Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3)

by Michelle Irwin

  I froze. Her words confirmed my worst fears. My body sagged against her, and I pulled her closer to me, fearing the moment she would speak the words that would finish me off. Terrified of the moment she would leave. It was too late.

  “Please don’t take Phoebe away from me,” I whispered. “I couldn’t bear it if you did. I need her in my life. I need both of you in my life. Please . . . don’t . . . leave.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” Her voice was breathy but reassuring as her hand brushed across my cheek.

  “But the magazine . . . the story. Eden.”

  She offered me a small, knowing smile. “I know.”

  The calm she exuded confused me. “Don’t you think I cheated on you?”

  With her honey-brown gaze locked on me, she said, “What did I tell you, Dec? I wanted to trust you. Somewhere along the line, I think I genuinely started to. If I’d seen that filth a few weeks ago, I probably would have believed every damn word. But now? After everything you’ve done? With the way you reacted to finding out about your father? I just don’t believe it. I can’t. You might have done some shitty things over the years, but you’re not a bad person. And you’re not a hypocrite.”

  I could have argued her last two points, but I didn’t want to stop her perfect words.

  “Unless of course you’re trying to tell me that you really did have an affair with your co-worker.”

  I shook my head. “Edie’s just a friend. That’s all. There’s nothing else between us.”

  “I thought so.”

  “But why?” I frowned as confusion bubbled within me. “Why do you believe me?”

  Her brows pinched together and a breathy chuckle left her. “Would you prefer that I didn’t?”

  I held her tighter still, squeezing her against my chest. “No.”

  “I stopped to get bread and milk on the way home from the airport. Because I was at work, I popped into the back room and saw the magazine. At first, I was shocked and prepared for the worse. Then I decided to ignore it and see what you had to say about it when I saw you next. But I couldn’t help myself; I had to know what they’d said. I’ve been buying everything with you on the cover for as long as I can remember.” When Alyssa spoke, she rubbed the back of my neck, just above my still-fresh tattoo. “Even as I read the article, I saw a number of things that didn’t make sense.”

  “Like?” The hope that maybe things weren’t permanently damaged between us took root as a tiny ember in my heart and warmed me from the inside out.

  “Well, for starters, I know for a fact that nothing’s going on between you and Ruby, even though the article insinuated there was.” Amusement lit her voice, and I understood why. Ruby had hardly been my biggest ally over the years. Even if she’d softened slightly toward me after our little chat the night before I took Alyssa to the track, she would hardly be willing to jump into bed with me—nor me with her. “Second, you might not remember, but you sent me a text the night you were out with Eden. You told me about the great time you were having with your friend and that you missed me. You went on about how you wished I could meet her. I really don’t think you would have texted me if you were sleeping with her.

  “Finally, and most importantly, when I got back home, magazine in hand, I found your phone. I was worried someone might try to contact you about the article, so I turned it on. I thought I could at least tell them to contact you on your home number if they had it. It lit up instantly with about twenty missed calls, all from one number.”

  “Eden,” I whispered.

  “Eden,” she confirmed with a smile. “Not long after I’d turned the phone on, it rang again. Because I assumed it had to have been important for her to call so often, I answered it. She didn’t even stop for breath as she told me what Danny was doing, and checked whether I knew about the article. She made sure I knew it was all BS.”

  “I’m sorry, Lys,” I said as I recalled the things the article had said about her. “I didn’t mean to drag you into my shit. Maybe it would have been better if I’d never come back into your life.”

  “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that!” Her words were spoken so vehemently that I tugged her closer again to give her some comfort. The undercurrent of pain, the doubt and fear that I’d worked to wash away, existed once more in her impassioned cry. I wondered whether she was as scared of me running as I was of her pushing me away.

  With her in my arms, a sense of sanity returned to me and I could think properly again. I turned the article over in my mind.

  “I just don’t understand why they would attack me like that,” I murmured. “And why they would attack you at all?”

  “To sell magazines?” she offered.

