cock sliding into her. Although she had never actually seen his cock, she had felt it a few times as they slow danced. From what she had felt she knew he had nothing to be ashamed of, size-wise.
“Stop it, Sharde!” She turned and buried her burning face against her pillow.
When he called and asked her to have dinner with him a week later, she told him she needed some time to deal with issues before they saw each other again.
“Damn, honey. Are you sure? I’m going to visit my parents and will be out of the country for several weeks. I don’t suppose you’d like to come with me?”
“I can’t, Clay.”
“Damn. Okay.” He sighed. “I’ll call you.”
“Okay. Have a safe trip.”
“I’d enjoy it more if you came with me.”
“I can’t, Clay.”
That night she arrived home to find a dozen roses outside her condo door.
I’m going to miss you, honey. Miss me too. Clay.
“I will, Clay,” she said softly.
That night, she dreamed of Clayton and Jefferson both begging her to marry them. She woke the next morning with the memory of having chosen Clayton after he spent a night making love to her in every conceivable way. When he called her a week later, they talked for over an hour.
As she listened to his deep, warm voice, she imagined him whispering all kinds of naughty things in her ear and got aroused.
“I think you should know that when I return, I’ll be in full pursuit mode and to hell with bonehead,” he told her.
She sighed. She’d wasted nine years and a number of weeks waiting for Jefferson. Maybe it was time to count her emotional losses and start fresh with Clayton. He certainly seemed to want her. “Clay, I–”
“You don’t need to say anything, honey. I know how you feel about bonehead... and how I feel about you. I’m tired of playing nice. Since I promised you nothing you didn’t want to happen would ever happen between us, I wanted to give you a heads up. When I return, no more Mr. Nice Guy. My goal is going to be to land you in my bed.”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk like that.”
“Why not?”
“It makes me hot,” she admitted.
“And when you get hot does your pussy get wet and your nipples harden? Do you want to know what’s hard on me?”
She took several deep breaths. “You’re only making me hotter!”
He laughed. “That’s the idea. Damn, I wish I hadn’t promised my mother I’d spend a few weeks with her.” He sighed. “I’d better go before I get too aroused.”
“Clay...”
“Yes?”
She bit back the urge to tell him she’d be waiting when he returned. “I...”
“You can tell me when we see each other in a couple of weeks.”
“A couple of week seems a long time.”
“A very long time. Are you ready to give us a try?”
Jeff would find her sleeping with Clay unforgivable. If she took that final step any lingering hope she had of resuming a relationship with Jeff would be destroyed. Her body was ready for that step, but was her heart?
“Never mind,” he said after her silence. “You can tell me when we see each other again. Good night, sweetheart.”
“Good night, Clay.”
It took several hours for her to fall asleep that night. As she dressed the next morning, a dozen roses were delivered.
I can’t wait to see you again, honey. Clay.
She sighed. When he returned in five weeks, she knew she would face the biggest decision of her life.
Four weeks later, tired from a ten-hour day at the shelter and confused by her mounting lust for Clayton while still in love with Jefferson, Sharde walked to her car. She had been putting in long days since she’d started. Dianne had insisted she not return until Wednesday.
The long days at the shelter were tiring but rewarding. Her severance package from Calder Technologies had been more generous than she’d expected. She had decided she could afford to stay at the shelter full-time for several months before she would need to get another job.
She got in her car and drove home, her thoughts on a long soak and Clayton’s unexpected call that morning from Jamaica, asking her to consider coming to spend a long weekend with him there. She frowned, trying to decide how she would spend the next five days which she could have spent in Jamaica with Clay. The thought of so much time on her hands was rather unsettling. She had managed to keep her heartache at bay by putting in ten to twelve hour-days. Her thoughts turned to Clayton again. Getting over Jeff was proving harder than she’d anticipated. She knew a relationship with Clayton would engage her senses in a way that might finally rid her of her lingering obsession for Jeff. Perhaps she’d been a fool to insist she and Clayton remain friends when they both wanted more.
She usually arrived home at night too tired to do anything but get a quick soak before falling exhausted into bed. When she had time on her hands, her thoughts and her dreams turned to Jefferson and what they might have had. She no longer blamed him exclusively for having taken another woman to his bed. If she had been more understanding of his pain, she wouldn’t have issued that ridiculous ultimatum that had ended in his picking up a woman in a bar.
After his pleas that last day in her office, she had expected to have to ignore his phone calls and refuse to see him when he showed up at her condo. He had done neither. She had not seen him since she’d resigned. On her last day at Calder Technologies, he had taken the day off, an action she had considered the final insult.
He had been prepared to marry her and yet he had made no effort to contact her. She knew she was well rid of him, but the ache deep inside persisted, as raw and painful as it had been when that woman had answered his phone in the middle of the night.
She stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall to her condo. She came to an abrupt stop. Two vases of long-stemmed roses sat outside her apartment door.
More roses from Clayton. Angry tears welled in her eyes. Why couldn’t Jefferson be half as romantic and considerate as Clayton? She opened her apartment door and then picked them up to carry them inside. She reached for the card sticking out from the roses.
When she saw name scrawled at the bottom of the card, her hands shook.
Forgive me. Please. Jefferson.
She put the roses on the hall table and leaned her forehead against the door. The sound of the video buzzer made her jump. Her heart raced. She knew it was him. She pressed the buzzer by the door on the intercom. “Yes?”
“It’s Jefferson, Sharde. Will you please talk to me?”
Finally. “Yes.” She nodded and released the buzzer. When the knock sounded on her door, her heart jumped into her throat.
“Who... who is it?”
“Jefferson.”
She took a deep breath and opened the door.
He came in, a bouquet of roses in the crook of
one arm. He closed the door, placed the roses on the hall table, and looked at her. “Hi.”
She swallowed hard. “Hi.”
“How have you been, Sharde?”
“Fine. You?”
“Miserable. I have been absolutely miserable.”
“Going through March Madness by yourself was rough, huh?”
He laughed and raked a hand through his hair. “For once Ben was around, but nothing is the same without you.”
“So. How are things at the office?”
“Ah... okay. Darbi is doing an adequate job filling in for you.” He sighed. “But she’s not you, Sharde.”
She wet her lips, fighting back tears. “Does she need to be?”
“God, yes! Oh, honey, I miss you. Please tell me you miss me too... just a little.”
She pressed a hand against her mouth, shaking her head. Dare she admit how much she missed him? She took a deep breath. She had to. “I have.”
“Forgive me?” He spread his arms wide.
She walked into his arms. They closed around her. She buried her face against his shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks, her body shaking. Holding her close, he sank down to the floor, his lips against her hair. He rocked her, stroking her shoulders. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, honey. So sorry.”
She lifted her head and looked up at him through her tears. She touched his face with trembling hands. “It was partly my fault. I knew you were hurt and needed time. I should have been more understanding and given you the time you needed to heal. But I was selfish. I’d waited so long and I wanted you so badly that I pushed you into sleeping with her.”
His eyes blazed. “I did not sleep with her, Sharde! I swear I didn’t. I took her home because she reminded me of you, but when we got there, I couldn’t sleep with her.”
“It doesn’t matter if you did.”
“I didn’t and it matters to me that you believe me, Sharde.”
She looked in his eyes and saw no deception. “I do believe you.” She touched his lips. “I’m sorry I was so unreasonable. I should”
He kissed her fingers. “You weren’t unreasonable. You were right. I was trying to make you accountable for past hurts that had nothing to do with you.” He stroked his hand over her face, brushing away her tears. “And I was incredibly blind. I can’t believe I allowed Linda and Vanessa to make a first-class fool of me while you were right under my nose.”