  I shook my head. That would have been part of it, for sure. A cover with a scandal almost guaranteed a greater circulation, but a one-page article hinting at a relationship with Eden would have done that. Even the revelation of Phoebe’s existence would have been enough to bump up sales. The article was too long to be just about numbers. There was something else happening. There were too many coincidences. Too many times that a photographer was close at hand and ready to capture my mistakes. “It feels like there’s more to it than that. It’s almost like it’s connected somehow—”

  “Like everything’s connected,” Alyssa finished my sentence.

  “Exactly.” The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It was no coincidence that the photographers were at the benefit, and someone had to have been following me to have gotten the photos of Eden and me, as well as the photos with Ruby in the one tiny moment we’d embraced. They had to have been waiting for that shot.

  Even the fight with Dad had been over too fast for a random pap to have stumbled across us—unless they were already in the area.

  “Alex,” Alyssa whispered.

  “What?” I pulled away, shocked. My own mind drifted toward the one woman who seemed to be around each time things had gone to shit. And that was a certain redhead from a nightclub, not Alex, the PR representative for my former employer’s rival.

  “Alex,” she repeated louder. “She mentioned something to me, at the benefit, about hearing something around Wood Racing. While you were in the bathroom, she pulled me aside and warned me that Paige was not above using dirty tactics to get to you. That’s why I wasn’t there when you came out to find me. She wouldn’t say anything more though.”

  “You think all of this might be a fucking recruitment campaign to get me to go to Wood Racing?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe it’s not what she meant. Maybe it’s not related. But if it is, well, it’s worked hasn’t it? I mean . . .”

  I closed my eyes to block out the unfinished part of her statement. Yes, I was sacked. She knew it and I knew it, but neither of us could use the word. “No, it didn’t.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “I might be out of Sinclair Racing, but there is no way in hell I would race for that fucking lunatic Wood. Especially if she’s orchestrated this. I’d rather stay unemployed.”

  “You know you’ll probably never know for sure whether she did or didn’t.”

  “I know. But regardless, it would mean moving to Brisbane when you’re moving down here.” I cupped her cheek with my hand and met her gaze. “I’m not going to choose a job over you again, Lys. Not again. That’s a mistake I’m not going to make twice.”

  She kissed me softly in response.

  I closed my eyes and rested my head on her forehead. “Not that I am complaining, but what the hell are you doing here? And where’s Phoebe?”

  “After I spoke to Eden, and she told me what Mr. Sinclair was doing, I knew you’d take it badly. I know it was always your dream to race for them. I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I just threw together a few basics for Phoebe and me, climbed into your car, and drove. Phoebe’s outside right now. With Eden.”

  “Eden?” I asked. I was still amazed that this beautiful, understanding, loving woman was actually stand
ing in front of me. But it was even more astounding that she trusted my judgement enough to put our daughter’s care in the hands of one of my friends, especially one she’d never met.

  “She was camped on the front doorstep when I arrived. She’d tried calling, but the phone must be off the hook or something. We weren’t sure what state you’d be in, so we thought it might be better for me to come in alone. Just to be on the safe side.”

  “You mean just in case I was lying in a pool of my own vomit after passing out from a drinking binge?” I challenged, seeing the real reason she’d put her trust in Eden. It was the lesser of two evils. But I wondered whether she’d admit the direction of her thoughts out loud.

  “Something like that,” she said, stepping back and linking her fingers with mine. The shy apprehension on her face as she continued made it impossible for me to feel even slightly upset with her words. “I’m sorry. I tried to have faith, I really did, but . . . I couldn’t be sure. And if something had happened, I didn’t want Phoebe to see.” She frowned, no doubt recalling the situation in London when I’d passed out and cut my arm badly enough to need stitches. “I didn’t want her to have that memory seared into her mind.”

  I sighed. “I don’t blame you. Not really. It was a close one, Lys. Even I wasn’t sure I could resist.”

  “But you did?” She beamed at me, already guessing my answer.

  With a smile lifting my lips because of her confidence—even if it was tentative—I shook my head. “I couldn’t do it.”

  She brought our linked hands to her mouth and kissed mine softly.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  “I love you, too,” I said, shifting my hands so my palms caressed her face. I met her gaze and refused to break our stare until I knew she understood not only the truth in my words, but the depth of my love. “Now, let’s go get Phoebe. I need to see her too.”

  Hope, happiness, and love filled the void I’d felt since climbing onto the plane to come back to Sydney. I refused to release Alyssa’s hand as we walked to the front door. Together: the way we would be doing everything now.

  “How did you get in anyway?” I asked.

  “Have you forgotten already?” She laughed before holding up the three-hundred-dollar key ring I’d given to her with my house keys dangling from it.

  I smiled in wonder at the amazing woman who’d blessed me with her love.

  As I walked out the door, Phoebe threw herself at me. “Daddy!”

  I let go of Alyssa’s hands just in time to catch Phoebe. Alyssa wrapped her arm around my waist as I stood back up holding Phoebe.

  “Is this your castle, Daddy?”

  I looked back at my house and tried to see it through the eyes of a three-year-old. The two-and-a-half story building was huge, especially compared to the three-bedroom house she and Alyssa lived in. It was easy to indulge her. “It sure is, sweetie. And you know what? It’ll be your castle too very soon.”

  It wasn’t until after the words had left me that I wondered whether Alyssa might not want Phoebe to know that just yet, but it was too late to reel the statement back in.

  “Declan.” Eden’s voice reminded me of her presence.

  “Eden,” I greeted semiformally. Despite the fact she’d tried to warn me and had helped Alyssa out, I wasn’t sure where things stood between us. She was Sinclair through and through, even more than I’d ever been. Now that I’d been sacked, I worried she might consider it a reason to end our friendship.

  “Wow, this”—she indicated Phoebe and Alyssa—“really suits you.”

  “Thanks.” I couldn’t meet her eye. She’d read the magazine. Considering we’d been linked as an item, she had to know it was mostly bullshit, but did she believe any of it?

  She tickled the back of Phoebe’s neck before resting her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about Danny,” she whispered. “I tried to convince him to let you stay, or to at least give you a chance to explain. I told him that there was a lot of BS in the article and the rest was probably a misunderstanding too, or flat-out lies, but he just wouldn’t listen. You know him. He’s so old-fashioned sometimes. Loyalty is the thing he values above all else. I guess he felt betrayed by the stuff with Wood.”

  “It’s okay, Edie.” It wasn’t. I was putting on a brave face, but still there was some truth to my words because I had Alyssa and Phoebe. Nothing else mattered compared to that. “But why aren’t you in Bahrain with everyone else?”

  “I couldn’t just go,” she said. “Not after Danny told me what was going to happen. I’ll be flying out to meet the team in the next few days.”

  With those words, it was clear that at least some of her loyalty still resided with me. She’d sacrificed so much, staying home and risking disciplinary action herself so that she could contact Alyssa and help me. “Thank you for your support.”

  Even as she nodded, she eyed the arm Alyssa had around my waist with a small grin. After a moment, she obviously felt she was intruding.

  “I’m going to leave you in Alyssa’s capable hands,” she said, beaming as she looked at Phoebe again. “But I’ll be back soon. I don’t care if you’re not with Sinclair Racing anymore. Don’t think you can escape me that easily.”

  I just nodded, although inwardly I blew a sigh of relief that things between us could at least return to status quo.

  She turned to Alyssa, grabbing her hand. “And you . . . I’m awed at how fast you’ve been able to domesticate him.” She winked at Alyssa and they both chuckled. “Keep in touch, won’t you?”

  Alyssa nodded and gave her a small hug. My little family stood watching as Eden climbed into her Holden Cascada and drove off. I perched Phoebe on my hip and wrapped my arm around Alyssa’s shoulders.

  “Shall we go inside?”

  “I get to look inside the castle?” Phoebe asked.

  Alyssa met my eye and nodded. “Of course, sweetie. Daddy told you, it’s going to be your castle soon too.”

  Phoebe clapped her hands. “Yay!”

  I didn’t care that it took Alyssa saying the words to make them real for Phoebe, because hearing them offered a sense of relief that I hadn’t anticipated. I put Phoebe back onto the ground and reached for her hand. “Let’s go then, princess.”

  Alyssa chuckled and I led them inside. The smile on my face was half a lie. Even though things seemed okay for the moment, I worried about what might come next. What could I offer them but my love? I’d lost everything except them. I was unemployed, with no skills, and with a sizeable mortgage hanging over my head.

  “We’ll be okay,” Alyssa whispered, as if reading my thoughts.

  All I could do was hope she was right.

  CHAPTER THREE: FAMILY

  AS SOON AS we were inside, I led Alyssa and Phoebe around the house, showing them from room to room, starting on the ground floor. Then I took them upstairs and continued the tour there. When we hit the bathroom, I paused at the door. Liquor stained the wall and the bathtub was full of glass.

  “Daddy, your barftub’s messy.”

  “Uh . . .,” Alyssa started, but then trailed off before she asked any questions. Curiosity blazed in her eyes, though.

  “It was a close one,” I said, repeating my words from earlier as I hung my head.

  “But you didn’t,” Alyssa whispered.

  The reality of everything came crashing over me. There was so much on the tip of my tongue. So much I needed to say—that I wanted Alyssa to know. The letter I’d written her when I’d thought hope was lost sprang to mind. The longing I’d felt when I thought she was gone.

  While Phoebe was otherwise occupied, I turned to Alyssa. “Lys, I—”

  She cut me off by pressing her finger against my mouth. “There’s time for that later. Let’s just enjoy being together tonight? Please?”

  It was clear she was asking for herself as much as for me. Even though the day had no doubt been harrowing for her, just as it had been for me, she was there and willing to push it aside for a little l
onger just to be a family.

  “Okay, but I think you need to call your mum,” I said. “She was a little frantic when I spoke to her last.”

  “Which means she’s probably talked to your mum.”

  Alyssa’s words were a reminder that Mum was due to leave the country the following morning. “Shit, I better call Mum.”

  “Language,” Alyssa said, nodding in Phoebe’s direction.

  “Sorry. Habit. I’ll try to clean it up, I swear. After all, I have a reason to now.”

  I held out my arms for her, and she stepped inside. Phoebe wrapped herself around us, one arm around my leg and one around Alyssa’s.

  “Two reasons,” I added, running my fingers through Phoebe’s hair. She looked up at me with a grin and I couldn’t resist picking her up and resting her on my hip.

  “We should probably get the phone calls over with so we can enjoy our night,” Alyssa said.

  The next hour was a whirl of me entertaining Phoebe while Alyssa called her mum, and then the airline to book a return flight for her and Phoebe. Because she’d driven my car down to meet me, rather than waiting for me to fly back up to claim it, she needed to get back to Brisbane another way.

  Once she’d done what she had to, we swapped so that I could call Mum to say goodbye before she left to jet-set around the globe.

  “You’re okay with this, aren’t you, Declan?” Mum asked. “With me going away, I mean? I can cancel if you’d prefer. Maybe come to Sydney for a while instead.”

  “Mum, how long have you been dreaming about going overseas?”

  “W-what are you talking about?” The innocence in her denial was almost comical.

  “Well, clearly you’ve wanted this for a while. The decision to leave was too impulsive, too fast. Too . . . like me. Not like you at all. You’ve obviously wanted it for a while, and maybe even planned it out in your head.”

  “I—” The guilt in her voice was clear.

  I cut her off with a laugh. “It’s okay, I get it. Really, I do. With the shi—stuff Dad did, I’d be surprised if you hadn’t been planning this escape for years. Who am I to tell you not to go?”